On the Cusp?

[Quill Pen Gentleman]

In regarding my sexuality, I prefer to think of myself on the cusp of black and gray. Like really dark gray merging into black.

My reasoning for this is that I don't experience sexual attraction towards people, and when I do it only lasts for five seconds or it's very very vague. I am at times sexually attracted to cartoon/anime characters, and this is also infrequent. I also sometimes, on rare ocaisions have a slight longing for sex (usually a female cartoon/anime character).

I know of another AVENite who's like this, and there are probably more, but I was wondering what you would call someone who's on the cusp of gray and black?

[Member33070]

I don't know. Once you figure it out, tell me the word for on the cusp of gray and white, because that's about where I am. :P

[Caspian]

I know how you feel. I have no idea what to call myself. I usually end up calling myself "asexual" because, honestly, many "grays" experience sexual attraction orders of magnitude higher than me, giving the gray label a connotation I don't want to associate with since I feel that applying it to myself would be dishonest.

Sometimes I think that I'm just kidding myself by using the gray label. Perhaps I really am an asexual who experienced a hiccup in my levels of sexual attraction a couple years back. And other times, I think I'm kidding myself by aligning myself with grays or asexuals. Sometimes I can't help but think of sexual attraction as Pandora's Box-- no matter how many years have passed since I last experienced sexual attraction, the box can never be closed. In this case, maybe I really am a sexual... perhaps a suppressed sexual?

In other words, I really have no idea what to call myself. The main reason I end up calling myself asexual is because it's a convenient label to use. Of all the labels available, it fits the closest. But I know it's hardly a perfect fit.

And so, I call myself an asexual but try to bring it up as little as possible. I never plan on "coming out" as asexual for this reason. I never disagree with anyone who wants to call me asexual, gray, or sexual, since there's truth in applying any one of these labels to me.

[glass weegie]

im at around the same place as you. i think about sexualish stuff sometimes, but thats mainly because of the people i hang out with :P also, i feel the physical sensations of arousal, but not very strong. so yeah. i identify as barely grey.