sophiz Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Horribly depressed, happy, ok with it? Pls share your thoughts and why. Link to post Share on other sites
Member33070 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Hah! Mine took me by surprise. I was a nonlibidois asexual for 6 1/2 years. Then I randomly started developing a libido (which manifested itself as the urge to masturbate). Then one day I started experiencing pretty intense sexual attraction for someone that hasn't let up one bit and it's been about a month now. I also started finding random people sexually attractive, but not very many. It was/is pretty disturbing to me actually. I'm trying really hard to cope with it and become comfortable with it. I was raised in a very censored home where I got little privacy. Sex was pretty taboo, we wouldn't talk about it. I was prety repulsed by sexuality, possibly because of my upbringing. When I moved out at 18, I started working on my repulsion and got it down to a manageable level. But I still didn't experience sexual attraction or libido. So to finally experience it...I still have these feelings that I am perverted or icky. I feel guilty when I find someone sexually attractive or fantasize about them. I feel like I'm violating them somehow. But I really enjoy masturbating. I really enjoy the thought of having a somewhat sexual relationship in the future. I like that this door was opened for me to be able to experience this side of the coin as well. I like the perspective it gives me and my ability to understand both sides. Even if people don't believe that I was ever actually asexual, I know I was, and now I'm not. I don't know why or how but that's not really important. Link to post Share on other sites
MadRat Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Surprised, confused... I can understand both sexuals and asexuals thanks to it, but my ability to feel sexual attraction has no real meaning for me. It just exists and works its own way. Absolutelly irrational way. There are probably more than one person in this world who I could find sexually attractive but I will probably never meet them. And even if I did, they wouldn´t be eager to be in a relationship with me. I think there are much more asexuals than sexuals who could be appropriate as partner for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Great Thief Yatagarasu Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I'm pretty okay with it, really. I always thought that I was just overly moral and prudent, but it was only after some introspection that I realised I didn't know what sexual attraction felt like. I was like "...huh. Okay." And yeah, my demisexuality doesn't really affect me much - it at least means that I won't jump into relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Not so much happy! I wish I could be aromantic if that was possible. I'm too sexual for many asexuals and not sexual enough for the rest of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Yoji Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I'd have to go with confused tbh...a lot of the time I'm unsure whether I'm going to be feeling slightly more sexual or slightly more asexual and there have even been days that catch me by surprise when I feel totally aromantic. I can't say I ever get used to it but at least I can empathise with both groups I suppose. All in all I guess I'd rather be a little more consistant. Whether that meant I was sexual or asexual doesn't matter too much but it would be nice to have a clue what's going on in my head from time to time <_< Link to post Share on other sites
ozsoul Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I've gone from being a repulsed asexual aromantic to a grey maybe even romantic in the space of 4 years. I had a traumatic event that flipped my world upside down which may account for the repulsed side so I'm pretty damn excited that I can even imagine a world that I could possibly allow another person into. All my life I have struggled with attraction and I know that even though I have made peace with the fact that I'm a grey I know my level of sexual attraction will always be lower or duller than sexuals. This also means relationships will always be tougher and about compromises but I'm willing to accept that considering how bleak everything felt 4 years back. Link to post Share on other sites
MelodyPond Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I was bit relieved, honestly. I've been alone for 12 yrs, because the whole sex thing was too much pressure. I experience arousal and like many others I've seen here, it's mostly expressed as masturbation, but my libido is really low otherwise. People have been trying to get me to date for years, and all but dragging me out and about. Knowing and understanding more about myself makes it easier to understand why, even though I would dearly love a nice boyfriend, I really truly didn't want to date. Now I can concentrate on finding the kind of fulfilling relationship I need. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I re-Post this from one of the Threads in The OFF [Old Farts Forum] I've done enough reading on here to see that there are many "types" of asexuals. I don't know where I fit in here really and don't much care, I am who I am. And that is: In the beginning of a relationship I desire sex with the object of my affections because (I have learned) it is a pathway for me. I am one of those that consider sex a bonding experience at the beginning of a relationship. I feel it is imperative at that point as it is one of the only ways to sew a particular thread in the tapestry of an intimate relationship. It -- to me -- is part of the weaving of trust and security and is one of the bricks that one lays down as the relationship is built. But after a time and once it has been used to sew the pieces together, I desire to lay that thread aside for good. It is as if it has performed its purpose and now it is on to the next phase! There's sum guud stuff ... in sum Old Threads :D Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 *Good to know you still drop in now and again bear... ;) * Link to post Share on other sites
Great Thief Yatagarasu Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Fan-frigging-tastic. :D It's a part of who I am, and I'm proud of that. It's not something I'd shout from the rooftops, but that's because, despite being really honest most of the time, there are some cards that I keep close to my chest. But it's something that I'm happy with, and I don't actually care if it's a label that sticks - having it here, in my brain, helps me understand myself. And it's nice, you know? And it's a part of me that I can't purposefully change, and I love myself too much to hate something as intrinsic to myself as this. Link to post Share on other sites
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