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+Lee

Now that there is a demi/grey-a sub-forum, can there be one for aromantics?

  

  1. 1. Should there be an aromantic sub-forum?

    • I am not aromantic and think this is a good idea.
      13
    • I am aromantic and think this is a good idea.
      20
    • I am not aromantic and think this is a bad idea.
      8
    • I am aromantic and think this is a bad idea.
      12
    • Other (please specify).
      3


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+Lee   
+Lee

First, to address something people might wonder before I go into this post: I have been away from AVEN due to a lot of stress and going ons in my offline life. If you need to know more ask me privately, I don't want this to become a discussion on this thread.

I have found out there has been a forum created for grey-a/demisexuals. I think this is awesome and good, but what about the aromantics? Ever since I joined this site I thought there should be a sub forum for aromantics. The reasons stated before were about not wanting to divide the site up, but now I am seeing talk about other sub-forums being made, and some that already have.

I think there needs to be one for aromantics. I have come out of my hiatus (and hope to do so permanently once my real life calms down more) to make this post as I think it is a disservice to aromantics on this site. I have aromantic friends who feel alienated from this site due to the focus on romantic asexuals there are on here.

If there is a subforum for sexual allies, gender, and grey-a/demisexuals, there should be one for aromantics.

I apologize if there is already talk of doing this or plans too, I took a look around the site to make sure before making this and saw nothing, but just in case I missed something I want to make this disclaimer.

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Sock   
Sock

This is actually the reason I never posted much at AVEN, because I always felt like it was a place for romantic aces, even when I identified as asexual. It's messed up there is a board for allies but not for aromantics.

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glitchunter   
glitchunter

I agree. I would love an aromantic forum.

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HeidiUK   
HeidiUK

As a romantic ace, I feel sorry if I, personally, have made an aromantic person here feel uncomfortable. That was never my intention.

H xx

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nleseul   
nleseul

I will say that it seems like a lot of the aromantic discourse happens on tumblr or other blogging platforms instead of AVEN. I don't know, though, if that's because AVEN doesn't have a dedicated aromantic space, or just because people find blogging software more useful for those sorts of posts than forum software.

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Sock   
Sock

I will say that it seems like a lot of the aromantic discourse happens on tumblr or other blogging platforms instead of AVEN. I don't know, though, if that's because AVEN doesn't have a dedicated aromantic space, or just because people find blogging software more useful for those sorts of posts than forum software.

The reason more aromantic blogging takes place on tumblr and other blogging platforms is likely because AVEN doesn't have a welcoming aromantic space.

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AnotherMember   
AnotherMember

Totally!! lest ask a forum for aromantic people! I'm not, but I have seen that some aromantic complain because they do not get us, so, I guess they will be more comfy if they do not have to see that much informantion about romantic relationship, sex and all that in aven.

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+Lee   
+Lee

I will say that it seems like a lot of the aromantic discourse happens on tumblr or other blogging platforms instead of AVEN. I don't know, though, if that's because AVEN doesn't have a dedicated aromantic space, or just because people find blogging software more useful for those sorts of posts than forum software.

This is probably because there is no forum, but a lot of asexual discourse happens on tumblr too. That tends to happen on other sites.

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PiF   
PiF

didn't we have a aromantic pinned thread that was used as much as a condom in an asexual forum?

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Quill Pen Gentleman   
Quill Pen Gentleman

I'm going to be the odd one out, so far, and say that I am very grateful of the romantics that have made me feel just as at home on AVEN as the aromantics have. :) I've never felt left out on AVEN, and I've never felt like I was being alienated becuase of my lack of romantic orientation.

Buuuuuutttt.....I would totally love an aromantic sub-forum becuase we have a right to have an aro ace sub-forum like the grays and sexuals. And it would be totally awesome.

But I'm going to add this as well: There is an aromantic thread in the Asexual Musings and Rantings sub-forum. Just to remind all the aro aces that we are not totally neglected. :)

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AnotherMember   
AnotherMember

... used as much as a condom in an asexual forum?

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww PiF! vomit-girl-vomit-puke-sick-smiley-emoticon-000651-large.gif

I'm grey and not sex repulsed mostly but that imagine it's really ewwwwwwww :lol: :lol: :lol: Maybe if their forum its open they can move that thread to that forum :) doesnt matter if its not much now! they have already material to start!

Good luck people :cake: :cake: :cake:

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Guest member25959   
Guest member25959

I agree, we do need an aromantic sub/forum, really. I started a thread, asking about a 'Romantic subforum' not so long ago, with mixed responses.

Someone brought up a good point, basically saying that, in creating a sub/forum for each and every category within Asexuality, we are overwhelming ourselves. Which is true, in a way. We have a forum for Gray-A's now, and now we're after an Aromantic sub/forum. I can see a pattern emerging from that, personally.

Don#t get me wrong, I really do think it's a good idea that I'd love to see happen, but how many more sub/forums will follow after this?

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nleseul   
nleseul

didn't we have a aromantic pinned thread that was used as much as a condom in an asexual forum?

You mean this thread, with 18 pages and 513 posts? I didn't think we used condoms all that much, but I don't know.

Someone brought up a good point, basically saying that, in creating a sub/forum for each and every category within Asexuality, we are overwhelming ourselves. Which is true, in a way. We have a forum for Gray-A's now, and now we're after an Aromantic sub/forum. I can see a pattern emerging from that, personally.

It's a fair point, and that's the main reason I'm probably staying fairly agnostic on the question. I can easily see AVEN getting overloaded by subforums if we keep creating them for everything, and I don't really personally feel underserved by the spaces that currently exist, both on AVEN and outside it. If there's enough demand for such a space within AVEN, though, I think aromanticism is a broad enough category to justify one.

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michaeld   
michaeld

You know what. I'm actually personally 100% in favour of an Aromantic subforum. Why? Because they are a subcommunity that sometimes feels disenfranchised on AVEN - much like the older asexuals did and to some extent still do - and a subforum is a good corrective measure for that.

This is going to be an extremely hard sell though. I'm not optimistic. Many people are against splitting the community and dividing AVEN into too many subfora. Straight after a Gray Area was created.... agh. It's gonna be tough. We do have to respond to the division-skeptics' question: where does it stop? How do we know another group isn't going to want their own subforum straight after this?

Here is the first thing to find out. Do aromantics WANT their own subforum? Last time this was discussed, this was anything but clear. I'd be in favour of a poll, for only self-identified Aromantics to respond: yes I'm in favour of an Aromantic subforum, no I'm not, abstain. If most are against it, we might as well stop there. If most are in favour, then we can proceed. But it'll be quite a battle.

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Member33070   
Member33070

Hello, I'm arguably someone who needs to post here...the catalyst of the new gray forum...I don't know...

Anyway...I'm just going to say something that a bunch of people told me when I tried to get the gray subforum going. I don't have much of an opinion on this, myself. Just giving a thought.

I repeat, I don't really have an overwhelming opinion either way (but in general I support anything that makes people happy :)) just throwing out some thoughts.

When the gray subforum was getting started this topic was brought up - "Well, why don't we have subforums for the aromantics and the romantics"...and I could go on to say.. "and the demiromantics and the libidoists and the nonlibidoists and the furries and the people with fetishes and"...and and and...have a Dr. Who subforum and a Pokemon subforum and an anime subforum and...

See how the list gets pretty long? Potentially?

This is what I got thrown at me so I'm just putting it here as well. Something to think about.

In several peoples' opinions, there was a more imminent need for a gray forum, because this is a forum about a sexual orientation, more than anything. Grays are a part of the asexuality spectrum, a part of the sexual orientation that this forum is all about.

Since I am not aromantic I don't understand what it feels like to be one and to feel left out or anything in the boards. I am in no way trying to say that this subforum is any less wanted or needed or desired or would be a good or a bad thing.

But - I feel the need to say this: I don't want the gray subforum to open up Pandora's box of all manner of other subforums being suggested (ie, making things harder for mods - or like, "ooh, this happened so now we can have all these others").

I am ALL FOR anything that makes AVEN stronger and happier and more wonderful, but remember - you will have to prove it's necessary to the mods and go through a poll process just like the gray forum did. It's a bit of work.

good luck :cake:

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+Lee   
+Lee

I added a poll.

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Sock   
Sock

The thing is, aromantics have a much different experience than romantic asexuals, and in my opinion, we have a lot to talk about that we can't talk about on just one thread, and we are a big subsection of the asexual community as well, that has traditionally been shoved to the background. I'd like to see a little representation. I mean, yes, you can make that argument for other groups as well, but furries/Whovians/etc have their own forums already, outside of AVEN. Aromantics really don't have anywhere to go, and frankly a lot of them are turned off by AVEN. Aromantics are a big, big part of the asexual community, and I think it's important we get recognition just as demis/grey-as have.

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michaeld   
michaeld

Voted. But I'm especially interested in how the aromantic people vote.

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+Lee   
+Lee

Guys, did you think that you are using the Logical fallacy known as slippery slope ideal? Like what they use against same sex marriage?

Adding an aromantic sub-forum doesn't mean we have to add others. It just means we are giving a neglected area of our community have more of a voice and a place where they can figure things out and ask questions.

EDIT: Also, you are all assuming all aromantics are asexuals. They have no where on AVEN, the sexual aromantics.

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HeidiUK   
HeidiUK

But the more segregated we become, the harder it is to stay together and integrate.

I'd hate to see AVEN go the same way as other boards I've frequented: cliquéy with a 'them against us' mentality.

H xx

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Guest member25959   
Guest member25959

[see above]

It's a fair point, and that's the main reason I'm probably staying fairly agnostic on the question. I can easily see AVEN getting overloaded by subforums if we keep creating them for everything, and I don't really personally feel underserved by the spaces that currently exist, both on AVEN and outside it. If there's enough demand for such a space within AVEN, though, I think aromanticism is a broad enough category to justify one.

I can agree on that. Just like Gray-A, aromanticism is a very broad category that is apart of Asexuality, and I've heard from a few aromantics, that they do feel unrepresented, in a way, on AVEN.

You know what. I'm actually personally 100% in favour of an Aromantic subforum. Why? Because they are a subcommunity that sometimes feels disenfranchised on AVEN - much like the older asexuals did and to some extent still do - and a subforum is a good corrective measure for that.

This is going to be an extremely hard sell though. I'm not optimistic. Many people are against splitting the community and dividing AVEN into too many subfora. Straight after a Gray Area was created.... agh. It's gonna be tough. We do have to respond to the division-skeptics' question: where does it stop? How do we know another group isn't going to want their own subforum straight after this?

Here is the first thing to find out. Do aromantics WANT their own subforum? Last time this was discussed, this was anything but clear. I'd be in favour of a poll, for only self-identified Aromantics to respond: yes I'm in favour of an Aromantic subforum, no I'm not, abstain. If most are against it, we might as well stop there. If most are in favour, then we can proceed. But it'll be quite a battle.

I agree with all of that, also. There should definitely be a poll for this, some time soon. I can see a lot of people being against the idea of a new forum, it would bee seen as ''splitting the community further''.

But honestly, there's only so far you can actually ''split the community''. If this were to go ahead, if we were to create a new forum for a/romantics, there's only so many other forums that could be requested afterwards.

A forum for the repulsed? Any forum suggestions after that, we could probably disregard, as they probably wouldn't be relevant to AVEN or Asexuality, unlike an aromantic subforum.

''Can we have a forum for Asexuals who like pizza'' ........yea, we can probably disregard something like that instantly.

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HeidiUK   
HeidiUK
A forum for the repulsed?
As one, I really don't think that's needed. I like the fact I can chat about everything on the forums. There are times I like to discuss what repulses me (from a therapeutic point of view). And the times I don't? I just ignore the threads aimed at things that make me uncomfortable.

H xx

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PiF   
PiF

didn't we have a aromantic pinned thread that was used as much as a condom in an asexual forum?

You mean this thread, with 18 pages and 513 posts? I didn't think we used condoms all that much, but I don't know.

15 posts in 7 days..truly representitive

my point could also be ..arrielle i don't know if you looked at how the grey forum was created..it was several weeks of long and heavy discussion..followed by a poll of which an incredibly high number voted..132 of which 72% said yes please

i wondered if you had thought about putting a proper case forward? rather than..they have one so i should have one..it's not fair

Straight after a Gray Area was created.... agh. It's gonna be tough. We do have to respond to the division-skeptics' question: where does it stop? How do we know another group isn't going to want their own subforum straight after this?

will be followed by in this case less than an hour after a forum creation..so what next? teens...gay..lgbt..anime..pan..tri..athiests..faiths..over 20's, over 30's, over 40's etc?

the grey made sense because it was the missing part between sexual and asexual.. on that it's obvious why it got a strong number of voters and why it got a very high percentage

possibly by doing so within an hour of a new fora being created it looks more like a petulant child screaming someone has got one so why can't i have one...rather than as happened with the grey forum.. a well thoughtout,discussed and presented case to consider

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Guest member25959   
Guest member25959

I forgot to mention this.....but, perhaps instead of creating a new standalone sub/forum for Aromantics, we just create an aromantic subforum within the Relationships forum.

However, in this case, I'd say that the Relationships forum would need some restructuring a.k.a. messing about withthe forum title, changing it to ''Romantic discussion'' (?) so that it encompasses more than just relationship discussion.

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Kisa the Cat   
Kisa the Cat

I happen to be a grey-romantic grey-a and I'm against this idea because the idea of a subforum for aromantics makes it harder for us grey-roms to figure out where to post our issues (like where would the demiromantics go for example).

Also...what threads could go in an aromantic subforum?

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Sock   
Sock

I happen to be in between a grey-romantic grey-a and I'm against this idea because the idea of a subforum for aromantics makes it harder for us grey-roms to figure out where to post our issues (like where would the demiromantics go for example).

Also...what threads could go in an aromantic subforum?

Discussions of queerplatonic relationships, aromantic venting, "am I aromantic"... plenty of things, really.

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Guest member25959   
Guest member25959

I happen to be in between a grey-romantic grey-a and I'm against this idea because the idea of a subforum for aromantics makes it harder for us grey-roms to figure out where to post our issues (like where would the demiromantics go for example).

Also...what threads could go in an aromantic subforum?

Like I said in my previous post, we could restructure the Relationships forum so that it encompasses more that just relationship discussion, i.e. if it were to be renamed ''Romantic discussion'', it could include threads discussing [insert category]romanticism.

But even in such a case, I'd still say that aromantic would need a subforum within that forum.

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Sock   
Sock

I don't know if I agree with the aromantic forum being a subforum of the Relationships forum, since... aromanticism really isn't about relationships. Actually, it's pretty much about the opposite.

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Guest member25959   
Guest member25959

I don't know if I agree with the aromantic forum being a subforum of the Relationships forum, since... aromanticism really isn't about relationships. Actually, it's pretty much about the opposite.

Well that's why, as I said, the Relationships forum would require some restructuring, so that it encompasses more than just relationship discussion :P

Anyways, it would help against the clutter of a new, standalone forum.

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`Silver   
`Silver

I have nothing to oppose to the idea. I suppose I don't really know what aromantics would talk about, though...

Perhaps a forum for non-romantics would be somewhat nicer? You know, I was thinking of a space where aromantics and non-romantics could discuss aromantic relationships, platonic relationships and such. Depends on whether they feel they need a place to do so or not. I would personally be interested in knowing more about said relationships (from an academic point of view), but I'm interested in everything basically, so perhaps that doesn't count.

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