crazysally Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I first thought I was aromantic because I didn’t like long contact with people. I just felt uncomfortable. My best friend thought it was her role to get me used to them by giving me longer hugs or holding for awhile, just to get people staring :lol: or to comfort me. It seems after I got used to long embraces, I got …. That urge. The urge to cuddle. They are random little buggers that come now and then. I’m sure I had them before this, but less frequent and noticeable. The worst one I had was going to bed over at a sleepover. Though I was good friends with them, It would be too awkward to ask to cuddle with them. I don’t think the cuddle would be nice with the awkwardness. I tried hugging a pillow but that doesn’t work. Sometimes the feeling is like an itch you can’t scratch. It feels a bit uncomfortable. I also have urges to embrace my friends in a long hug. Probably because I don’t see them often and wish I could get out of my house to socialize more. Has anyone else have this urge? How do you deal with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Heartilly Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Heh, before I moved in with my SO, I used to hug plushies every night. I have like eight of them in my bed. :lol: They work better than pillows because (depending which ones you get) the shape of them and the stuffing is spread out more for hugging than for sleeping on. It's so funny that we still get urges just like sexuals . . . except they're just to cuddle. :P Link to post Share on other sites
.diva plavalaguna. Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I didn't know that such urges existed...are they separate from just wanting to cuddle? O: So I don't think I have ever felt that... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I have have it. What do I do? Nothing Link to post Share on other sites
alisonlynn Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Oh yes, this happens to me all the time! Hugging a pillow usually works, though. I have this awesome body pillow, it's just the right size for cuddling. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I used to feel very awkward about hugging people, and I still am for most of them. I only came to love and want cuddles from the person who loved me. My heart kept skipping beats the first times, but I eventually got used to it, as with many other forms of contact. I still don't get the urge to hug anyone else and I also prefer not to (although I don't turn down people's hugs since I know they like them). Holding pillows and plushies was never my thing either, but... I feel quite empty inside, because I really miss my special someone's cuddles. A lot. Link to post Share on other sites
crazysally Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Yeah, My group of friends are very huggy people so I've grown up to hug friends all the time. I'm proabily just lonely becuase I'm stuck in my house or working most of the time. I have to take care of my dad on my days off, which is a bit stressful. I do wish I had someone to be there for me on those stressful days. Maybe soemday. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
abea Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I love casual cuddling, but I've always been somewhat uncomfortable with super long hugs - just not sure what to do after the first minute or so!! :P I like mostly just being close to someone, like sitting on the couch snuggling, or knowing I can grab their hand, or touch their arm. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Paige Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I do feel like hugging/cuddling often. So I do. My friends are used to my hugging and arm-holding and at sleepovers my friend and I usually share a bed so it happens anyway. Everyone is pretty coo' with it. I've always been affectionate so they don't feel awkward. I suppose if you start giving more frequent hugs and go from there you could fulfill you cuddling needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Ria =) Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Two words: Stuffed animals. They are amazing hug receivers. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 On an unrelated note....there are too many (crazy) Sally's here. To digress slightly... maybe if another Sally joins AVEN, we can codename her "Ki-21"? (The allied codename for the Mitsubishi Ki-21 aircraft was "Sally"... she was a hot-tempered lass, tended to blow up when hit.) http://pwencycl.kgbudge.com/K/i/Ki-21_Sally.htm Link to post Share on other sites
Cirdan Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yep I get urge to cuddle (and I'm in relationship and we live together - she's just not as much into it as me). Just have to make do with pillows! Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 ya i get that urge Link to post Share on other sites
test account Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Old post. Link to post Share on other sites
kitrhap Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 All the time. I have blankets and a lion plushie for this such reason. Link to post Share on other sites
NamTar Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I don't like hugging people. I mean, I don't hate it but would never initiate. I'll hug relatives if they are coming at me with intent to hug, though. I hug my dog. I have stuffed animals. I don't really desire physical contact with people. my dog, the other hand, is damned cute and soft and fuzzy. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I get cuddle urges all the time, especially when the weather is colder or it's a rainy day. There is nothing like a good cuddle session on a cold and rainy day. =3 Having major cuddle urges right now. >.< Sometimes I wish I was in a relationship solely for the cuddles. Link to post Share on other sites
Sasan-Gir Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I love being on the couch with someone that can fit perfectly under my arm, and I can rest my head on hers, feet propped up on an ottoman... le sigh... I need to get out more. :P It's worse when I'm drunk lol, I could never make a 'booty call', in the parlance of our times, but I could see myself calling someone to cuddle lol. Link to post Share on other sites
lefty Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I'm frequently cuddle-hungry or embrace-horny. It feels so good, all warm and fuzzy :D I think I almost know what it's like to be a sexual. They see someone and think "Ooh I wanna sex that random person." But for me it's like, "Ooh I'd totally spoon them." And then I also get urges to want to spoon/hug/cuddle/whatever with various friends of mine. I'm a biromantic male and it's frustrating how the social norm says that it's ok for women to be just friends and still do those mildly romantic things, but if men were to do that, they'd instantly be labeled gay and hot for each other :/ Link to post Share on other sites
eamonn Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I hug people all the time. It's the way I tend to greet my friends. Though if they seem uncomfortable with it (or I sense they find it emasculating) I'd just shake their hand. Hugs are great. Spooning is one of the most wonderful things in the world; cuddling is always best done in a bed. And after sex it's awesome. The worst is when you're in bed at night, far away from your SO, and you feel that physical urge to touch them. Link to post Share on other sites
LimeTreeArbour Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I don't think this is anything to do with sexuality apart from certain circumstances. I think some of us like intimacy up to the point of foreplay or intercourse whereas for others a dislike of intimacy is a big factor in their asexuality. I guess the psychologists would tell us it's all about how much or how little we got as children. I personally see myself as liking the idea of intimacy and physical touch but I would only reserve it for a genuine exchange of love, I generally hate people invading my personal space and when someone touches me I feel quite sensitive to it and if I didn't like it, it sort of makes my skin crawl. Link to post Share on other sites
my_name_is_coco Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I'm very touchy feely to my friends,and I love giving them hugs and comforting hand holds.I express my love and care to my friends by giving them hugs and hand holds.I would love to be in a relationship full of cuddles,sweet and soothing caresses, and happy hand holds. Link to post Share on other sites
NigelFt Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 The worst is when you're in bed at night, far away from your SO, and you feel that physical urge to touch them. I can certainly vouch for just how painful that can be ... Link to post Share on other sites
Shinnok Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 The worst is when you're in bed at night, far away from your SO, and you feel that physical urge to touch them. I can certainly vouch for just how painful that can be ... Me too.. Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 The worst is when you're in bed at night, far away from your SO, and you feel that physical urge to touch them. I can certainly vouch for just how painful that can be ... Me too.. me three Link to post Share on other sites
Woodleaf Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Occasionally I get that feeling when I spend the night with one of my closest friends, because she's a huggy person herself. I feel like I would immensely enjoy cuddling, not in a romantic way but just sort of...well, cuddly. I think my friends would be convinced I'm lesbian if I tried though, considering they're all heterosexuals, and I'm an undefined gray-a. :P Link to post Share on other sites
faithmalay Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I totally know what you're talking about :) I never want to go farther than hugging but I love the warmth another person gives you :) Link to post Share on other sites
Noop Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I have this, but only in the context of hugging a partner or something like that. I feel rather uncomfortable hugging people who I have no romantic or familial attachment to. Link to post Share on other sites
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