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How 'normal' (or not normal) is crossdressing?


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#1 HavenHamilton

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 04:07 AM

I do it. I love it. But only in my own house, behind closed doors; my family would think I need my head checked if I wore dresses out.
So in terms of the general population, I wonder how many do. It's fairly ridiculous to take survey of such things. I know lotsa famous people who did it. I suspect a lot more people crossdress than make it manifest to the public. I always think of people like Ted Haggard who are so vehemently anti-gay, and then get busted with some male prostitute. If they do that despite going on record as being so against it, then they could easily be practicing transvestism too. I know for sure there's a lot of crossdressers out there that wouldn't own up to it for one reason or another whether it's fear of disdain from the religious community or being thought of as less of a man. I'm thankful my schoolfriends support it. I always went to the bar in dresses.
And how many AVENites actually do it and will own up to it and love it? I am curious.
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#2 Sennkestra

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 04:24 AM

I do it. I love it. But only in my own house, behind closed doors; my family would think I need my head checked if I wore dresses out.
So in terms of the general population, I wonder how many do. It's fairly ridiculous to take survey of such things. I know lotsa famous people who did it. I suspect a lot more people crossdress than make it manifest to the public. I always think of people like Ted Haggard who are so vehemently anti-gay, and then get busted with some male prostitute. If they do that despite going on record as being so against it, then they could easily be practicing transvestism too. I know for sure there's a lot of crossdressers out there that wouldn't own up to it for one reason or another whether it's fear of disdain from the religious community or being thought of as less of a man. I'm thankful my schoolfriends support it. I always went to the bar in dresses.
And how many AVENites actually do it and will own up to it and love it? I am curious.



I crossdress and I totally own up to it.

But then, I'm female and so cross-dressing is a lot more socially acceptable for me. And since there aren't many specifically male-gendered garments I probably just look like a girl with clothes that don't quite fit.

#3 Member33070

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 04:25 AM

x

#4 HavenHamilton

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 04:36 AM


I do it. I love it. But only in my own house, behind closed doors; my family would think I need my head checked if I wore dresses out.
So in terms of the general population, I wonder how many do. It's fairly ridiculous to take survey of such things. I know lotsa famous people who did it. I suspect a lot more people crossdress than make it manifest to the public. I always think of people like Ted Haggard who are so vehemently anti-gay, and then get busted with some male prostitute. If they do that despite going on record as being so against it, then they could easily be practicing transvestism too. I know for sure there's a lot of crossdressers out there that wouldn't own up to it for one reason or another whether it's fear of disdain from the religious community or being thought of as less of a man. I'm thankful my schoolfriends support it. I always went to the bar in dresses.
And how many AVENites actually do it and will own up to it and love it? I am curious.



I crossdress and I totally own up to it.

But then, I'm female and so cross-dressing is a lot more socially acceptable for me. And since there aren't many specifically male-gendered garments I probably just look like a girl with clothes that don't quite fit.


Oh yeah, girls can do that and the guys can't.
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#5 Moon Thief

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 05:23 AM

I tend to wear a lot of unisex clothing, I don't know if that counts as cross-dressing though.

I think that cross-dressing should be more accepting with society. Especially when it comes to males who do it. I never understand how it's mainly okay for females to do it, but frowned upon when men do. It just doesn't make sense to me.

#6 Sennkestra

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 05:48 AM

I think that cross-dressing should be more accepting with society. Especially when it comes to males who do it. I never understand how it's mainly okay for females to do it, but frowned upon when men do. It just doesn't make sense to me.


I think one of the reasons is because of the feminist movement, which struck down a lot of barriers around traditional "male-only" things, whether voting or jobs or clothing, so that they became acceptable for women too. However, there's never been any real cohesive movement to accept men in traditionally female areas.

But I think another part is from the historical idea of masculinity being more "ideal" than femininity, so that a woman aspiring to be more like a man would be raising her position (and thus a positive, empowering, acceptable change), while a man trying to be like a "lesser" woman would be "lowering" himself (a negative, degrading, unacceptable change). Which is total b.s., but some people still seem to think that way. <_<

#7 `Silver

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 09:00 AM

Agreed with Cleander. There are most likely social reasons and historical explanations for the fact female crossdressing isn't thought of as crossdressing at all, most of the time, while male crossdressing is. Nowadays it's quite hard to say someone is actually crossdressing, providing it's a female, since everyone is more or less used to different kinds of female clothing; so those who, like me, don't wear skirts or make-up are seen as unconventional, strange, tomboys at worst, but not crossdressers.
For males it's different. A man wearing a skirt will always be ridiculed by most of the population.
I think it's about sexual roles as well. Men are far more often expected to prove their sexual prowess and dressing as a female is seen as strange for that purpose. There's always the old macho stereotype, remember that...

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#8 Rean

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 05:43 PM

I realised in upper secondary that I'd actually been crossdressing all through higher comprehensive, but no one ever accused me of it since apparently that's what you expect of a tomboy. As I now identify as androgynous, I have no idea what clothes I should consider crossdressing.

As to whether or not it is normal to crossdress, the question and the debate amuse me to no end. I mean, how "normal" is it to dress at all? I realise that "normal" and "natural" often have nothing to do with each other, but I can't help but associate them in this context. Since humanity has invented both clothing and the accompanying gender norms, debating whether or not man should wear a miniskirt seems hilarious to me.
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#9 Raccoonwolf

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 10:20 PM

I don't think crossdressing will keep existing forever. After all, clothes aren't necessarily gendered things. ...Even if it's a pity if it loses the shine it has now ;A;/
I have, by some definitions, been crossdressing for a few years too. But when I dress in men's clothes I just feel comfortable and like myself, a lot more than when wearing a skirt and makeup. Even when binding, I don't feel like I'm pretending to be something I'm not, but rather just showing a different style for me. And then my clothes fit better XD
I may start binding on normal days from time to time when I get my own net bank account and can order a real binder. Not really as "crossdressing", but rather because I like having a flat chest. ^^
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#10 HavenHamilton

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Posted 24 July 2011 - 12:26 AM

I have, by some definitions, been crossdressing for a few years too. But when I dress in men's clothes.

That is EXACTLY how I feel about dresses. Awesome!
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#11 bristrek

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Posted 24 July 2011 - 01:11 AM

Occasionally my dad calls me a female transvestite. I went to a job interview in a suit and tie which is a bit beyond what is usually seen as normal cross dressing for girls. If I could get one of my body size and if I had the money I'd so have a few three piece suits.

But then, that's socially acceptable if a bit odd for girls.


Guys.... it shouldn't be odd but it is still seen as such. I think Eddie Izzard has done a lot to help increase acceptance of it over here even if it's still no where near as high as it should be.

Are more aces cross dressers than the average population? Don't know. It could be that we're just a sort of community that is more accepting of diversity in how we express our gender be we cis or trans*, so people feel able to be open about it more. Or it we could have more cross dressers which is possible, we do seem to have a higher percentage of trans* and non-heteroromantics than the outside population too.

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#12 Glitter Spock

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Posted 30 July 2011 - 07:09 AM

If I had skirts, I would wear them all the time. I love pleated skirts.

But I don't want to do so until I pass as male all the time and can be perceived (accurately) as a boy in a skirt, rather than (incorrectly) as a girl in a skirt.

I have a book that I got at a used bookstore that is a fashion photography book of men in skirts. I brought it to a yada meetup at the beginning of the month. :D

#13 unidentified username

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Posted 30 July 2011 - 09:59 AM

:wub: I LOVE IT! :wub: but acknowledge that society does not view it/me as normal. :(

#14 tomgeekery

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Posted 30 July 2011 - 10:52 PM

Well, I'll freely admit that my wardrobe contains a mix of clothes originally intended for men or women. Whatever, they're all mens clothes now and I don't consider myself a crossdresser.

#15 daveb

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Posted 31 July 2011 - 12:47 AM

I think one of the reasons is because of the feminist movement, which struck down a lot of barriers around traditional "male-only" things, whether voting or jobs or clothing, so that they became acceptable for women too. However, there's never been any real cohesive movement to accept men in traditionally female areas.

But I think another part is from the historical idea of masculinity being more "ideal" than femininity, so that a woman aspiring to be more like a man would be raising her position (and thus a positive, empowering, acceptable change), while a man trying to be like a "lesser" woman would be "lowering" himself (a negative, degrading, unacceptable change). Which is total b.s., but some people still seem to think that way. <_<

I agree. Men will have an easier time of it when woman are truly considered equal.

I do wear clothes from the women's department around the house. But they're my clothes now so, like tomgeekery said, that makes them man's clothes. :P
If men could wear clothes like skirts and dresses and have it seem as normal as women wearing trousers, jeans and t-shirts, or suits, then I would wear them outside my house some of the time, too. But being a shy introvert with attention avoidance I will only wear these items in places where it's accepted. At least I'm learning to accept myself and know that some people accept me, too. My own preference would be to dress however I want at any given time, from guy style t-shirt and jeans, to full-on drag to anything any between, like a t-shirt and skirt. Basically, just to be me.

Like the "gender roles are silly" thread I believe gender-designated clothing, as well as other adornments and ways of presenting oneself, such as jewelry and makeup and hair styles, are arbitrary and silly, too.

It may be the type of people who participate on internet forums like this one are more prone to go beyond the boundaries of society's dictates (or possibly just more prone to own up to it and accept it)? Or maybe just those of us who participate in threads like this.
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#16 AnonymousJedi

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 04:33 AM

I'd say it is pretty normal. But that's my opinion, the larger majority of society disagrees on it-especially for men. Females tend to "get away with it" a lot easier than guys. Personally I think it should be acceptable for anyone, but I know it is going to be a long while before that happens.

I wear a lot of mens clothes, particularly shirts, but I wouldn't really consider it crossdressing. It is more of a androgynous look I guess. I guess sometimes I toe the line, because my family has pointed it out before a few times. They haven't done it in a while, I think they've come to terms that I will dress how I want.

#17 Ellii

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 01:51 AM

i crossplay & prefer dressing androgynously... I personally think men look great in womens clothes, and I anxiously await they day it is socially acceptable. part of me wanting to be a designer comes from a desire to make clothing less exclusive.

oh and to me nothing is gayer than homophobia. I can't tell you how many homosexuals on YouTube say they've gone through homophobic phases before coming out. What's the saying? me thinks the lady doth protest to much...?
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#18 sevenseas

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 05:13 AM

I crossdress and I totally own up to it.

But then, I'm female and so cross-dressing is a lot more socially acceptable for me. And since there aren't many specifically male-gendered garments I probably just look like a girl with clothes that don't quite fit.


Exactly. If I show up in baggy jeans, a T-shirt, and trainers, no one bats an eye, but I'm pretty sure if a guy showed up in a dress, it'd be a different story.
I just wear whatever's comfortable and practical. I think looser dresses are more comfortable than pants/shirt or skirts, so I wear dresses to formal occassions. Other than that, androgynous/male clothing. With a disregard to fashion most of the time.

#19 the Lady Ashuko

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 05:17 AM

I could never *fit* in mens clothes. I barely fit in womens and have to get "essentials" in little girls department. Before I grew out my hair, I frequently was mistaken for a boy--even while wearing bra, skirt and make up. Caused my then then-boyfriend to get an intervention once, which was hil-arious.

I have at various times of my life: in too large and unisex clothing, to well fitting goth, punk and aristocrat, and now I've gone all feminine! Everyone else saw it as a natural progression (I guess they all saw my inner femininity) but I one day realised, "Wait, lace? And ruffles?!? When did this happen?" XD I joke.

I've known crossdressers of both genders (and who were very very public with it) so I don't see it as all that strange.
Wearing dresses doesn't make me a girl any more than wearing a tux would make me a boy.

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#20 mad_scientist

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 06:19 AM

I tend to wear male clothing and happily admit to being a crossdresser, although for me it's more practicality than anything. Male clothing is more comfortable, less fiddly and usually more durable. That's why I like it.

don't take this the wrong way, but reading your post kind of makes me want to punch you in face.


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#21 Beta

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 07:25 AM

Normality is based upon your definition of the word, if you assumed flying pink monkeys was normal it would seem no different to you, but others would find it odd. Cross-dressing is only not normal in the sense that it is not a social phenomena that a majority of people experience on a daily basis.

#22 Pastlea7x

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 02:38 PM

I've pretty much been crossdressing since i was 10 not out in public until much more recently (outed myself to the world as Transgender about a year ago :D) but it irritates me how ill-informed people are about it >.< they instinctively think "oh he's doing that for some sort of sexual kick" which is totally the opposite >.< I've wished i was female since a very early age AND even after i explained to my mum, as totally fine with it as she was, she seemed to think that was the case >.< but now everybody is pretty much cool and welcoming about it :3 if only the world was either more open, or just plain genderless (or at least if both genders were truly 100% equal) xD then people could REALLY be exactly who they want to be with nothing anybody could complain about, but alas theres always the "I don't think that's appropriate, what if there are children around" people, which make me laugh, because children see women walking around in next to nothing every day of the week, so why do you complain, when i'm being more modest than them? xD but hey ho eh? can't win them all xD
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#23 never odd or even

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 11:22 PM

paddy, you make a very good point!

hmmm... i wouldnt call myself a cross dresser per se... but i do wear mens clothing a lot... and LOVE mens shorts and shirts... i wear womens clothes too, i'm unfortunately short, which the mens section doesnt cover well...
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#24 Pastlea7x

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Posted 13 August 2011 - 02:22 AM

Thanks very much beth ^^ even though part of that, was technically your point about the world being genderless, which is in itself an awesome pont :3 sorry if i'm stating the obvious or anything, but have you tried online maybe? surely there'll be better selections somewhere that could be perfect for you? :3 =D i know you won't be able to get a feel for them and stuff, but if they're crap usually they have free return postage ^^
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#25 iff

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Posted 13 August 2011 - 10:10 AM

clothes are genderless. the constructs behind genderising clothes is purely artificial but it's been drilled into us from an early age that certain clothes are for males and certain clothes are for females. clothes are inanimate objects.

as long as you feel comfortable, what's the problem?

However saying that, I don't wear clothes that are associated by our society with females.
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#26 Alizarin

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Posted 13 August 2011 - 01:39 PM

I cross dress at home. Mostly because I feel genderless and I like all clothes.

#27 Wayne Turner

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Posted 22 August 2011 - 01:45 PM

I don`t see why we have to label everything?


I was having this exact same discussion over the weekend with my girlfriend.

It seems that people judge you on who you are, what you do, where you live, and what you are wearing because they have been told what to say, think, and wear by their parents. Who have been told what to say, think, and do by their parents and so on and so on...


I don`t see what all the fuss is about. We are in the 21st century after all and we are all individuals as well. Yet I am still shocked to hear what goes on out there and what I hear on the streets these days. It seems that some people, when I say `some` I mean there are quite a few, who are still closed off to what is happening out there. We all know that the world is changing and that everyday new developments take us forward with leaps and bounds, yet we (and by we I mean "society") is stuck firmly rooted in the past.

We don`t have the normal arrangement anymore of Male and Female, as that whole divide has split and fractured into some many different diversions that I have lost count as to what there is. The same goes with a lot of things these days, so why is it that we are stuck with having to wear clothes made specifically for whichever sex we are?


I have worn and still continue to wear women`s clothing from time to time. This has nothing to do with getting a sexual thrill out of it or anything like that. I am not gay, as the consenus is usually centred around a man who wear`s women`s clothes must be gay? I have heard that and read that so many times, that no one actually bothers to look into this. They just naturally assume that this is the norm, that every guy out they must like other men. I am your typical hetro(a)sexual male who just happens to like wearing women`s clothes.

I like them because they are very comfortable to wear and the choice, compared to men`s is enormous. I also have a female side to my brain which is always working overtime. I am more in touch with my feminine side than most men are. I don`t find it annoying or distracting, as I like being able to see with two perspectives sometimes. Having part of a female brain, doesn`t mean that I am going to change sexes just because I have it. No. It is more to do with emotion than anything else. I am just a little more emotional than my friends, which doesn`t mean that I am going to cry at any given moment.

I just like to crossdress as a means of using it to escape sometimes from the stresses and strains of being a man, in a man`s world. It is a really common thing in most men. Some don`t like to advertise the fact that they do, others (like me) are firmly behind the closet, while the rest are out there making waves so that crossdressing is seen as something for what it is - a harmless activity. Look at Eddie Izzard. Do you think he gives a F**K about what people think? No because he uses it to fuel his presence on stage.



If you look behind 100 closed doors in any random street, in any random town across this here country of ours (or even across the world), you will find that there are a lot of more men than you think doing it.

Granted women have been doing it, crossdressing that is, since the 80s with their power-suits as they had to change their appearance and behaviour to match their male colleagues. This was purely because they wanted to be seen as an equal, and not a woman in a skirt who could only cook or clean. The only way that women in the 80s could get any attention from the male driven workplace was to dress in such a way that it gave the impression that they could do the exact same job as men.

(If you were wondering about that, I have just studied `Gender` for my A210 Approaching Literature module for the OU and it sprung immediately to mind.)



All I am saying is why does society have to stick to these rigid restrictions on what is acceptable and what isn`t?
If I want to wear a dress and a pair of high heels and be all girlie for a day, who says that I can`t?
Women walk around in trousers and I have seen lots of women who look male in appearance, so why is it then that a man cannot dress as a woman?
(These are the kinds of debates that I like, because they are the one`s that I can contribute toward because I have some knowledge of them.)


The way that I look at it, is that:

I`m not doing anything wrong.
I`m not hurting myself.
I`m not hurting anyone.


So what is the problem?
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#28 Ihmisen

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Posted 22 August 2011 - 09:42 PM

I'm not sure what crossdressing for me is. I'm a pre-op transgirl who likes to dress up as a guy at times. I just like the look. I haven't gone out in public yet though because I don't pass well enough to be seen as a girl in guys' clothes rather than a guy in guys' clothes.

#29 Sci-Fi Si

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 01:53 PM

I regard myself as asexual, certainly over the past 6 years I've had no sexual contact with anyone and really have no desire to either, however I also crossdress quite regularly. The thing is I completely pass as a woman when I'm out in heals and a dress - there's absolutely no way you'd know, (until I open my mouth to speek - lol because I have a deep voice).

I'm not so sure just how much of a mental case I am, I do have a psychiatrist and a psychologist and I'm on the funny pills, but although I identify as a man, I feel very much 'at home' when I'm wearing female clothing. I enjoy putting on makeup, it's nice to feel pretty. I also like wearing suits as a man and looking super-smart and turning heads.

I love my job as a Magician and also being on the am-dram stage singing in musicals, but then I live alone. I have no TV, and mostly at home I live in absolute silence.

However I still feel as though I'm missing something, I just don't think I know how to share my life with someone else, especially if there's no sex involved.

#30 Great Thief Yatagarasu

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 09:04 PM

I really, REALLY want there to be a social change so men can go out wearing skirts, because men tend to have AWESOME legs. :D I'm being serious, they should totally be allowed to do that.
"I think for the most part I feel asexual, which is a kind like you are not completely attracted to either men or women, is in between spaces which is almost as to be bisexual, because you don't have a real choice. I've been with men, of course, but I love women so much (and you can see it on stage) ...and that's what men think: "oh, this is what women do?" that doesn't make me a lesbian, it's just what happened. But at the same time there's a part that I don't like, and is to don't be on only one side, because it makes me confused. And often I watch all from the outside, and I watch all as it is fine, and I respect it." - Emilie Autumn

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Demisexual poly-queer-genderqueer. Yep. Really.




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