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Any asexuals like me, over 60?


biromanticseniorgal

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Welcome kazbe - the :cake: doesn't taste like :cake: if you don't want it to :) . Great to have you here...rummage around the rest of the Oldies site. We're a really friendly bunch :lol:

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I am 69 and after a lifetime of trying to be normal I finally accepter myself  10 years ago when I openly admitted that I had no interest in sex at all.  At my wife's insistence we had one last session after which we covered up and never touched other again.  I am totally content and sexless. I told my wife I would understand if she need to find a man for sex. She has done that and we are all friends. We remain close and loving just not at all sexual. 

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Raises hand...Hi, I'm 61. And happy to be here 💋

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SissyFrankie and Spiritus55 welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 :cake::cake:

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have reached age of 60 to realise that my orientation although lesbian is also ace

it explains so much to me the pickles I have got into when engaging in sexual relationships when what I really wanted was 'hanging out 'gentle non sexual connections 

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On 1/25/2017 at 12:01 AM, Pierresplace said:

Thanks but isn't asexual, not sexual?

Yes, the word a-sexual means not-sexual, and has been in use as such at least since 1896. It is also used by Catholics to refer to celibate priests (because for them not-married equates to not having sex). Celibate means 'not-married' but on Aven (confusingly) it means 'no-sex out of choice'. And, for some people asexual simply refers to a person that's never having sex for whatever reason.

 

Here on Aven it has an alternative meaning. On Aven it means 'the sexual orientation of people who do not experience sexual attraction':

- so that excludes some people who never have sex (celibates)

- https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/170589-the-general-label-problems/?do=findComment&comment=1062803287 but some some people include some people who are having sex (cupiosexuals) anyway.

 

 

And, contradicting the Aven definition, it also includes some people that do experience sexual attraction albeit:

- only after forming a strong emotional connection (demi)

- only rarely (gray)

- have a low sex drive (confusingly also called gray)

- for a fetish only.

 

The meaning of words can change over time, and words can have different meanings in different contexts.

 

Welcome to the forum Pierresplace :cake: :cake: :cake:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Nice explaining. I thought I had heard all the different categories, but a cupiosexual is new to me.

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On 2/8/2017 at 3:49 PM, jay williams said:

Nice explaining. I thought I had heard all the different categories, but a cupiosexual is new to me.

Thank you 😊 . You can Google it. Opinion is divided (e.g. see no.18 in Skullery Maid's topic https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/150470-the-one-in-which-skullery-gets-banned/?do=findComment&comment=1062069162

 

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I've been a member of AVEN since my mid-50s, but I thought I should post here at least once, since I turned 60 last October. I don't spend as much time on AVEN as many others do, but I'm very glad for the Older section's existence. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just joined and I am 64.So happy to find "my people". I have not come out yet to anyone I know, so having this happy place is wonderful.  I hope someday to find someone in my area that is like me and would understand. I have always had a best friend, sometimes male, sometimes female and my last best friend passed away two years ago.  Thank you everyone for being here and for being you.

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On 01/03/2017 at 4:19 AM, lakegirl said:

I just joined and I am 64.So happy to find "my people"...

Welcome lakegirl :cake: :cake: :cake: and enjoy 😊.

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jay williams

Lakegirl, welcome. There is no need or reason to "come out."  An advantage of being older is that you can simply say that you have outgrown sex...that it does nothing for you anymore. Nobody needs to know if there were ever a time when sex was important to you.

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Welcome lakegirl - I was 68 last week. Never felt the need to 'come out' but maybe that's just me. Hope you enjoy it here...oh and have some welcome  :cake::cake::cake::cake::D 

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jay williams
19 hours ago, Tanwen said:

Welcome lakegirl - I was 68 last week. Never felt the need to 'come out' but maybe that's just me. Hope you enjoy it here...oh and have some welcome  :cake::cake::cake::cake::D 

Yes, welcome Lakegirl. I never felt any need to come out to others either. Probably, the most important thing is to "come out" to self...to know and understand how liberating it can be to realize that a sexual relationship is soooo unnecessary. It sounds like you are getting there. :-)

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  • 1 month later...

Mainly because a lot of people either side of the 50s post in that forum 

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BobRossRules

Too bad the 2 aren't merged.  The 40s thread is similar, not very active.  The 50's is really a general oldies chat thread the includes a wide range of older folks.  Too bad the name doesn't reflect that.  I think more people would post.  I was hesitant to post given that I'm not 50 yet, but I've made some great friends regardless.:D  

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Yeah, I'm still over 50 and not yet over 60. :P (although I expect to stay active in the 50s thread even when I am past 60)

 

I guess originally people were thinking each decade might have different concerns or something?

I'm not sure why the 50s thread has taken off more than the others, but we've never stood on ceremony. Anyone is welcome and IDs are not checked. Would it make more sense, like @faraday☘ says, to merge any of these age threads? Or would the merged one become a bit unwieldy?

 

Another idea, I wonder if it would make sense to create a new version and archive the old one each year, like we do for some other popular threads? The photos one, for example; but that one may get unwieldy quicker with all of the photos. But we also do it for some of the just for fun/arcade threads, like the Jeopardy one. Or is it better to keep the whole thread, with its history, all in one piece? Just some thoughts that may not be worth bothering with. :)

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13 hours ago, daveb said:

...each decade might have different concerns or something?

Yes, I (64) do think that and I like the separate over 60 thread.

 

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...I'm not sure why the 50s thread has taken off more than the others,

I think that is partly because you are active on it, adding a lot of warmth and friendliness.

 

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...Anyone is welcome and IDs are not checked...

I wholeheartedly agree with that.😊 And yes,  @faraday☘ it would be a good idea for the thread names to reflect that.

 

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...I wonder if it would make sense to create a new version and archive the old one each year...

Yes, I love that idea. Some newbies (as I did) respond to posts on the first page - some of those people are long gone and I found that a bit off putting. 

 

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...is it better to keep the whole thread, with its history, all in one piece?...

No, I don't think so. For me, I feel that too much history undermines my cosy feeling of being here and now in a little community.

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Hi All, I'm new to AVEN and interested in how older asexuals deal with their asexuality, health and social situations. I am three months younger than Meryl Streep and Elizabeth Warren (they share a birthday) and six days older than Bruce Springsteen. While that stat is meaningless, I find it funny. So that makes me 67. Unlike the aforementioned three, I am disabled. While I enjoy living alone, I do enjoy the company of others, albeit limited. I do enjoy talking with intelligent people and dislike talking with fools. I enjoy gardening and gardening workshops, cooking, movies, books, chatting on the Internet, and my two cats. I feel comfortable going out by myself, be it a movie, a workshop, a trip to the park, a trip to the museum. I feel comfortable traveling by myself. For the most part, I am comfortable with my life. However, in light of my disabilities, I m concerned about what will happen and to whom or what I can turn as my health declines. If anyone has any ideas on this matter, I would appreciate knowing about them. Thanks! (I apologize if this comes out a response to someone else's post)

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On 21/04/2017 at 3:05 AM, only68 said:

...While I enjoy living alone, I do enjoy the company of others, albeit limited...

Welcome only68, that sounds like me. :D

 

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... I m concerned about what will happen and to whom or what I can turn as my health declines...

Yes, this is a natural concern of course.

 

In my case, I don't like strangers touching me. So my plan is to just die without help, like a wild animal that retreats to a bush and just waits to die and bears the pain. Also, I will ask the GP for morphine.

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8 hours ago, only68 said:

However, in light of my disabilities, I m concerned about what will happen and to whom or what I can turn as my health declines. If anyone has any ideas on this matter, I would appreciate knowing about them.

Yes, this is a difficulty, and one many people experience--because sometimes, even if one has family members, they are not available (or want) to help. I am dealing with this with an elderly (almost 90) friend. She has never been married or had children, so she doesn't have any family members to ask. I have been tapped to be her power of attorney and executor on her will. I have been helping her with transportation as much as I can, but I am still working and can't be doing it all the time. I am now trying to get drivers and in-home care arranged. The care at this point will just be for a couple of hours two or three times a week, doing housework and meal preparation; she doesn't need help with bathing or dressing. But I wonder what will happen to me, too, when I need help--I joke that my son will probably stick me in a tent in his backyard!

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