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Any asexuals like me, over 60?


biromanticseniorgal

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9 hours ago, chandrakirti said:

Haha! Never heard anyone so happy to see rain! Have some of ours while you're at it, I'm thinking I may as well be back in Scotland for all the vitamin d I accrued this year,,,,:D

But they are promising an Indian summer this year - will probably be as accurate as the '7 weeks unbroken sunshine' or the 'coldest winter on record', but we can hope :lol: 

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^^I think the closest we'll get to an Indian summer is a monsoon season without the heat 

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I'm 22 but I love that aces 60+ are saying "here we are!". It's so important to address this at every age. Much love to you all ♥

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On 9/13/2017 at 5:48 PM, chandrakirti said:

Geez @MelMart, I wish I was over 60! I'd get a free bus pass!:lol:

Not necessarily - at least in my local authority it's pension age so I still have to wait several years

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No, I'm only 52. Sorry. :(

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58 minutes ago, chandrakirti said:

They keep moving the goal posts!

Yeah if they'd left alone I'd have retired by now. Still another 6 years to go. I do get free prescriptions though - presumably to keep me healthy enough to keep working!

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This is exactly what I am looking for. This is also my very first time in Aven.

I didn't have the nerve to sign in a couple years ago, have known I was asexual all my life, never knew what to call it.

I have no idea how this site works, I'm not digitally savvy.  Hope to fine others like myself to keep in touch with.  Most of my life, didn't fit anywhere.  Hugs, p-nutzzz.

ps...I'm 73

 

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@p-nutzzz welcome to AVEN :cake::cake:

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6 hours ago, p-nutzzz said:

have known I was asexual all my life, never knew what to call it.

 

True for many older asexuals!   :cake:

 

 

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There are many of us.   No doubt many older asexuals out in the world don't know the word yet, so they wouldn't call themselves asexual.  But they know how they feel, and don't feel.

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On 9/22/2017 at 6:20 PM, chandrakirti said:

Welcome @p-nutzzz! It's never too late! Hope you enjoy your time here!:cake:

Thank you, having a very difficult time knowing how to respond if I want to, or how things work in here.  I see you sent this the 22nd, just now found it.  

 

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On 9/23/2017 at 3:05 AM, Sally said:

There are many of us.   No doubt many older asexuals out in the world don't know the word yet, so they wouldn't call themselves asexual.  But they know how they feel, and don't feel.

So, so true Sally.

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On 15/09/2017 at 6:44 AM, chandrakirti said:

They keep moving the goal posts!

Same down here. Once it was 65 - now I have to wait until 66 years and 6 months to get a bus pass, Seniors Card etc. Meanwhile I can join all other types of Seniors' organisations and get cheaper house insurance from the corporate sector etc, just can't get the government sanctioned 'official' status and all the good stuff that goes with such as cheaper prescriptions and the bus pass.

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On 7/9/2011 at 6:02 PM, biromanticseniorgal said:

Okie, dokie. Thanks Tanwen for the nice welcome here and on the "Welcome" forum. Very nice to have found this place. Take care everyone.

 

On 8/15/2011 at 7:19 PM, biromanticseniorgal said:

I'm so glad you posted Aloren. I'm very new to AVEN but am finding much less of a generation gap here than there sometimes seems to be in the general sexual population. I've been out as asexual for a long time but never felt the need or desire for online social networking until I retired recently. I'm so happy to have found this site where I can be myself on several different forums regardless of apparent ages of many of the posters. I had thought, at first, I may not be able to relate to younger people as regards my asexuality but am thrilled to be learning that is rarely the case.

Being a recovering addict/alcoholic, I'm also a long-time AA gal and feel fortunate when I have an opportunity to offer "experience, strength and hope" for those particular issues on other sites; but, I'm so hoping I can make some sort of meaningful contribution here on AVEN participating in discussions on asexuality while, of course, continuing to increase my own knowledge and understanding - a perennial student that's me. I hope you'll feel as welcomed here as I have and never feel that you're "intruding" on the "older" forums. I'm quite certain I don't speak only for myself when I say, you are definitely welcome here. Please feel free to PM me (still getting used to this lingo) - you know, write me, friend me, etc. I think I posted on one of the forums that my emotional growth probably ceased sometime in my 20s so talking to someone in her (or his, their) 20s wouldn't really be so bizarre, at least not from my perspective. Huge slabs of delicious :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake: for you. Take care.

Hi. I didn't know there was a site like this. I identify as graysexual. I am attracted but have no drive to go further. I want monogamous companionship, support, love, but not sex. I'm 63, retired, and afraid I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I see the posts here are several years old.  I hope you all are still active here.

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On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 8:04 AM, Elderflower said:

Pretty much my situation too. Not wanting sex doesn't mean not wanting romance or male companionship. Where in upstate NY are you (if you feel comfortable saying)?

I'm a male, 70 yrs old and I have the same longing for female companionship. But I'm in Miami, FL and from a totally different background as I was born in Cuba and living here in USA since 1961(I'm a political exile). Distance and the different socioeconomic circumstances and us being only 3 million in the World makes it extremely difficult to find an asexual partner for us. At least now I found this blog and Able to communicate with other people that are like myself if only virtually.

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

@newgirl, sorry to hear that, there may well be a forum for this on the site.Not being too good at exploring, I haven't seen one, but that doesn't mean it's not there. In any case, I hope you get the support.

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Greetings! I just turned 67. At our age there is much less stigma associated with Not Having Sex. It's great! Other people are missing it...I'm like "never had it to begin with".

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TheLastOfSheila
16 hours ago, blue dog said:

Do you think alot of people over 60 still have sex regulary ?

I guess that depends on how you define "regularly"?  Every day?  Once a week?  Once a month?  Only on birthdays, lol?  I would imagine that health factors become more of an issue after age 60 which would affect the amount of sexual activity.  Marital status (e.g., divorced, widowed, single/never married, etc.), as well as gender would also be factors.  I dunno.  I am certainly not a sociologist, physician or scientist, so my reply may be wildly inaccurate.

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I'm 63 and  fairly happy: This is my story:

Jack -  story of an asexual/agender confused individual.

 

I have read a lot of stories on AVEN, and they have helped me. So I thought it was time to share my story..

Born in 1954 to a lovely but sickly woman, apparently a normal male child who grew up in a loving religious family. Seemed normal although I suspect I was a little effeminate even a t a tender young age.  When I was 8-9 yrs. old a predator broke in through my bedroom window, molested me  Only for about 5-10 minutes – kissing and fondling _ no penetration. I suspect he was actually looking for my sisters bedroom (teenage sister). When he left my bed I (even though totally petrified) alerted my parents and he escaped though the front door.

My parents didn’t want to talk about it saying it was just a drunk who got the wrong house. BULLSHIT but at the time (early 1960’ sexual predators didn’t get much press. This affected me greatly; I have never enjoyed kissing or sexual intercourse. I will never know if that event or a predisposition has made me into the Ace I am today.

 

  AS a teen I played sport and acted ‘normal’ , also I used to go to my sisters closet and wear her dresses and silky underwear when no one was home.. it felt great to wear girls clothes. Finally I was caught and my parents sent me to a psychologist who evaluated that I had low esteem and would be ok if I had my teeth fixed (a couple of missing one’s in front from football incidents). Because the subject of sex was totally taboo in my home, I was too afraid to talk candidly about my sexuality or the previous incident of molestation. So I don’t blame the shrink for not getting to the real issue.

  From then on I hid my desire to wear women’s clothing. But it was still there. Graduated High school got a job in banking and continued to pretend normality.

 

  AS a young adult I dated a few lovely girls, but they tended to dump me after a while when they realized I really had no interest in having sex. I had sex a few times but my heart wasn’t in it.  As I got older I formed a lot of friendships with girls. Went cycling, hiking, movies, etc. with a number of different girls at  the same time so none of them thought of me as their boyfriend.. I still use this approach today as it allows me to have semi- intimate contact with the fairer sex, without the need for kissing or sexual intercourse.

 

  Until I was 55, I hadn’t come across the term Asexual, just thought I was weird, and needed to hide that fact from society. Watching TV one morning I saw a discussion on asexuality on a talk show. Immediately I identified with it _ “that’s me”_ Subsequently I researched the term, found AVEN and other Asex sites. It was such a relief (weight of my shoulders) to realize I wasn’t alone,  there are other people similar to me out there.

  After I “came out’ as ACE, I told a few of my friends, some said ‘I know’, so I guess my secret wasn’t that secret after all.   Other people suggested I seek help, see a psychologist. I feel it is too late for that  I am now comfortable as  an Asexual person ( haven’t had sex in over 30 yrs. And don’t miss it)  Still feel a little uncomfortable dressing as a woman, but my neighbors are getting used to my cross-dressing.

 

  Obviously I still have Gender issues, as I don’t feel either 100% male of female. I have a male body, but my mind tends to have both masculine and feminine traits.

All I can say is I am so glad that the   LGBTQ+ community for bringing awareness and considerable acceptance of minority sexual orientations, otherwise I would still be in the closet..  

 

 

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Welcome @jackl4 - I was around 55 when I read an article on asexuality and thought 'that's me' , so I've an idea what you mean.  It's a wonderful, liberating feeling to realise you aren't a freak or broken and no, we don't need 'fixing' :D 

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