Do you like to be touched?

[Cass]

I'm a very tactile person with those I like and care about. I liked holding hands, hugging, cuddling, leaning against people etc BUT it has to be with people that I like. If I don't get a hug in a few hours, I can start to feel really low. But it also kind of depends on what mood I'm in (isn't it for all?). Sometimes I definitely don't want to be touched and will feel smothered and cornered if people persist. But I think that's rather normal. People just need to respect each other's boundaries.

Strangers... well, it depends on my mood, but sometimes when a stranger touch me it makes my skin crawl. I really hate it. It also bothers me when acquintances start randomly hugging me and grabbing hold of me. It takes a while for me to be that comfortable with people. I remember when I switched schools once, there was a girl who would hug me whenever she thought I was sad. It made me freak out after a couple of months, because we never really spoke and I didn't particularly like her (she was kind of a bitch, despite the hugging-whenever-I-looked-sad). Really uncomfortable.

[Deremna]

I put that I like to be touched by friends and family. If I know someone, I like for them to hug me or hold my hand or snuggle with me or whatever. I have a couple friends who are real stiff when I hug them, so that makes it awkward, but I LOVE to be touched, even if it's just leaning on someone or putting my elbow on their shoulder or something ridiculous like that. The only thing I don't like is when people touch my chin or neck area, because that makes me VERY uncomfortable.

And I'm heteroromantic.

My boyfriend has this same problem. He says that he must've been hung in a past life or something since it freaks him out so much.

I also forgot to mention that I need to be expecting the friend or family hug. At work, my back faces the door. There have been times where I have nearly jumped out of my seat because I wasn't expecting a touch on the back or a hug. I also forgot to mention that I LOVE being softly scratched (my mom and grandma used to do it too me to make me sleepy when I was really little so I guess it just makes me feel safe) and I also love having my head massaged/hair played with. My best friend is allowed to do it whenever she wants. It makes me want to curl up into a little ball and fall asleep. I normally say "Mow" like I am a cat when it happens. =^.^=

[henrik]

I hate to touch things and I hate things touching me.

I'm aromantic, but I think it's unrelated to this issue.

[bumbelina]

Yes! (I'm heteroromantic.) But only by certain people (ie, friends, family). There's certain touches I really like, such as someone playing with my hair (except my mom, she always pulls it on accident) and being hugged. I love being squeezed really tight.

[pancakeattack]

Thanks for the replies, guys! Very interesting :)

[Harkins]

I generally don't mind being touched so long as it's a friend or a family member. I'm panromantic, but I don't think that generally plays a role who or where I like to be touched.

The only thing that I can say as a standout out is that there are definite weird places that I don't like to be touched, most notably my ears or I don't like to be hugged when I'm in a certain mood. I feel bad, my dad is a really affectionate guy and I've full on decked him out of some type of fight or flight reaction to forced hugs.

[Chopper]

I've never liked being touched or having physical contact in any way ever since I was a child but I geuss It would be ok if it was a partner but I've never really been with any one so I don't know how I'd really feel about it

[allons-y-alonso]

I love holding hands and cuddling, but only with select people that I know very well.

[ily]

I only like certain kinds of touch. Like hugs. I love hugs! As long as they're proper hugs where you're really squeezing the person. ;) I don't identify with a romantic orientation.

[Member33070]

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[DarkPower]

I don't mind hugs, although I'm not very tactile and prefer it with only people I know. I do have problems with skin contact, though. But I think that's because I have a weird core temperature and am usually very warm, and skin-on-skin is too hot for me, or else feels very clammy. I really don't like holding hands, for instance, but I'm not sure it has much to do with my aromanticism.

[cthuvianace]

I guess I sort of like touch. I only really like it on my own terms.

I love cuddling and hugs and stuff under the right circumstances, but when the circumstances aren't right, I really hate it. All of these are things I kind of need to know they're coming, or it freaks me out. When people hug me from behind, or anything where I couldn't see them coming, it really bothers me. Or if I'm with an SO and we're just sitting on the couch, watching a movie or something, not really in physical contact much, and they just kind of suddenly lay on me or start messing with my hair, it really bothers me. Like, there've been times where it bothers me nearly to the point of tears.

So I guess I'm touch-positive, circumstantially.

And as far as romantic orientation, that's something I've been struggling with lately. I'm currently unsure whether I'm demiromantic or aromantic.

So yeah...

[Rivan Vox]

Well.. this is a pretty difficult topic for me.

I like to be touched, I think. But, it's not just any touch. I don't really enjoy it, when I ask for a hug, or I put my arms around a friend and cuddle them, or whatever.. it's when they offer the touch, or when it means something, that I enjoy it. It's a different feeling.. it's like, it's not so much that touch makes me feel good, but that it intensifies whatever the feeling between me and the other person is. So when my sister hugs me, it always feels good, because it means she's grateful and saying thank-you, and that she loves her little brother (or big brother, in the case of my little sister) and the feeling is different depending on my relationship with a person.

So, I'd say that I like to share touch when I have a positive relationship with the person, and that includes when I have a good first impression.

There's also 'confirmation gestures'. If you're my friend, you hug me, unless you're not the hugging sort. If you don't hug me, and you hug other people, our friendship is over, then and there.

Similarly with cuddles and people who want to be involved with me romantically. You don't cuddle me, then after a few months, we're over.. no matter how much I like you. If you can't provide cuddletimes, then you're not committed to me.

[MoreThanX]

Some days I hate to be touched, other days I don't mind. Once someone at work grabbed my hand when I was having an extreme 'no one touch me' day and it was a struggle not to scrub a layer of skin off. My mum knows to ask if it's an ok day before she hugs me, which is awesome. I also have a thing about certain things touching my skin, which is why I don't wear make up, perfume, or use lotions.

So generally, not too keen on it, but there wasn't an option for that.

[DarkPower]

I also have a thing about certain things touching my skin, which is why I don't wear make up, perfume, or use lotions.

Oh thank goodness. It's not just me.

[VenetianWonder]

I wouldn't really know. I've never been touched. In fact even the slightest touch makes me squirm and even hurts sometimes. My parents aren't really loving... But yes. I would love to be touched.

[graven]

I'm aromantic and I don't like to be touched, however, I think it's a standard fare of communication to give hugs and handshakes so I've gotten used to those.

I'm heteroromantic, but on the subject of being touched - right with you. Barring the very rare person (could be a romantic partner, or a friend, but it's very specific to the individual person), I do not like being touched. I wish I did NOT have to tolerate those 'social' hugs and handshakes. I can and do, but really wish I could avoid them without seeming overly rude to business clients. I hate that some male business clients think it's socially perfectly ok to hug a female upon meeting/arriving/departing, even though there is no more than a friendly business relationship between them. I keep the contact as minimal and short as I can, and it makes me cringe inwardly even though I don't show it outwardly.

As for my friends, most of them can tell after knowing me not too long that I don't really like being touched/hugged. A couple of them insist on doing it anyway, usually with some little joke about how they know how much I 'hate' it but they are going to do it anyway. As if I'm just pretending to be averse, and must actually want it or something, I guess. I really hate this.

As for me touching others - again, barring those rare few people I find that kind of comfort with, I very much don't like this either. If it's an emergency, I put that aside. If I'm helping someone with a task, I can touch in that context, though I don't any more than is needed to give the assistance. I still don't like how it feels, but am willing to put that aside to a degree and tolerate it under certain circumstances, where it's for a purpose like this.

Given those rare people whose touch is pleasant to me, I love it greatly, both to give and receive. But that is so very much the exception for me. Few and far between. It would be nice for that to be less rare, but... it's just the way it is for me.

[KateJ]

I voted no but I will hug a (very) few friends, but not often and only briefly. And it's always them initiate it, I will hug back but I don't hug

I once went out with a guy, for a very short time, who was very clingy. He was very huggy and hand-holdy and it drove me crazy, I suppose that was partly because there was usually a sexual intent behind it - or I thought there was even if it wasn't always there.

As to romantic orientation, I'm new here so I'm still working out the terminology, but I'm not really a romantic type either. *shrug*

[Guest]

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[Ayruen]

I'm aromantic and I only like being touched by my close friends. As long as it's them I'm not bothered by hugs , kisses, cuddles, etc. I'm okay with it, always and all the time. But with my family and other people it's different. Hugs or kisses as an address of welcome are no problem and cuddles are okay with most of my family members (I can't stand it when it's my mum and sometimes when it's one of my brothers, though). But this contact with my family is depending on my mood, whereas physical contact with my close friends isn't.

When other people than my close friends try to initiate physical contact with me in any way than I always tell them to back off.

Oh, this I-don't-like-to-be-touched-thing is one important factor for me as an aromantic person when I consider starting a relationship. Everytime someone wants me to explain to them in what way a relationship would be different in my case than a normal friendship, I tell them that I don't usually like to be touched and that there's only a handful of people, who aren't blood related to me, who are allowed to freely touch me. Even with normal friends I don't like physical contact.So, whenever I consider starting a relationship with someone it needs to be a person with whom I'm comfortable touching me. I never get the impression that it's an issue for sexual people but as I'm asexual and aromantic it's really really important!! :lol:

[Frecks]

I put "yes, but only by friends/family/partner" but it's more complicated than that. I don't mind when I'm touched on purpose, but generally if it's done by accident it kind of creeps me out or makes me feel weird. Even if it's my mother and she just brushes my arm while walking past.. I don't like it. Other-wise if it's intentional, I don't generally mind, unless it's kissing. Not a fan of that.

I believe I'm hetero-romantic.. think I was once a-romantic but I've changed a lot over the years and have gotten over a lot of anxiety issues that allow me to better be close to people in a way I couldn't before.

[(Nightlight)]

Yes, by partners. I am heteroromantic.

[Member33070]

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[Cazz333]

I have sensory integration disorder, I have anxiety, I've never trusted anybody in my space, I HATE being touched. I can sorta deal with touching other people, and I'm better at tolerating touch when I'm not in too much pain (so the last few years have been better).

This.

Skin hunger and sometimes skin overload, makes it hard to modulate liking/ disliking touch. I do like stong firm handshakes from just anyone in greetings. I feel awkward when family touches me but relieved/ deleriously happy when good friends and romantic interests touch me.

On the whole the heavier the touch is, the better. I prefer hard massaging rather than light stroking, massive engulfing hugs to the shoulder squeeze and a proper kiss than a peck. Sexual touch is the exception though. I'll avoid that until it gets to the point where I want with someone. If.

SID bothers me so much that I've started using tactile aromatherapy to ground my body senses more easily. Still find I need big heavy clothes though.

[Jillianimal]

It depends on what kind of touching, not so much who it's by. Most touching is just unbearably annoying, even if it's indirect. High 5s are ok, but I love hugs. I don't care for relationships (hetero grayromantic) but I think a cuddle buddy would be nice :3

[ieatpumpkinpie]

I like hugs, high fives and the like. But nothing prolonged like holding hands or anything more then that. It just makes me feel pretty awkward.

[maat]

I voted "Yes, but only by my partner", though I'm really somewhere between that and "No, not at all".

Very rarely, I'll hug friends if the situation calls for it (maybe once every 2 years?). I don't like being touched by family at all - I don't push anyone away, but I never reciprocate either. As for my partner... Well, it just depends on the partner. In my last relationship I felt kind of violated, even though my partner did not touch me "inappropriately". But she was very clingy and touchy-feely and could just not understand the fact that I wasn't. Thankfully, that relationship is now over.

It was different with the partner before the last one. I didn't like it at all for the first three months or so. This caused kind of an internal conflict in me, as I really loved being with that person and wanted to be as close as possible to them. Eventually that went away. I don't know if I simply got used to it, or if the fact that I didn't like being touched (in that particular case) had to do with fears or doubts on my part. I was perfectly alright with it in that relationship afterwards, but it did not change the way I felt about touching anyone else.

Oh, there's one more thing about me that might be relevant: I am ridiculously ticklish all over my body. That fact can turn any hug or cuddle into a rather funny endeavour.

I do like hugging animals though! Does that count? :P

[Guest JonSnow]

Is it cultural? Do americans touch each other a lot?

I don't like to be touched, except by my SO. For the others, handshaking or ?peck? on the cheek.

[Rebuilder]

Never. Being touched makes my paranoia go through the roof, and besides, I've never had it a lot either.

[never odd or even]

friends, partners, not really family, and randomers dont tend to touch each other. when it is its usully a just met aquaintance. thats not so bad, depending on the situation.