pancakeattack Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Do you like to be touched, and what is your romantic orientation? I'm homoromantic and I loooovvveee touch. Cuddles/hugs and that sort of thing, though. I think touch might be one of my love languages. Link to post Share on other sites
Deremna Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Okay.. I guess I am technically heteromantic because I've only ever had hetero relationships but I could see myself easily falling for anyone if they were badass enough and I weren't currently in a relationship. As for the touching goes.. I voted friends/family/partner but I'm really not much into being touched. A little hug here, peck on the cheek there.. But I have problems being around overly affectionate people who don't respect my bubble. I can be lovey at times (drunk) but even then I am not super touchy. I might randomly hug my boyfriend or a friend but I don't hang on people. This is weird but I also don't mind being smacked on the butt or groped by my female friends because they don't mean it in a sexual way. And I do it back. As far as my partner specifically, I don't mind being touched so long as I feel that it's not leading to anything. I automatically tense up if I feel things are getting too "erotic". Link to post Share on other sites
pancakeattack Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 As for the touching goes.. I voted friends/family/partner but I'm really not much into being touched. A little hug here, peck on the cheek there.. But I have problems being around overly affectionate people who don't respect my bubble. This is very interesting to me. Do you have any idea why you might not like touching? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Deremna Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 This is very interesting to me. Do you have any idea why you might not like touching? Just curious. You know, I honestly don't. I grew up in a very loving environment. My parents were affectionate towards each other and myself so it's not like I can attribute my dislike of being touched to some horrible upbringing. I have never been molested so it's not because of a traumatizing incident. It just is. As long as I feel the touch is neutral and without any sexual leaning, I can tolerate it longer but after a while, I am still bound to get uncomfortable. I also tend to lay on my side as far away from my boyfriend as I can get when we go to bed. He's a cuddler and I'll try for a while but he can tell when I start getting antsy about it. So, yeah.. I have no idea! I think about it a lot and try to figure myself out but I think there are just some things ingrained in my personality that I can't change. Link to post Share on other sites
femme_escargot Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 This is very interesting to me. Do you have any idea why you might not like touching? Just curious. You know, I honestly don't. I grew up in a very loving environment. My parents were affectionate towards each other and myself so it's not like I can attribute my dislike of being touched to some horrible upbringing. I have never been molested so it's not because of a traumatizing incident. It just is. As long as I feel the touch is neutral and without any sexual leaning, I can tolerate it longer but after a while, I am still bound to get uncomfortable. I also tend to lay on my side as far away from my boyfriend as I can get when we go to bed. He's a cuddler and I'll try for a while but he can tell when I start getting antsy about it. So, yeah.. I have no idea! I think about it a lot and try to figure myself out but I think there are just some things ingrained in my personality that I can't change. Like Deremna, I too can only tolerate touching by people I know well. However, if someone is playing the "haha, you don't like to be touched, I'm gonna touch you as much as possible" game, I'm gonna go over bord to make that person feel uncomfortable by touching him or her WAY TO MUCH. For me the hating touching came at a very early age, and I think is has something to do with being a very private person physically and emotionally... I'm not in a relationship, but even if I were, I wouldn't be very cuddly, seeing as I only touch people to communicate physically that I care. The furthest I go is arm over the shoulders/ around the waist or a short hug. That's the most affectionate I can be! Oh, And I'm definitely hetero-romantic. I had my first boyfriend at 4 y.o! Link to post Share on other sites
D.J. Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 "Only a little" isn't an option? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I loved being touched by whom I love, and none else. Other people's touch generally doesn't bother me if it's about close friends, but I never start it, and I prefer to keep it down to certain kinds (light interactions, like shaking hands, patting on shoulders, or poking them for fun). Outside my friends circle, I generally avoid touching people at all; it makes me feel uncomfortable. Oh right, I'm heteroromantic. xD Link to post Share on other sites
Feathered Hope Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Well, I didn't feel any of the options really fit me, but I put "yes, but only friends/family/partner" Honestly, I never minded touch much if you were my family or friend. It's expected, but I never really enjoyed it or disliked it. I was more neutral about it. I'll hug when I need to, or a peck on the cheek, but I never thought into it much. As for partners, well, I haven't had one yet, so we'll see how that works out when that comes around, but my intuition tells me I will put a little more stock into touch with one of them. As for boundaries... Nothing beyond a hug or a quick kiss if you are family or friends. Nothing beyond making out if you are a partner. Obviously, if I don't know you, you shouldn't be all up in my personal space. Link to post Share on other sites
Majnun Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 It doesn't really fit, but I thought it would be funny to put here anyway. :D I love being touched. Hugs, holding hands, etc. It's all great fun! I chose "yes, by anyone."Oh, and I guess I'm heteroromantic. That's a tad more complicated. Link to post Share on other sites
Asexy Existentialist Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 When I "like-like" (or love<3) someone I like touch. Or love touch. Screw it, I'm a touch monster. HOLD MY HAAAND. With family and friends... sometimes it's awkward, but I'm quite comfortable with my best friend, and my younger cousins/niece, as well as the kids I babysit, who are practically family to me. Like a cross between daughters and siblings. <3 I love them so much. I have a new one now too! Can't wait to meet her. Link to post Share on other sites
gilnokoibito Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Ooooh!!!! I hate being touched! By...anyone!!!! Friends, family, boyfriend's, etc! I don't like being kissed in any way, being hugged, having someone hold my hand...NOTHING!!!! My friends know me as "Ms. No-Touchy" XD Creeps me out and makes me soooooo uncomfortable when someone so much as gives me a pat on the back! I've been like this since I was about 10 or 11 though...and in high school I thought I would like being kissed, but that didn't pan out either! The only person who ever gets to hug me is my glomp-loving friend...she "attack huggles" people...there is no escape from it...I've tried trust me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sockstealingnome Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I'm aromantic and I don't like to be touched, however, I think it's a standard fare of communication to give hugs and handshakes so I've gotten used to those. Yes, I will even hug strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
Minty Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I'm another one that picked the second option "yes: but only by friends/family/partner". Usually even the people close to me know that I don't really like to be touched, the exceptions are when I initiate the touching, like a hug or peck on the cheek as a thank you (which most seem to expect so I do it, but not through choice I just don't want to appear rude or ungrateful), or maybe a hug when I feel that someone needs one (upset, crying, sad, etc). Most of the time I'm quite cold regarding touching, I don't really like it, and I have a thing about my hands feeling dirty so I rarely touch anything and need to wash/sanitize my hands if I do, same goes for if people touch my things, I have to clean them or I can't touch them... if I know people have dirty hands I just want them nowhere near my skin and have been known to shy away from people on those occasions. Most touching is done on my terms or else I get very awkward and anxious and it can leave me in a bad mood for hours afterwards, sometimes it can even spoil my whole day! I also identify as hetero-romantic, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest member25959 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 There's no 'I couldn't care less' option. :V Link to post Share on other sites
{deleted} Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I just don't like it when people touch me. When they do, when it's not me touching them first, it's a matter of waiting awkwardly until they let go. And maybe glaring. It depends on how well I know them. Link to post Share on other sites
cthuvianace Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I voted for "yes, but only by friends/family/partner". Touch is nice, but touch from random people is really really awkward and unpleasant. I love hugs and cuddles with friends, and holding hands is really really nice. And I identify as demi-heteroromantic, which I define as being heteroromantically-inclined, but only ever feeling romantic attraction towards close friends. It's like demisexuality without the sex part! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Tiranasta Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I dislike being touched most of the time. I am aromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
DivaLady Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I put that I like to be touched by friends and family. If I know someone, I like for them to hug me or hold my hand or snuggle with me or whatever. I have a couple friends who are real stiff when I hug them, so that makes it awkward, but I LOVE to be touched, even if it's just leaning on someone or putting my elbow on their shoulder or something ridiculous like that. The only thing I don't like is when people touch my chin or neck area, because that makes me VERY uncomfortable. And I'm heteroromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
Veg&Muffins Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Touching doesn't bother me. My friends have gotten me used to being tickled and now it doesn't bother me too much. oh and i identify as a panromantic ace... but yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
Samael Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I usually take touching as an offensive against me. I'm very territorial about my personal space, of my precious bubble that is all mine, mine alone and no one else's. I'm glad that most people have come to sense that, and instinctively keep their hands to themselves. If some airhead doesn't get it then he or she will learn soon enough to keep a formal distance. Oh, and I'm aromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Thief Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I don't mind being touched by friends and family, but only a little bit. I avoid hugging or having any touching between people I'm not too comfortable with. I'm on the fence if I'm aromantic or not. I sometimes don't mind small amounts of romanticism. Link to post Share on other sites
pancakeattack Posted June 12, 2011 Author Share Posted June 12, 2011 Thanks everybody. Sorry that there weren't that many poll options; I kind of wanted to force people to talk about their answers :B *is sneaky like that* When I "like-like" (or love<3) someone I like touch. Or love touch. Screw it, I'm a touch monster. HOLD MY HAAAND. This. :P Link to post Share on other sites
skenasis Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 I liked being touched by certain people, otherwise no. I'm much better than I used to be, though. I used to hyperventilate if someone so much as came too close to me. Now, though, I can tolerate handshakes and quick hugs (from certain people). However, I'm very touchy-feely with my boyfriend. And I get occasional hugs from my mum. I identify as pan-romantic asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Throughout my life, people have seemed to lounge over me :) Link to post Share on other sites
SquirrelCat Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 I don't like being touched at all, and I'm a mixture of aromantic and transromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
Foobeh Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I love hugs. I love holding hands and cuddling with significant others, but other than that I'm not very touchy. Link to post Share on other sites
deepfiligree Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I don't really like being touched by people I'm not extremely close to emotionally. But I do enjoy feeling physically close as a complement to that emotional closeness. I'm rather sensitive to touch in many ways though, a brush on my bare skin often makes me tense. Touches I interpret as sexual advances (even from a partner) make me nervous and uncomfortable. I do consider myself romantic though, to at least some degree. Link to post Share on other sites
Jockey Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I have sensory integration disorder, I have anxiety, I've never trusted anybody in my space, I HATE being touched. I can sorta deal with touching other people, and I'm better at tolerating touch when I'm not in too much pain (so the last few years have been better). As for romantic orientation, I'm not sure. I guess aromantic, but maybe panromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
The MoUsY spell-checker Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I'm aromantic, and I find touch physically irritating. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyStars Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Honestly, I think I was born to give hugs! Which means I really don't mind being touched. Well, as long as it's not sexually. My family and friends are very affectionate so I'm use to being touched. My parents have always said: "Why shake hands when you can give a hug instead?" I still shake people's hands but I'm more comfortable with a hug. Even just a pat on the back is good enough, too. Link to post Share on other sites
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