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How do you tell your parents?


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#1 Prettybaby666

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Posted 22 April 2011 - 06:55 AM

When I was younger I came out as bisexual.
Now I'm pretty sure I'm asexual and I don't know how to tell my parents.
I mentioned it to mum and she said that I'm simply a late bloomer like she was and that she only got interested in sex when she was around 18. But I'm pretty mature for my age, and my sister and father were both sexually mature early in life, at like 13.
I'm almost 17 and I'm 99% sure I'm asexual.
But I don't know what to tell her. How can I explain that I'm not intersted in anything to do with sex?
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#2 BadKarma

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Posted 22 April 2011 - 07:47 AM

When I was younger I came out as bisexual.
Now I'm pretty sure I'm asexual and I don't know how to tell my parents.
I mentioned it to mum and she said that I'm simply a late bloomer like she was and that she only got interested in sex when she was around 18. But I'm pretty mature for my age, and my sister and father were both sexually mature early in life, at like 13.
I'm almost 17 and I'm 99% sure I'm asexual.
But I don't know what to tell her. How can I explain that I'm not intersted in anything to do with sex?



You do it assertively and unwaveringly, that's how. People are not inclined to believe such a statement unless you're very serious about it. It's an alien concept to most people (FAR more alien than saying you're gay/bi). Make it absolutely clear to your parents that you just don't care.

Alternatively, don't worry about it. They may take you even less seriously since you already "came out" before in a different fashion and are still relatively young. I'm not questioning you: you can believe what you want to believe and ultimately, you're the deciding party here. I'm just saying that your parents will probably just take it as "Oh, they're just fretting. The wonders of youth. Last year they were bisexual, now they're asexual... Just think: next year they'll tell us that they're actually straight!" Unless you can be VERY headstrong and assertive about the revelation, they'll be disinclined to trust you under your given circumstances.


My advice really is to just not tell them because it's irrelevant and will only cause confusion. Tell them a few years from now when you're even surer with yourself and the time between your last "coming out" has increased. If you really WANT to tell them, again, don't be wishy-washy or they'll brush you off.
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#3 itsme

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Posted 22 April 2011 - 10:20 AM

i would prob wait a while, the older you are the more what you say will be taken seriously....
As BadKarma said, they may not believe you straight away (though they'd probably go along with it).
you're so lucky that you know already, when i was 17 (10 yrs ago) i had no idea that asexuality even existed

#4 Prettybaby666

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Posted 22 April 2011 - 10:57 AM

I told my mum. I only just read these XD
She said that as long as I'm sure. And to wait for a few years before telling the family, if I decide to do so.
I'm amazed she accepted it so easily.
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#5 Tomfish

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Posted 22 April 2011 - 01:52 PM

It's strange sometimes, but parents really are, in the majority of cases, just trying to make life most comfortable for you. Glad to hear it all went well :)

#6 BadKarma

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 10:36 AM

It's strange sometimes, but parents really are, in the majority of cases, just trying to make life most comfortable for you. Glad to hear it all went well :)


Truth. Unless a parent is a bona fide psycho, they're usually pretty willing to accommodate to their child's non-harmful wishes/decisions. Asexuality is about the most non-harmful thing a kid can be, so I'd figure a large amount of them, as long as they're taking the admission seriously, are actually glad (as long as they weren't waiting for grandkids).
You should read my book(s).

Or watch my YouTube channel. That's also pretty good.

Everyone, to some degree, is crazy.

If you are sane enough to realize your insanity, then you are not insane enough.
This message does not concern you.

If you are so insane that you know you couldn’t possibly be crazy, then please, for the good of us all, think happy thoughts.


#7 PiF

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 12:49 PM

you do know you can be a bisexual asexual yes?

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#8 BadKarma

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 05:35 PM

you do know you can be a bisexual asexual yes?


More accurately, they could be a biromantic asexual. Still, that's a bitch to explain to your parents :P
You should read my book(s).

Or watch my YouTube channel. That's also pretty good.

Everyone, to some degree, is crazy.

If you are sane enough to realize your insanity, then you are not insane enough.
This message does not concern you.

If you are so insane that you know you couldn’t possibly be crazy, then please, for the good of us all, think happy thoughts.


#9 Sally

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 09:47 PM

You don't need to tell your parents, or anyone, unless they want to have a sexual relationship with you (in that case, you need to tell them that you don't want that). There's no need to announce things.
I don't do PMs -- nothing personal, just can't deal with them.

#10 Prettybaby666

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Posted 24 April 2011 - 02:04 AM

Yeah I know that I don't need to tell them. Its just.. easier to tell my mum.
I tell her everything. I have no secrets at all from her.
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#11 Sally

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Posted 24 April 2011 - 03:35 AM

Are your feelings about sex something that you have to disclose? Would it affect her detrimentally if you did not tell her everything about those feelings? Do you think she really wants or needs to know everything?
I don't do PMs -- nothing personal, just can't deal with them.

#12 PiF

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Posted 24 April 2011 - 06:21 AM

For some the fear of telling builds and builds and like many things the fear of something then becomes worse than the actual expereince

role play if I can

imagine you are a parent with your parents views..in what way could your child convince you of asexuality exists and your child is one

when you do tell there has to be some realism too..if you have taken years/months to find out you are asexual...don't expect to tell someone and for them to accept it within 5 minutes..that would be unfair and unrealistic

explain it simply..keep it simple...keep the first talk basic..don't get pissy when they say it's a phase..it might well be but..at that momment you beleive you are asexual and some will be

give them time to understand, look around investigate and research..give them the room to accept in the same way you would ask them if roles were reversed

When life gives you Lemons....Make lemonade





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