Qutenkuddly Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 *stays in hiding* Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 *Runs away* Link to post Share on other sites
FrozenCherry Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 *Come to me* Link to post Share on other sites
Romeburns Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Very interesting thread, and well worth the read. I find myself agreeing with and enjoying most of BadKarma's posts, with the qualification that the described scenarios are prevalent among people who are either chronologically "young" or people who try to hold on to an arrested psychologically "young" state as they age. I find as I get a little older that more folks let such facades fade away as family, religion/spirituality, and quests for personal fulfillment change a person's outlook (both male and female). Also, in this new age of high technology and constant communication it is easier for an asexual who doesn't know what they are to both discover that they do indeed exist and that one can express asexuality without discrimination. I for one am something of the "outgoing, confident asexual male" who only realized I was asexual (and actually demisexual when I found the right woman--surprise to me!) when I stumbled upon this site. Prior to that I just didn't care to maintain the facade of a sexual life any more as I got older and just shrugged myself off as an anomaly. I was fortunate enough to have a circle of friends and family who were willing to accept what I was when I was confident enough and well reasoned enough to present it to them. I really do believe that coming out as an asexual male will become more effortless as our visibility and confidence in ourselves and our community increases. Lastly, I do want to take issue with the assertion that there is a lack of asexual male heroic characters in popular fiction. Perhaps relative to the number of sexual heroes, yes, but I present such figures as Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, and Gandalf of the Tolkien mythos as exhibit A. They can also be found in less well known but excellent works if one searches a little bit (Ged of Earthsea springs to mind!). And religious and spiritual heroes of many cultural stripes have been apparently asexual for millenia (Buddha, Lao Tzu, Jesus, Socrates off the top of my head, and the list could easily go on). Anyway, just some thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
SteelBite Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 I'm an asexual male, and I've been out ever since I discovered the term around 3 years ago, simply because I didn't care for my image. Thankfully, my friends, despite being some of the most sexual people I know, are very accepting and understanding, one keeps joking about what will happen if I suddenly turn sexual. I am attracted to women (but not sexually, obviously), and I find innocence to be a very attractive trait. I don't really know why. There is a girl I'm interested in right now, she's heterosexual, but she sure doesn't show it, not even as much as an average shy girl, so I don't see her making outlandish sex requests. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Yes. Funny, intelligent, silly, responsible, quirky, liberal, caring, fun, reasonably attractive (by my standards). Among other qualities. (: Modest - not so much :lol: Sorry dave, couldn't resist ;) Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Modest - not so much (taking quotes out of context, eh? 2 can play that game! :lol:) ah, this quote wasn't so bad. Maybe I'll have to read your posts more carefully... Link to post Share on other sites
BadKarma Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Lastly, I do want to take issue with the assertion that there is a lack of asexual male heroic characters in popular fiction. Perhaps relative to the number of sexual heroes, yes, but I present such figures as Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, and Gandalf of the Tolkien mythos as exhibit A. They can also be found in less well known but excellent works if one searches a little bit (Ged of Earthsea springs to mind!). And religious and spiritual heroes of many cultural stripes have been apparently asexual for millenia (Buddha, Lao Tzu, Jesus, Socrates off the top of my head, and the list could easily go on). Anyway, just some thoughts. Frodo is totally gay for Sam, and Jesus had a thing for Mary Magdalene (although that second one is based off of the researching skills of Dan Brown, who as we all know is terrible at researching). Link to post Share on other sites
PiF Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Lastly, I do want to take issue with the assertion that there is a lack of asexual male heroic characters in popular fiction. Perhaps relative to the number of sexual heroes, yes, but I present such figures as Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, and Gandalf of the Tolkien mythos as exhibit A. They can also be found in less well known but excellent works if one searches a little bit (Ged of Earthsea springs to mind!). And religious and spiritual heroes of many cultural stripes have been apparently asexual for millenia (Buddha, Lao Tzu, Jesus, Socrates off the top of my head, and the list could easily go on). Anyway, just some thoughts. i checked facebook to see if any of those wanted asexual dates....the computer said no Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Lastly, I do want to take issue with the assertion that there is a lack of asexual male heroic characters in popular fiction. Perhaps relative to the number of sexual heroes, yes, but I present such figures as Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, and Gandalf of the Tolkien mythos as exhibit A. They can also be found in less well known but excellent works if one searches a little bit (Ged of Earthsea springs to mind!). And religious and spiritual heroes of many cultural stripes have been apparently asexual for millenia (Buddha, Lao Tzu, Jesus, Socrates off the top of my head, and the list could easily go on). Anyway, just some thoughts. i checked facebook to see if any of those wanted asexual dates....the computer said no Hahahaha hahaha! lol... well Now I have more people to put out of my list! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Ase21 Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I think that it is not as hard for a male to come out and say im "asexual" rather than saying im "homosexual". There is nothing wrong with being homosexual but I think people would accept asexualas more. I mean im a female but from my experience I know many people who think sex is overated and a lot of people would agree and you have those who dont but they wont degrade you for it. People actually commend you for not wanting to have sex for any reason if you look at it morally. That is why I am not afraid to tell anyone because I am happier this way and i dont feel i should stay in the closet and be miserable. Men do have to be careful and just know what type of people you are dealing with because there are gangs etc who more so dont like homosexuals and if they think your one they might try to hurt you. You dont necessaril have to say "asexual" becuase people dont generally accept what they dont know. Just say you prefer not to engage in sexual activity or you have no interest in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Paisano Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I think that it is not as hard for a male to come out and say im "asexual" rather than saying im "homosexual". There is nothing wrong with being homosexual but I think people would accept asexualas more. I mean im a female but from my experience I know many people who think sex is overated and a lot of people would agree and you have those who dont but they wont degrade you for it. People actually commend you for not wanting to have sex for any reason if you look at it morally. That is why I am not afraid to tell anyone because I am happier this way and i dont feel i should stay in the closet and be miserable. Men do have to be careful and just know what type of people you are dealing with because there are gangs etc who more so dont like homosexuals and if they think your one they might try to hurt you. You dont necessaril have to say "asexual" becuase people dont generally accept what they dont know. Just say you prefer not to engage in sexual activity or you have no interest in it. At the end of the day, it all depends on the environment you find yourself in. I know for me, it would be much easier to come out and say "I'm homosexual" than to declare my asexyness. People know that homosexuality exists- which makes all the difference. I know people who will commend me for not having sex, and just as quickly start being so sympathetic about it. Simply telling them that I would prefer to not engage in sexual activity/ I have no interest in it wouldn't quite cut it, and if anything, they'd just have even more questions about why I would ever consider NOT having sex. To quote something previously stated by Bountiful Harvest: "Well being asexual and male is pretty hard, especially amongst your peers as sadly your masculinity is gauged by your sexual conquests." I find this statement very true, at least in my situation. I do understand its not that way for everyone~ Link to post Share on other sites
GenoBeano Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I have been Asexual for as long as I can remember I just had my "Ah Ha" moment a few months ago. I like hugging and kissing with the right person and I do gain some pleasure in sexually pleasing the other person. I just don't really have any desire for sex. It's really about the other person. Ideally I would like to find an Asexual female who is a kindred spirit, best friend, and enjoys non sexual physical affection. I understand that this may not ever happen but I am not ready to give up hope. The point of all this rambling was just to say that Asexual men may be rare but we're out here. Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 My brother said Rorschach from Watchmen was mentioned to be asexual in the comics. It was sweet that he mentioned it to me, knowing I'd appreciate it. ^_^ It's kinda a way of him saying he doesn't see a problem with asexuality or feel it's untrue or anything. ^_^ Also Rorschach is my favourtie character from Watchmen! Link to post Share on other sites
Romeburns Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 i checked facebook to see if any of those wanted asexual dates....the computer said no Haha! Damn computers, they always know everything. . . And haha to BadKarma, too! I agree that Dan Brown is a paragon of objective scientific research. . . *cough* Link to post Share on other sites
The Pixel Monk Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 << >> To be specific, the actual "research" boiled down to reading a book mentioned by his wife that was written by a trio of crackpots that were tricked by a fraud. The fraud was disproved and even later admitted to the fraud (if memory serves), but the "researchers" by that point had decided that that was all a lie and kept going. Consequently, they've released plenty of books about the "conspiracy" to hide the bloodline of the supposed Christian mangod. :P It's really kind of sad. So, Dan Brown, about as educated as the public, you want the "paragons" of "objective research"? You can find their names here. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeburns Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Peace, Pixel Monk. I think both Badkarma and I were being completely sarcastic. At least that's how I took it! Link to post Share on other sites
BadKarma Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 << >> To be specific, the actual "research" boiled down to reading a book mentioned by his wife that was written by a trio of crackpots that were tricked by a fraud. The fraud was disproved and even later admitted to the fraud (if memory serves), but the "researchers" by that point had decided that that was all a lie and kept going. Consequently, they've released plenty of books about the "conspiracy" to hide the bloodline of the supposed Christian mangod. :P It's really kind of sad. So, Dan Brown, about as educated as the public, you want the "paragons" of "objective research"? You can find their names here. Except those goofballs faded into obscurity in the late 1800s and never got much of a following. Brown, by comparison, went off of their work to write some bestselling novels that aren't true (but totally are, man, just don't tell any Catholics!), yet peoples' insanity pulled it into the cultural zeitgeist. Peace, Pixel Monk. I think both Badkarma and I were being completely sarcastic. At least that's how I took it! Yeah, that. Link to post Share on other sites
The Pixel Monk Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I wasn't being uptight. I was just clarifying things to the actual story behind things as opposed to the popular narrative which is wrong. o_0 Link to post Share on other sites
Romeburns Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I wasn't being uptight. I was just clarifying things to the actual story behind things as opposed to the popular narrative which is wrong. o_0 Hehe, fair enough. Sorry for the OT, Cuddleme! Link to post Share on other sites
Fricai Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Try finding identifying asexual biologists. There are only 2 of us I know of. +1 :) + I've never been closeted, i've been honest about it since I knew it. Not experiencing any kind of social trouble. Then again, the majority of people I see are university students, that might help... More good news: I did meet my partner on AVEN. So don't give up, TS and others. Good luck. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Bobandirus Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Try finding identifying asexual biologists. There are only 2 of us I know of. +1 :) + I've never been closeted, i've been honest about it since I knew it. Not experiencing any kind of social trouble. Then again, the majority of people I see are university students, that might help... More good news: I did meet my partner on AVEN. So don't give up, TS and others. Good luck. :) Thats good to know that you have not had any problems socially. I presume you have told other biologists, how did they take it? I haven't told any on my degree course, as I really cant imagine what they would say? And congrats on finding your partner here! Link to post Share on other sites
Ged of Earthsea Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Except those goofballs faded into obscurity in the late 1800s and never got much of a following. Brown, by comparison, went off of their work to write some bestselling novels that aren't true (but totally are, man, just don't tell any Catholics!), yet peoples' insanity pulled it into the cultural zeitgeist. I think this trope is one that could be resurrected every 20-30 years with some success as long as some number of people care about a certain religion. Link to post Share on other sites
Fricai Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 ... Not specifically much biologists, but as far as I remember they're just like the rest. "Hmmmmm", "Oh, that's weird!", "uhu", "Are you sure?", "Maybe you should try it sometime...". Link to post Share on other sites
Bobandirus Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 ... Not specifically much biologists, but as far as I remember they're just like the rest. "Hmmmmm", "Oh, that's weird!", "uhu", "Are you sure?", "Maybe you should try it sometime...". Thats interesting, I would have thought biologists would have been the least believing of all people, given what asexual reproduction means, and also how much of a driving force sex is in nature. I'm much less scared now to try out telling someone now that you've said that, thanks. :cake: :cake: Link to post Share on other sites
eee Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 asexual men are ............................. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 asexual men are ............................. Delicious? LOL I bet all this guys are afraid of me! wich is funny lol XD Link to post Share on other sites
Paisano Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 asexual men are ............................. Delicious? LOL I bet all this guys are afraid of me! wich is funny lol XD I don't know the meaning of fear!...and now I retract that statement... *slips away into obscurity* Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 asexual men are ............................. Delicious? LOL I bet all this guys are afraid of me! wich is funny lol XD I don't know the meaning of fear!...and now I retract that statement... *slips away into obscurity* Dont worry dude! I'm not going to eat you! Dont be afraid *sits next to paisano and behave* Yeahhhh!! I'm waiting for you to believe I will never... and then... oohhhh :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Paisano Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 asexual men are ............................. Delicious? LOL I bet all this guys are afraid of me! wich is funny lol XD I don't know the meaning of fear!...and now I retract that statement... *slips away into obscurity* Dont worry dude! I'm not going to eat you! Dont be afraid *sits next to paisano and behave* Yeahhhh!! I'm waiting for you to believe I will never... and then... oohhhh :lol: So you're going to butter me up *literally and figuratively*, and strike when I least expect it? Good choice of tactic ;) Link to post Share on other sites
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