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Isn't it hard to find Asexual MEN?


misscuriosity

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Qutenkuddly

Yeah totally agree here. Usually its assumed to be the guys job to approach a girl so it doesnt matter if shes quite forward or shy/doesnt appear interested since guys will usually make the first move and try anyway. For asexual guys though were far less likely to make a move so the girls just assume were not interested in them. Ive had this happen a lot to me, some times its fine and if i genuinely like the girl ill eventually make some kind of move (or she will) but other times ive had girls totally go off me and think im a tosser since they have been actively showing an interest/flirting with me but are getting no reaction or response (since what they think is 'actively' is quite mild and im simply just not registering it - interesting point here im not sure if its me whose rubbish at noticing the flirting or the girls who are rubbish at flirting in the first place, afterall, usually all they have to do is look at a guy and he'll make a move so they often have dont need to be good at it. I suspect its a bit of both, mainly cause i dont want to think im THAT rubbish at reading people ;))

You're not the only one who seems oblivious to those sort of things. There was a discussion about that particular topic some time ago. I'll dig it out, at some point, if anyone is interested.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

Oh, don't remind me of Sheldon (people use to keep saying I was just like Sheldon and it got very annoying). Oh, with regards to being eaten, YouAreYummy, I think I need to put some sort of sign on myself so that you know not to eat me because while I look like a man, I am not.

Dont worry about it! as I said it, it must be a feeling both share, I can see the signals already... not need to write in your face! :rolleyes:

OK.

Now, I need a find a good way to find men/women/whatevers who are nice, affectionate, asexual or grey-A, and see me as Samantha.

I find it hard to see you as male. Not that I try or should. But yeah, I also tend to see people as being whatever their DP is aha. ^_^

(I just had a friend recently come out and has changed their gender identity more publicly, I'm so happy for them.) I'm sure (just like my mate,) you will have and find others who naturally have little trouble understanding and seeing things how they really are.

I dunno why it's harder for other people but for me it really doesn't take that much effort, or even memory (which is good because I have God awful memory).

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

text

Oh, don't remind me of Sheldon (people use to keep saying I was just like Sheldon and it got very annoying). Oh, with regards to being eaten, YouAreYummy, I think I need to put some sort of sign on myself so that you know not to eat me because while I look like a man, I am not.

Dont worry about it! as I said it, it must be a feeling both share, I can see the signals already... not need to write in your face! :rolleyes:

OK.

Now, I need a find a good way to find men/women/whatevers who are nice, affectionate, asexual or grey-A, and see me as Samantha.

I find it hard to see you as male. Not that I try or should. But yeah, I also tend to see people as being whatever their DP is aha. ^_^

(I just had a friend recently come out and has changed their gender identity more publicly, I'm so happy for them.) I'm sure (just like my mate,) you will have and find others who naturally have little trouble understanding and seeing things how they really are.

I dunno why it's harder for other people but for me it really doesn't take that much effort, or even memory (which is good because I have God awful memory).

Just in case I never had that problem about this person, I dont even know her... And my comment about eating people was a joke referring only to single-heterosexual-man seeking for a single-heterosexual-woman.

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*************

i'm a heteromantic male! The main problem is that we're supposed to be the ones who are mad about sex and pursuading the girls to do it with us. So (in my own experience anyway) when we aren't like that, it completely wrong foots everyone. Girls have even been offended because they thought that i didn't think they were good enough for me. And of course, most people go for the easy answer - "he must be gay" - which does not help when you are trying to find girls.

Yeah totally agree here. Usually its assumed to be the guys job to approach a girl so it doesnt matter if shes quite forward or shy/doesnt appear interested since guys will usually make the first move and try anyway. For asexual guys though were far less likely to make a move so the girls just assume were not interested in them. Ive had this happen a lot to me, some times its fine and if i genuinely like the girl ill eventually make some kind of move (or she will) but other times ive had girls totally go off me and think im a tosser since they have been actively showing an interest/flirting with me but are getting no reaction or response (since what they think is 'actively' is quite mild and im simply just not registering it - interesting point here im not sure if its me whose rubbish at noticing the flirting or the girls who are rubbish at flirting in the first place, afterall, usually all they have to do is look at a guy and he'll make a move so they often have dont need to be good at it. I suspect its a bit of both, mainly cause i dont want to think im THAT rubbish at reading people ;))

But yeah to summarize - an ace girl will generally be a bit quieter and less active in making a move, not an issue if the guy makes a move but if its an ace guy he's less likely or much slower to initiate anything and you end in stalemate. Solution...i dont have a god one but, for me at least, its got easier as ive got older and gained more experience, the flirting and initial connection bit isnt the problem for me now, its all the relationship stuff that comes after!

Another problem I have, is that i'm very defeatist. What I want out of a relationship is closeness etc. But because i know that it is VERY unlikely that any girl i like will be either ace herself or very understanding, I end up assuming that it won't work and will not give her a chance. For example, I'm 'seeing' a girl right now, we meet up and text a hell of a lot and have kissed before. She has even got to the stage of saying that she loves me at the end of her messages! And yet i have placed a barrier between myself and her because i haven't told her about my asexuality yet and i don't want to get too emotionally invested. Seriously, how screwed up is that!? I need to sort my freggin life out!

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A Long Time Ago

Oh, don't remind me of Sheldon (people use to keep saying I was just like Sheldon and it got very annoying). Oh, with regards to being eaten, YouAreYummy, I think I need to put some sort of sign on myself so that you know not to eat me because while I look like a man, I am not.

Dont worry about it! as I said it, it must be a feeling both share, I can see the signals already... not need to write in your face! :rolleyes:

OK.

Now, I need a find a good way to find men/women/whatevers who are nice, affectionate, asexual or grey-A, and see me as Samantha.

I find it hard to see you as male. Not that I try or should. But yeah, I also tend to see people as being whatever their DP is aha. ^_^

(I just had a friend recently come out and has changed their gender identity more publicly, I'm so happy for them.) I'm sure (just like my mate,) you will have and find others who naturally have little trouble understanding and seeing things how they really are.

Thank you, this made me feel better :).

I dunno why it's harder for other people but for me it really doesn't take that much effort, or even memory (which is good because I have God awful memory).

I have been trying to figure out the same thing. It might be harder for people with really good memories who don't have the ability to do much self-reprogramming.

text

Oh, don't remind me of Sheldon (people use to keep saying I was just like Sheldon and it got very annoying). Oh, with regards to being eaten, YouAreYummy, I think I need to put some sort of sign on myself so that you know not to eat me because while I look like a man, I am not.

Dont worry about it! as I said it, it must be a feeling both share, I can see the signals already... not need to write in your face! :rolleyes:

OK.

Now, I need a find a good way to find men/women/whatevers who are nice, affectionate, asexual or grey-A, and see me as Samantha.

I find it hard to see you as male. Not that I try or should. But yeah, I also tend to see people as being whatever their DP is aha. ^_^

(I just had a friend recently come out and has changed their gender identity more publicly, I'm so happy for them.) I'm sure (just like my mate,) you will have and find others who naturally have little trouble understanding and seeing things how they really are.

I dunno why it's harder for other people but for me it really doesn't take that much effort, or even memory (which is good because I have God awful memory).

Just in case I never had that problem about this person, I dont even know her... And my comment about eating people was a joke referring only to single-heterosexual-man seeking for a single-heterosexual-woman.

Don't worry, I knew you were joking and was playing along with it, though I didn't make it obvious (I really need to work on how I word things). Also, I thought it was particularly fitting thing to say given your username.

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

Oh, don't remind me of Sheldon (people use to keep saying I was just like Sheldon and it got very annoying). Oh, with regards to being eaten, YouAreYummy, I think I need to put some sort of sign on myself so that you know not to eat me because while I look like a man, I am not.

Dont worry about it! as I said it, it must be a feeling both share, I can see the signals already... not need to write in your face! :rolleyes:

OK.

Now, I need a find a good way to find men/women/whatevers who are nice, affectionate, asexual or grey-A, and see me as Samantha.

I find it hard to see you as male. Not that I try or should. But yeah, I also tend to see people as being whatever their DP is aha. ^_^

(I just had a friend recently come out and has changed their gender identity more publicly, I'm so happy for them.) I'm sure (just like my mate,) you will have and find others who naturally have little trouble understanding and seeing things how they really are.

Thank you, this made me feel better :).

I dunno why it's harder for other people but for me it really doesn't take that much effort, or even memory (which is good because I have God awful memory).

I have been trying to figure out the same thing. It might be harder for people with really good memories who don't have the ability to do much self-reprogramming.

Oh, don't remind me of Sheldon (people use to keep saying I was just like Sheldon and it got very annoying). Oh, with regards to being eaten, YouAreYummy, I think I need to put some sort of sign on myself so that you know not to eat me because while I look like a man, I am not.

Dont worry about it! as I said it, it must be a feeling both share, I can see the signals already... not need to write in your face! :rolleyes:

OK.

Now, I need a find a good way to find men/women/whatevers who are nice, affectionate, asexual or grey-A, and see me as Samantha.

I find it hard to see you as male. Not that I try or should. But yeah, I also tend to see people as being whatever their DP is aha. ^_^

(I just had a friend recently come out and has changed their gender identity more publicly, I'm so happy for them.) I'm sure (just like my mate,) you will have and find others who naturally have little trouble understanding and seeing things how they really are.

I dunno why it's harder for other people but for me it really doesn't take that much effort, or even memory (which is good because I have God awful memory).

Just in case I never had that problem about this person, I dont even know her... And my comment about eating people was a joke referring only to single-heterosexual-man seeking for a single-heterosexual-woman.

Don't worry, I knew you were joking and was playing along with it, though I didn't make it obvious (I really need to work on how I word things). Also, I thought it was particularly fitting thing to say given your username.

;) here you have something we both can eat: cake! :cake: :)

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Well, I'm a male, but in no way romantic. The concept makes no sense to me and I think you're all quite mad ;)

Still, I suppose that means I won't be eaten as cake, so woohoo!

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

Well, I'm a male, but in no way romantic. The concept makes no sense to me and I think you're all quite mad ;)

Still, I suppose that means I won't be eaten as cake, so woohoo!

:(

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. . .but there are sounds

Well, I'm a male, but in no way romantic. The concept makes no sense to me and I think you're all quite mad ;)

Still, I suppose that means I won't be eaten as cake, so woohoo!

Mad? Perhaps . . . but I have my most fun at my least sane.

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asexy man with a side order of fries coming right up. Ladies please stay in your line, I am giving out orders as fast as I can. :cake:

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

asexy man with a side order of fries coming right up. Ladies please stay in your line, I am giving out orders as fast as I can. :cake:

No line!! i will kick them all out of it! lol I'm kidding hahahaha!

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A Long Time Ago

Maybe I should work as a spy to find the asexual men who are romantically attracted to women for everyone here. They will usually spill the beans to me because they think I am one of them.

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psst, Sam... I'm an asexual man who is romantically attracted to women. shhhh

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Qutenkuddly

asexy man with a side order of fries coming right up. Ladies please stay in your line, I am giving out orders as fast as I can. :cake:

With a side of fries? Like a burger or something? I feel like a piece of meat... :P

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psst, Sam... I'm an asexual man who is romantically attracted to women. shhhh

Me too.

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yes i want that 2 no sexual man just asexual i have never met 1 i want everything but the close encounters in the bedroom department whats wrong with holding hands kissing and hugging going places?

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

Maybe I should work as a spy to find the asexual men who are romantically attracted to women for everyone here. They will usually spill the beans to me because they think I am one of them.

That sound fantastic!! I like you a lot already Sam! ^_^ Tell them all that I'm here!! I guess they dont see me! :( hahahaha! hahaha! :lol: :lol: :lol:

psst, Sam... I'm an asexual man who is romantically attracted to women. shhhh

Me too.

And I bet you are loving the idea of feeling like a piece of meal!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Don't I know you? lol

*Hugs* :)

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asexy man with a side order of fries coming right up. Ladies please stay in your line, I am giving out orders as fast as I can. :cake:

With a side of fries? Like a burger or something? I feel like a piece of meat... :P

hahahaha, i didn't mean to sound like this

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Maybe we should have a dating thread here on Aven. Just get in and introduce yourself and the type of woman/man you are attracted to. I met my asexy partner here.....it was totally unintentional because I always hated relationships and it was a big surprise. :ph34r:

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Qutenkuddly

I met my asexy partner here, too. :)

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

I met my asexy partner here, too. :)

Wait! then this thread should be called Isn't it hard to find an asexual single heteroromantic MEN? So there wouldnt been any confusion about who is single or not lol!

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Qutenkuddly

You didn't specify. :P

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

Why is nobody competing for the asexual sheep? *pouts*

Aww!! the sheep is really doing pouts! :( lol well tell us your age at least so we can know wich of us can go after you lol! XD

(I know u are there hidden! I saw you!) lol

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Ged of Earthsea

Why is nobody competing for the asexual sheep? *pouts*

The truly evil ones steal sheep at night. The paranoid ones dye their sheep orange. The mental ones .. the truly beyond-good-and-evil ones .. well, see for yourself.

Of course, we don't tell you which one we are.

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Maybe we should have a dating thread here on Aven. Just get in and introduce yourself and the type of woman/man you are attracted to. I met my asexy partner here.....it was totally unintentional because I always hated relationships and it was a big surprise. :ph34r:

Might not be a bad idea. I know this isn't a dating site, but since people do get together on AVEN, might as well give it a shot.

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Maybe we should have a dating thread here on Aven. Just get in and introduce yourself and the type of woman/man you are attracted to. I met my asexy partner here.....it was totally unintentional because I always hated relationships and it was a big surprise. :ph34r:

Might not be a bad idea. I know this isn't a dating site, but since people do get together on AVEN, might as well give it a shot.

doesn't it make sense that some asexuals would prefer to date other asexuals? After all, this is one of the biggest ace community online. Maybe someone should kindly ask the Moderator to open a section for dating and meeting people only. Those who hate romance and dating don't have to enter it and be bothered by the contents. Someone can formulate the layout and have one section for the ladies, one second for the gents, one section for bi and one section for same sex interest. I mean all you have to do is have a detailed or mysterious intro...however you like. For instance, you can have a opening line, a little intro on your age, location and interests. Tell people what exactly you are interested in and looking for. To be discreet, you can ask people to privately pm you instead of replies. You can even send each other photos under your own consent. Here's a demo: " Name: Thebirdsandbees. age: 30. male. asexual and very romantic. Location: mid west Canada. Hope to meet a pen pal or a companion within ...of the radius. I like to read and write and am a construction worker. Hope to meet someone who can make me laugh and appreciates good food. If you are interested or want to see a photo, please pm me."

seriously, this isn't hard or bad. People r sociable creatures and some wants a little bit more. :cake:

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Qutenkuddly

Maybe we should have a dating thread here on Aven. Just get in and introduce yourself and the type of woman/man you are attracted to. I met my asexy partner here.....it was totally unintentional because I always hated relationships and it was a big surprise. :ph34r:

Might not be a bad idea. I know this isn't a dating site, but since people do get together on AVEN, might as well give it a shot.

doesn't it make sense that some asexuals would prefer to date other asexuals? After all, this is one of the biggest ace community online. Maybe someone should kindly ask the Moderator to open a section for dating and meeting people only. Those who hate romance and dating don't have to enter it and be bothered by the contents. Someone can formulate the layout and have one section for the ladies, one second for the gents, one section for bi and one section for same sex interest. I mean all you have to do is have a detailed or mysterious intro...however you like. For instance, you can have a opening line, a little intro on your age, location and interests. Tell people what exactly you are interested in and looking for. To be discreet, you can ask people to privately pm you instead of replies. You can even send each other photos under your own consent. Here's a demo: " Name: Thebirdsandbees. age: 30. male. asexual and very romantic. Location: mid west Canada. Hope to meet a pen pal or a companion within ...of the radius. I like to read and write and am a construction worker. Hope to meet someone who can make me laugh and appreciates good food. If you are interested or want to see a photo, please pm me."

seriously, this isn't hard or bad. People r sociable creatures and some wants a little bit more. :cake:

A simpler solution might be just post what you're about and what you're looking for in your profile, and maybe a short note in your signature letting folk know you're looking. Just me thinking out loud a bit...

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Maybe we should have a dating thread here on Aven. Just get in and introduce yourself and the type of woman/man you are attracted to. I met my asexy partner here.....it was totally unintentional because I always hated relationships and it was a big surprise. :ph34r:

Might not be a bad idea. I know this isn't a dating site, but since people do get together on AVEN, might as well give it a shot.

doesn't it make sense that some asexuals would prefer to date other asexuals? After all, this is one of the biggest ace community online. Maybe someone should kindly ask the Moderator to open a section for dating and meeting people only. Those who hate romance and dating don't have to enter it and be bothered by the contents. Someone can formulate the layout and have one section for the ladies, one second for the gents, one section for bi and one section for same sex interest. I mean all you have to do is have a detailed or mysterious intro...however you like. For instance, you can have a opening line, a little intro on your age, location and interests. Tell people what exactly you are interested in and looking for. To be discreet, you can ask people to privately pm you instead of replies. You can even send each other photos under your own consent. Here's a demo: " Name: Thebirdsandbees. age: 30. male. asexual and very romantic. Location: mid west Canada. Hope to meet a pen pal or a companion within ...of the radius. I like to read and write and am a construction worker. Hope to meet someone who can make me laugh and appreciates good food. If you are interested or want to see a photo, please pm me."

seriously, this isn't hard or bad. People r sociable creatures and some wants a little bit more. :cake:

A simpler solution might be just post what you're about and what you're looking for in your profile, and maybe a short note in your signature letting folk know you're looking. Just me thinking out loud a bit...

I think that would be quite a bit harder to do than to make a post on a dating section. I can picture a lot of people being afraid of looking desperate by having things like a notice in their signature advertising that they're looking for someone. Also, posting in a dating section would clear up any doubt about your availability. I think a dating section would make it a lot easier for conversations to get started between interested people.

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