For 30-somethings and those around that age

[Rising Sun]

You're right Vervain. I could still see my "family" on Christmas but the holidays would be really ruined, and worse than when I'm all alone, with just my pets and the TV. At least I may cook and eat good food just for myself, like a good selfish person :D and share the new recipes with my online friends and on forums :)

[Myssterry]

I have no close family, so have to rely on being invited by others. Sometimes I am, sometimes not, but I always have my dog and cat. :) Much easier to get along with than some people are. :)

[Tenebrae]

Christmas shopping is about done! Just 2 more people and they are of the parental sort.

I'm a little sad that I won't have a tree or decorations this year. But all the Christmas stuff is in storage.

But I will do all the baking I possibly can!

I don't really have any social obligations other than Christmas Dinner.

I also did the stupid thing of offering to host a new years eve party at my house... I want to do it, but I also just want to sit on my couch and watch marathons of movies.

Cats are the best holiday guests ever. They sit on your lap and purr.

(mine have finally stopped meowing in the middle of the night.... :D )

[A Taste of Harmony]

No social obligation. (But even I have some I probably wouldn't do if it is not fun or resonates with me. :P )

Christmas break from work.

Christmas sales are usually available if I need to get something.

Places get more brighter and colourful.

I like traditional carol music and a lot of places offer free concerts.

The weather is warm.

Many details that I enjoy from Christmas.

@vervain

I have never had or petted a ferret yet. ^_^ I'm surprised you can even have a ferret as a pet. :O

[korik]

Rising Sun > I hate the social pressure to be happy at Christmas. Any other time of the year you could be sad to be away from your loved ones, or irritated to have to be with people you are supposed to love and don't... and at Christmas society gangs up to rub it in, because it is socially unacceptable to be anything other than sweetness light and joy. :twisted:

I had this conversation with myself, today. (yes, I talk to myself.)

I can't stand the "social obligations" of Christmas [and thanksgiving for that matter.] I hate christmas because I am not religious and I don't particularly care for my family. And the social obligation is actually made worse because I have "no reason" to not like my family. I had a good childhood and all of that crap. But I simply don't care! I love that I am a pet/house sitter and always working during the holiday. I get to be alone, and only forced to make an appearance during the christmas eve family thing.

Most people probably think there is something wrong with me, but *I* think there is something wrong with Them. I guess fair is fair! ;)

[DexM]

True Story!

Location: My house.

Date/Year: Sometime last December.

Those involved: DexM and his brother.

DexM: Christmas is going to be really bad this year, I don't how much I can take, especially after last year.

Brother: You really think it's going to be bad?

DexM: You don't? After what happened last year, the year before that and the year before that...............................what makes you think it will be any better?

Brother: It's Christmas!

DexM: Exactly!

DexM: I'm seriously thinking of helping out at the soup kitchen, the one in town.

Brother: Don't be so selfish!

That, dear people of the 30's thread, is what I am up against :lol:

I have a few presents left. Both nephews are mostly unaccounted for and my mum could do with something extra. There is quite the undercurrent of hatred, loathing, disappointment and resentment in my family, permeating almost every relationship, yet some of them, the main culprits and ones who have made things bad, seem to think that it can all be forgotten about for Christmas Day and that we should all make an effort. It's just they don't actually make an effort, they prefer to humiliate anyone who they deem hasn't made an effort. It really is a delightful situation :D But my other brother has put together a fun-family-based-film highlighting my mums alter-ego, a super hero she used to pretend to be when we were kids, one that has been a year in the making and he is going to premiere it on Christmas morning. So at least we have that.

I like Miss Terry's freedom, although I don't want to go on about that too much as there will be some people who would still prefer to be in my situation and have people around them. I should be grateful at least for one half of my family. It is such a strange time of year.

@vervain- I am restricted to one hour of internet tomfoolery, a day. I have been having weekly deep muscle massages (that's been fun ) but do get to soak in hot baths as way of treatment. That is fun . No weightlifting, a major depression/stress reliever, and no carrying heavy bags of shopping (a major getting-out-of-chores-excuse)

@Harmmy. More rabbits, please! I love fluffywuffy bunnykins'. My first pet was a rabbit. I called him Roger, after the film that was out at the same time. A lot of adults found it funny when I said my pet was called Roger the rabbit, snickering at some sort of innuendo that young Dex was unaware of :(.

I am terrified of my overly flirtatious, big-bossomed-and-revealer of, housing advisor ^_^

[Spotastic]

Christmas is a stressful time around here. My wife and her parents have one of those relationships where her parents think they understand her but really, really don't. That sometimes causes conflict, but for the most part it's manageable. The real problem comes from my brother-in-law. He's basically a hillbilly with all kinds of ridiculous racist and ignorant views about all things. He once asked me "Do you always eat Puertorican food or do you eat normal food?" <_< He and my wife often butt heads because neither one are the kind to be quiet about their thoughts when a topic is brought up (although I do know that even with what she does say, my wife still holds a lot back).

My blood relatives are all over 1000 miles away and I haven't seen any of them in over 7 years. That does tend to depress me a bit, since my physical problems mean that I can't travel to see them, and money issues make it so they can't see me either.

Gifts, however, are already taken care of this year. We decided to get that out of the way as soon as we could to limit the stress. There's still plenty of stress, but at least we're not hustling to finish presents again. ^_^

[Tenebrae]

There is innuendo for Roger the rabbit? ?

Sorry Spot. Love to respond but Dex has totally gobsmacked me by this comment.

Families are terrible sometimes. I limit my time with mine a lot.

However I am essentially a kind person and I don't want my sister mad at me so I visit and take my mother's sting away from her.

This year is going to be a little weird for my family as we are experiencing our first major family break as my brother decided he was pissed off at us and has decided to take his family to Cuba over Christmas.

What's a little family drama at Christmas time? amirite?

I'd figure I'd play nice this year and go.

As for consumerism... yea. it's terrible. People feel that they have to have all the things. Be it expensive or gift cards. I hate gift cards with a passion.

I love giving gifts. I love finding the right gift for the right person. If it makes you smile, I am the happiest. It could be a baked good or a cheesy $5 thing.

Annd that is my take.

[korik]

I had this conversation with myself, today. (yes, I talk to myself.)

I can't stand the "social obligations" of Christmas [and thanksgiving for that matter.] I hate christmas because I am not religious and I don't particularly care for my family. And the social obligation is actually made worse because I have "no reason" to not like my family. I had a good childhood and all of that crap. But I simply don't care! I love that I am a pet/house sitter and always working during the holiday. I get to be alone, and only forced to make an appearance during the christmas eve family thing.

Most people probably think there is something wrong with me, but *I* think there is something wrong with Them. I guess fair is fair! ;)

Oh yeah, I forgot to add that I loathe consumerism.

My mother likes to buy things for people just for the sake of buying/giving things. I have nothing I Want, much less Need. I am really a minimalist. The fewer possessions I have, the better. My mother will often buy stupid little trinkets to throw in our stockings. Not only is it's only purpose is to sit on a shelf, but it's really ugly, too!

[Skycaptain]

I agree, the best Christmas I have had in years was the one where I was all on my own. No rows, no pressure, no stress. No plates stuffed with turkey and cranberries both of which I loathe. This year will be back to normal, rowing brother in law and Stepdad, the dog climbing all over my sofa and I end up feeling a prisoner in my own home

[Rising Sun]

My best alone Christmas Eve night was when I went to the cinema.

But now I rarely dare going out on Christmas Eve night because I live in a district where burglars are very active during Winter holidays.

At least, just an idea if you don't know what to do :)

[vervain]

I know that ferrets and rabbits really don't mix, but if we keep them in separate messages then we can enjoy the cute-and-fluffiness of both. (There was even a thread on here yesterday where someone was getting a ferret, but I can't remember where it was). I'd love to have a ferret, they are intelligent, mischievous and fun as well as piping warm and beautiful, but I have to travel so much for work that pets just aren't possible. So here are visual-only ferrets for the doubters and already-convinced among you.

Dex > sounds like you're being well looked after ! hope it does the trick.

Miss Terry & korik > how I envy your peaceful Christmases. (and korik, I really sympathise with you about the gifts that people give to make themselves feel good rather than actually being nice for the recipient. Part of my family does something similar, and it is the height of discourtesy in my opinion).

Tenebrae > yay, baking !!! That's one of the Christmas things I do enjoy. I love mixing stuff with raisins and sultanas, and pushing little rounds of pastry into pie tins to bake. Then the kitchen and the rest of the flat all smell really nice afterwards.

Harmony > and the Christmas music is nice too. And the shiny lights.

spotastic > I bow to your organisation. I'm not halfway through yet. Work is particularly crazy this week (end of term), hopefully things will calm down next week.

[Spotastic]

We'll be making fudge and lemon squares and brookies for the rest of the family this year. We did it last year, too, and we really enjoyed it, so we're doing it again. That will at least bring some joy to us for the holidays. :D

[eee]

Does anyone here divulge their age when asked?

[Spotastic]

Does anyone here divulge their age when asked?

Sure. No real reason for me to hide it.

[Rising Sun]

Only my approximative age. I don't tell my exact age because I don't want to be recognized by people who know me outside of AVEN (only my last partner and 2 friends know my sexual orientation, I don't want to come out to anyone else and I do what I can to avoid coming out by accident as it happened with one of my friends). It's the problem with personal data gone public.

[vervain]

We'll be making fudge and lemon squares and brookies for the rest of the family this year. We did it last year, too, and we really enjoyed it, so we're doing it again. That will at least bring some joy to us for the holidays. :D

Brookies are new to me but they look amazing. I think I may just need to try concocting some (when I get somewhere with an oven).

eee > I wouldn't mind in principle, but when I'm asked I generally have a total blank. People think I'm acting, but I'm not -- I genuinely can't remember on the spot. Sometimes I make a guess which is around 1 or 2 years out.

[iff]

Does anyone here divulge their age when asked?

I tell them I'm 73 and then offer to show them a really horrible picture of me that i have in my attic :D

i tell them the truth, no other reason to not do so.

[A Taste of Harmony]

@vervain

I can relate to you. I go one step further. I ask which year is now and then start doing basic arithmetics. :p Yesterday I really thought next year is 2014.

@iff

reveal! reveal! reveal! *goes into iff's attic and looks around*

Oh oh.. try 78 next time. 78 is a combination of luck and infinity. Yeap, I've just made that up. ^_^

[iff]

nothing to reveal but http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray

[Tanwen]

The last Christmas I actually enjoyed was 1966, my dad died 22 Dec 1967 and mum mourned him the rest of her life (she died in 2010). My life consisted of making sure she was OK and lurching from one anniversary after another (their wedding day, his birthday and his death); she was a nightmare to llive with for about a month either side. The last couple of years she suffered from dementia and things were worse than ever...I dreaded Christmas.

Last couple of years John and I have gone to my other son's for Christmas dinner/evening. Not doing anything much but company and watching silly films...last year it was 'Despciable Me 2'. This year we're having dinner with Linda's brother and his wife/family. I don't do 'socialising' so I'm not sure I'm going to enjoy it - I'll let you know after the event :)

[DexM]

@Tenebrae- There is a very old fashioned term in England, (at least there is up where I live) a cheeky/vulgar term for sex, and it's called "rogering." So I guess the giggle-fest came down to some sort of childish, bestiality joke.

@Spot- You seem to have similar situations to me: A family member who just doesn't get it. How comes we are always the bad guy though? Could you Skype those relatives who are such a distance away?

I do think Rising Sun has the best idea. A Christmas alone. It sounds bliss and carefree. Again, I hope that doesn't upset anyone, I know I should count my blessings, but the way the situation is, can only make me feel resentment towards the day. When I was seriously ill, when I was dying in fact, I coped a hell of a lot better with all the stress, and I find that strange. Now, as a fully (relatively fit person, one with hope and confidence in my life, I buckle at the strain. Part of that is down to a dysfunctional family, one who spends the whole year fighting, bitching, back stabbing and arguing, and then come together at Christmas and pretend.

As for the commercial/consumer side of things: I prefer it. I don't mind queues and the like, it's kind of expected at this time of the year and I like the fact that shopping is a lot easier. The fact that Jesus was born has gone completely out of the window. The Snowman is more important.

I do disclose my age whenever I can. Mainly because at 36 I can still pass as 21 and I love giving people that jaw dropping moment :o

@vervain- My nephews ex kept rabbits and ferrets. It used to get quite heated in that garden

[Skycaptain]

Someone local to me has a ferret and walks it around the streets on a lead. Rabbits yes, but not near cats. My last buck rabbit 🐰 was definitely not Ace!! Poor next door's tomcat

[vervain]

<drops jaw>

Dex... You're 36 ??? No waaaay...

[Spotastic]

@Dex - It seems like there are really a lot of ways that we are alike - both the good and the bad. :) I'm not really much of a Skyper, mainly because I hate to talk to people in person. It is possible I might send some texts back and forth for a while or have a Google hangout or something. One of my nephews also has Asperger's like me and I'm sure he would appreciate texts versus talking.

[Autumn Sunrise]

Someone local to me has a ferret and walks it around the streets on a lead. Rabbits yes, but not near cats. My last buck rabbit was definitely not Ace!! Poor next door's tomcat

I'm confused, 'Captain - was that buck rabbit gay??

[Tenebrae]

I would dearly love a Christmas where it was just me and my partner doing the things we want. I could send the presents via snail mail (which I still adore doing) and I could have my happy time alone and away from all the drama. or the boringness..

Partner's family is a little "special" One year, we sat in their front room from 10 - 5 reading magazines... and discussing the articles in the magazines. I was desperate that year for a tiny smidgen of MY family drama. WE didn't even EAT until 5. No baked goods, no cheese, no veggies. it was awful.

We didn't even leave the house until 10 that night.. and there was nothing offered after dinner either. No after supper coffee or sweets or wine or anything. Just more magazines and the state of the economy.

@Autumn I think rabbits can be gay.

[Skycaptain]

Rabbits are omnisexual. They will try and have sex with anything, not just female rabbits

[Cimmerian]

Does anyone here divulge their age when asked?

Not really. I dislike the idea of being recognized by anyone who may stumble upon me online, like Rising Sun said. I like my privacy. :) Besides, once a number exists out there then there is a sentiment attached to it for anyone who knows. It's more enjoyable for me to be able to act my age, young, and old as it strikes me and the situation demands.

[vervain]

@Spot > I hate the telephone with a passion. It is very useful at times but it freaks me out when people unexpectedly call me, and I am always scared to ring people in case I disturb them. Then when you do get to talk to someone you can't see their expressions and gestures, and they can't see yours (which is a problem for me as I am a slow speaker and rely a lot on gesture to indicate to the other person that I am listening to them and preparing a response. For this reason I prefer the video option on Skype. One of the best Skype conversations I've had was a video call with my friend talking to me, and me making faces on camera and writing replies in the chat bar underneath. It was perfect.

I am not formally diagnosed with Asperger's (I got to 29 or so before the possibility was suggested to me, and the person who suggested it did not feel there was much benefit in obtaining a diagnosis at that stage in life) but I tick almost all the boxes and there are family precedents, so privately I am fairly convinced.

Anyway, I meant to tell you all my no. 1 pet hate at Christmas : the Father Christmas thing. My parents were really keen, it was magical and special and so forth and they got worried that my grandparents labelling presents "from granny and grandpa christmas" would make me realise it wasn't real.

But how are you meant to sleep peacefully at night with a scary, unknown old man breaking into the house ??? (My home is my private, safe space ; to this day I do not tolerate strangers in my place). And anyway, why would you want presents from a random stranger who doesn't even know you ? How could unsolicited presents from a stranger (really dodgy, this, no ? never mind sitting on random people's laps, I hate being touched) possibly be more special, exciting. meaningful than presents from people I love ?? I was so relieved when my parents realised how unhappy it made me and stopped trying to pretend.

I know many people find Father Christmas lots of fun, and that's great for them. What I resent is the widespread expectation that everyone should find it fun just because some people do. I was as scared of Father Christmas as of evil fairies or the Roald Dahl witches -- but you are rarely asked to meet the latter in real life, much less encouraged to run into their open arms.