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For 30-somethings and those around that age

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Autumn Season   
Autumn Season
30 minutes ago, grayRabbit said:

I read somewhere recently that caffeine and other stimulants have a calming effect on people with attention difficulties and high energy, like ADHD and the like. I didn't realize until then that the prescriptions for such were stimulants.

This might also explain, why hard rock can calm me down and calm music can piss me off sometimes.

I'm not sure how I fit in though. I don't have... energy or adhd. Maybe attention difficulty.

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grayRabbit   
grayRabbit
22 minutes ago, Autumn Season said:

This might also explain, why hard rock can calm me down and calm music can piss me off sometimes.

I'm not sure how I fit in though. I don't have... energy or adhd. Maybe attention difficulty.

Coffee doesn't make me sleepy [though sunlight can be very relaxing] but your statements above fit me very well. :D 

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Skycaptain   
Skycaptain

at the right time of day (lunch) coffee can knock me out, but after about 1600, I'll have Une nuit blanche

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AnotherMember   
AnotherMember
2 hours ago, grayRabbit said:

I read somewhere recently that caffeine and other stimulants have a calming effect on people with attention difficulties and high energy, like ADHD and the like. I didn't realize until then that the prescriptions for such were stimulants.

Interesting! :o 

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IntellectualAsexual   
IntellectualAsexual

I just read "the last illusion" by Porochista Khakpour. It was on a list of asexual books. It is about this boy who was raised as a bird by his mother in Persia (Iran), and then his sister finds out and calls the police. He is adopted by an american who was married to a persian woman, who has a fascination with feral children. He raises him as his son, and is surprised when he goes further than expected. It mentions him as being asexual or near asexual several times in the book. He does eventually have sex though and relationships (more than one), but he doesn't distinguish between gender and at 22 never kissed before, and viewed it as a chore in the beginning. It has the beginning of the millennia and then the bombing of the World Trade Center in it. Was hard to find a book about asexuals at my local library. But it was alright.

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Stark   
Stark

Hello! I am a newbie! Its adorable, I know!

 

I was looking on here for folks around my chronological age, so this topic works out well.

 

I am also quite new to forums. I've mainly only used facebook, tumblr, and old school AOL [I feel like a dinosaur typing that].

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Snao Çoñé   
Snao Çoñé

Welcome @Stark! :cake: You came to a good place. We chat about all sorts of things here. :)

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Stark   
Stark

Awesome! Thanks @Snao Çoñé I am ready to discuss anything really [what most ace-folk talk about; geekery, food, and how does this work?]. Really reaching out looking for community as I am in an awkward position with my local one; I can't connect with them as peers :(

 

Being in my 30ies I've reached out and tried quite a few things at this point. I've tried different forms of sexual intimacy, different kinds of relationships, and explored as much as I could and now feel quite solidified within my identity, needs, and expressions. Sometimes exploration leads to triumphs or discomforts and even internalized sense of self-betrayal. Though human sexuality, expression, and attraction are not discussed enough in our education systems and culture. That leads to a great deal of us often aimlessly wondering around for sometime. I love seeing and hearing so many kiddos discovering a sense of true self so early. While I did not, I am still glad for the journey that I did have.  :cake:

 

I find that many of the Ace folks I do find in my area are generally younger, teens or early twenties, or on the spectrum. I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum so I often feel as though I'm engaging a client and not a friend or someone with the potential of something more. That in-and-of-itself is often a difficult thing for me to express as there is a cultural sensitivity to discussing Autism Spectrum and Asexuality close together, due to the various layers of stigma, misinformation, and defensiveness there; which I can completely understand.

 

Forums are still quite foreign to me as well. I feel like an old man getting confused over, 'how does this work!?' :lol:

 

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LVG   
LVG

Welcome @Stark

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wulfgar83   
wulfgar83
On 8/11/2017 at 9:56 AM, Snao Çoñé said:

I get too comfortable napping, so I stay longer than 15 minutes, at which point it makes me feel more tired. Lately I've been feeling like napping all the time. :unsure: Yet I can't fall asleep until after 1 in the morning.

That's one thing I've never been able to do, take a nap. I'm too naturally high strung for that.

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grayRabbit   
grayRabbit
22 minutes ago, wulfgar83 said:

That's one thing I've never been able to do, take a nap. I'm too naturally high strung for that.

Similar. I have on rare occasions but it usually doesn't work.

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Skycaptain   
Skycaptain

@Stark, welcome :cake::cake:

 

 

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LVG   
LVG

I used to never be able to nap. Now, it just comes naturally. Guess that's one sign I'm getting older. 

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sparklingstars   
sparklingstars

I feel like I nap way too much, especially on the weekend if I don't have anything going on.  If I don't keep myself busy and stay off the couch, I will fall asleep at some point.  

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Snao Çoñé   
Snao Çoñé
11 hours ago, Stark said:

Awesome! Thanks @Snao Çoñé I am ready to discuss anything really [what most ace-folk talk about; geekery, food, and how does this work?]. Really reaching out looking for community as I am in an awkward position with my local one; I can't connect with them as peers :(

 

Being in my 30ies I've reached out and tried quite a few things at this point. I've tried different forms of sexual intimacy, different kinds of relationships, and explored as much as I could and now feel quite solidified within my identity, needs, and expressions. Sometimes exploration leads to triumphs or discomforts and even internalized sense of self-betrayal. Though human sexuality, expression, and attraction are not discussed enough in our education systems and culture. That leads to a great deal of us often aimlessly wondering around for sometime. I love seeing and hearing so many kiddos discovering a sense of true self so early. While I did not, I am still glad for the journey that I did have.  :cake:

 

I find that many of the Ace folks I do find in my area are generally younger, teens or early twenties, or on the spectrum. I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum so I often feel as though I'm engaging a client and not a friend or someone with the potential of something more. That in-and-of-itself is often a difficult thing for me to express as there is a cultural sensitivity to discussing Autism Spectrum and Asexuality close together, due to the various layers of stigma, misinformation, and defensiveness there; which I can completely understand.

 

Forums are still quite foreign to me as well. I feel like an old man getting confused over, 'how does this work!?' :lol:

 

This thread is a general chatting thread, so you can bring up whatever you want here at any time if you want to discuss it with your fellow 30-somethings (in age and spirit). Geekery and food happen to be common topics here for sure, along with remembering the 90s and commiserating with each other as our bodies break down. :P

 

If you want to find other chatting-type threads that have a wider range of members, that's what The Chatterbox is for. Some have themes and some don't; just snoop around and introduce yourself if you feel like you want to join!

 

Discussing overlap of asexuality and other things, including the autism spectrum, can be found over in Intersectionality.

 

For threads about deeper understanding of a/sexuality and related topics that aren't really discussed schools or society, you can find some topics on the more asexual side of that in Asexual Musings and Rantings, and the more ambiguously sexual sides in The Gray Area and its subforum The Sex Talk.

 

As genderqueer person you might also find relevant conversations in the Gender Discussion forum, as many members here find their a/sexuality intertwines with gender identity just as they do for sexual people.

 

You can take part in as few or as many threads as you feel comfortable. In any case everyone's goal here is to form a sense of community, so please make yourself feel welcome! If you venture into scary corners where people argue endlessly over the same point over and over again, you can always retreat back here. :D

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AnotherMember   
AnotherMember

@Stark Can you have enough cake? Never!! Not in Aven!! So you have more welcome cake now. :cake::o 

 

I think Aven is the first forum I used for real, maybe the first one? I was a bit scared when newbie, but look at me now, I'm a full grown Avenite :P with so many posts :wacko:, most of them, offering cake, talking nonsense in the JFF and chatterbox zone and welcoming newbies.  :) 

 

I dedicate to you my post number 5776. :P 

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Autumn Season   
Autumn Season
6 hours ago, Iam-me said:

with so many posts :wacko:, most of them, offering cake, talking nonsense in the JFF and chatterbox zone and welcoming newbies.  :) 

And, in my case, double-posting during crappy internet time. :P

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Cimmerian   
Cimmerian
On 8/13/2017 at 7:04 PM, LVG said:

I used to never be able to nap. Now, it just comes naturally. Guess that's one sign I'm getting older. 

Same, and my thoughts exactly.

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October Country   
October Country

I'm tempted to curl up in a ball under my desk and take a nap right now :mellow:

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Snao Çoñé   
Snao Çoñé

I napped regularly when I was unemployed, but what else did I have to do? 

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LVG   
LVG

Right I currently feel unemployed with how slow work is. I know most people wouldn't complain about getting paid for goofing off during work hours, but it really makes the day drag. I actually considered calling off "sick" just so I wouldn't have to come in. 

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Snao Çoñé   
Snao Çoñé

I've had jobs like that. It was difficult to get through the day without overthinking my life and feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere.

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Autumn Season   
Autumn Season

I'm not sure whether I want to work at the same place as last semester again, because a lot of the time I was sitting around uselessly, doing stuff like reorganizing my desktop. I was/ am afraid that secretly my co-workers thought I was just wasting space.

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gremlinbaby   
gremlinbaby

My oldest started school today. My youngest starts school tomorrow. Even though I work in the evenings until 10pm I find myself waking up at 5am. I'm thinking I'll spend the next couple of weeks to a month getting in some really good naps...so sleepy...

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borkfork   
borkfork

a07RrKm.jpg

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bluedragonwings   
bluedragonwings

Jobs are demoralizing. Especially when you work for employers who hate the fact they exist. 

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Snao Çoñé   
Snao Çoñé
4 hours ago, borkfork said:

a07RrKm.jpg

I'm screaming.

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Cimmerian   
Cimmerian
5 hours ago, borkfork said:

a07RrKm.jpg

I thought the top dog had the second dog in its mouth at first. ^^; This is much cuter.

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Snao Çoñé   
Snao Çoñé

The difference in colour is almost like my dogs. :wub:

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wulfgar83   
wulfgar83
On 8/16/2017 at 10:13 AM, LVG said:

Right I currently feel unemployed with how slow work is. I know most people wouldn't complain about getting paid for goofing off during work hours, but it really makes the day drag. I actually considered calling off "sick" just so I wouldn't have to come in. 

I know how you feel there. My job can be pretty boring at times when there really isn't anything to do. I should be happy that I have a job that's so easy at times and all I do is just sit around but it makes the day go by so much slower. 

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