Keeda Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 On Sunday, March 12, 2017 at 2:30 PM, CaptainYesterday said: How do you make new friends at 30? Oh gosh, what a relief to find this little pocket of AVEN, finally people on my wavelength! Toast no, sushi yes and avocado in most circumstances. Also, happy to hear the visa thing is working out, all the best xx So, making friends at 30+? I think being an extrovert helps! I moved to the other side of the world only 2 years ago (I'm 31 now) so consider myself somewhat of an expert. I would say the short answer (as proven by this forum) is FOOD. Everyone eats food, i like food, therefore i like people that like food and eating together gives you time but a task to distract if things get weird. But it really does help to just say "I'm new and have no friends. Wanna hang out?" 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Allegra Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Welcome @CrownFireDaylily and @Keeda!! You know, even though I do love riding my bike, I still have moments where all I can think is "please don't die please don't die..." Mostly in relation to cars and trucks. But I try to remind myself that most people don't want to kill anyone else and at least try to be safe drivers, so as long as I try to be a safe cyclist I hope we all win in the end. And I wear my damn helmet. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lilgroundhog Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Making friends after moving cross country is hard, especially if you are an introvert. Also not understanding half of pop culture doesn't make it any easier. I'm still finding my circle of friends and I've been here for 2 1/2 years now. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Since I haven't moved outside of my home city, I can't really start fresh in a new environment - meaning new friends I try to make will probably know existing friends and family members and whatnot, when I don't want them to. I like to keep parts of my life separate to give me balance as well as an alternative place of refuge if I want to get away from a certain group of people and/or the drama they create. Plus I am mildly introverted, so socializing does take up energy rather than give it back. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keeda Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Has anyone seen those Swedish (i think) 'helmets' that are actually neck scarves that inflate on impact like airbags? Fashionable and functional... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mauru Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 8 hours ago, Keeda said: Has anyone seen those Swedish (i think) 'helmets' that are actually neck scarves that inflate on impact like airbags? Fashionable and functional... I've seen them. Shame they are so expensive Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GizzieAce Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Hi all - glad to find this little pocket on the forum 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LVG Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Welcome to all newbies! I used Meetup.com to find new friends. I was lucky to make a really a good friend on the very meetup I ever attended. She in turn introduced to me a lot of other new people. In my opinion, weekly events, such as trivia or board games night, are the best way to make friends because the same people tend to go every week. You can gradually get to know them. It makes building a relationship a little easier. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
aeimquy159 Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 I won't care about wearing a bike helmet. I could ride a bike down busy street blindfolded, yelling "look mom, no hands" and it would still be safer than what I do for fun. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 I've heard mixed reviews of how effective Meetup.com groups can be at establishing friendships. Someone from AVEN came into town from out of province to go to such a meetup this weekend and was very disappointed. Luckily she had fun with us AVENites the next day Oh hey, shameless plug - if any of you have gone to ace meetups of any kind, the site magazine AVENues is looking for submissions on those things: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/152395-avenues-marchapril-2017/ The submission info is on the second half of the first post of that thread. You can answer the questions on our google form, or write something if you want to! (I'm a co-editor, hence plugging this.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 I'm trying to think of something to say about meet ups, but I'm drawing a blank. Maybe I'll have something after the next one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bluedragonwings Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 I havent gone to a meetup, mostly because I am not sure enough of myself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keeda Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 3 hours ago, aeimquy159 said: I won't care about wearing a bike helmet. I could ride a bike down busy street blindfolded, yelling "look mom, no hands" and it would still be safer than what I do for fun. I'm so intrigued... do tell Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DebtheDemi Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 I haven't ridden a bike in years, but I'd like to think I'd wear a helmet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 I don't bike either, but I'm thinking of getting a bike. I wouldn't like wearing a helmet, but I think I would have to on principle. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Just now, Snao Çoñé said: I wouldn't like wearing a helmet, but I think I would have to on principle. Same. It would make my hair all flat. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Yup, and I prefer the round style that goes to the back of the head instead of the oval shape, which doesn't work out well with always having my hair tied back in a low bun. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Allegra Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 ^ Those round ones all seem to have more creative designs and patterns anyway! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 5 hours ago, SummerBee said: ^ Those round ones all seem to have more creative designs and patterns anyway! Yeah, I'm not sure if I would want one plain or one with a design I actually like. I tend to err on the side of plain. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 My cycle helmet is plain red. A bright coloured helmet helps other road users to see you in poor light as well Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lilgroundhog Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Both of the meetup.com groups I'm a part of, I actually found other ways and that's just one technology we use to communicate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sparklingstars Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I've never had much luck making friends thru Meetup. I did make one friend at a Meetup group for introverts ; the group doesn't meet anymore but my friend and I have been getting together for coffee about once a month. Other then that, every group I tried seemed to have different people coming each time, so I never got to know anyone very well. On the other hand, I've really enjoyed the few AVEN gathering that I've attended, and met some cool people there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DebtheDemi Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I'm actually about to close the Meetup I started. I forgot Delawareans don't like to actually meet up. lol I'm wasting my money. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Allegra Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I really like the idea of Meetup, but because I'm incredibly shy when it comes to meeting new people, especially in large groups, the only one I've ever technically attended was my first AVEN meetup last month. (And I say "technically" because I heard about it here, not on Meetup.) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
njosnavelin Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 News flash a bike offer zero protection to a two ton vehicle. The best defense is your judgment. Don't put yourself in situations that risk your safety or other's. The next best defense is your helmet. It is only there if the first defense failed. I lived with a roommate who got in two bike accidents. Because of those accidents he has a messed up leg making it tough for him to walk and a speech impediment, he didn't wear a helmet both times. Please wear a helmet -- for my roommate. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Please stop at red lights FFS. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I hate it when cyclists completely neglect traffic lights because they think they can get away with it. I mean, as a pedestrian I jaywalk sometimes, but... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I remember having a friend from NYC visit me in LA. She stepped onto Hollywood Blvd before the little man light and nearly got hit. The person next to me and I pulled her back onto the sidewalk. You can get away with that in residential areas, but no, we were right by where all the street traffic funnels through up to Universal City and Burbank in a commercial area on a 6 lane boulevard. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Yeah, I use common sense when doing that. I'm generally on the safe side of things. I'm very much aware that the street is filled with two-ton weapons putting me at risk. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
njosnavelin Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 It depends on the situation. - A lots of traffic no way I stop at red lights even act like a vehicle. - Little to no traffic I will look both ways and go. - An all walk crossing for the peds I will go. - The weather is terrible I will wait if there is lots of traffic but go under circumstances of weather. My ride home tonight I went through maybe 4 red lights out of 20 on my route. Every single light take certain situations of caution into consideration. I don't just "blow" through them. Especially if I am not sure of an area and the traffic signal patterns. Absolutely not! I will never put myself in a bind spots of cars, buses, and trucks. I will never maneuver myself between tight spaces of vehicles. I will yield to right turning traffic if they can't see me. I will never pass a slow cyclist until the traffic is clear and the situation permits me to safely and swiftly pass them. I hate other cyclist who do not do not adhere to these rules it puts themselves in danger and others. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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