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For 30-somethings and those around that age


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Awesome! Thanks @Snao Çoñé I am ready to discuss anything really [what most ace-folk talk about; geekery, food, and how does this work?]. Really reaching out looking for community as I am in an awkward position with my local one; I can't connect with them as peers :(

 

Being in my 30ies I've reached out and tried quite a few things at this point. I've tried different forms of sexual intimacy, different kinds of relationships, and explored as much as I could and now feel quite solidified within my identity, needs, and expressions. Sometimes exploration leads to triumphs or discomforts and even internalized sense of self-betrayal. Though human sexuality, expression, and attraction are not discussed enough in our education systems and culture. That leads to a great deal of us often aimlessly wondering around for sometime. I love seeing and hearing so many kiddos discovering a sense of true self so early. While I did not, I am still glad for the journey that I did have.  :cake:

 

I find that many of the Ace folks I do find in my area are generally younger, teens or early twenties, or on the spectrum. I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum so I often feel as though I'm engaging a client and not a friend or someone with the potential of something more. That in-and-of-itself is often a difficult thing for me to express as there is a cultural sensitivity to discussing Autism Spectrum and Asexuality close together, due to the various layers of stigma, misinformation, and defensiveness there; which I can completely understand.

 

Forums are still quite foreign to me as well. I feel like an old man getting confused over, 'how does this work!?' :lol:

 

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On 8/11/2017 at 9:56 AM, Snao Çoñé said:

I get too comfortable napping, so I stay longer than 15 minutes, at which point it makes me feel more tired. Lately I've been feeling like napping all the time. :unsure: Yet I can't fall asleep until after 1 in the morning.

That's one thing I've never been able to do, take a nap. I'm too naturally high strung for that.

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22 minutes ago, wulfgar83 said:

That's one thing I've never been able to do, take a nap. I'm too naturally high strung for that.

Similar. I have on rare occasions but it usually doesn't work.

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@Stark, welcome :cake::cake:

 

 

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I used to never be able to nap. Now, it just comes naturally. Guess that's one sign I'm getting older. 

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sparklingstars

I feel like I nap way too much, especially on the weekend if I don't have anything going on.  If I don't keep myself busy and stay off the couch, I will fall asleep at some point.  

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11 hours ago, Stark said:

Awesome! Thanks @Snao Çoñé I am ready to discuss anything really [what most ace-folk talk about; geekery, food, and how does this work?]. Really reaching out looking for community as I am in an awkward position with my local one; I can't connect with them as peers :(

 

Being in my 30ies I've reached out and tried quite a few things at this point. I've tried different forms of sexual intimacy, different kinds of relationships, and explored as much as I could and now feel quite solidified within my identity, needs, and expressions. Sometimes exploration leads to triumphs or discomforts and even internalized sense of self-betrayal. Though human sexuality, expression, and attraction are not discussed enough in our education systems and culture. That leads to a great deal of us often aimlessly wondering around for sometime. I love seeing and hearing so many kiddos discovering a sense of true self so early. While I did not, I am still glad for the journey that I did have.  :cake:

 

I find that many of the Ace folks I do find in my area are generally younger, teens or early twenties, or on the spectrum. I work with a lot of folks on the spectrum so I often feel as though I'm engaging a client and not a friend or someone with the potential of something more. That in-and-of-itself is often a difficult thing for me to express as there is a cultural sensitivity to discussing Autism Spectrum and Asexuality close together, due to the various layers of stigma, misinformation, and defensiveness there; which I can completely understand.

 

Forums are still quite foreign to me as well. I feel like an old man getting confused over, 'how does this work!?' :lol:

 

This thread is a general chatting thread, so you can bring up whatever you want here at any time if you want to discuss it with your fellow 30-somethings (in age and spirit). Geekery and food happen to be common topics here for sure, along with remembering the 90s and commiserating with each other as our bodies break down. :P

 

If you want to find other chatting-type threads that have a wider range of members, that's what The Chatterbox is for. Some have themes and some don't; just snoop around and introduce yourself if you feel like you want to join!

 

Discussing overlap of asexuality and other things, including the autism spectrum, can be found over in Intersectionality.

 

For threads about deeper understanding of a/sexuality and related topics that aren't really discussed schools or society, you can find some topics on the more asexual side of that in Asexual Musings and Rantings, and the more ambiguously sexual sides in The Gray Area and its subforum The Sex Talk.

 

As genderqueer person you might also find relevant conversations in the Gender Discussion forum, as many members here find their a/sexuality intertwines with gender identity just as they do for sexual people.

 

You can take part in as few or as many threads as you feel comfortable. In any case everyone's goal here is to form a sense of community, so please make yourself feel welcome! If you venture into scary corners where people argue endlessly over the same point over and over again, you can always retreat back here. :D

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

@Stark Can you have enough cake? Never!! Not in Aven!! So you have more welcome cake now. :cake::o 

 

I think Aven is the first forum I used for real, maybe the first one? I was a bit scared when newbie, but look at me now, I'm a full grown Avenite :P with so many posts :wacko:, most of them, offering cake, talking nonsense in the JFF and chatterbox zone and welcoming newbies.  :) 

 

I dedicate to you my post number 5776. :P 

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Autumn Season
6 hours ago, Iam-me said:

with so many posts :wacko:, most of them, offering cake, talking nonsense in the JFF and chatterbox zone and welcoming newbies.  :) 

And, in my case, double-posting during crappy internet time. :P

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On 8/13/2017 at 7:04 PM, LVG said:

I used to never be able to nap. Now, it just comes naturally. Guess that's one sign I'm getting older. 

Same, and my thoughts exactly.

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Elftober Country

I'm tempted to curl up in a ball under my desk and take a nap right now :mellow:

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I napped regularly when I was unemployed, but what else did I have to do? 

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Right I currently feel unemployed with how slow work is. I know most people wouldn't complain about getting paid for goofing off during work hours, but it really makes the day drag. I actually considered calling off "sick" just so I wouldn't have to come in. 

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I've had jobs like that. It was difficult to get through the day without overthinking my life and feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere.

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Autumn Season

I'm not sure whether I want to work at the same place as last semester again, because a lot of the time I was sitting around uselessly, doing stuff like reorganizing my desktop. I was/ am afraid that secretly my co-workers thought I was just wasting space.

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My oldest started school today. My youngest starts school tomorrow. Even though I work in the evenings until 10pm I find myself waking up at 5am. I'm thinking I'll spend the next couple of weeks to a month getting in some really good naps...so sleepy...

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bluedragonwings

Jobs are demoralizing. Especially when you work for employers who hate the fact they exist. 

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5 hours ago, borkfork said:

a07RrKm.jpg

I thought the top dog had the second dog in its mouth at first. ^^; This is much cuter.

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On 8/16/2017 at 10:13 AM, LVG said:

Right I currently feel unemployed with how slow work is. I know most people wouldn't complain about getting paid for goofing off during work hours, but it really makes the day drag. I actually considered calling off "sick" just so I wouldn't have to come in. 

I know how you feel there. My job can be pretty boring at times when there really isn't anything to do. I should be happy that I have a job that's so easy at times and all I do is just sit around but it makes the day go by so much slower. 

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For the last 90 minutes at work all I've done is drink coffee and AVEN :unsure:

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Elftober Country
16 minutes ago, Skycaptain said:

For the last 90 minutes at work all I've done is drink coffee and AVEN :unsure:

I'm at work. I should not be reading this :blink:

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6 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

For the last 90 minutes at work all I've done is drink coffee and AVEN :unsure:

Is it tasty? :huh: You look a little unsure if drinking both at the same time was a good idea.

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Hunter of Artemis

Hey all! Just turned 30 a couple months ago. Still getting used to the new decade, but so far it's going well!

 

I see we're talking coffee/caffeine? I'm only slightly addicted. I'm a teacher and I need my morning go-go juice at least an hour before dealing with the kids. However I will say it's less about the caffeine and more about the hot beverage for me. Even naturally non-caffeinated teas work to get me going.

 

Anyone have a coffee brand/style they swear by? I'm usually a Folgers mid-roast person, but I love me some Tim Hortons when I get the chance! (I'm from the Midwest, not a lot of Timmy's out here.)

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6 hours ago, Artemis' Hunter said:

Hey all! Just turned 30 a couple months ago. Still getting used to the new decade, but so far it's going well!

Don't worry it's not all that bad, 30 is the new 20, and all that...  The older you get the less important it seems to be!  I'm chugging along in my mid-30's (33), still feel like a 18 year old in many ways though...

 

If we are talking coffee then it has to be black straight from the percolator!  I am trying to limit my coffee to 1 or 2 cups a day now, but I've *always* got time for at least 1 cup......

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Sage Raven Domino
12 hours ago, Artemis' Hunter said:

Hey all! Just turned 30 a couple months ago. Still getting used to the new decade, but so far it's going well!

Welcome! :cake:

 

The '3' in front of the age does have a surprising psychological effect on me as if I were so much older. It's the same effect as in pricing - a $29 price is used to make customers feel that it's 'much smaller' than $30 (though some customers like me overadjust to this effect and think that an item that costs $29 is much less useful than ones that cost 'honest' $30).

 

However, the decimal numeration system is rather artificial. You're 11110 years old in the binary system, so your age is still 5-digit and feels much younger than the age of 100000. I think it's more natural to use 100000 as a milestone age than 30.

 

On a side note, your avatar is terrific :wub::blush:

Edited by EMPrise
fixed the binary numbers
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I used to live next to a Starbucks and relied on their Pike Place. Now that I make coffee at home most of the time, I go with Kicking Horse brand, Smart Ass roast. Because of course I do. :P

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