michaeld Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Personally, I think phone is the worst way to communicate with someone, it's in between the full flexibility of face to face communication and yet not quite like written text where you can take more time to build your sentences. Very good point. I agree. The theory also fits with the interview I did with Aftenposten, a Norwegian paper, which was not bad at all. There, although I did it over skype, my interviewer was using a webcam. (I wasn't; I didn't have one at the time, but of course that only affected him not me.) Ever since I've had my computer with a webcam, I've been using it to call people on skype, and I've found the dynamic is totally different to voicecalls. Not only do you get extra cues from body language, but if you're viewing each other, you don't feel like you have to talk constantly to keep the thing going. It's more like sitting in the same room as someone. Link to post Share on other sites
mylittlehazmat Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Bwaha, I'm farrrr to neurotic to video call someone. ;_; Link to post Share on other sites
RandomDent Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Personally, I think phone is the worst way to communicate with someone, it's in between the full flexibility of face to face communication and yet not quite like written text where you can take more time to build your sentences. Absolutely. I rely very much on expressions and gestures to get my point across. Phones are the work of the devil. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I got the magazine the other day! First of all, I think Rob did a good job. It was only an interview, with no article to go with it. Some of the answers were I think slight paraphrases of what I said - which I don't mind as it didn't appear in quotes - but there were no serious inaccuracies or misrepresentations (unlike some other articles I've participated in). So kudos! As far as my interview itself goes: it's not a bad job, though there's nothing especially new or insightful in it. If any non-Americans want a defining example of what "101" means, this is it! I think it gets the idea across well, to people who have never heard of asexuality before. Link to post Share on other sites
mylittlehazmat Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I saw it, and was like, whu did this? :o and then I remembered and I was like OOH IT'S MICHAELLLL *runs off to congratulate him; gets distracted and forgets everything* ... <_< As for your sister ... D: Whutthebloodyhell. Erm, congrats on the article? x.x Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I saw it, and was like, whu did this? :o and then I remembered and I was like OOH IT'S MICHAELLLL *runs off to congratulate him; gets distracted and forgets everything* ... <_< As for your sister ... D: Whutthebloodyhell. Erm, congrats on the article? x.x Hang on a sec!!! How the heck did you see this? I thought FHM wasn't published in N.America any more (and even if it was I wouldn't expect it to be the same as the British edition). Thanks for the congrats anyway! :D Link to post Share on other sites
mylittlehazmat Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 It went all over asexy Tumblr, Michael. :P Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 It went all over asexy Tumblr, Michael. :P Oh OK. Thanks. I don't really understand how Tumblr works. Can I view whatever went round via a link? Link to post Share on other sites
mylittlehazmat Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 That's the image that went around. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 That's the image that went around. Thanks Haz! I just found the Tumblr postings. Thanks to everyone who plugged this - especially Ninny who, if my limited understanding of Tumblr is correct, started the thing off! It's kind of weird - I didn't know anyone else in the asexy community had even seen this article until I saw Haz's post! I'm obviously really out of the loop by not being on Tumblr... Link to post Share on other sites
AorNay Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I very rarely venture out of the meet-up section of the forum, but on this occasion I will just to say that was an awesome interview. I don't think it could have come across any better, and it portrays everything in a really good light. Good job Michael :) Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I very rarely venture out of the meet-up section of the forum, but on this occasion I will just to say that was an awesome interview. I don't think it could have come across any better, and it portrays everything in a really good light. Good job Michael :) Thanks! Just to address the only semi-criticism I've seen on Tumblr: #although I'm disappointed that the person being interviewed said he would choose not be asexual #that's cool for him but I hope people know that there are also asexuals who wouldn't choose to change even if they could Yes I understand. Of course my main priority was to answer truthfully. While I understand some people may not be happy that this answer may be taken as implying that asexuality is not a desirable state, there are some advantages to this response too. In particular, it underlines the fact that my asexuality is not a choice. I think the very last sentence of the interview is also a little unfortunate - conflating a sexual orientation with a behaviour. Either this was a transcription error or (much more likely) I simply misspoke. :( But yeah, on the whole I'm quite happy with the article. I'm really amazed at the response from the asexual community - currently counting 151 "notes" on Tumblr! This was definitely not something I was expecting. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninny Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Micheald, I take my hat off to you, and to FHM!! I'm really blushing now after all the fuss I made about a 'lads mag' doing a piece on asexuality :lol:. As I said on Tumblr, it really is one of the best pieces on asexuality I have ever read. Thank you Micheald for the wonderful job! I put it on Tumblr after it was posted on the asexuality discussion group over on Facebook. I'm glad it's making the rounds! :D So sorry to hear about what is happening to your sister, that's really sad :( I don't tend to use my full name in interviews because I fear the same outcome. *hugs to the both of you* Well done again! Link to post Share on other sites
Herr Joseph von Löthing Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I can't see the image... Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Thanks Ninny! Regarding my sister, apparently some of the other people who worked at her place came to her later and said they found the article really interesting. So it's not all bad. She made me promise not to stop doing these articles nor to start withholding my name either. :) Regarding the lads' mag thing, judging from the other comments on Tumblr, you were certainly not alone in your take on this and were right to be concerned. I must admit I was not too worried. I think if they were going to do a hit-job they'd probably not bother interviewing us and they'd simply quote-mine us from existing articles on the web. You know, it now occurs to me that even if we were talking about a hit-job (which we certainly aren't in this case), it may sometimes be to our advantage to speak to them anyway. After all, we can't stop them publishing the article anyway, using whatever material they can find on the web, and if we speak to them we may clear up at least some of their misconceptions. That's not to say we shouldn't have some vetting system for media requests. I was planning on starting a discussion on this soon, after a few background issues have settled. However my personal take is that we shouldn't necessarily be avoiding potentially-hostile media - at least not in every case. Oh and incidentally, I see the first truly hostile response has appeared on Tumblr! Yay! I was starting to get worried. Here it is. http://choking-on-roses.tumblr.com/post/4668025412 Unfortunately I can't actually make sense of the reply for the most part, but there is one point I'd like to respond to. “Do you experience erections? Yes, the mechanics of an asexual’s body are just the same.” 4. It seems like I need to spell it out for you, A-B-L-E-I-S-M. Well I think I need to point out that disabled people and non-disabled people exist in both the asexual community and outside. And this was all I meant really: most asexual males experience erections though some don't, "just the same" as for males from outside the ace community. Still I do apologize to any male asexuals who don't experience erections, if my response marginalized them. This was definitely not my intention. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninny Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Thanks for the update on your sister, glad there's been some positive responses! :) In regards to hostile media, that's a really good point! We can't control what people write/say about us so we may as well talk to them when approached. Still caution is always good :P i saw that hostile response on Tumblr and I don't really know what to make of it: This is one of the best articles you’ve read? What the fuck are you reading?“Have you ever experiences sexual attraction? No, never. I think you’re born asexual.” 1. Define sexual attraction (sexual fantasies? finding someone cute or aesthetically pleasing? getting along with someone emotionally and getting turned on? etc etc). 2. LOL BORN THIS WAY POLITICS “How does the idea of sex make you feel? I’d imagine it’s similar to how a heterosexual male would feel about having sex with another man - it physically repulses me, but I’m all for people having as much sex as they want.” 3. Thank you, Michael, for providing such a neat little script of heterosexuality that contributes to the notion of monosexuality and binaryism. I lurvs it. “Do you experience erections? Yes, the mechanics of an asexual’s body are just the same.” 4. It seems like I need to spell it out for you, A-B-L-E-I-S-M. And I still don’t understand why they had to try to sexualize the body if this person quite clearly is not interested in that… problematic beezy. Nice try. The whole monosexuality/binaryism thing is rather strange. I think the example you gave was a great, simple way of explaining your feelings towards sex. *shugs* I was considering making a response to them, but I don't know as it's worth the energy, they come across as a nitpicker :P but if you wanna make a response to them I'd be happy to post it on Tumblr. For those who want the article: and tumblr post: http://bountyninny.tumblr.com/post/4556716232/this-month-fhm-magazine-did-a-piece-on-asexuality Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Thanks again Ninny. And no, I don't think I'll bother making a response myself. My only concern is if some people felt marginalized by the erection comment - which is why I addressed that here. I have no desire to try and change that particular person's opinion about the article. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 This is a really really stupid 20th century low-tech question, but is that you in the picture, Michaeld? You are all free to laugh and make derisive comments. If you don't, I'll feel you're just being kind to an old person. I just don't know -- maybe it is? Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 This is a really really stupid 20th century low-tech question, but is that you in the picture, Michaeld? hehe, no. And no, it's not a stupid question because it doesn't say. In fact I have no idea who is in that picture. I'll just say that I'd be fairly unlikely to ever get into a situation where such a pic could be taken! Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 This is a really really stupid 20th century low-tech question, but is that you in the picture, Michaeld? hehe, no. And no, it's not a stupid question because it doesn't say. In fact I have no idea who is in that picture. I'll just say that I'd be fairly unlikely to ever get into a situation where such a pic could be taken! Now that I know it's not you, I actually looked at it closely and saw the women and feel more stupid than ever! All I saw was the guy when I flashed past it. No, it is not an asexual situation; in fact it's not a sexual situation; it's a "commercial" situation and really inappropriate for the interview. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Now that I know it's not you, I actually looked at it closely and saw the women and feel more stupid than ever! All I saw was the guy when I flashed past it. No, it is not an asexual situation; in fact it's not a sexual situation; it's a "commercial" situation and really inappropriate for the interview. Is it? I thought it was just a picture of a guy not looking very interested, despite being in bed with two (presumably attractive) women. Link to post Share on other sites
Tigoness Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I hoped I would live to see this day - asexuality in FHM! Go Michael!!! *bakes you an entire cake* :D I'm almost tempted to actually buy the mag myself, just to have the article! Just read it online. :D Good on you. As for the photo with it, I agree, he looks very uninterested (and cute, though he would be cuter with loooong hair (feels so shallow now) ). Link to post Share on other sites
hexaquark Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Now that I know it's not you, I actually looked at it closely and saw the women and feel more stupid than ever! All I saw was the guy when I flashed past it. No, it is not an asexual situation; in fact it's not a sexual situation; it's a "commercial" situation and really inappropriate for the interview. Is it? I thought it was just a picture of a guy not looking very interested, despite being in bed with two (presumably attractive) women. Yeah this is pretty much how I parsed it too. Good article! Link to post Share on other sites
Ninny Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Hex, that is pure AWESOME. Link to post Share on other sites
hexaquark Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 Hex, that is pure AWESOME. :) Thanks for posting the article on tumblr Ninny. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 Hex, that is pure AWESOME. Indeed! Oh and thanks, Tigoness, for the cake. :D Link to post Share on other sites
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