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Why do I watch porn?


confusedguy23

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confusedguy23

Even though I consider myself asexual I feel a constant urge to watch porn(gay/bi/str8)and though I mostly watch gay porn I often don't understand why when I have no desire to actually do what they are doing. I see what they are doing and that arouses me, but when I actually think about what they are doing it somewhat disgusts me.

Most of the time I just watch it because I'm curious to see what the other guys are "packing" so to speak, but then when they start having sex I lose interest. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's just really confusing and frustating as well. Is there anybody else whose going through this?

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mylittlehazmat

Well you sorta answered your own question. You watch it to see what other guys are packing, so to speak. I've got periods where I watch porn, for no real reason, since it tends not to arouse me enough to actually want to masturbate, so. I find it interesting, knowing that other people get off on this stuff, so it becomes sort of an academic fascination. :P

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browneyedbird

I agree with mylittlehazmat here. I don't watch porn, though - but I do enjoy reading high rating fics (mainly the slashy ones ^_^) and I definitely found for example Queer as Folk very hot. I'm not so keen on watching hetero sex, even though I am a heteroromantic female...but I guess that's a different story...(sorry, bit OT here)

Basically, I find it interesting to look at - as long as the people taking part are somewhat interesting to me personally if that makes any sense. There is a difference between the "normal" porn and sex scenes in high rated movies/series/fics for me, cos when I care for the characters, I can feel for them and that's why I like them having sex. It has nothing to do with my own (a)sexuality.

Hope that makes any sense...

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Even though I consider myself asexual I feel a constant urge to watch porn(gay/bi/str8)and though I mostly watch gay porn I often don't understand why when I have no desire to actually do what they are doing. I see what they are doing and that arouses me, but when I actually think about what they are doing it somewhat disgusts me.

Most of the time I just watch it because I'm curious to see what the other guys are "packing" so to speak, but then when they start having sex I lose interest. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's just really confusing and frustating as well. Is there anybody else whose going through this?

I've had a period in my life where I read/watched quite some amount porn for no apparent reason - and it's not until now when I've started to come to terms with my asexuality that I've started watching porn less frequently - I think it might have been some compulsive way for me to compensate for the sexual feelings I in actuality don't have. But I still watch porn, and I can't really explain why to myself. Like you, I never feel any urges to do what I see in pornography and although I can find some specifik things arousing, others can be downright disgusting.

But I can agree with lemmesay, I think fanfiction can be genuinly interesting and worth reading since it involves characters I know and love - sex in those contexts just becomes another way to express love.

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Yeah, I've kinda been doing this ... I put it down to a bad habit though, like eating cheap takeaway. Looked at from a vaguely dispassionate point of view, most porn is absurd (Like cheap takeaway), such low quality nonsense it's astonishing anyone pays for it (Again, cheap takeaway)

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JJButterworth

I've had a period in my life where I read/watched quite some amount porn for no apparent reason - and it's not until now when I've started to come to terms with my asexuality that I've started watching porn less frequently - I think it might have been some compulsive way for me to compensate for the sexual feelings I in actuality don't have. But I still watch porn, and I can't really explain why to myself. Like you, I never feel any urges to do what I see in pornography and although I can find some specifik things arousing, others can be downright disgusting.

But I can agree with lemmesay, I think fanfiction can be genuinly interesting and worth reading since it involves characters I know and love - sex in those contexts just becomes another way to express love.

I would say the same thing about myself. Even when I was watching porn regularly I could not watch it for more then 5 minutes at a time. I just got bored with it, quickly.

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I sometimes watch gay porn movies. It's not that I see the whole movie, just 5 minutes or so and that's it. I find male nakedness and intimacy very appealing and even arousing. On the contrary, I don't like when they go at it and engage in any type of sexual acts. I think that the short bits of porn I watch keep me fantasising about different stuff I do or I'd like doing when getting intimate with a guy. :rolleyes:

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confusedguy23

It's kind of like I "feed" off their emotions when they're having sex(their moans, state of bliss, etc.) but it's something that I know if I were to do it I wouldn't have the same reaction. It's very frustrating. :(

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Even though I consider myself asexual I feel a constant urge to watch porn(gay/bi/str8)and though I mostly watch gay porn I often don't understand why when I have no desire to actually do what they are doing. I see what they are doing and that arouses me, but when I actually think about what they are doing it somewhat disgusts me.

You seem to me like a bi or gay guy who doesn't like the idea of anal or oral sex. This is perfectly understandable and would explain your confusion. Anal and oral don't appeal to me either, so if women didn't have vaginas, I'd be confused too :D

Also, 99% of porn in existence is unwatchable crap in my opinion (and according to Sturgeon's Law), thus greatly amplifying any already extant confusion...

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confusedguy23

Well I've already come to the conclusion that I'm not gay, bi, or str8. I've had experiences with girls and guys before and I didn't like either, nor did I not like it so if I had to pick an orientation it would be asexual, but I really don't feel that this fits me either due to the fact that I want to have sex and be affectionate, but when I do it does nothing for me.

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Well I've already come to the conclusion that I'm not gay, bi, or str8. I've had experiences with girls and guys before and I didn't like either, nor did I not like it so if I had to pick an orientation it would be asexual, but I really don't feel that this fits me either due to the fact that I want to have sex and be affectionate, but when I do it does nothing for me.

Sounds to me you're a sexual person with a low sex drive then, if you still crave sex (feel sexual attraction?). Of course the lack of enjoying actual sex could always be a symptom of a medical disorder, if you have the sexual attraction to people though.

Just my thoughts.

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Well I've already come to the conclusion that I'm not gay, bi, or str8. I've had experiences with girls and guys before and I didn't like either, nor did I not like it so if I had to pick an orientation it would be asexual, but I really don't feel that this fits me either due to the fact that I want to have sex and be affectionate, but when I do it does nothing for me.

Now that's unusual.

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WhenSummersGone

I'm the same. I mostly watch lesbian porn because there's more stimulation than actual sex involved, but the idea of me ever being with another girl in that way makes me want to throw up in my mouth. There's also a few other situations I like to watch because of the acts involved, but once again I would not be interested in doing them if given the chance in real life

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Comedian Janeane Garofalo said, during her stand-up act, If You Will: Live In Seattle,

"I don't mind watching porn. I really don't. But in the same way that I will watch the Food Network all day, but I don't want to cook anything. Do you see? Do you see where I'm coming from that I don't wanna get into it. I don't want to wash a dish, so to speak. Get my hands dirty. Slice a chicken. Bone--deep bone any--eww! What am I, a morning drive dj? Why did I say that?"

She also came out as asexual during this act, by the way.

Personally, I have some issues with porn as a feminist, though (as a feminist) I think the issue is complciated. But I used to watch a ton of porn and was basically addicted to it, although I felt the same way about it as Garofalo. This is also how I feel about sexual fantasies in general. I think that at some point during my adolescence I forced myself to start having sexual fantasies because I was tired of feeling like a freak, being asked who I had a crush on and being called weird for not having one or knowing what that meant. I forced myself to fantasize and later to watch porn and I became addicted to these things, like they were senseless irrational rituals I had to perform compulsively to feel better. Since I've begun to understand my asexuality I've found that I fantasize less and less, btw.

In any case, I think I can become aroused while thinking about sex but I really don't want to take part. Whatever that means, I don't really care.

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If a person doesn't want to cook anything, why the hell would they watch the food network?

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If a person doesn't want to cook anything, why the hell would they watch the food network?

I don't cook, but I have Food Network on all the time. I like watching the shows more than I like to actually cook myself :P

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The Thin White Duke

I like comparing it to sport on TV. I enjoy watching cricket, tennis and Nascar, but I don't want to go play them.

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I find myself watching porn, even though I don't enjoy it in the end. I get "the urge", thinking porn will help me with the burden, but I still find myself laughing at it and thinking "How can anyone find this attractive?"

I tell myself I'm never watching that degrading filth again, yet I come back to it on a rare moment haha :unsure:

I am the same way, wherein I won't masturbate after watching. Does nothing for me.

Porn always looks silly and disgusting, to me. For some reason, the women always sound and look like they're in pain (hetero porn).

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Professional porn is extremely RIDICULOUS! I will watch some amateur adult content, though. I think semen is disgusting, but ironically enough I tend to watch gay porn movies; I just skip the "money shot" if there is one. Sometimes porn arouses me and sometimes it doesn't, it really depends on my mood.

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It is for me two very different "channels" (mm... was searching for words) - doing something in RL and watching something (on TV for example). It's basically the same with violence - pure action movies are designed to make the viewer actually feel that extreme violence is OK and even "cool".. though most of us know that in RL we do not wanna be "Jack Bauer" or "Bond" OR get caught in some of their "situations". Sure, there might be RL exceptions. Porn (industrialized) is designed in a similar fashion.. the writers "guess" what is most erotic/etc and make a "viewable" reality out of that. They are, just as action movies, not designed to be anywhere near "reality".

I actually find this extremely difficult to comprehend. Do you remember when all "reality shows" showed up on TV? I think there was a reason for that. People got tired of "made up scenarios". Oh.. the only "downside" was that the "reality shows" were angled and the situations more or less "provoked". I wonder what is next.

Being very emotional I respond emotionally to almost every "input channel" but the thing I call "reality" is a VERY different "channel".. that is my OWN actions towards/with the world or a person.. sadly.. I don't know half of what I feel I should know about it because all the pure "input channels" are more or less "flooded". And I know damn well that they are flooded with mostly "crap".

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