misunderstood lover Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I dont really understand what happened. I mean, I waited until I was 21 to even try having sex because I was never really interested. I find love in other ways. But then, I met my girlfriend. We've been together for 4 1/2 years. We used to having relations ALL THE TIME. It was amazing. the 1st 6months of our relationship were unbelievable. But, then I left Iraq (where we met) and moved back to Germany...then to Kansas. We only saw eachtoher for 2 weeks at a time every 6 monhs or so... which was amazing. We had relations ever opportunity we had. Then I got pregnant (no, it wasn't planned...or my choice). While I was pregnant... I was living by myself in a seperate country from my girlfriend. Ever since then... the urge has been gone. I still find her extremely beautiful. And I truly wish I had the same desires she does...but, I dont. Our daughter is now 3 years old...and she's still with me. My girlfriend has been trying her best to stay patient with me. She wants me to go to dr's and find a way to cure it. But, it just doesn't seem right to me. I am so confused. Is there anybody else like that? They had a sex drive.....but then....one day...it was gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I can tell that you've been through a lot. I don't have a plethora of helpful advice, but I can tell you that I sympathize with your situation and hope for it all to work out in the best way possible. If you don't feel there's a problem with your sex drive, then there's no problem. Just explain to your girlfriend that you still love her and find her beautiful, but your needs are different. Something that may give a bit of perspective: there's a webcomic called "Girls with Slingshots." One of the characters can be interpreted at asexual. The comioc itself can be very funny and insightful. I look forward to hearing how it works out. In the meantime, eat cake and take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 You sound like you had a normal sex drive and lost it after a traumatic event and a pregnancy. That doesn't sounds like asexuality, which is about lacking sexual attraction (and often sex drive) your entire life. I think you really should see a doctor, or even a psychologist, because a complete change in sex drive/attraction as an adult is very unusual, especially considering it happened after a psychologically traumatic event, and after pregnancy, which can have drastic physical effects on your body. If you've been checked out physically, and taken care of the psychological damage from what happened to you, and you still have no sex drive, you might really be asexual, but it's rare to completely change your sexual orientation after adolescence. Link to post Share on other sites
G-Max Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 my girlfriend I got pregnant Link to post Share on other sites
prettyeyes Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 Then I got pregnant (no, it wasn't planned...or my choice). She wants me to go to dr's and find a way to cure it. But, it just doesn't seem right to me. I really don't want to be prying or insinuate anything but... The situation sounds a little controlling, like there might be more going on than just a loss of libido. She should be going into this with you, not just expecting you to go have it "cured." Link to post Share on other sites
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