National Coming Out Day: Follow up

[+Lee]

My Facebook status got no comments, but four "likes." One was from a fellow AVENite (you know who you are...thanks! :D), two were from college friends that probably didn't previously know I was ace, and one was from a girl I've known since elementary school but haven't talked to in years. That last one was pretty cool.

All attempts at a self-portrait of my outfit today were miserable failures, so I hung it all on a hanger and took a picture of the whole ensemble there. The flag pinned to my vest was actually on my school bag all day. I didn't get any comments on the flag but maybe people felt awkward asking or just didn't think to.

I must know: WHERE did you get that AWESOME shirt?

That is such a great ace outfit.

I'll post my status update latter, I will just say it's been great.

Great job to everyone who has posted so far! I can't respond to them all, but I did read them!! :D

[annwyl_cariad]

I must know: WHERE did you get that AWESOME shirt?

That is such a great ace outfit.

I'll post my status update latter, I will just say it's been great.

Great job to everyone who has posted so far! I can't respond to them all, but I did read them!! :D

Thanks Ellie! :) The shirt was from Sears, juniors section. I'm probably too old to still be shopping in juniors but that's where all the purple plaid shirts were so that's where I went, haha. I loved it too, it matched the flag colors perfectly. This weekend's shopping trip was very successful for me, haha.

[Amputation Defenestration]

I'm not quite brave enough yet to go all out on Facebook yet. That is, my profile says I'm "ace," but really, that's basically just code for people who already know what it means. And I didn't go anywhere today, so I had no exciting confrontations, haha. I did post a tweet though, it was just like: "I'm asexual! What are you? #ComingOutDay" or something like that. My goal for next year is to be ready to out myself on Facebook, although I'll still have to block it from a few key people (family members, I'm lookin' at YOU).

[PlainAndTall]

I came out on Facebook and did a little note explaining asexuality. Then it was buried under a slew of chain status messages. XD A couple of my friends found it and responded positively, though. I'm not worried about the rest--my friends are all pretty accepting people. It's just nice to be out in the open about it and spread the word about AVEN.

[+Lee]

I must know: WHERE did you get that AWESOME shirt?

That is such a great ace outfit.

I'll post my status update latter, I will just say it's been great.

Great job to everyone who has posted so far! I can't respond to them all, but I did read them!! :D

Thanks Ellie! :) The shirt was from Sears, juniors section. I'm probably too old to still be shopping in juniors but that's where all the purple plaid shirts were so that's where I went, haha. I loved it too, it matched the flag colors perfectly. This weekend's shopping trip was very successful for me, haha.

I HOPE it is still there! I've been looking for one.

[+Lee]

Double post, but I wanted this to be it's own.

This is the responses to my facebook status (only two friends commented on it (so far) and only three non-ace people liked it: My Dad, my sister, and my friend M)

Still, it was amazing (under spoiler as it is long):

Then I had a nice long chat with D! And before this I saw her new status.... she came out as bisexual!! I wonder if I inspired her...

Anyway, since it's personal for her I will only post one or two nibbits that she probably won't care about me sharing:

"hi!

Im proud of you :)"

"yep

You and I are like opposites then, lol" (Opposite sexuality she means, bi=sexual to both ace=sexual to none)

"I know. D: So, as my polar opposite, I must ask what it's like.

You know that people are going to assume you're lesbian" (she meant this in a good way [she doesn't think I am], and she is right)

And now, comments I got on coming out on DeviantArt:

you're braver than i hun. :huggle: i'm proud of you!

god you are braver than I am :D good luck

First of all: You are really brave for doing this!:w00t:

Second of all: Do you have an AVEN account? (how do you get that other cake to show up?)

(they are talking about a aven cake plz account, I made a plz account of )

EDIT: New response on DA!

Wow, really? i admire you for putting that out there, Ellie~ you've gotta have some guts to do that. :)

:hug:

THIS IS GREAT FOR THESE REASONS:

A) During day of silence, when I was still new at knowing I was ace, when she typed to me that she was participating for her LGBT friends, I said they were missing a letter *facepalm*. Anyway, she typed "what letter" and I said asexual. She then typed something along the lines of "LOL isn't that lack of sex drive" something like that.

B) I thought she was ignoring me (paranoid me) because I posted a link to the asexual podcast I'm in. I didn't say in the DeviantArt journal that it was about asexuality, but if you clicked the link....

C) She didn't post on my Facebook status update.

:D :D :D :D :D

Also at work I wore a purple shirt, my ace flag bracelet, and purple nail polish.

[out_of_step]

really want to do the whole facebook thing. not sure if i've got the guts! lol well done to everyone for getting the message out there :)

[+Lee]

:o I just got a response on DeviantArt from a friend who I thought.... :o

Read my post above, I edited it.

[annwyl_cariad]

Wow, Ellie, it sounds like you had some really positive experiences! That's awesome! :D

Since my last post I've got three more likes on my status: another AVENite, one of my best friends from growing up that I've never actually talked about this with (yay!) and another friend from home who knew already. I'm so happy that I haven't gotten any negative feedback, and it's nice to be explicitly out in a way I didn't expect. No more wondering if I should dance around the issue with people...I've put it out there for everyone to see.

[TheChronicWanderer]

My supportive, totally open-minded little sister put this as her facebook status yesterday.

I'm a straight Christian who accepts all gay people! To all gays, or other non-straight sexualitys: Happy "Coming Out" Day! Enjoy it! :D

(She's 14, hence the spelling and grammatical errors)

It made me SO happy. Of course, an argument between a conservative Christian and a liberal Christian got started.

But the liberal that was defending 'the gays' was my cousin. I had no idea how opened minded and accepting she is. I'm so happy and I might come out to her at Thanksgiving this year.

Here's some for everyone came out yesterday, and the ones that are coming out today.

[annwyl_cariad]

My supportive, totally open-minded little sister put this as her facebook status yesterday.

I'm a straight Christian who accepts all gay people! To all gays, or other non-straight sexualitys: Happy "Coming Out" Day! Enjoy it! :D

(She's 14, hence the spelling and grammatical errors)

It made me SO happy. Of course, an argument between a conservative Christian and a liberal Christian got started.

But the liberal that was defending 'the gays' was my cousin. I had no idea how opened minded and accepting she is. I'm so happy and I might come out to her at Thanksgiving this year.

Aww, I love it! That's great that you have such open-minded people in your family!

[Seele]

I posted it on FB before I went to work and got a like from my best friend who already knew, and a guy who I know through my friend and 2 comments from two other friends (one who told me he was straight, and sorry to disappoint, apparently as a joke that was lost on me). I then posted a follow up explaining what I was talking about, because I realized all I said was: I'm asexual, The End!.

I don't think my Mom seen it at all yesterday, or today and every time she calls I'm horrified she seen it, I partly don't want to ruin the image my Mom has of me and to answer her questions, especially when her reaction the first time around when I was 16 was so horrible.

[Chickenpede]

I went to this tie-dye event that my college's QSA was hosting, and I made a shirt with stripes like the AVEN flag! Yes, they did have purple dye and it was really fun.

[Jingo]

Sooo I'm back.

My original status yesterday ended up with something like 22 likes. Most of them were from people that already knew, but it was still reassuring. (:

In the spirit of the UK's National Coming Out Day and for Asexual Visibility and Education Day, my stellar friend from the UK asked if I minded him posting my LJ post on his own facebook to raise awareness. I agreed and ended up getting another four likes, one peson asked questions on the status and I explained things to him, I now have a new friend who thinks she identifies as asexual panromantic (and is learning Norwegian :D) and another one of his friends has messaged me saying my post made a lot of sense and was interesting. I feel really accomplished today, haha. I think even if my mother isn't okay with it this day has been a huge success. (: I'll just hope my mother takes it well too.

Eeee I'm so happy.

[Quiet Butterfly]

A day late, but I came out to my therapist today. Her reaction was quite positive, which was wonderful, and we had a pretty good discussion about it. I don't think she's completely convinced, but since I'm still trying to figure it out myself (and probably always will be, just like most things in my life), there were some things that she wanted me to talk about that I couldn't answer yet. She's only the fourth person I've come out to, so I was pleased about it.

[TheyWhoShallNotBeNamed]

That is made of pure awesome!

I posted a status on facebook. I got the typical joke about budding, the typical, "hm, what's that?," a couple likes from AVEN folks, and a couple from friends who pretty much knew already anyway. My favorite comment, "LIKE SHERLOCK! :D!" lol =)

[annwyl_cariad]

Thanks! And I like the Sherlock comment, that's pretty awesome. XD

[Quiet Butterfly]

I posted a status on facebook. I got the typical joke about budding, the typical, "hm, what's that?," a couple likes from AVEN folks, and a couple from friends who pretty much knew already anyway. My favorite comment, "LIKE SHERLOCK! :D!" lol =)

LOL! That's actually what prompted me to come out to my therapist. She knows I'm fannish, and one of my friends just got me into Sherlock, and I was telling her about how it was costing me sleep because after I finished watching there was the "Oh, LOOK! There's MORE TO READ!!!" She asked what I liked about it, and one of the things I mentioned was the coming out scene in both the Pilot and ep 1, and how awesome I thought it was, and...yeah.

[Hua Baoyan]

I posted I'm asexual and proud. National Coming Out Day. Two people on facebook liked it, but no comments.

[Wineblood]

I got one like and no comments on facebook. Granted I don't have that many AVENites on facebook, but I was expecting slightly more.

(Thanks Cale)

[+Lee]

I got more responses on my status, I'll post it latter.

This is what I wanted to post. I did a google search on Asexual in news, and I got two National Coming Out day articles, both mentioning asexual:

http://thenewsoftoday.com/national-coming-out-day-extra-special-this-year/3553/

Today, is the 22nd annual National Coming Out Day. It is observed by members of the LGBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, and transgender)

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye-boystown/2010/10/national-coming-out-day-my-story.html

National Coming Out Day (NCOD) is an internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transgender issues.

[Lego M]

So an update (since I said I'd post one) - I didn't get any responses from anyone who I'd hoped would see it, which is a bit disappointing. Got a few likes from AVENites though, thanks guys.

[vrazda verlaine]

My university LGBTQ club had National Coming Out Week... here's our booth and some of our signs, complete with an asexual.

This guy hung around looking at us from a distance for a while, before approaching me and asking what it meant to be asexual. I gave him a rundown and he seemed to be very receptive of it. Do I EVER stop doing that with my hand?

Better picture of my sign, on a different day, although with flat hair and an awkward expression.

[Question?]

Lol, I put my Facebook statues as " Is an asexual freak, hell yeah!" and linked it to the nationalcomingout day page, loads of people liked it, and they were all just like, so you dont like people in that way? meh...thats cool :D also whenever sex comes up in convo with someone im not out to i jsut go ewww (im not a repulsed ace but its easier to come out like this) and then they are like...dont you like sex, and I just explain that I'm asexual...now if only explaining my objection to gender pronouns was as easy to explain....

[+Lee]

My university LGBTQ club had National Coming Out Week... here's our booth and some of our signs, complete with an asexual.

This guy hung around looking at us from a distance for a while, before approaching me and asking what it meant to be asexual. I gave him a rundown and he seemed to be very receptive of it. Do I EVER stop doing that with my hand?

Better picture of my sign, on a different day, although with flat hair and an awkward expression.

That is awesome!! Good for you! :D

[anthean]

I'm not quite ready to be out to absolutely everyone, so on facebook I just changed my status to something cryptic about "feeling ace today", which no one noticed.

But! I'm taking a writing class this quarter at school, and for our final project I want to do something about raising awareness of asexuality on campus. On Thursday I workshopped my project proposal with four different people, and I ended up telling all of them that I was interested in this topic because I'm asexual myself. They were all really excited and supportive--one girl even said that she'd had an asexual friend in high school-- and said they couldn't wait for my presentation. So I guess I came out to four random strangers the other day. I was walking on air for at least an hour afterward.

[Kicchu]

I'm not 100% ready to come out completely yet. But something interesting happened around that day... I ended up telling a friend that I'm asexual and it turned out that she is, too! =D We came out to each other! It was awesome! She is the first asexual I met in real life and it was the same for her... We both were mentally jumping up and down after that. xDDD

Though announcing my asexuality on facebook could be interesting... Maybe next year, eh? :)

[Lord Happy Toast]

Other than blog about it, I didn't end up doing any coming out at all during National Coming Out Day, but I've ended up doing some coming-out like visibility work a few times the past week since then. Because I'm interested in eventually doing research on asexuality (and am currently taking a class to be able to eventually do so), I told a few people about this this week. I didn't specifically say that I was asexual, but I imagine that they at least suspect it.