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National Coming Out Day


+Lee

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Sarah (triSARAHtops) and I are planning to do some interesting Facebook status updates on October 11, AKA National Coming Out day (NCOD).

Logo_ncod_lg.png

It's time to come out of the closet

National Coming Out day a day for people of the LGBT community to come out of the closet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day

How this idea came about is on Skype I was talking about wanting to come out on Facebook but that it's way to public and I'd rather come out to them in person, so the most I would mention about being ace on facebook (Until, if ever, I am fully out) is vague status updates, and if anyone sees my pages, groups I'm a part of. Sarah agreed, and then she mentioned NCOD. So, it ended up that Sarah and I decided to plan a bunch of status updates and links to articles and videos that have to do with asexuality and maybe someone will get the idea. Like coming out but not really. Then we both thought that we would see if anyone else wants to join in.

Now, you don't have to be like us. You can choose to just do one status update (if you use facebook), or come out to a friend of yours and/or family.

Basically, this thread isn't about just what Sarah and I are doing, but anything you want to do, or ideas, or links to good acey videos or articles, please post.

I need some good links to asexuality articles, I'm going to search around but if you know one please do link.

Sarah's and mine's idea list:

Might use:

1) Status updates:

⁃ 53x+m³=∅

⁃ Sex ≠ Love

⁃ I'm straight as an ace

1) Videos

⁃ HPoA

Might use if brave enough:

1) http://lmgtfy.com/?q=asexuality.org&l=1

Handy: ∇

Are you going to come out? As a Queersecret said:

tumblr_l709kup40c1qcpj7wo1_400.jpg

It is, I agree. I'm scared to tell a lot of people, even my queer friendly friends. But sometimes it's better to let everyone know the full you.

And yes, coming out in general (as this wonderful image shows) is dumb because heterosexuals don't, but we sadly live in a world were we have to at the moment, especially to gain acceptance and visibility.

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asexual cake

I'm already out as asexual to everyone who matters (and I have "asexuality" and "AVEN" among the things I "like" on Facebook, and don't have my "interested in" sex to either men or women, so if anyone else wants to know they can figure it out for themselves), but I am fully closeted regarding my place in LGBTQetc. elsewhere (namely the T).

That said, I don't plan on coming out as such until I just can't stay closeted anymore. So really, I have nothing concrete to contribute to this thread.

... carry on.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

I didn't realise there was a closet I could be in. I'm far too open. But good luck to everyone who's making this move. It shall be fun seeing the response no? =] I might use the 'let me google that' link just for the fun of it. =D

:cake:

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vrazda verlaine

Last year, the LGBT club I'm in set up a tent in a busy area of campus where we handed out special nametags that read "I'm coming out as..." Some people really wrote orientations, and some people just wrote silly things. Mine said "FABULICIOUS!" I wasn't really "out" as asexual at the time (I told a couple of people who were working the tent, but didn't feel like broadcasting it) so I couldn't enjoy the event fully, but this year, I can't wait! Definitely want to work the tent if we do that again, and dress up all black and purple (not difficult for me) and be a walking asexual flag to do it.

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I don't think 'knowing the full me' has much to do with who I do or don't have sex with. Or subsequently having to justify my position. If that means i'm in the closet, that's cool, my closet has tweed.

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I'm out on facebook and several other forums. Any online friends who still talk to me know. My brother and one cousin knows. Not telling my parents, not worth the hassle.

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I don't think 'knowing the full me' has much to do with who I do or don't have sex with. Or subsequently having to justify my position. If that means i'm in the closet, that's cool, my closet has tweed.

It doesn't apply to everyone. It does to me, because I'm so obviously not interested in sex, and I'm going to meetups and in two podcasts. I wish I could tell people about me being in podcasts.

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I was going to do this last year about being bi"sexual" but I chickened out, it would make it much easier if Facebook had an asexual choice for gender preferences or a type in box instead of a list, might work a way round it using one of those atatus's ^^^ if I'm not being scared lol, my parents, grandparetns, uncle etc all have facebook though so...idk :S

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I'm pretty much out at home and in my peer group, although I found out last June that I was a lot less out than I thought I was to my parents. Ahem.

I am FB friends with extended family who I've made the decision do NOT get to know I'm asexual, however, so while I plan to participate I will probably do so in a coded way such as a status saying "[sciatrix] is absolutely ace today!"

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My parents would drop down dead! (they are in their 80s)and my closet? well...it's too full of fabulous clothes, darlink, for me to fit in...so I guess I must be out already.

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Last year, the LGBT club I'm in set up a tent in a busy area of campus where we handed out special nametags that read "I'm coming out as..." Some people really wrote orientations, and some people just wrote silly things. Mine said "FABULICIOUS!" I wasn't really "out" as asexual at the time (I told a couple of people who were working the tent, but didn't feel like broadcasting it) so I couldn't enjoy the event fully, but this year, I can't wait! Definitely want to work the tent if we do that again, and dress up all black and purple (not difficult for me) and be a walking asexual flag to do it.

I love this...I might see if I can convince the GSA at my uni to do something like this. :o ^_^

As for being out...I'm out to everyone who matters already. ^_^

(Not to my parents/family, because of safety reasons...but people who matter to me know, and that's all that matters.)

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I'm in...I was planning on doing a big 'getting things straight...but not really' type blog and linking it to my facebook on the 12th of October. That's Asexual Awareness Day isn't it? I stumbled across that and thought it'd be a good idea because if I post in the morning on the 12th it'll still be the 11th in most of the world, so I can double up.

It's mainly because I rushed and tried to explain to my family last year and failed rather epically, and I want to do it like I originally planned, with links and backup information and not verbally :/ So I'll be lurking in this thread and stealing ideas :B

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I'm in...I was planning on doing a big 'getting things straight...but not really' type blog and linking it to my facebook on the 12th of October. That's Asexual Awareness Day isn't it? I stumbled across that and thought it'd be a good idea because if I post in the morning on the 12th it'll still be the 11th in most of the world, so I can double up.

It's mainly because I rushed and tried to explain to my family last year and failed rather epically, and I want to do it like I originally planned, with links and backup information and not verbally :/ So I'll be lurking in this thread and stealing ideas :B

I've heard of it, but as not many people (even in AVEN itself) havent heard of it, people might not get the idea. At least for NCOD, most people might of heard of it that day, and some might read into Sarah's and mines status updates.

Still, good idea! :)

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trisarahtops

Ok, so I failed once at responding to this. I miss internet :(

I'm looking forward to this. The bigger group we have the more epic it will be.

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I am FB friends with extended family who I've made the decision do NOT get to know I'm asexual, however, so while I plan to participate I will probably do so in a coded way such as a status saying "[sciatrix] is absolutely ace today!"

I remember that there was some talk in an old facebook thread about having coded facebook status for coming out day. Things like "...is ace!" or anything else not too explicit. I'd be all for something like that, if anyone else has any other ideas for secret coming out statuses.

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I'm in...I was planning on doing a big 'getting things straight...but not really' type blog and linking it to my facebook on the 12th of October. That's Asexual Awareness Day isn't it? I stumbled across that and thought it'd be a good idea because if I post in the morning on the 12th it'll still be the 11th in most of the world, so I can double up.

It's mainly because I rushed and tried to explain to my family last year and failed rather epically, and I want to do it like I originally planned, with links and backup information and not verbally :/ So I'll be lurking in this thread and stealing ideas :B

I've heard of it, but as not many people (even in AVEN itself) havent heard of it, people might not get the idea. At least for NCOD, most people might of heard of it that day, and some might read into Sarah's and mines status updates.

Still, good idea! :)

I don't even know if NCOD is celebrated here...I only discovered it last year through my other forum. I was planning on pointing it out to people, because even if it is celebrated here the people that I want to see my explaination aren't the sorts who would know about it.

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I am FB friends with extended family who I've made the decision do NOT get to know I'm asexual, however, so while I plan to participate I will probably do so in a coded way such as a status saying "[sciatrix] is absolutely ace today!"

I remember that there was some talk in an old facebook thread about having coded facebook status for coming out day. Things like "...is ace!" or anything else not too explicit. I'd be all for something like that, if anyone else has any other ideas for secret coming out statuses.

I have some status ideas in my original post. :)

Anyone know good articles/videos to link to? (besides the videos I have in the original?)

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Gho St Ory Qwan

No offence but is it coming out if you type it in code so that only the people who already know will know?

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Probably not, unless of course someone is familiar with the ace community but not the fact that I, specifically, am ace. (Which is entirely possible.) However, unless I can figure out a way to make such a status update invisible to my abovementioned extended family members, I can't participate in anything involving Facebook. I still care about them, but judging from their reaction to homosexuality I have serious doubts they would react well to my coming out, and I would prefer not to lose those relationships at the moment.

As for coming out to someone off of a networking site like Facebook, well, I'm out to everyone I regularly talk to but my coworkers, whom I don't particularly want to be out to. So a coded status update is the only way I could even somewhat participate in such an event, and I would rather like to.

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No offence but is it coming out if you type it in code so that only the people who already know will know?

None taken, it's not really and I did state that. But I'm hoping someone get's the idea after so many odd status updates, plus a link to an article/ video all having to do with ace/no sex/asexual.

Probably not, unless of course someone is familiar with the ace community but not the fact that I, specifically, am ace. (Which is entirely possible.) However, unless I can figure out a way to make such a status update invisible to my abovementioned extended family members, I can't participate in anything involving Facebook. I still care about them, but judging from their reaction to homosexuality I have serious doubts they would react well to my coming out, and I would prefer not to lose those relationships at the moment.

As for coming out to someone off of a networking site like Facebook, well, I'm out to everyone I regularly talk to but my coworkers, whom I don't particularly want to be out to. So a coded status update is the only way I could even somewhat participate in such an event, and I would rather like to.

You can, when you make the status there is a lock with an arrow, you hit the arrow and customize who you don't want to see your status. :)

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Oh, huh. I did not know that. I, ah, am not the most tech-savvy of people. *considers* I will have to meditate further on this.

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I'm neither in nor out as anything. My dad is the only person I've spoken to about it in depth.

I might participate, if only to see what sort of comments and questions I receive.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

No offence but is it coming out if you type it in code so that only the people who already know will know?

None taken, it's not really and I did state that. But I'm hoping someone get's the idea after so many odd status updates, plus a link to an article/ video all having to do with ace/no sex/asexual.

Ahh, I see. it does work some of the terms into peoples vocabulary. I guess if someone else outs they might go 'Yeah, I've heard of something like that before' instead of 'wtf oh noess!!!11!! u dnt like teh sexzz?!' or however they respond.

It's actually very helpful for the lot of us when I think about it. :blush:

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I think it would definitely be cool if we did some kind of organized action for Coming Out Day. I'm already out to everyone who would care, I think, although whether they all really understand asexuality is another story. If people want to post things on Facebook, maybe we could come up with one statement and then everyone could post the same thing. That might make folks who are on the fence about posting something feel a little more confident, if they know many other people are posting the exact same thing. Anyway, just a thought.

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No offence but is it coming out if you type it in code so that only the people who already know will know?

Yeah, this. Sorry but saying you are asexual bluntly is confusing enough for people. People aren't going to wonder why you have some weird equation in your status and then google it and find AVEN. At least I seriously doubt that. I'm already out on Facebook with SGO. I will occasionally post articles about asexuality that I think are informative for the uninitiated. The reason I am out is for visibility, so that someone else may not have to go through their young adult life feeling isolated like I did. I don't really think it's that big of a deal beyond that. It's nothing to be that self-conscious about. It's not like you will be threatened or lose friends because of it. In fact people will probably just ignore it. If you want to "come out" on face book, more power to you. Go balls to the wall.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

I think it would definitely be cool if we did some kind of organized action for Coming Out Day. I'm already out to everyone who would care, I think, although whether they all really understand asexuality is another story. If people want to post things on Facebook, maybe we could come up with one statement and then everyone could post the same thing. That might make folks who are on the fence about posting something feel a little more confident, if they know many other people are posting the exact same thing. Anyway, just a thought.

I second this notion!

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I think it would definitely be cool if we did some kind of organized action for Coming Out Day. I'm already out to everyone who would care, I think, although whether they all really understand asexuality is another story. If people want to post things on Facebook, maybe we could come up with one statement and then everyone could post the same thing. That might make folks who are on the fence about posting something feel a little more confident, if they know many other people are posting the exact same thing. Anyway, just a thought.

I second this notion!

Yay! Maybe something along the lines of "It's National Coming-Out Day! I'm coming out as asexual. What are you coming out as?" but better.

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I think it would definitely be cool if we did some kind of organized action for Coming Out Day. I'm already out to everyone who would care, I think, although whether they all really understand asexuality is another story. If people want to post things on Facebook, maybe we could come up with one statement and then everyone could post the same thing. That might make folks who are on the fence about posting something feel a little more confident, if they know many other people are posting the exact same thing. Anyway, just a thought.

I love this idea!!

No offence but is it coming out if you type it in code so that only the people who already know will know?

Yeah, this. Sorry but saying you are asexual bluntly is confusing enough for people. People aren't going to wonder why you have some weird equation in your status and then google it and find AVEN. At least I seriously doubt that. I'm already out on Facebook with SGO. I will occasionally post articles about asexuality that I think are informative for the uninitiated. The reason I am out is for visibility, so that someone else may not have to go through their young adult life feeling isolated like I did. I don't really think it's that big of a deal beyond that. It's nothing to be that self-conscious about. It's not like you will be threatened or lose friends because of it. In fact people will probably just ignore it. If you want to "come out" on face book, more power to you. Go balls to the wall.

... did you not read my response to that?

I think it would definitely be cool if we did some kind of organized action for Coming Out Day. I'm already out to everyone who would care, I think, although whether they all really understand asexuality is another story. If people want to post things on Facebook, maybe we could come up with one statement and then everyone could post the same thing. That might make folks who are on the fence about posting something feel a little more confident, if they know many other people are posting the exact same thing. Anyway, just a thought.

I second this notion!

Yay! Maybe something along the lines of "It's National Coming-Out Day! I'm coming out as asexual. What are you coming out as?" but better.

Ooooh... that is a little bit to daring for me. I'll think about it though, as I have a few asexual friends on facebook. At least this way, though public, it suits the day.

Then again I need to come out to at least my Dad and Grandma before doing this... and I'm scared to tell my Dad's side of the family this.

EDIT: I am now thinking that I will do it, but as I think that I should come out to people in a more personal way I will work on doing that before NCOD, at least to my friends that matter, and to my Dad and Grandma.

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GO SOC SCI GO SOC SCI GO! This is what I have been up to...

I like Ily`s idea, but I`m still pretty up for anything. I liked my idea of the let me google that for you thing. Or linking to a hot pieces of ace video.

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