LeFairy Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 So...what does a sexual stimulation feel like, that moment before a couple heads to the bedroom, and what kind of feelings are there being taken place? I know, extremely super technical question, (that a lot might not be able to answer >.<) but it's been bugging me all week. Curiosity finally got the better of me and made me post this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Awkwardgirl Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 For the most part, I won't be much help. It is one of those times where you'll "just know", though try and not be in the moment so much as you might regret this. Link to post Share on other sites
Missingpieces Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 Im asexual, but I've always imagined it being like a craving or an itch. You have an itch on your back & you just can't get at, then someone scratches it for you....aaah Or maybe really really needing to eat some and you won't be satisfied until you do, but instead of cake.... Does that sound right to anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
you*hear*but*do*you*listen Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 I've kind of been wondering this too... Link to post Share on other sites
LeFairy Posted August 27, 2010 Author Share Posted August 27, 2010 Maybe we should ask a sexual... Link to post Share on other sites
narwhal Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 I'm asexal and i kinda had something similar to this. I didn't have sex but it was sexual for me. I don't know how to explain it, i think they just know it's going to happen. I looked at my SO and saw it was going to happen and we just turned off the lights. I think it's a feeling that both people feel when you look at each other and silently agree to it. Bah. i suck at explaining it. Link to post Share on other sites
an1malclawz Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 hmmm idk my ex gf is a sexual and she says that she gets horny (and I hate saying that word) at random times and that its so strong that she would rip someones (that she gets turned on by) clothes off, I'm guessing sex to sexuals feels so good that they have to have it again, like what hayden said its like your favorite food, cause it taste so good that you can't resist but to eat more of it Link to post Share on other sites
Olivier Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 Yep, it's hard to describe. But one of the cool things about sex for sexuals is that pattern of almost exponentially snowballing anticipation, ending in a very satisfying resolution. Imagining that resolution (and sexuals have a drive to do so) sort of gets you wanting to start pushing the snowball (sometimes a LOT), and when you sense the snowball starting to move, then (a) there's a small sense of resolution in that in and of itself, and (b) you can sense, and enjoy, that the escalating process has begun. For sexuals, that whole ride, from the top of the mountain to the bottom, is fun, and longer it goes and the bigger the snowball gets the better. So, um, yeah, "you'd know it if you felt it" is all I've got, really. Link to post Share on other sites
< retired > Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 ... exponentially snowballing anticipation ... ... that whole ride, from the top of the mountain to the bottom, is fun, and longer it goes and the bigger the snowball gets the better ... OK, now I've figured out my problem. Living in Florida: (1) Snowballs melt before they ever start rolling; and (2) There are no mountains. Thanks for clearing that up. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Missingpieces Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 I'm asexal and i kinda had something similar to this. I didn't have sex but it was sexual for me. I don't know how to explain it, i think they just know it's going to happen. I looked at my SO and saw it was going to happen and we just turned off the lights. I think it's a feeling that both people feel when you look at each other and silently agree to it. Bah. i suck at explaining it. So sexual people communicate psychically? :P I'm sure Freud had some theory like that though, the libido being tied to various (not so mystical) energies in one self. The snow in New Zealand hasn't made any sexual snowballs for me...maybe made me frigid tho! Link to post Share on other sites
Face Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 It sounds like an addiction to me but one that gives you a high just thinking about it. The release being the equivalent of the junkie getting his shot than allows him to relax again. I can't help think that the part of the brain that evolved to make people crave sex is responsible for other addictions too. That's all just my opinion though as I've not experienced either. I don't have an addictive personality. I wonder if that's common among asexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
LeFairy Posted August 28, 2010 Author Share Posted August 28, 2010 Hmm..well if it's like a snowball rolling down a hill, maybe it's something like the same adrenaline rush you get from a roller coaster? You're climbing a steep incline anticipating the moment you get to the peak, and then... *BOOM* craziness charging down. Link to post Share on other sites
Lipbalm Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 I think it's like a hunger ~ needing something badly like a coffee addict needing coffee and being very keen to get coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
Pandoren Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 It sounds like an addiction to me but one that gives you a high just thinking about it. The release being the equivalent of the junkie getting his shot than allows him to relax again. I can't help think that the part of the brain that evolved to make people crave sex is responsible for other addictions too. That's all just my opinion though as I've not experienced either. I don't have an addictive personality. I wonder if that's common among asexuals. I abstain from a lot of things so I wouldn't know if I have a particularly addictive personality (I've never smoked, I'm teetotal, never done drugs etc). I have a mild addiction to cola though ;) I think that I could be addicted easily though, one of the reasons I don't do the above. I have long term depression and if something made me feel better, I bet I'd keep taking it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 It sounds like an addiction to me but one that gives you a high just thinking about it. The release being the equivalent of the junkie getting his shot than allows him to relax again. I can't help think that the part of the brain that evolved to make people crave sex is responsible for other addictions too. That's all just my opinion though as I've not experienced either. I don't have an addictive personality. I wonder if that's common among asexuals. well women with hour glass figures apparently activate the 'reward centres' of the brain which is stimulated by drugs and alcohol. It is said this might explain pornography addiction, so in light of these 'findings' I imagine it is a simple case of forming and addiction to the endorphins released during and after sex (and maybe in anticipation of it). So yeah I'd agree with you. Besides the behaviour of some people is like a desperate gambler no? I have an addictive personality. I'm at mercy of Oxytocin; 'the cuddling hormone' I bet you are too! XD It's the bond making hormone apparently. I still don't understand the exact physical feel of arousal though. I guess its like explaining being sick to someone who's never experienced it. >.< I think I may have experienced it but with the whole 'you know it when you've had it' I suppose I probably haven't >.< Dear God things are complicated here. Link to post Share on other sites
Pamcakes Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 Sexual excitement feels, to me, like a warmth and tingling in my private parts that becomes very distracting until relieved. Sexual desire - if that's what you mean by craving - feels like just about any other sort of happy anticipation. "Hmmmmn, I really want to do this thing that feels good, right now. Yay, now I get to do this thing that feels good, right now!" The rollercoaster simile is actually a good one; the mounting excitement, the tantalising balance...and then the rush. Very apt. P. Link to post Share on other sites
Samuele Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 I asked a friend this, and she said it's kind of like that feeling you get when you see your favorite food and get hungry for it. I asked another one, and they said "When you're sexually attracted to somebody, you sort of feel like you wouldn't mind getting naked and touching on them." Or something like that. ...I don't even know. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 I experience arousal, which probably isn't what you're asking but it's kinda the same thing minus wanting to do it with someone. I guess it can be described as wanting cake or whatever food you like to eat, or really want to eat. Except you feel it down there lol Link to post Share on other sites
Qutenkuddly Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 But one of the cool things about sex for sexuals is that pattern of almost exponentially snowballing anticipation, ending in a very satisfying resolution. Imagining that resolution (and sexuals have a drive to do so) sort of gets you wanting to start pushing the snowball (sometimes a LOT), and when you sense the snowball starting to move, then (a) there's a small sense of resolution in that in and of itself, and (b) you can sense, and enjoy, that the escalating process has begun. Sexual excitement feels, to me, like a warmth and tingling in my private parts that becomes very distracting until relieved. Sexual desire - if that's what you mean by craving - feels like just about any other sort of happy anticipation. "Hmmmmn, I really want to do this thing that feels good, right now. Yay, now I get to do this thing that feels good, right now!" I guess it can be described as wanting cake or whatever food you like to eat, or really want to eat. Except you feel it down there lol Blend all three of these, and I think you've pretty much got it. Beyond that, trying to explain it to someone who's never experienced it (I have on very rare occasion) is somewhat akin to explaining colour to someone blind from birth. Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 ...trying to explain it to someone who's never experienced it (I have on very rare occasion) is somewhat akin to explaining colour to someone blind from birth. Yeah 'cause I don't understand wanting to eat with my privates. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
blane2 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 It's my understanding that it is a warmth... a feeling of closeness, excitement and giddiness which draws people close and leads to sexual intercourse. Other time it's might just be a biological reaction to a physical stimulation which initiates it but as far as I can tell those other feelings come along with it after the "mating offer" is accepted and while one is engaged in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Shinnok Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Like people have said, it's like an itch. Depending on the intensity, it can be pretty noticeable In my case, sexual craving feels like my mind and body are saying "Oh man..WANTWANT" but then realizing I'm in front of a computer monitor Then I faintly hear in my head Link to post Share on other sites
ktbgreat2 Posted September 5, 2010 Share Posted September 5, 2010 Could seeing somebody and wanting to have sex with them, be kinda like hearing a great song that you just cant help but wanna dance, sing, just jiggy with it? No matter how you try to hold it in..itll just bust out.. tapping your feet, waggin your hips.. humming... same? Link to post Share on other sites
Olivier Posted September 5, 2010 Share Posted September 5, 2010 Could seeing somebody and wanting to have sex with them, be kinda like hearing a great song that you just cant help but wanna dance, sing, just jiggy with it? No matter how you try to hold it in..itll just bust out.. tapping your feet, waggin your hips.. humming... same? I like this! Even better, it still works on the level where if you're in a situation where doing those things would be socially inappropriate (and with sex, it usually is - for example in a shopping centre :P) then you can still sort of sing it to yourself in your head. I like this a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Could seeing somebody and wanting to have sex with them, be kinda like hearing a great song that you just cant help but wanna dance, sing, just jiggy with it? No matter how you try to hold it in..itll just bust out.. tapping your feet, waggin your hips.. humming... same? I like this! Even better, it still works on the level where if you're in a situation where doing those things would be socially inappropriate (and with sex, it usually is - for example in a shopping centre :P) then you can still sort of sing it to yourself in your head. I like this a lot! I can get the urge to sing and dance and not act on it easily. My body is so close to doing it but its also too lazy to do it. I just get (as usual, Ive noticed i say this a LOT) a random adrenaline rush... >.< I dunno... If I gave into every random urge that is almost unbearable I'd be punching and kicking my way around, dancing every five minutes, hugging and kissing random people, hugging plenty of trees, playing with children and animals and taking loads of pictures and shouting a whole load of random things. So yeah, I'd seem kind of insane. So I just sit there itching to do a lot of things all the time. (I say I'm impulsive but that's good self-control tbh). [i get sort of adrenaline rushes from loads of external stimulation so I get that feeling a lot... sexual arousal isn't so often but its not to different. I just don't have a set action lined up for the feeling... =/] Link to post Share on other sites
asexual Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 I think it's like being hungry. But someone once told me it's like NOT being hungry. Which confused me even more. Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 I think it's like being hungry. But someone once told me it's like NOT being hungry. Which confused me even more. To me its [physically] like having a rubber around your thumb really really tight and it gets kinda warm and tingles then just starts hurting and even after you solve the 'problem' it hurts for a while afterwards. And you just have to wonder for ages till its gonna feel normal or ignore it and carry on with what your doing. I don't see it as being hungry at all. But I don't know if that really is arousal. It just seems like something going wrong and getting confused to me. -.- Link to post Share on other sites
Hobbes! Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 How about a different take on this question (I'm not trying to hi-jack this thread, I'd like to know too ;) ) - How do you distinguish sexual craving from an emotional craving? That is, how is it different from a plain 'ol crush? Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Sexual is physical. I assumed that anyway. I can't relate the two myself. =l Link to post Share on other sites
asexual Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 I wonder if it's like wanting a hug from someone. Link to post Share on other sites
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