TransWhatevers of AVEN

[daveb]

Around $50 is really inexpensive as these things go!

PM sent. :)

[Calligraphette_Coe]

In my experience wig shops tend to seem trans-friendly (of course, there are always exceptions, but you don't have to put up with them). Possibly because some of us need to supplement our regular hair so we're good customers (and possibly an interesting change of pace).

I have had some makeovers and photos and other stuff done at a few different places. The services and what they do and how they do it may differ from one place to another. But in general, I think they're a good way to try things out. Especially for people who don't have much experience with makeup or with going out in public (if that's what someone wants to try). I know of one place in New England that seems widely known in CD circles. I don't know if that's the same place you found out about. I have had glamorous makeup/makeovers done, and gotten posed photos. That showed me I could look pretty decent. I have had more natural daytime makeup done, and been accompanied in public, shopping, dining, etc. That showed me I could go out in public and have a good time and hardly attract any notice.

One thing they all did was be very open and encouraging and accepting. The people that do these kinds of services do it because they are accepting and want to help people in the "community" (as well as for the money, of course). They seem to genuinely like talking to us and helping us. I definitely think it's worth trying at least once, if you can afford it. At least for me, they were great learning experiences. Don't let fear stop you.

Reading this, I'm thinking 'Sherman! Set the Waybac machine for Little Five Points in Atlanta, summer of '95.' I bought some of my nicest wigs there and felt completely at home walking around there. The salespeople there were just sooo nice and gave really good advice.

Hadley dear? Really good wigs make you feel like you hardly have them on. And the nice thing is that they can be styled in ways you can't go to work with with your regular bob. I have had shoulder length hair for the entire time I've worked at my present transphobic employer, but I have to leave it androgynously straight as an arrow so as to stay stealth. Not so with a good human hair wig or some of the newer artificial ones.

Oh, one bad thing though? If you trim them, they don't grow back.... :::::ducking:::::::

[Valiant]

It's great that girl scouts are accepting of all girls! That's the way a youth program should be.

The only thing I remember about going to girl guides (that's what they call girl scouts here) is going to the hall and buying a 20 cent "Icy cup" (cordial frozen into a disposable plastic cup). We'd spend the rest of the afternoon devouring it, in amongst playing games like tiggy (tag?) and hide and seek. My favourites were the blueberry and cola ones.

Thanks Heart!

My appointment went okay, but things really weren't working in my favour.

First we left the house 10 minutes late as the person driving me there had just finished work, had to go through heaps of road works because the highway between where we live and Sydney is being upgraded. When we finally got to Sydney we were battling peak hour traffic. If that wasn't enough our GPS sent us to the opposite end of the street to where we actually needed to be. In the middle of Sydney (or any big city), you can imagine how much of a screw up/time waster that was, considering the street was bisected by an on ramp for the motorway. In the end I was 40 minutes late, with enough stress built up to make me want to throw the towel in and say "Stuff it, I want to go home".

I stayed despite wanting to dig a hole in the nearest patch of dirt and bury myself in it. The doctor I originally booked my appointment for was unable to see me as she had two patients left before she had to go home. I wasn't entirely up the creek without a paddle though, as she did speak to a colleague before leaving and managed to get me an appointment with her instead. If I hadn't had travelled 3 hours and 200kms, I doubt I would've be able to be seen the same day.

When I finally did get in there I was a mix of I feel rotten and play it cool, everything's fine. I explained how I felt and why I was there, but I could tell that my difficulty with being able to remember anything other than a few bits here and there from my childhood/adolescence wasn't helping. Then she asked if I experienced dysphoria (or if I referred to it as something else, that). I glossed over my discomfort with my body and it's functions, it was very uncomfortable for me to explain how I felt. I feel like I didn't do myself any favours there either. Sigh. The doc was really nice and I knew she was doing the right thing by asking me those questions, but it was still uncomfortable for me.

In the end I received a referral to a psychiatrist and a form for some blood tests. I wasn't expecting the blood tests, so you can imagine how difficult it was to find my veins with only a few mouthfuls of fluid intake that day. I chugged a small bottle of water, had to put a hot water balloon on my arm (to bring the veins out?) and spent nearly as long in the pathology office as I did in the doctor's office. Overall 3 of the 4 blood tests were able to be taken before my arm gave up and withheld the rest. Apparently the final vial was optional anyway, but I would've sat there for another hour or so if necessary.

So I left the docs feeling like someone had stolen my sweet roll, and decided to go home instead of going to the support group I was an hour late for anyway. I have to wait until Monday afternoon to book more appointments, one for the psychiatrist and one for the GP to revisit the gender issues topic and to discuss the blood test results. I hate this, being terrified of docs. Why is an event I don't remember most of still affecting me like this. Ugh.

I'm glad I knew in advance that I'd need to see a psych for an assessment, otherwise I think the wind would have been well and truly knocked out of my sails. I considered giving up and waiting until 2017 since we're moving back to Sydney then, but I don't think I'd be able to spend another two years like this. Nine is enough as it is, depression sucks.

I have a massive headache that isn't doing my mood any favours. D:

[Heart]

I've got a question for all you trans-thread-dwellers ;)

Much to my surprise, in the resource list packet the gender clinic gave me, there was a place listed very near me that apparently while primarily a wig shop, also hosts trans/cross-dressing social events, makeovers, photo shoots, and a bunch of other stuff. Color me intrigued.

It seems like a very on-the-level place and there was even an article about them in the local paper months ago (silly me, I didn't read it, and I've since thrown it away). In the interest of not pinpointing my exact location too specifically, let me know if you want me to PM you their website. They seem to have a lot of "glamour" style shots shown there (not really my taste), but they can do pretty much anything it seems like.

Has anyone ever done anything like this before? What did you think? The notion of going for one of the photo shoot sessions makes me feel 100% excited and 100% scared.

I wonder if there exist places for going the other direction... AFAB to masculine?

It's great that girl scouts are accepting of all girls! That's the way a youth program should be.

The only thing I remember about going to girl guides (that's what they call girl scouts here) is going to the hall and buying a 20 cent "Icy cup" (cordial frozen into a disposable plastic cup). We'd spend the rest of the afternoon devouring it, in amongst playing games like tiggy (tag?) and hide and seek. My favourites were the blueberry and cola ones.

Thanks Heart!

My appointment went okay, but things really weren't working in my favour.

First we left the house 10 minutes late as the person driving me there had just finished work, had to go through heaps of road works because the highway between where we live and Sydney is being upgraded. When we finally got to Sydney we were battling peak hour traffic. If that wasn't enough our GPS sent us to the opposite end of the street to where we actually needed to be. In the middle of Sydney (or any big city), you can imagine how much of a screw up/time waster that was, considering the street was bisected by an on ramp for the motorway. In the end I was 40 minutes late, with enough stress built up to make me want to throw the towel in and say "Stuff it, I want to go home".

I stayed despite wanting to dig a hole in the nearest patch of dirt and bury myself in it. The doctor I originally booked my appointment for was unable to see me as she had two patients left before she had to go home. I wasn't entirely up the creek without a paddle though, as she did speak to a colleague before leaving and managed to get me an appointment with her instead. If I hadn't had travelled 3 hours and 200kms, I doubt I would've be able to be seen the same day.

When I finally did get in there I was a mix of I feel rotten and play it cool, everything's fine. I explained how I felt and why I was there, but I could tell that my difficulty with being able to remember anything other than a few bits here and there from my childhood/adolescence wasn't helping. Then she asked if I experienced dysphoria (or if I referred to it as something else, that). I glossed over my discomfort with my body and it's functions, it was very uncomfortable for me to explain how I felt. I feel like I didn't do myself any favours there either. Sigh. The doc was really nice and I knew she was doing the right thing by asking me those questions, but it was still uncomfortable for me.

In the end I received a referral to a psychiatrist and a form for some blood tests. I wasn't expecting the blood tests, so you can imagine how difficult it was to find my veins with only a few mouthfuls of fluid intake that day. I chugged a small bottle of water, had to put a hot water balloon on my arm (to bring the veins out?) and spent nearly as long in the pathology office as I did in the doctor's office. Overall 3 of the 4 blood tests were able to be taken before my arm gave up and withheld the rest. Apparently the final vial was optional anyway, but I would've sat there for another hour or so if necessary.

So I left the docs feeling like someone had stolen my sweet roll, and decided to go home instead of going to the support group I was an hour late for anyway. I have to wait until Monday afternoon to book more appointments, one for the psychiatrist and one for the GP to revisit the gender issues topic and to discuss the blood test results. I hate this, being terrified of docs. Why is an event I don't remember most of still affecting me like this. Ugh.

I'm glad I knew in advance that I'd need to see a psych for an assessment, otherwise I think the wind would have been well and truly knocked out of my sails. I considered giving up and waiting until 2017 since we're moving back to Sydney then, but I don't think I'd be able to spend another two years like this. Nine is enough as it is, depression sucks.

I have a massive headache that isn't doing my mood any favours. D:

Wow. That sounds really rough. I'm so sorry the whole fiasco ended up like that :( For what it's worth, at least you made it! You've done one of the two things they needed from you. Halfway through the first round! You can do it!!

[butterflydreams]

In my experience wig shops tend to seem trans-friendly (of course, there are always exceptions, but you don't have to put up with them). Possibly because some of us need to supplement our regular hair so we're good customers (and possibly an interesting change of pace).

I have had some makeovers and photos and other stuff done at a few different places. The services and what they do and how they do it may differ from one place to another. But in general, I think they're a good way to try things out. Especially for people who don't have much experience with makeup or with going out in public (if that's what someone wants to try). I know of one place in New England that seems widely known in CD circles. I don't know if that's the same place you found out about. I have had glamorous makeup/makeovers done, and gotten posed photos. That showed me I could look pretty decent. I have had more natural daytime makeup done, and been accompanied in public, shopping, dining, etc. That showed me I could go out in public and have a good time and hardly attract any notice.

One thing they all did was be very open and encouraging and accepting. The people that do these kinds of services do it because they are accepting and want to help people in the "community" (as well as for the money, of course). They seem to genuinely like talking to us and helping us. I definitely think it's worth trying at least once, if you can afford it. At least for me, they were great learning experiences. Don't let fear stop you.

Reading this, I'm thinking 'Sherman! Set the Waybac machine for Little Five Points in Atlanta, summer of '95.' I bought some of my nicest wigs there and felt completely at home walking around there. The salespeople there were just sooo nice and gave really good advice.

Hadley dear? Really good wigs make you feel like you hardly have them on. And the nice thing is that they can be styled in ways you can't go to work with with your regular bob. I have had shoulder length hair for the entire time I've worked at my present transphobic employer, but I have to leave it androgynously straight as an arrow so as to stay stealth. Not so with a good human hair wig or some of the newer artificial ones.

Oh, one bad thing though? If you trim them, they don't grow back.... :::::ducking:::::::

Ooo, thanks! That's very encouraging. I guess, to be fair, I've never worn a wig before, so without trying, I don't actually know how I'd really feel. I didn't know they could be styled...that's interesting. And of course, nothing prevents me from continuing to grow my hair out, which I plan on doing. Wanna know a secret though? Part of me is afraid to do it because I'm afraid I'll like what I see too much. I've been down so long, I'm afraid to be happy. Sounds dumb, but it's the truth.

I don't *think* I was ever the child to cut Barbie's hair ;) My sister may have? :lol:

I wonder if there exist places for going the other direction... AFAB to masculine?

I don't see why not, though I imagine it would be fundamentally different. For the most part, guys don't really place a lot of emphasis on their looks, and if they do, it's relatively basic. If I had something to help AFAB people move to masculine, I'd probably focus it more on your stance, how you held your body basically. Oh, and I'd show them how to tie a tie. It's easy, but the difference between a good tie and a bad tie isn't much :P

I bet it would be equivalently helpful to maybe show them how to use binders. From what I've read, there's lots of misinformation out there, or people just trying it on their own without knowing how to do it properly and safely.

I'm the last person you'd want to ask for input and help on being masculine. Good opportunity for someone else I think though! :)

[DigitalBookDust]

Sorry you had such a rough time, Vale! At least that appt is over with! Do you see the same psych next time or will you have to start all over again?

Sending you all my best!

[Heart]

I don't see why not, though I imagine it would be fundamentally different. For the most part, guys don't really place a lot of emphasis on their looks, and if they do, it's relatively basic. If I had something to help AFAB people move to masculine, I'd probably focus it more on your stance, how you held your body basically. Oh, and I'd show them how to tie a tie. It's easy, but the difference between a good tie and a bad tie isn't much :P

I bet it would be equivalently helpful to maybe show them how to use binders. From what I've read, there's lots of misinformation out there, or people just trying it on their own without knowing how to do it properly and safely.

I'm the last person you'd want to ask for input and help on being masculine. Good opportunity for someone else I think though! :)

Ha. I actually know how to tie a tie; I lived in Australia for two years in high school, where we had to wear a uniform. The uniform was either a dress or a shirt and tie, so guess which one I went for? ;)

And I've got the binder thing down. I guess I just need good fashion advice for being a dude... I can't clothes shop for the life of me, but maybe that just makes me more dude-ish if you're going for stereotypes :P

[Calligraphette_Coe]

Ooo, thanks! That's very encouraging. I guess, to be fair, I've never worn a wig before, so without trying, I don't actually know how I'd really feel. I didn't know they could be styled...that's interesting. And of course, nothing prevents me from continuing to grow my hair out, which I plan on doing. Wanna know a secret though? Part of me is afraid to do it because I'm afraid I'll like what I see too much. I've been down so long, I'm afraid to be happy. Sounds dumb, but it's the truth.

:0

Never??????

Oh. My. God.

Makeup by Revlon= $50

Good quality Jon Renau medium length wig= $200

Looking in the mirror after putting it all on and going doe eyed when you see your sister there?

Priceless.

I think I've seen your picture on your website? I'm just making a wild guess on how you'd look, and my first impression would be a young Kim Basinger.

[butterflydreams]

And I've got the binder thing down. I guess I just need good fashion advice for being a dude... I can't clothes shop for the life of me, but maybe that just makes me more dude-ish if you're going for stereotypes :P

That's good! Unfortunately, I'm the last person who should be giving out dude fashion advice. I mean, I'm totally capable, but I'm assuming you're looking for *good* advice ;)

Ooo, thanks! That's very encouraging. I guess, to be fair, I've never worn a wig before, so without trying, I don't actually know how I'd really feel. I didn't know they could be styled...that's interesting. And of course, nothing prevents me from continuing to grow my hair out, which I plan on doing. Wanna know a secret though? Part of me is afraid to do it because I'm afraid I'll like what I see too much. I've been down so long, I'm afraid to be happy. Sounds dumb, but it's the truth.

:0

Never??????

Oh. My. God.

Makeup by Revlon= $50

Good quality Jon Renau medium length wig= $200

Looking in the mirror after putting it all on and going doe eyed when you see your sister there?

Priceless.

I think I've seen your picture on your website? I'm just making a wild guess on how you'd look, and my first impression would be a young Kim Basinger.

I haven't had a real photo of me on my website in a while, and the picture that was there was like 3 years old :P Maybe you're talking about the avatar I made? My brother said it looks very much like me. I think I'd look better with longer (shoulder length) hair, but realistically speaking, a bob is probably what it'll end up as. When I went to the hair dresser in February, I showed her a picture of what I wanted, and she said it was a bob. She could've called it a "carl" and I would've believed her :lol:

I know it sounds silly, but looking in the mirror and having that experience? It's scary to me. I know I'll smile. I know I'll be happy about it. Which would really just seal the deal so to speak. No more doubt after that.

(Had to look up Kim Basinger)...maybe :) I don't think I could ever be a blonde though. If I had to say what I wanted to shoot for, it'd be something like Anne Hathaway or Carrie Anne Moss.

[Kappamaki]

Ooo, thanks! That's very encouraging. I guess, to be fair, I've never worn a wig before, so without trying, I don't actually know how I'd really feel. I didn't know they could be styled...that's interesting. And of course, nothing prevents me from continuing to grow my hair out, which I plan on doing. Wanna know a secret though? Part of me is afraid to do it because I'm afraid I'll like what I see too much. I've been down so long, I'm afraid to be happy. Sounds dumb, but it's the truth.

I've worn a wig for a few cosplays and LARP costumes, and in all honesty, to me it feels almost just like wearing a hat - one with an odd shape and texture, but nonetheless a hat. Since I wear a hat 99% of the time when I go out, it's a pretty familiar feeling.

[Heart]

(Had to look up Kim Basinger)...maybe :) I don't think I could ever be a blonde though. If I had to say what I wanted to shoot for, it'd be something like Anne Hathaway or Carrie Anne Moss.

When I was in high school, a good friend of mine said I reminded her of Anne Hathaway a bit. She's a cool person, so I'm happy with that :D Same person said I looked like Audrey Hepburn because I was "elegant and distinguished", so again I'm happy with it :)

[butterflydreams]

(Had to look up Kim Basinger)...maybe :) I don't think I could ever be a blonde though. If I had to say what I wanted to shoot for, it'd be something like Anne Hathaway or Carrie Anne Moss.

When I was in high school, a good friend of mine said I reminded her of Anne Hathaway a bit. She's a cool person, so I'm happy with that :D Same person said I looked like Audrey Hepburn because I was "elegant and distinguished", so again I'm happy with it :)

The only weird thing about Anne Hathaway is that my grandmother's best friend has the exact same name (and of course, she's in her 80s). She's a pretty feisty old lady, just like my grandma though, so probably not bad either way :lol:

[Calligraphette_Coe]

I know it sounds silly, but looking in the mirror and having that experience? It's scary to me. I know I'll smile. I know I'll be happy about it. Which would really just seal the deal so to speak. No more doubt after that.

It's like coming home to a home you never knew you had. It's a good kind of scary, just like your first time. You're never the same afterwards-- you begin to believe.

[Calligraphette_Coe]

I don't see why not, though I imagine it would be fundamentally different. For the most part, guys don't really place a lot of emphasis on their looks, and if they do, it's relatively basic. If I had something to help AFAB people move to masculine, I'd probably focus it more on your stance, how you held your body basically. Oh, and I'd show them how to tie a tie. It's easy, but the difference between a good tie and a bad tie isn't much :P

I bet it would be equivalently helpful to maybe show them how to use binders. From what I've read, there's lots of misinformation out there, or people just trying it on their own without knowing how to do it properly and safely.

I'm the last person you'd want to ask for input and help on being masculine. Good opportunity for someone else I think though! :)

Ha. I actually know how to tie a tie; I lived in Australia for two years in high school, where we had to wear a uniform. The uniform was either a dress or a shirt and tie, so guess which one I went for? ;)

And I've got the binder thing down. I guess I just need good fashion advice for being a dude... I can't clothes shop for the life of me, but maybe that just makes me more dude-ish if you're going for stereotypes :P

Several months ago there was an article on CNN about a woman who became an expert at looking like a man. She did various characters, one of which was a scary-good imitation of Mark Twain. I think another was Sigmund Freud. Now I can't find the link anymore to post. Arrrrrrrghhhhh! She did it to raise money for charity.

IDK, I'm a pretty good shapeshifter and have often thought of ways to help guys. If ONLY there were a little more uniformity of height between the sexes, that's always one of the biggest 'tells' when going from female to male.

[butterflydreams]

IDK, I'm a pretty good shapeshifter and have often thought of ways to help guys. If ONLY there were a little more uniformity of height between the sexes, that's always one of the biggest 'tells' when going from female to male.

I'd suggest trying my original plan. Now that I'm working on transition, my short height bothers me soooo much less. Before that though, I used to tell people I planned on being short so I could drive all the best cars. Are Europeans shorter on average? Their cars are so small! Even 6-foot tall adult male is going to have a hell of a time squishing himself into something like a Fiat X 1/9. Or any classic Porsche. They're so tiny!

I've met very few adult men who are shorter than me, and I'd say at least 1/3 (maybe as much as 1/2) of adult women are taller than me. And if you're right on the line, you've got solid options like hairstyles and shoe inserts. A combination of which could probably get you 3-4 inches. I dunno, for me, I don't think it's a tell. There are short guys out there. It happens. I think if you're rocking on all other fronts, most other guys aren't going to look at your height and think it's fishy. If you're really short, and hair and inserts don't do enough, I'd suggest bulking up. I think that'll really help.

[JAKQ7111]

IDK, I'm a pretty good shapeshifter and have often thought of ways to help guys. If ONLY there were a little more uniformity of height between the sexes, that's always one of the biggest 'tells' when going from female to male.

I've met very few adult men who are shorter than me, and I'd say at least 1/3 (maybe as much as 1/2) of adult women are taller than me. And if you're right on the line, you've got solid options like hairstyles and shoe inserts. A combination of which could probably get you 3-4 inches. I dunno, for me, I don't think it's a tell. There are short guys out there. It happens. I think if you're rocking on all other fronts, most other guys aren't going to look at your height and think it's fishy. If you're really short, and hair and inserts don't do enough, I'd suggest bulking up. I think that'll really help.

How tall are you (both Hadley and ZP)? I'm about 5'5" (165 cm or so) myself, and that is actually not a bad thing when it comes to my gender presentation. I'm on the short side (though not abnormally so) for a guy, and about average for a girl, so it works out for me! It double works because I am most often attracted to taller women/other people larger than I am, so I've got nothing but love for my height. Ironically, it's my cisgender brother with more of the height complex, and he's a full two inches taller than I am, so there ya go!

[Calligraphette_Coe]

IDK, I'm a pretty good shapeshifter and have often thought of ways to help guys. If ONLY there were a little more uniformity of height between the sexes, that's always one of the biggest 'tells' when going from female to male.

I've met very few adult men who are shorter than me, and I'd say at least 1/3 (maybe as much as 1/2) of adult women are taller than me. And if you're right on the line, you've got solid options like hairstyles and shoe inserts. A combination of which could probably get you 3-4 inches. I dunno, for me, I don't think it's a tell. There are short guys out there. It happens. I think if you're rocking on all other fronts, most other guys aren't going to look at your height and think it's fishy. If you're really short, and hair and inserts don't do enough, I'd suggest bulking up. I think that'll really help.

How tall are you (both Hadley and ZP)? I'm about 5'5" (165 cm or so) myself, and that is actually not a bad thing when it comes to my gender presentation. I'm on the short side (though not abnormally so) for a guy, and about average for a girl, so it works out for me! It double works because I am most often attracted to taller women/other people larger than I am, so I've got nothing but love for my height. Ironically, it's my cisgender brother with more of the height complex, and he's a full two inches taller than I am, so there ya go!

I'm little under 5' 8", which I've been told is 'model' height. I have short legs, though, and have an awful time finding men jeans that don't drag on the floor and aren't tight in the seat. Funny thing is, women's petite jeans fit me better, but since I can't carry a handbag, what is one to do for pockets?

[daveb]

I'm about 5'11" and my trouble is getting women's clothes with enough length in the torso and sleeves (for long sleeve items). I tend to look for tops labeled as tunics, which are generally longer. And I've found a few good long-sleeved items (like a coat) at Long Tall Sally, and even a recent purchase (sort of a lightweight wrap sweater) from Nordstrom Rack.

I don't think height in and of itself is a big "tell" either way. But if you're enough out of the range for the gender you are presenting as it may make people take a closer look. And then they may spot other things that give you away.

But I think "passing" can be a wild goose chase. I really think confidence counts for more. I think I've developed some in recent years, and haven't had any real problems out and about. I've gotten more smiles. If there have been any stares or snickers or anything I haven't noticed them.

Still, I do understand wanting to look as much like you want to look as possible. I haven't come across any mentions of anything like transformation services or the like, for FtM people. Seems like they get short-changed or overlooked a lot. I have seen youtube videos where AFAB people have done transformations/makeovers to look masculine. Seems like it involves disguising feminine body shapes with judicious use of clothing, padding and binding, as needed; some makeup or fake facial hair; and attitude and posture.

[butterflydreams]

IDK, I'm a pretty good shapeshifter and have often thought of ways to help guys. If ONLY there were a little more uniformity of height between the sexes, that's always one of the biggest 'tells' when going from female to male.

I've met very few adult men who are shorter than me, and I'd say at least 1/3 (maybe as much as 1/2) of adult women are taller than me. And if you're right on the line, you've got solid options like hairstyles and shoe inserts. A combination of which could probably get you 3-4 inches. I dunno, for me, I don't think it's a tell. There are short guys out there. It happens. I think if you're rocking on all other fronts, most other guys aren't going to look at your height and think it's fishy. If you're really short, and hair and inserts don't do enough, I'd suggest bulking up. I think that'll really help.

How tall are you (both Hadley and ZP)? I'm about 5'5" (165 cm or so) myself, and that is actually not a bad thing when it comes to my gender presentation. I'm on the short side (though not abnormally so) for a guy, and about average for a girl, so it works out for me! It double works because I am most often attracted to taller women/other people larger than I am, so I've got nothing but love for my height. Ironically, it's my cisgender brother with more of the height complex, and he's a full two inches taller than I am, so there ya go!

I'm little under 5' 8", which I've been told is 'model' height. I have short legs, though, and have an awful time finding men jeans that don't drag on the floor and aren't tight in the seat. Funny thing is, women's petite jeans fit me better, but since I can't carry a handbag, what is one to do for pockets?

Zen and I are twins evidently. I used to lie and say I was 5'8". With big shoes maybe. In reality I'm a solid 5'7". Which is apparently "model" height? WOO! ;) Oh I feel you on the pants thing. I have to roll up my pant legs when wearing my women's shoes since they're very thin soled. Apparently it's the soles of my oxfords that were keeping my pant legs off the ground.

Have you ever heard or tested that rectangle or square thing? Basically you measure your height against your armspan. I'm very much a square. It means I can do "weird" things like literally putting my foot in my mouth :lol: (great party trick!)

[Kappamaki]

Have you ever heard or tested that rectangle or square thing? Basically you measure your height against your armspan. I'm very much a square. It means I can do "weird" things like literally putting my foot in my mouth :lol: (great party trick!)

So I just read this and, without bothering measuring my height against my armspan, promptly put my foot (or some toes) in my mouth. It tasted... nostalgic? I apparently did that more often as a child. No idea how that makes me a square, though, being kind of lanky.

I'm pretty tall, by the way - 5'10"! It's the same exact height as my mother and sister and shorter than my father and brother. That's Dutch ancestry for you!

[Kellam]

I'm taller than both of my parents and my father is the shortest in the family. Kappamaki, like you I stand at a solid 5' 10". I don't know about the Dutch influence, I do have some Dutch blood but I am mostly Irish with a bit of UK thrown in. I like my hight. There are plenty of women around my hight. I have more,than a few cis female friends of basically the same proportions. I caught some of the World Cup, my dude friend is always watching sports, and noted that I have the exact build as many of the women who play at that level. Since I am an athletic woman it is nice to know that I also look like one. Of all the things that "prevent me from passing" I think my hight is the least of them.

[DigitalBookDust]

I'm short-5 ft. I pass pretty well for a boy but am too small for a man, which suits me just fine, as I feel boyish but not manly. This is one reason why I am FtN rather then FtM. I'm just not very guyish-at least not like the men around here. They're all into hunting, fishing, motorcycles, the great outdoors, etc. I'm slight and bookish, hate camping, and have a hipster's sense of style. I don't swagger; I speak softly and have an over-developed vocabulary. But I definitely am NOT a woman. I don't fit in with them, either. I'm not really kid-friendly, am not into church (kinder, kirke, kucke), and am not overly domestic. Color me neutrois.

[butterflydreams]

So here's a cute kind of happy story for you.

I don't normally have positive dreams. They usually revolve around my car being stolen or the apocalypse...yikes! But last night I had a dream that I was with a bunch of people, loading stuff into a trailer. It wasn't people I knew. When we finished, we started walking to this house. I was talking with this one girl in the group who looked very familiar. She was cute in a simple way, and super nice.

We somehow started chatting about transgender stuff, and specifically transition. I mentioned to her that I was starting that process. She didn't say she was trans, but I had this weird sense that she was. She basically told me that as long as I did my due diligence, it was completely legit and worthwhile.

I walked with her the rest of the way to the house and when we got there, I realized I hadn't gotten her name. I asked and she said her name was ______. Basically the only way you can kind of feminize my actual, real life, given name. She walked into the house, and I stood outside dumbfounded. Like this was the twist at the end of an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Was that why she looked familiar? Was she me?

Anyway, probably just a silly dream. But I thought it was cute and thinking about it makes me smile.

[Calligraphette_Coe]

Zen and I are twins evidently. I used to lie and say I was 5'8". With big shoes maybe. In reality I'm a solid 5'7". Which is apparently "model" height? WOO! ;) Oh I feel you on the pants thing. I have to roll up my pant legs when wearing my women's shoes since they're very thin soled. Apparently it's the soles of my oxfords that were keeping my pant legs off the ground.

Have you ever heard or tested that rectangle or square thing? Basically you measure your height against your armspan. I'm very much a square. It means I can do "weird" things like literally putting my foot in my mouth :lol: (great party trick!)

No, I never tried that one, but there is another one where you stand back from a wall about the distance of the length of your torso, set a chair in front of you and, while bending at the waist and putting your head against the wall, try to pick the chair up and bring it in contact with your chest. Women can often do it easily, men almost never can. It has to do with your center of gravity, which is much lower in someone with a female shape. I can't quite do it, but I can get close.

IIRC, the reason female models have to be taller than the norm is because clothes hang better on someone who is taller. There's also the opinion that being tall makes for a more aesthetic visual perspective. A lot of female models also have smaller breasts, which seems counterintuitive.

Another of my funny stories? On one all-female discussion group on women's issues that has been around now for nearly 20 years, we'd sometimes ham it up and take photos of ourselves dressed to the nines with feather boas, et al. One time, I really went for the gusto, wearing a really feminine number with stilettos and black hose. The comments were priceless, but the one that really surprised me was that everyone thought I had legs to die for. One of my friends said, "No fair! You get those voluptuous calves and *we* get chicken legs! I don't know how else to put it..... but "bitch" come close. " :0

[Princess Flufflebutt]

So here's a cute kind of happy story for you.

I don't normally have positive dreams. They usually revolve around my car being stolen or the apocalypse...yikes! But last night I had a dream that I was with a bunch of people, loading stuff into a trailer. It wasn't people I knew. When we finished, we started walking to this house. I was talking with this one girl in the group who looked very familiar. She was cute in a simple way, and super nice.

We somehow started chatting about transgender stuff, and specifically transition. I mentioned to her that I was starting that process. She didn't say she was trans, but I had this weird sense that she was. She basically told me that as long as I did my due diligence, it was completely legit and worthwhile.

I walked with her the rest of the way to the house and when we got there, I realized I hadn't gotten her name. I asked and she said her name was ______. Basically the only way you can kind of feminize my actual, real life, given name. She walked into the house, and I stood outside dumbfounded. Like this was the twist at the end of an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Was that why she looked familiar? Was she me?

Anyway, probably just a silly dream. But I thought it was cute and thinking about it makes me smile.

Oh wow! That dream sounds so nice!

[Valiant]

Sorry for not quoting posts, this forum doesn't like me trying to minimise quote pyramids.

Heart:

Thanks again Heart! :D

In the end it's taken me a couple of days to see the positive sides for what they truly are. I've had blood tests, received a referral and now know where to go in future (probably the second biggest thing, inner city Sydney is confusing and stressful). I primarily went there for the referral, I'm not sure what the blood tests are for, but seeing as I haven't had any for half a decade or so, it can't hurt to have em. I'll be better prepared when going there next and depending on when I book the psych eval for, I'll likely have sorted through more feelings on the matter. I'd rather go in there with the few memories I do have instead of going in there and saying that I can't remember much. I suppose what they're looking for is how consistent this has been, how long it may have been present for and how I feel about it now since all things said and done, the present is what I've got to deal with tomorrow, and not stuff that happened a decade or two ago.

tea/yada:

Thanks tea/yada! I've had a couple of days to cool down over it, and I was probably overreacting. Nonetheless I felt horrible at the time, enough to whine about it at any rate. :lol:

I'll be seeing a new psych, however I'm okay with that. I edited this post in part, as it kinda went on longer than I expected.

I have two choices as I received two referrals, one to a psych in the private sector and one to a psych in the public sector. Public has a wait list until October at the least, and is covered by Medicare,.Private is more likely to have a short wait list, is closer to us by about 100kms and while expensive has a Medicare rebate for just over half the initial consult fee.

I don't know if I can wait for another four months, on top of whatever number of appointments it takes to be approved/disapproved for HRT, and then if I am approved for HRT, the wait list for the Endocrinologist. Gah, this sounds like I'm being negative again. The way I look at it is that I can act sooner rather than later, and receive care at financial cost to me, or wait another four months and possibly wallow in depression for just as long. I feel like the only thing holding me back right now is red tape and waiting lists. That sounds so incredibly selfish of me, but it's okay to want to have a chance at potential happiness, right?

At 5'5" (almost 5'6"!) or 167cm, I'm the shortest in my family. My sisters (both younger and older) and mother are taller than I am. 8)

[daveb]

Zen,

I looked up the chair lift thing on youtube to see how it's done. Some show it with the head against the wall, lifting the chair and then standing upright while holding the chair up. Some show it standing with one's back to the wall and doing the same thing. I can do it quite easily facing the wall, but not with my back against the wall.

I've been complimented on my legs, too. I thought it might be because of my years of commuting by bicycle.

[Calligraphette_Coe]

Zen,

I looked up the chair lift thing on youtube to see how it's done. Some show it with the head against the wall, lifting the chair and then standing upright while holding the chair up. Some show it standing with one's back to the wall and doing the same thing. I can do it quite easily facing the wall, but not with my back against the wall.

I've been complimented on my legs, too. I thought it might be because of my years of commuting by bicycle.

I kinda lucked out by not having bony knee caps. And part of my physical therapy regimen to get back into shape after my CVAs was just plain walking. Once I pretty much recovered, I just kept doing it. I used to walk anywhere between 5 and 15 miles a day when I had the time. I can't do anything strenuous, and I overheat very easily because of some of the medical things that happened to me, but I still walk a lot. I walk everywhere at work instead of using the phone system, and people seem to have accepted that. That, and being able to keep them shaved is what helped mine, I think. It's kind of my way of sneaking past the gender police ogres on my job.

[Heart]

Zen,

I looked up the chair lift thing on youtube to see how it's done. Some show it with the head against the wall, lifting the chair and then standing upright while holding the chair up. Some show it standing with one's back to the wall and doing the same thing. I can do it quite easily facing the wall, but not with my back against the wall.

I've been complimented on my legs, too. I thought it might be because of my years of commuting by bicycle.

I kinda lucked out by not having bony knee caps. And part of my physical therapy regimen to get back into shape after my CVAs was just plain walking. Once I pretty much recovered, I just kept doing it. I used to walk anywhere between 5 and 15 miles a day when I had the time. I can't do anything strenuous, and I overheat very easily because of some of the medical things that happened to me, but I still walk a lot. I walk everywhere at work instead of using the phone system, and people seem to have accepted that. That, and being able to keep them shaved is what helped mine, I think. It's kind of my way of sneaking past the gender police ogres on my job.

I love walking though <3 It's so calming, and in the right weather (ie not sun-burning weather), it can be quite meditative to just go on hours long walks.

[scarletlatitude]

<3 walks. They are my only favorite exercise.

I really wish there were masculine clothes that looked good on me. My body is very female. Trying to find masculine clothes that don't look girlish or look like a circus tent is difficult. :( If I could, I would go masculine all the time. With perhaps the exception of skirts in the summer. Sometimes it's just too damn hot to wear pants.

Androgyny moment of the day:

I had to go pick up my car from the shop. (Nothing major, just needed an inspection.) I decided to wear shorts because it's hot today. Ha, well, when I was putting on my shoes, I looked down and realized that I haven't shaved in like a long time. My first action after I realize unshaven legs is to find a mirror and stand as far away as a normal person would in public. Can I see it? No? Okay, good to go. :P Yeah I didn't even bother trying to hide it. I wish it was socially acceptable for women to be hairy. My hair gets really intense so I have to shave it eventually, but having to do it a little less often wouldn't be so bad.