Kelly Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Awesome news, Cement. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 that's good to hear, cement :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If I can do it, anyone can! Finally got around to saying that even though I'm growing my hair out, that's no excuse for it to look messy in the meantime. Found a bunch of pictures of hairstyles on women I wanted to shoot for, put them on my phone, went to the salon, showed the stylist the pictures...and...nothing happened! She said, "oh, ok yeah! We can definitely do that." Didn't matter that it was a picture of a woman or anything. Now I still have my longest hair ever on top, and it's cleaned up on the back and sides. I feel really great! One more step taken. 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Awesome, Hadley. :) You go. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Nice! So happy for you Hadley! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I hate my body, it is wrong for me people think i want to hear that i look good but when they tell me i look good i feel like they are valuing a worthless thing Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dash Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ever since I've began getting reacquainted with Hadley, I've struggled to get a good visual picture in my head of what she looks like. Sometimes I see her (more frequently as time goes on and I can change things), but sometimes I can't. I was going to ask my brother to photoshop a picture of me to help me out, but he's busy. Then I remembered back when I played Wii at my friend's house and we made Mii characters of ourselves. Despite being simple-ish cartoons, they always bared a striking resemblance. So I took to the internet and found a few sites where you can do this, but I liked this one the most: http://mybluerobot.com/create-your-own-avatar/ I had a lot of fun making female me. To try to keep myself honest, I first made one that I felt looked reasonably enough like male me and then kept as many of the same basic features when making female me. Put quite the smile on my face...so here you go My hair is much curlier than any of the options on the site, but this is as close as I could make for myself: 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I hate my body, it is wrong for mepeople think i want to hear that i look good but when they tell me i look good i feel like they are valuing a worthless thing It is awful indeed, that was one of my biggest problems presenting as male, complimments only served as painful barbs. Hence, for me at least, transition. I have been aproved to start hrt and will be obtaining my freedom in a bottle tomorrow. The tyranny of testosterone in my body is almost at an end! 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 As who I am I could not handle a transition. I'd rather go about guilty for lying by presenting as my body appears to be, then attempt to handle the anxiety of worrying if I 'pass'... I might need meds for anxiety as it is :( I think people who can go through such a change are so strong! To have the bravery to be who you are Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I'm not strong, I just couldn't handle the isolation, guilt, shame and anxiety of living how I had been. For me there is nothing worse than going back to that ugly place. Whatever the world may throw at me as a trans woman will never compare to the torture I have been through trying to live as the man I never was. The only strength I know I have is the ability to persevere. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Maybe it is my agender that gives me that perspective... Living as the gender I am not is the same as living as the gender I am not. To me you are awesome. I couldn't be like you, so I admire you. But it is that strength to persevere that I admire most in anyone... I have it too... it is such a bold feat of himankind to have that willpower. No matter how tough, we still push forward. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ever since I've began getting reacquainted with Hadley, I've struggled to get a good visual picture in my head of what she looks like. Sometimes I see her (more frequently as time goes on and I can change things), but sometimes I can't. I was going to ask my brother to photoshop a picture of me to help me out, but he's busy. Then I remembered back when I played Wii at my friend's house and we made Mii characters of ourselves. Despite being simple-ish cartoons, they always bared a striking resemblance. So I took to the internet and found a few sites where you can do this, but I liked this one the most: http://mybluerobot.com/create-your-own-avatar/[...] I managed to get a link to work, so hopefully there's a picture now. This is the me I would like to be (though the hair is a little long here, and my own us currently longer still). 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Hence, for me at least, transition. I have been aproved to start hrt and will be obtaining my freedom in a bottle tomorrow. The tyranny of testosterone in my body is almost at an end! Awesome news! :) Congratulations! 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 that is great, kellam :) what, on that my blue robot, you can't make one ear higher placed than the other, ridiculous ;) my social ware tends to have a blue shirt underneath the magenta jumper, it is a short sleeve shirt so i use it underneath the jumper :D i hadn't realised when i bought it it was short sleeve, i might have problems with attention to detail :D my hair tends to be between red andd brown, so to appease the masses who think i'm red, i went with red here. i remember in college, a person stood up before a lecturer arrived and asked the class what colour they thought my hair was 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Hence, for me at least, transition. I have been aproved to start hrt and will be obtaining my freedom in a bottle tomorrow. The tyranny of testosterone in my body is almost at an end! Woot! Hurrah! As who I am I could not handle a transition. I'd rather go about guilty for lying by presenting as my body appears to be, then attempt to handle the anxiety of worrying if I 'pass'... I might need meds for anxiety as it is :( I think people who can go through such a change are so strong! To have the bravery to be who you are I'm with Kellam. I'm far from strong, and I hate that it has to come to this point, but sometimes you do feel as though your choices are something or nothing. Will I be able to handle a transition? I have no idea. What I do know is that before I had that option in my life, I couldn't see any future at all. There was just nothing. She wants to be, whereas old me couldn't care less. That's no way to live. I'd rather work harder than ever to be a maybe passable, still equally weird young woman than continue to die slowly as a man. You have to do you...whatever that is. If feeling guilty for lying by presenting as your body appears to be is the lesser of two evils, that's totally ok. There's nothing at all wrong with that, and I don't see it as lying anyway. You're looking out for yourself. You're trying to take care of yourself and do the best you can. If that's not strength and bravery, I don't know what is. *hugs* 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You have to do you...whatever that is. If feeling guilty for lying by presenting as your body appears to be is the lesser of two evils, that's totally ok. There's nothing at all wrong with that, and I don't see it as lying anyway. You're looking out for yourself. You're trying to take care of yourself and do the best you can. If that's not strength and bravery, I don't know what is. *hugs* Hear hear! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 :redface: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 http://www.transgendermichigan.org/events/visibility.html today is international transgender day of visibility 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Happy trans* visibility day everyone! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 http://www.transgendermichigan.org/events/visibility.html today is international transgender day of visibility Happy trans* visibility day everyone! Well darn...for serious? :o I just happened to introduce my therapist to Hadley (me) today. Funny how that works out. Stressful for sure, but worth it. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
oldme Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm with Kellam. I'm far from strong, and I hate that it has to come to this point, but sometimes you do feel as though your choices are something or nothing. Will I be able to handle a transition? I have no idea. What I do know is that before I had that option in my life, I couldn't see any future at all. There was just nothing. She wants to be, whereas old me couldn't care less. That's no way to live. I'd rather work harder than ever to be a maybe passable, still equally weird young woman than continue to die slowly as a man. So true. Well darn...for serious? :o I just happened to introduce my therapist to Hadley (me) today. Funny how that works out. Stressful for sure, but worth it. Sounds cool :) I have an appointment with my therapist today and would really like to go as the real me, but it's hard to sneak out when you're still living under the same roof with a person who doesn't know the truth. It might sound weird that at this age I'm still living in the same household with my father, but it's a farming/generational thing. Yesterday my dad was talking again about inheritance and leaving the farm to me and my brother. It always makes me cringe. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dash Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Woah, people like my pic. Thanks! The site really got my eyes right. My hair, well, that's if I straightened it out somewhat. :) I've done that in the past, though not recently. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 http://www.transgendermichigan.org/events/visibility.html today is international transgender day of visibility I hope that a lot of good things happened. Awesome that there is a visibility day. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 http://www.transgendermichigan.org/events/visibility.html today is international transgender day of visibility Happy trans* visibility day everyone! Well darn...for serious? :o I just happened to introduce my therapist to Hadley (me) today. Funny how that works out. Stressful for sure, but worth it. Congratulations :D See? Celebrating it even without knowing it ;) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 http://www.transgendermichigan.org/events/visibility.html today is international transgender day of visibility I wanted to thank you for posting this. It was a very pleasant suprise for me. I was sitting in the waiting room of my doctor's office for what seemed like an eternity. I was there for my HRT prescription. Learning what day it was eased my nervous mind. Everything went perfectly... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Awesome. So you are now on HRT? You do not need to answer, but what were you prescribed? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Awesome. So you are now on HRT? You do not need to answer, but what were you prescribed? Yup, it has started. I'm on Spiro for a T blocker and Estradiol. I feel so good, like I have come home... 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Awesome. So you are now on HRT? You do not need to answer, but what were you prescribed? Yup, it has started. I'm on Spiro for a T blocker and Estradiol. I feel so good, like I have come home... "WOOT!" doesn't quite seem sufficient here :) **psst** there's some Spiro and Estradiol inside 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Awesome. So you are now on HRT? You do not need to answer, but what were you prescribed? Yup, it has started. I'm on Spiro for a T blocker and Estradiol. I feel so good, like I have come home... Excellent. :) Not medical advice, but observations from what I have gathered... The Spironolactone should help to significantly reduce the T in your blood. But it is a potassium-sparing diuretic, so you will want to be sure to not consume too much potassium. http://www.rxmed.com/b.main/b2.pharmaceutical/b2.1.monographs/CPS-%20Monographs/CPS-%20(General%20Monographs-%20A)/ALDACTONE.html Spironolactone causes increased amounts of sodium and water to be excreted, while potassium loss is minimized… Manufacturers' Warnings In Clinical States: Potassium (K Supplementation: Do not give potassium supplementation (including dietary potassium) in conjunction with spironolactone therapy. Excessive potassium intake may cause hyperkalemia in patients receiving spironolactone. I assume that the estradiol is in pill form? There are three kinds of human estrogens (and lots of others, for instance, Premarin contains various horse estrogens that act in similar ways to human estrogens). There is Estrone (E1), Estradiol (E2, specifically, 17 beta-estradiol), and Estriol (E3). Estradiol is by far the most important estrogen for feminization. Oral estrogen therapy, although being the most popular method of ingestion, is actually the least efficient method and carries the most risk. The ingested estrogens, prior to entering the bloodstream at large, first go through the portal vein to the liver, where much of it is metabolized into other substances. Estradiol (E2, the strong estrogen) is largely converted to estrone (E1, a much weaker estrogen) in the liver, for instance. This "first pass" through the liver also puts greater stress on the liver than, say, injections, because the injected estrogens have the ability to find and stimulate estrogen receptors prior to entering the liver. Some MtF women opt to use patches or estradiol injections. But, one can increase the blood concentration (and especially the E2:E1 ratio) by taking it sublingually (dissolve it under the tongue). This method is popular. We see the results here: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9052581 OBJECTIVE: To investigate the pharmacokinetic profiles of different doses of micronized 17 beta-estradiol administered by oral or sublingual routes. METHODS: Single doses of micronized 17 beta-estradiol were administered orally (1 mg, 0.5 mg) or sublingually (1 mg, 0.5 mg, 0.25 mg) to six postmenopausal women in a randomized clinical trial. We calculated pharmacokinetic parameters for estradiol (E2) and estrone (E1) of maximum serum concentration, time to maximum serum concentration, terminal half-life, area under the concentration curve, and oral clearance. Serum levels of E1 sulfate also were compared at 4, 12, and 24 hours after dosing. RESULTS: Sublingual administration resulted in rapid absorption with significantly higher E2 levels than did comparable oral dosing. Estrone levels did not vary with route of administration but correlated with the dosage administered. Estrone sulfate levels correlated with the dosage administered and also tended to be higher with sublingual administration. Sublingual administration resulted in a significantly lower E1 to E2 ratio during the 24 hours than did oral administration. CONCLUSION: Sublingual administration of micronized 17 beta-estradiol results in a rapid, burst-like absorption into the systemic circulation, yielding high E2 levels that fall rapidly over the first 6 hours. Anyway, yay! Your body is feminizing and you are becoming the real you. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Thanks Kelly! That was very thoughtfull of you to gather all that info, I do apreciate it. I have upped my water intake but salt is my go to craving already so I don't think I need any more. I wouldn't know how to recognize un uptick in that craving. I have already been doing the sub lingual with the E too as my liver health is important. My doc started me on a lower dose for the first month. I check in with her at the end of April when we will re asses. We're making sure I can swim before heading for open water. And Hadley, thanks for the spiked cake! I won't tell my doc about it though! I have had no ill effects thus far, only positive. Everything just feels so natural. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.