Typical Power Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 I have issues fitting in with other Twomen due to my asexuality... Hence why I'm on here more than a TS forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 On not being able to get a date: While I will admit that it's hard to find a good relationship as a trans girl it hasn't been hard to find people who find me attractive. In fact, there is no need to find them, they find me, and some of them are incredibly disrespectful. Since transitioning I've been sexually assaulted in public, followed by pimps, and absolutely obsessed over by both people who are and aren't aware of my trans status. I don't mean to give you the impression that everyone that hits on me is a creep, because that isn't true, but upon transitioning I've learned what it is to be both objectified as a woman and fetishised as a transsexual. It is still true that being trans can limit your dating pool. I think this is more the case for those who don't pass as well, but it kind of holds true for all of us. Some guys just can't deal with the idea that despite your appearance being with you might make them gay. I met this one really nice guy at a bus stop once who asked me out on a date, and at the time I was pre-op, so I had to make the choice of telling him about myself or shooting him down. I figured he didn't seem like the type to freak out, so I told him, and at first he didn't believe me. He struggled with the concept for a while, but asked me out on a date anyway, all the while insisting he wasn't gay. Then he called me up the next day and canceled, which I understood perfectly, but later that week he called me a second time to make a new date, but being very insistant that he just wanted to be friends, because he like me, but he didn't "swing that way". So we went out to a food festival, and we had a great time, and he kept putting his arm around me and complementing me on my looks before withdrawing and saying to himself "sorry, I keep forgetting. I'm not gay." So yeah, sweet guy, but I had enough issues with my own sexuality already. I didn't need to deal with his too. I also found out he was literally twice my age, which was surprising. I suppose that makes me increasingly lucky to be an aromantic asexual. But anyway. I've often considered myself something of a tom boy because I grew up watching adventure shows and playing war games. My interests as an adult are mostly fantasy/sci-fi, graphic novels, video games, ext. I could care less about celebrity gossip, reality TV or what/who is in this season. But when I self identify as a tom boy people actually laugh at me, because they see me as very girly, regardless of my interests. I don't blame them. There's more to being a tomboy than having a few masculine interests. As I see it, you can't be a tomboy unless you have a masculine personality (think of any masculine woman you know). I knew a little girl who was extremely feminine compared to other girls her age. And yet, her favorite video game was The Legend of Zelda. But a few masculine interests do not a tomboy make. Hmm, I guess that I'm not much of a tomboy then... I don't like sports, I'm not interested in cars, and I really don't like/suck at those war games/shooter games. I play a few video games, but usually only one at a time and not all that much at that. My games include Pokemon and Runescape, so not much of a video gamer here. I don't watch much TV either, and what TV I do watch is mostly soap operas. As for movies, I like fantasy, comedy, romantic comedy, and some action/adventure. Nyeh, not too many "masculine" interests here. And then who was it who introduced me to science fiction and fantasy in the first place but my own mother, who often tells me I'm more feminine than she is. Same here! :) Wow, that must be some sort of trend among us, as it was my mother who introduced me to sci-fi and fantasy as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I have issues fitting in with other Twomen due to my asexuality... Hence why I'm on here more than a TS forum. I find this to be true for myself as well. And besides, this forum is fun and it has . ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 Why is calling something "Girly" always seem to be taken as an insult, even when talking to women? No one thinking "manly" in an insult to anything... because it's "manly"... Is it just remnants of old sexism saying that girls aren't as good as men? Link to post Share on other sites
GirlInside Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Why is calling something "Girly" always seem to be taken as an insult, even when talking to women? No one thinking "manly" in an insult to anything... because it's "manly"... Is it just remnants of old sexism saying that girls aren't as good as men? I think it's because "girl" usually refers to a child and "man" usually refers to an adult. "Womanly" is considered good; "boyish" is considered bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Longshadow Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I think or society values masculinity more highly. Even feminists have a tendency to be (quite ironically) anti feminine. I mean, women fought so hard to get into traditionally male roles, and the implication was essentially that male roles were better. Moving from the masculine to the feminine is seen as a downgrade. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 I just came out to an old friend of mine. I just about died in the process. Very emotionally draining.. ugh... Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 Why is calling something "Girly" always seem to be taken as an insult, even when talking to women? No one thinking "manly" in an insult to anything... because it's "manly"... Is it just remnants of old sexism saying that girls aren't as good as men? I think it's because "girl" usually refers to a child and "man" usually refers to an adult. "Womanly" is considered good; "boyish" is considered bad. The only time I have ever heard the word "Womenly" was in the phrase "The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding" I've NEVER heard it elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I just came out to an old friend of mine. I just about died in the process. Very emotionally draining.. ugh... Wow, pretty brave. I still have to get up the courage to tell my best friend (and from there, my other friends and family). Why is calling something "Girly" always seem to be taken as an insult, even when talking to women? No one thinking "manly" in an insult to anything... because it's "manly"... Is it just remnants of old sexism saying that girls aren't as good as men? I think it's because "girl" usually refers to a child and "man" usually refers to an adult. "Womanly" is considered good; "boyish" is considered bad. The only time I have ever heard the word "Womenly" was in the phrase "The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding" I've NEVER heard it elsewhere. I've heard it only rarely. But I agree with GirlInside on the connotations of the words. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 Wow, pretty brave. I still have to get up the courage to tell my best friend (and from there, my other friends and families Coming out has got to be the worst part of the process.. <_< Link to post Share on other sites
GirlInside Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I think or society values masculinity more highly. Even feminists have a tendency to be (quite ironically) anti feminine. I mean, women fought so hard to get into traditionally male roles, and the implication was essentially that male roles were better. Moving from the masculine to the feminine is seen as a downgrade. Yes, this is why I don't like feminism as much as I used to. Some of them seem to be trying to turn women into men, which is (I think) the wrong direction. Link to post Share on other sites
Icicle-Flower Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I have issues fitting in with other Twomen due to my asexuality... Hence why I'm on here more than a TS forum. ~ I completely agree with this, even as just a lurker here. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Longshadow Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I think or society values masculinity more highly. Even feminists have a tendency to be (quite ironically) anti feminine. I mean, women fought so hard to get into traditionally male roles, and the implication was essentially that male roles were better. Moving from the masculine to the feminine is seen as a downgrade. Yes, this is why I don't like feminism as much as I used to. Some of them seem to be trying to turn women into men, which is (I think) the wrong direction. So you think we should be turning more men into women? Link to post Share on other sites
Teagan KGB Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I think or society values masculinity more highly. Even feminists have a tendency to be (quite ironically) anti feminine. I mean, women fought so hard to get into traditionally male roles, and the implication was essentially that male roles were better. Moving from the masculine to the feminine is seen as a downgrade. Yes, this is why I don't like feminism as much as I used to. Some of them seem to be trying to turn women into men, which is (I think) the wrong direction. So you think we should be turning more men into women? *imagines having a ray gun that changes people's sex and/or gender* Heheheheh.... Link to post Share on other sites
sips Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I think or society values masculinity more highly. Even feminists have a tendency to be (quite ironically) anti feminine. I mean, women fought so hard to get into traditionally male roles, and the implication was essentially that male roles were better. Moving from the masculine to the feminine is seen as a downgrade. absolutely agree. it's sad though... Link to post Share on other sites
GirlInside Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I think or society values masculinity more highly. Even feminists have a tendency to be (quite ironically) anti feminine. I mean, women fought so hard to get into traditionally male roles, and the implication was essentially that male roles were better. Moving from the masculine to the feminine is seen as a downgrade. Yes, this is why I don't like feminism as much as I used to. Some of them seem to be trying to turn women into men, which is (I think) the wrong direction. So you think we should be turning more men into women? I would like to see men become more like women. I don't really like men much; the few male friends I have had were more feminine. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I think or society values masculinity more highly. Even feminists have a tendency to be (quite ironically) anti feminine. I mean, women fought so hard to get into traditionally male roles, and the implication was essentially that male roles were better. Moving from the masculine to the feminine is seen as a downgrade. Yes, this is why I don't like feminism as much as I used to. Some of them seem to be trying to turn women into men, which is (I think) the wrong direction. So you think we should be turning more men into women? I would like to see men become more like women. I don't really like men much; the few male friends I have had were more feminine. Same here. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted July 24, 2010 Author Share Posted July 24, 2010 I just hate competition. <_< Link to post Share on other sites
Guest member25959 Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 [edit] Link to post Share on other sites
GirlInside Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 One thing I have always wanted to know, at what age does the dreaded body hair start to emerge? It was a gradual thing for me, but I noticed it when I was 16, going on 17. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest member25959 Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 [edit] Link to post Share on other sites
Teagan KGB Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 I've heard that it also depends on he person. I know a male who started puberty when he was about nine, so he started having body hair early as well. I'm biologically female but I've always been fuzzy, it just got thicker when I went through that time. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 One thing I have always wanted to know, at what age does the dreaded body hair start to emerge? It was a gradual thing for me, but I noticed it when I was 16, going on 17. Luckily I have no body hair, at 17, buts thats what is worrying me, it could be just around the corner. I have more than I appreciate... ugh... Curse being 17... It's such an unfortunate age. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Longshadow Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 It's different for everyone. I had quite a bit of leg hair by my mid teens, but only started to notice the beginnings of arm and torso hair as I entered my 20s. Thankfully hormones made pretty short work of any man hair (save for the bit I had on my face) and I still shave my legs, but the hairs are like those of a woman, not the thick woolly stuff that used to cover them. Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 I haven't the slightest clue who else on here is a Tgirl. I am a "T-Girl". I'm not a big fan of that term. Not that's bad of anything...just..doesn't sit right or something. I consider myself a Transperson. Or a girl. Because I'm lonely feeling like the only T-Girl here sometimes. :evil: I kind of know how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
rosegirl Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Some interesting comments, so I thought I would add mine :) I think there are two main reasons for so few transwomen on AVEN. Firstly there are a large number of TG forums that are almost the complete preserve of M-F people. There is a range of support there. Being TG is probably viewed as a need that needs more support then being asexual. Secondly, many who transition, as has been stated, turn their backs on the TG community deciding that it is safer to go "stealth". Mixing with other transexuals might "give them away". I must admit that it's something I have been thinking about a lot, as I am coming to the end of my personal transitioning. I am not a big supporter of the TG community, but I do help on the fringes. I hope I have the time and desire to continue, so I can hopefully help others, as I have been helped. The temptation to see myself as "cured" and just get on with my life is very tempting, however. All my love, Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 One thing I have always wanted to know, at what age does the dreaded body hair start to emerge? It was a gradual thing for me, but I noticed it when I was 16, going on 17. Luckily I have no body hair, at 17, buts thats what is worrying me, it could be just around the corner. I have more than I appreciate... ugh... Curse being 17... It's such an unfortunate age. Yes, I have quite a bit myself. Curse those hairy genes from my dad. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Yes, I have quite a bit myself. Curse those hairy genes from my dad. One thing that can help reduce body hair (hirsutism) is finasteride. It is a common prescription and fairly inexpensive. For scientific studies, see: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12724020 http://www.theannals.com/cgi/content/abstract/aph.1D461v1 Body and facial hair is changed from vellus (the thin, peach-fuzz kind) to terminal (thick and dark) by DHT. DHT is made from T via the 5-alpha reductase enzyme. Finasteride prevents one type of T -> DHT conversion, and reduces the DHT levels in the blood. More expensive but more powerful is dutasteride, which blocks both types of T -> DHT conversions, and reduces DHT levels to trace quantities. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 I haven't the slightest clue who else on here is a Tgirl. I am a "T-Girl". I'm not a big fan of that term. Not that's bad of anything...just..doesn't sit right or something. I consider myself a Transperson. Or a girl. I just chose that phrase as I hate the term Transwoman. Just woman in general bothers me at an aesthetic level. But it's really just semantics. Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Yeah I'm not a fan of woman, but transwoman is ok. Not that I really identify with that much either. It's weird... I don't really connect or identify with any of the trans-names, T-Girl, Transgirl, transwoman etc... Link to post Share on other sites
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