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hiddentears

Fellow Sexuals

Recommended Posts

hiddentears

Ok, So I know I'm not the only Sexual here on AVEN. What I'm wondering is how many of us are there and what are your reasons for being on AVEN.

Personally I'm here because my best friend recently came out as asexual so I'm trying to learn more about where she is coming from. Also I haven't been here very long but I'v already made some pretty awesome friends and I can't wait to meet even more.

So I'd love to hear your story if you're willing to share.

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Shinnok

I'm Sexual. My SO is Asexual. The reason I stay on this forum is because this forum has become a place for me to go to when I feel like I have no where else to go. I have friends here

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PsychedX

Another sexual here.

My story is relatively simple: my friend is asexual, and she has piqued my interest in learning more about this (and other gender studies).

My other reason is to eat cake.

On another note, is it so strange that ever since I've been visiting these forums that I've actually become less interested in sex? Is this some sort of phenomenon?

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kiramekuchan

Sexual and proud of it! though I have to say I have odd interests in general and AVEN just has to be one of them now.

Got hooked cause an Asexual friend and a sexual friend who's friends with more asexuals. What can I say? I have weird yet awesome friends and I happen to love it here.

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kiramekuchan

Another sexual here.

My story is relatively simple: my friend is asexual, and she has piqued my interest in learning more about this (and other gender studies).

My other reason is to eat cake.

On another note, is it so strange that ever since I've been visiting these forums that I've actually become less interested in sex? Is this some sort of phenomenon?

Although I do have to admit the more I'm on here the less desperate I am for sex. Do you think that counts?

And the cake is just another perk of being here.

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***

I don't want to derail the conversation, but do have a question for some a sexual or some sexuals at some point. I wondered how I'd go about finding the sexuals on AVEN, but this thread seems like a pretty good place! Let me know if anyone's free for a chat. Thanks!

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kiramekuchan

I don't want to derail the conversation, but do have a question for some a sexual or some sexuals at some point. I wondered how I'd go about finding the sexuals on AVEN, but this thread seems like a pretty good place! Let me know if anyone's free for a chat. Thanks!

I'm more than happy to answer things from a sexual point of veiw. Anytime you want to ask feel free. You can send me a direct message too if you'd like. I'm on alot anyways.

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PsychedX

Although I do have to admit the more I'm on here the less desperate I am for sex. Do you think that counts?

Perhaps we're onto something. Honorary asexual? Asexy by proxy?

I don't want to derail the conversation, but do have a question for some a sexual or some sexuals at some point. I wondered how I'd go about finding the sexuals on AVEN, but this thread seems like a pretty good place! Let me know if anyone's free for a chat. Thanks!

I'd be happy to chat with you. Feel free to send a PM or IM me over whatever I have listed in my profile.

...And I hope I'm not derailing the conversation either.

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kiramekuchan

Although I do have to admit the more I'm on here the less desperate I am for sex. Do you think that counts?

Perhaps we're onto something. Honorary asexual? Asexy by proxy?

Honorary asexual? that's epic.

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Hallucigenia

Another sexual. I showed up here years and years ago when a sibling of mine came out as asexual. I wanted to learn more about it and about what he was up to. I'm interested in sexual diversity and I made some friends here, so I stuck around.

I did not become less sexual after finding AVEN. In fact, after years of hanging around and learning about diversity (and some other, unrelated events), I became a lot more relaxed about the whole thing, more comfortable with being sexual, and more in tune with my own desires. But everyone's different!

There's a whole thread somewhere around here for asexuals who want to ask sexuals questions (oh, yeah, here it is: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?showtopic=13175 ) but you can add me to the list of folks who will answer such questions if you like.

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Pamcakes

I was with a possibly Asexual guy for five and a half years.

I came here as a last-ditch desperate attempt to get on the same level, but he didn't want to hear about it.

I stuck around because I realised that it was an issue I really cared about.

P.

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sonofzeal

Demi, here, but for a long part of my membership "demisexual" wasn't a term that got used, so I mostly just identified as "sexual". Still, I think I have more in common with aces than with the general public, and I love AVEN and the community around it. A lot of my best friends were made through this site. And, I think I've become less and less sexual than I was, over time.

I came to learn, I stayed for the community, and I keep finding more and more aceness in myself as I go.

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annonnymous13

Sexual, here, but yet another one who's really not that interested in sex.

I came here because a friend of mine is asexual; I also happen to have fallen in love with her. Not sure which came first, AVEN or falling for her.

Anyway, I'm on here sporadically, mostly because I'm on the internet sporadically, and because of classes and such.

And I come here to lurk and comment and (like most) eat cake a lot more often when I'm feeling down about the whole issue with my friend.

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CreepyCrawler

Sexual aromantic here. I came seeking answers for why relationships are such an issue to me, and because I have a strong aversion to sex that I mistook for asexuality. I stay because I'm still continuing to understand myself, and because I enjoy this supportive community. And the whole aromantic thing.

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The Wolf

Sexual, but not really interested in sex. I originally came here thinking I was asexual about 2 years ago, but then realised I wasn't after I'd gained a better understanding of what asexuality actually was. I stayed because I don't understand sex, and it's nice to have a place where sex isn't just assumed as something everyone has, or everyone wants. There's also the gender forum.

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CBC

edited.

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Beenthere

I came here because I was in a largely sexless marriage for years. I couldn't understand it and even now still mull it over - years after the divorce. I do not know if my former spouse is actually asexual or if the problem was lack of attraction to ME. I do know that having moved on and had other relationships and now being in a serious one, it doesn't matter which of those things was the cause. I need to be in a relationship where it's a non-issue. I spent so much time and energy in my marriage discussion sex...I just want it to be taken for granted. The answer for me is to be with someone with the same level of drive and the same need for it to be taken for granted. Having read here so many stories from both sexuals and asexuals, I think that may be a common ground - we'd all like it to be a non-issue, not to feel self-conscious about our particular relationship (or lack thereof) to sex.

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Nick_

I landed here via a search engine for something else and

stayed, lurking for the most part, because of the interesting

posts.

Since this isn't a dating site per sayit's makes me feel

more relaxed here than different forums.

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swamped

I'm sexual. I joined this site a while ago thinking I was asexual, but I realized I wasn't and that I simply don't care for sex that much.

But yeah, I AM sexual.

I stayed because I do have a lot in common with the asexuals here. I'm not your typical sexual person, if you know what I mean.

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Scott18

I joined to learn. I'm in a serious relationship with an asexual so would like to learn more about her.

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alwaysloveher

I'm a sexual, I'm here because my fiance is asexual(something I knew before we were together) and I want to do everything I can to understand her better. I also like to help asexuals understand how sexuals think, more specifically how myself as a demisexual thinks.

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A stranger

My girlfriend is asexual. It's frustrating. It kinda helps that, unlike most people, I don't see sex as a centre of life.

Did I mention it's frustrating?

:)

Not really a problem that we don't have actual sex (as in penetration) but more that there's entire package that comes with asexuality. Don't touch me here, don't touch me there, don't watch, don't this don't that. My god just relax. We're in bed not in the coffin.

But from asexual point of view I'm probably annoying, too-demanding and what not.

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Waterbottle20

I came here because I'm romantically hetero but sexually homo. cant be romantic with guys but cant have sex with girls, I felt screwed in terms of having a sexual relationship so I came here to find out the different kinds of relationships people can have that aren't a standard sexual relationship, and to see if they're successful.

So far I've seen a mixed bag.

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< retired >
My god just relax. We're in bed not in the coffin.

I guess you have not yet learned about the asexual tendency to climb out of the communal coffin around midnight and go stalking the foggy streets hunting for fresh blood... :)

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BlackRose

Hi, I'm here cause everyone here is just so smart and awesome! Seriously, I love the humor and general level of conversation here. I find it incredibly interesting to talk about sex and relationships and the different ways people see them, as well. And I love seeing different people's viewpoints, especially when they see things in ways I would never have thought of.

I'm also a little autistic, kinda introverted, overly literal, and analytical, and I notice many other people here seem to be as well.

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Goonie

I came here originally because I fit in. The more I grew, the more I understood myself for me and not for others, the more I realized I'm a sexual creature. I stayed because I found friends and I like the discussions. I left due to life. I'm back because I have friends here and missed some of the discussions. I still feel like I fit in to a certain degree.

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BrightColours

i am here because my wife (nezumi) is an ace

i am here to support her and possibly try and get some help for me to cope with the very little sex if any part of the relationship

i was a very sexual person before her but i am happy with her and would never leave her over something as silly as sex

and again thats why i am here XD

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dmm

I am veeeerrrrry new here, but not new to "going without". My partner & I have been together 11 yrs- I do not know how we have done it. Just found this site after reading a blog on The Bilerico Project written by an asexual. Rang a familiar bell, so I searched the subject.

I have to admit, I am angry, sad, lonely, & think I am too young to give up a vital part of myself. I have spent yrs telling mysef it would get better, but it hasn't, but maybe because it can't. She can't who she is (nor should she) any more than can I.

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Tapestry

I am a sexual female. I have been married to my asexual husband for over 16 years and have three kids (thank goodness for adoption! lol). He was interested in sex before we got married, but it turned off like a switch during the honeymoon and has been that way ever since. He has no explanation for why this happened. I find I sometimes feel so resentful and deceived. It's so hard to deal with. I used to always think my husband just wasn't into me or that I was unattractive, but a few years ago I started looking for a "cause", so to speak. Eventually found this site, pretty much when I was at the point I felt like I couldn't take it anymore and might jump on some random strange man walking down the street. Then I started getting depressed again and had to stop thinking about it and had to take a break from reading online and Aven, and now I've started thinking about it again and decided to reconnect with Aven. It's really helpful for me to talk with people in the same situation. I had talked to my husband a lot after finding Aven, and he agreed that he is asexual (had never heard of it before). I'm so conflicted...feel like I can't keep living like this but don't want to put my kids through a divorce, so I live in limbo. Unfortunately on top of no sex we have absolutely no intimacy or affection of any kind. My husband pretty much doesn't talk to me. I'm thankful he's a good father. I'm 38 and my kids are 3, 6, and almost-8. I've been trying to throw myself into activities and am planning to go back to college in the next year or so for a career change, but still, there is such emptiness in my life that I don't think will ever be filled. Happy to be back here and hope to learn and share with you all. :)

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Neoclassic

I'm here because while I've always assumed I was sexual, I don't think I've actually come across any asexual/sexual/gray-A/demisexual term that I think really fits me (though I lean towards the sexual side). This is unusual for me, since I tend to usually like labels and sticking them on myself like a child with sparkly stickers. So I guess I'm here to learn more and see where, if anywhere, I belong.

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