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Homophobia?


Amanda

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I was just reading the article entitled "What is my sexual prefernce?" by Gabrialla and there is a part where Gabrialla asks about Homosexual preference, and responds "sorry porn seekers". hmm this assumption that homosexual preference has to do with porn really gets me the wrong way. I also have seen other stuff making asexuals seem as heterosexist as the next guy. As a queer, flaming asexual, this is somewhat nerving. Anyone else feel this way? see the article i am refering to under discussion...

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clicking on 'discussion' takes me back to the forum index...does anyone have a link for the article?

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THis happens a lot...I got a website taken down once because it said I had 'adult content'...I had links to ALL AGES gay-friendly sites, but they said that ANYTHING homosexual was considered 'adult content' *sighs* Amanda, I feel your pain :)

So I guess anything with 'sexual' in the title is porn? Like HETEROsexuality and Asexuality?

All those pictures floating across the page make it hard to read, BTW.

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OK, I want to add that I have been looking for what set me off to say what I did about heterosexism, as I remeber reading something on this site about asexuals thinking they are heterosexuals, which I dont think is a true statement, as we are different people and have different experiences. Unfortunately I cant find the statement I thought was heterosexist. Just wanted to let you know before I get asked to back up the heterosexism comment I made...

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Let me know if you find anything that comes across as heterosexist, I wrote most of this site a while ago and there could be something in there. The reference to asexuals thinking they were heterosexual was more a heteronormativity thing. Because asexuality isn't visible many asexuals think that they are "broken" versions of the heterosexual social norm.

As for gabby's site I agree (I'm going to take down the expressions area sometime soon anyway.) However I think that it was a reference to lesbians in straight porn and not an assumption that gay people would be more likely to seek porn out (debates on what is/isn't wrong with porn can wait..)

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I'm told there are a lot of asexuals in the queer and bi communities.

Personally I'm a queer indentifying asexual. I think asexuality of my variety -- forming non-conventional close relationships and bonds with people taking no account of their gender -- has much more in common with queer/bi/poly than with heterosexuality.

I always feel like I'm making things up as I go along and the culture gives me no words to adequately express the sort of ties, bonds and connections I make with people.

I too noticed that many of the articles linked to by AVEN were people (actually mostly women saying this one) saying "no I'm not gay". I think it was probably a reaction to the sort of "No I'm not into animals either" check list you sometimes have to go through when you tell people. But yeah there was a feeling of heterosexuality as the baseline. And I seem to remember at least one who said they liked men and only men (ie heterosexual pairings) but they just weren't sexual about it.

Of course I think that's completely valid and their genuine experience and that this site should link to them. I also think we should have as many "I'm completely queer asexual making it up as I go along", "I ID as gay and asexual" and "I'm asexual, I don't form relationships with people" voices out there too.

I think it's unbalanced at the moment because that's about all anyone's written about on personal homepages and asexual/celebacy sites. The way to rebalance it is to write a long piece about your experience of asexuality and put that on your website (or perhaps in a special personal stories section of the AVEN site, webmaster permitting). If we all write our stories then the site and the links will start to represent the diversity of asexual experience and the 'heterosexual asexuals' will just be another (valid) voice in the crowd.

::makes note to self to add writing that to list of articles to do::

Nat.

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Yeah, I've written different forms of "My Asexual Story", though since its still so much in progress I haven't made it a concrete section of the site. My idea right now is to have the welcome area serve as that kind of storyboard, as soon as I get off my ass I'm going to work to integrate the site much better with this forum. Since the active noun is, after all, "Network" it seems like this community should be the centerpiece of the site.

As for the links, I put up whatever I could find, and though I personally identify as a queer asexual I don't want to make this site ONLY about that form of asexual identity (if I do push it a little.)

I think I'll have to go re-examine the asexual-heterosexual thing. The point that I was trying to make is that most asexuals are "buried" within different factions of the sexual community. Many are in the staight community, though there is certainly a notable chunk in the queer community. The important thing to realize is that I'm talking about people who DON'T YET IDENTIFY AS ASEXUAL, those who don't expderience sexual attraction but don't yet have a word or an identity for it.

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Found on google:

http://www.advocate.com/html/stories/867/867_warhol.asp

An article on an exhibit which recast Warhol as asexual rather than gay.

and the scripting of Warhol as an asexual (read: heterosexual) art historical figure disappoint me.

Is this the Advocate saying not gay must equal straight? Or was there some explicit part of the exhibition which made this connection?

I watched a documentary last night on how Virginia Woolfe was primarily asexual and only had relations with people she found intellectually and emotionally stimulating. I wonder if the Advocate would object to that too. (She certainly wasn't 'straight', she'd be a queer icon regardless of her actual sexuality).

Nat.

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