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Dealing with sexual people


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Guest Anonymous

This especially applies to those who have previously identified as sexual...

Does anyone find that they have trouble with friends and/or ex's in telling them you're asexual? Apart from one friend who says he's amazed I didn't figure it out five years ago and has been quite supportive, most of my friends either humour me or simply refuse to believe me. At least one has told me he doesn't think anyone is truly asexual. I've even been told I just "haven't met the right guy yet" - which I know to be untrue.

has anyone else had to deal with this, and if so, how did you cope with it?

:arrow: orderinchaos :arrow:

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yeah, I've had one person who really believes me, the rest just sort of ignore it or have a slight curiosity.

one of my friends though insists that I am bisexual and that I'll get over it

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Seems to be I know multiple people who would rather think of as bisexual or homosexual instead of there even being a possibility of asexuality. An old freind since childhood whom I'm becoming friends with again nearly weekly goes "you're gay" / "are you a lesbian"? and I just stare because I refuse to give her the satisfaction of being the asexual head on her wall of deer heads (she seems to collect people of different orientations and fetishes so I really don't feel like being a subject of her yapping to somone else when she goes yapping about her gay friend and her bi freiend and her cross dressing roomate and her asexual friend. Blah.

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Best way of all to deal with 'em? (grins) Well, don't tell 'em you're asexual at all. Why bother? Chances are, they ain't gonna believe ya. PAH!! And even more likely, they'll try to deny your damned reality!! DOUBLE PAH!!!

Most fun thing to do is turn the tables on 'em!! :wink: If they act like your disinterest in sex is wierd, then act like their INTEREST in sex is wierd!! If they humor you, humor 'em right back!!

'Cuz hell, when you think about it, wanting to have sex with no intention of getting yourself or somebody else pregnant is just as bloody unnatural as not being interested in sex!! HA HA HA!!! :lol:

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Yes, humour them! Good idea, Oogie.

And you could also try picking an activity they aren't interested in

"What, you've never wanted to go bungee jumping??

Have you seen a doctor about it?

Did you fall from a height as a child and it put you off?

You must want to really

EVERYBODY wants to go bungee jumping

You'll change your mind when you see the right bridge...."

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VivreEstEsperer

You'll change your mind when you see the right bridge! LOL! I love that!!

Most of the people I've told have been accepting and happy for me. A few of them were like, human beings are sexual beings blah blah but I just let them run their mouths...I know we exist. I don't have to prove it to them if they're insistent on just being stubborn asses.

Kate

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Yes, humour them! Good idea, Oogie.

And you could also try picking an activity they aren't interested in

"What, you've never wanted to go bungee jumping??

Have you seen a doctor about it?

Did you fall from a height as a child and it put you off?

You must want to really

EVERYBODY wants to go bungee jumping

You'll change your mind when you see the right bridge...."

YAAAAAY!!!! YAAAAAAY!!! (laughs her freakin' head off) Dammit, I'm gonna rememeber that for SURE!!!! :lol: I agree, "You'll change your mind when you see the right bridge" is the BEST OF ALL!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!! (jumps up and down and laughs maniacally)

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"You'll change your mind when you see the right bridge...."

Well, you made me grin, and after the night at work I had, that wasn't too simple a task. ;)

On the original subject of the post, there aren't many I've really told. Most of the women I work with on a regular basis know that I'm not interested in getting married and having children, although they probably just assume I'm young and will come around later. ;)

Erm... the only other person I've told recently was a guy in the High Street who accosted me and tried to get me interested in Dianetics. I spent the next fifteen minutes mucking around with his mind as he tried to find some angle to pitch it to me at. >8) I don't know whether he believed me or not. *eg*

~Coral

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orderinchaos

Thanks for all the replies :) coralleane, I think we've all developed fun and interesting ways to piss off door-to-door religion people and dianetics people ... the favourite I've heard was a straight-as friend of mine (male) cracking onto a poor unfortunate soul (also male, and only about 16 or 17) who practically sprinted down his driveway...

As for the main issue, I guess part of the problem is that I came out as gay, I had bfs, friends knew these bfs etc... the fact that I found sex something to endure rather than enjoy and avoided it where possible was something they just couldn't deal with.

I'm beginning to think at least some of it is jealousy though :P

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coralleane, I think we've all developed fun and interesting ways to piss off door-to-door religion people and dianetics people ...

One of the more amusing encounters I've heard of was one of my friends who is at university; she's living in a rented house with three other people. She was the only person home when the doorbell rang, so she went and answered it.

"Hello, little girl," said the lady outside. "Is your mummy in?"

My friend may be small, but she *is* nearly 20 and definitely doesn't look that young!!

~Coral

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  • 2 weeks later...
BluEarth666

My personal favorite was when I told my best friend, and she said "as long as you've found peace with yourself"!!! :roll: Yikes! I'm not joining a cult, sick, or dieing, it's irrational how she pities me. She doesn’t seem to understand that sex is not life.

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VivreEstEsperer

I like your avatar bluearth..

yeah...well...I came out as lesbian at the beginning of the school year... and then I came out as asexual to the gay straight alliance here, bglad... and most were very supportive which was great...(i kept meaning to post about that too, i really did..no time though) .... but one girl was like, 'you already said you were lesbian, you cant come out twice', ha, which I think is one of the most RIDICULOUS things ive ever heard....and everyone else seemed to think so too...so thats what happened with me.

bluearth - it seems to me that if she said to you that she only wanted you to be happy, that if you were happy she was happy - that that would be a good thing. but maybe im misunderstanding what the person said to you?

Kate

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  • 3 months later...

Based on an earlier post, I have formulated my very own rant for the sexuals!

By any chance, do you want to eat a human heart?

What? Everyone wants to eat a human heart!

You just haven't found the right victim yet!

Have you seen a doctor about it?

Eating a human heart is part of life!

etc. etc....

I have some for door-to-door religious people, too.

*they rant some*

*I have friend yell soemthing unintelligible from inside my house*

Me: Just a minute. *turns around* YES THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE DOES END WITH 'HAIL SATAN'! DAMN, YOU'RE STUPID!*looks back at person* You were saying?

Person: Hello, we'd like to invite you to-

Me, with as straight a face as possible: I am a witch.

Person: *rant, rant, religious quote*

Me: Ahh, yes, I see your point. Please, come inside and sacrifice babies to Satan with me.

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The people who want you to identify as one thing, only and forever, always got on my nerves. But then most people can't function without neat little boxes into which they can stuff all the people they've come across.

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This especially applies to those who have previously identified as sexual...

Does anyone find that they have trouble with friends and/or ex's in telling them you're asexual?

No, because I've never told them. I've told about four people in the last few years, and no one before that. From that admittedly small sample of reactions, I've found it's much less trouble to just pass as whatever the dominate sexuality is in the area than to try and explain why I've never had sex and don't particularly want to.

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