My girlfriend wants to have sex with other people.

[PiF]

if she says i can still be with you but "fuck others"

i think you know the answer if she is the one for you...or not

but thats just me

[Jockey]

I think it sounds like she wants to be with you long term, and knows that she can't go without sex long term. If you like her in other ways, I say say yes. I would.

[Cirvante]

Insensitivity is such a lovely trait in people. ^^

[sunny_girl]

I can say that I've been through the same- though my last partner wasn't quite so blunt about it. She was accepting of asexuality and we'd been together off and on for about two years but the subject of her finding another lover outside of our relationship did come up. Still, no matter how often she assured me she would still like me more, the idea of her sleeping with someone else was just too much and I feel the whole thing ruined our relationship.

I suppose it didn't help matters that I'm not a ridiculously affectionate person anyway, but all of her friends are touchy feely and she would often kiss and make out with them and just say that it was "what friends did".

Someone you consider a partner doing something like that is hard- sometimes arrangements like that work, but I don't think you can compromise on an issue like that.

[SInkShips]

It all depends on you and the way you feel about things.

The one and only boyfriend I ever had cheated on me because of my "lack of affection" as he called it, and my one and only girlfriend (we never actually did anything because we became a couple after bootcamp and never were able to visit each other before we broke up) felt like I didn't show enough affection either and was very non-understanding about my lack of sexual desires. Needless to say,both relationships end terribly.

Regardless of my outward demeanor I feel I am/was being as affectionate as I am comfortable with and sometimes even more so for their sake, but I know that I personally would never be ok with my partner finding an outside partner to have sexual relations with. I just don't share and I know that personally it would be devastating for me and it would hurt and most likely depress me, but that's me. As other people have said it's all about what you want. Just don't end up doing things for someone else. Think about yourself.

[summersomeone]

I wouldn't automatically write her off. For some sexuals, sex is an immensely important part of life.

And it must have been hard to hear that someone she is attracted to has no desire to sleep with her. Sometimes it is hard not to take it personally, no matter how little it has to do with the person. Maybe she seemed like she felt "unfortunate" because it really hurt to hear.

However, one month? That seems like a super short time to me. For me, and I am highly sexual, I don't even believe in sex without love. It sounds like to her it is just a given in any relationship. Which would make it unbelievably difficult for her to understand where you are coming from. I'd say keep talking. But if she wants things you simply don't feel good about, move on.

[bluebanana2014]

Since I've finally begun accepting myself as asexual, I've also finally been able to explain it to my girlfriend. We've been together a month and I've been avoiding sex any way I can so I felt that she should know exactly why. The first thing she said was, "so can I sleep with other people?" No kind and supportive words, nothing. She made it seem like she was "unfortunate" to get tied up with someone like me.

So my question is...have any of you experienced this?

What do you all think about her wanting to sleep with other people?

Should I get out of this relationship?

Any insight, experience, advice you can offer would be much appreciated.

u should leave her ass! this is exactly one of the reasons why I broke with first and only girlfriend, cause she wanted to have sex. I've always been Asexual but my girlfriend was heterosexual and we dated cause we were friends and at first she said she would be cool without having sex, but things eventually changed(also cause she started using drugs), I won't get into the story any further but if I were u, I'd dump her ass, it's not fair. if she's gonna be in a relationship with you and respect you, then, no she can't go n' see other people. if she can't commit, then she better go. just my honest opinion.

[mindlife]

As I've said before, if you find the relationship untenable, you must leave it.

[Ninny]

Too be honest, seeing as you've only been together a month I'd cut my losses and leave it. If you had been together for a good while then i'd suggest talking things though and seeing if you can agree on a compromise or something, but seeing as she's already got her mind made up and you've not been together long i'd leave it before becoming too emotionally involved. Also i've noticed that when Ases come out to sexual people who are interested in them the sexual tends to say they can cope with it and will be willing to make it work (if they follow through with that is another matter), your girlfriend however is expressing a desire to sleep with others from the get go without any suggestion of 'making it work'.

She sounds like a waste of time.

[Leonine]

I come down on the "Leave it now" side too. Before you get in any deeper, while it's still so new and hasn't taken over your life.

This is a massive problem showing already, and it will only get much, much, much worse as time goes by.

Leonine

[PiF]

she's been with you 4 weeks and wants to fuck other people already?

seriuosly is this the woman you want to set as a standard for yourself for love?

take your pride..value yourself more than that..your worth more