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LGBT and asexuality


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Dear Avenites, perhaps this discussion would be more productive if we referred to real-life actions rather than abstract definitions and concepts.

The other day, the director of the local LGBT center asked me to send her links to some internet asexuality resources so she could put them on their website. I sent her links to AVEN and Asexual Explorations.

Right, wrong, or don't care?

I would find it sad if many asexuals would rather remain in obscurity than be associated with LGBTQI.

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my problem with is cold is just that...perception

be honest if you have told someone what did they first say...does that mean your gay then?..will be the most common reply

truth be told most asexuals are not gay...however by association as a "group" that will be as we are seen..once you align yourself as a group it is incredibly difficult to correct a wrong association

I'm all in favour of projecting asexuality..however project it accurately.

and if someone feels they want to project it ..why hide it?

How we do or don't group ourselves is NOT going to change people's ignorance. The only thing that will is education.

When I tell people I am deaf I get people asking me how I can speak, asking me how I can think, how I can like music...etc. People will be people no matter what we do. We should just try to focus on educating others and gaining visibility, and if that means jumping on the LGBTQ boat, then so be it.

Nika

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TheLocalDinosaur

The Pride Club at my university uses the acronym LGBTQIA which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual/Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, and Allied. I was immensely disappointed when I found out that the "A" didn't stand for Asexual. :( If asexuals fit into any of those categories, it's probably "Queer," since it's a catch-all term for anything that deviates from the "norm."

However, I should say this: I personally don't think that asexuals belong in the LGBT group any more than they belong in any heterosexual group. Asexuals are outside the sphere of sexuality; just the word prefix means "the absence of." I tried going to Pride Club a few times, hopeful that there would be a place for me, but homosexuals and bisexuals, etc. (in general) don't understand asexuality any more than heterosexuals do. They ended up talking about sex and issues with sex, because honestly, just because someone's homosexual doesn't mean they have any less of a sex drive. I understand the desire to fit in. I would love to start an asexual club on campus. The problem is, I just don't think there would be enough people interested, since I go to a small school and asexuality doesn't seem as common as homosexuality. But I believe the solution is something like AVEN. Something exclusively for asexuals. Would you join an LGBT forum site any sooner than you would join a straight dating site?

Anyway, don't go looking for a place to fit in. I tried it once, hopeful that I could be accepted into the LGBT community because I am part of an "alternate" orientation, but just because they've been discriminated against doesn't mean they'll understand where you're coming from any more than heterosexuals will.

Hope this helps. ^_^ :cake:

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The other day, the director of the local LGBT center asked me to send her links to some internet asexuality resources so she could put them on their website. I sent her links to AVEN and Asexual Explorations.
I'd say good because there are probably a host of people under the LGBTQ umbrella who might unknowingly identify as ace, same as in the "heteronormative" community, so in THAT sense, any positive publicity is good.

H xx

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Dear Avenites, perhaps this discussion would be more productive if we referred to real-life actions rather than abstract definitions and concepts.

The other day, the director of the local LGBT center asked me to send her links to some internet asexuality resources so she could put them on their website. I sent her links to AVEN and Asexual Explorations.

Right, wrong, or don't care?

I would find it sad if many asexuals would rather remain in obscurity than be associated with LGBTQI.

Real life...about bloody time..too many think because the world should be pink it is and are so busy patting themselves on thier back they forget others are trying to stab it

real world..if asexuality comes under the lgbt umbrella the ignorant of asexuality...i.e. most sexuals ...will assume all asexuals are gay..real world..most won't challenge that as they can't even tell thier own familly..real world

I have and will continue to stand by..individual asexuals have the independent right to be or not be part of the lgbt..real world

I also stand by that... an association as a group with the lgbt will do more harm than good..because we will be wrongly labelled..not only by our homo/straight belongings but also to a sexual organisation..which we are not.. we are non sexual..real world

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How we do or don't group ourselves is NOT going to change people's ignorance. The only thing that will is education.

When I tell people I am deaf I get people asking me how I can speak, asking me how I can think, how I can like music...etc. People will be people no matter what we do. We should just try to focus on educating others and gaining visibility, and if that means jumping on the LGBTQ boat, then so be it.

Nika

Have you been deaf all your life or do you remember what things sound like? I only ask, because I'm curious what it is like when people who have always been deaf think. Most hearing people, so far as I know, have a kind of internal 'voice' of whatever language they're used to speaking, but if you've never heard words spoken, or don't remember it, I wonder how that translates over.

Completely off topic, but it's something I've wondered about for ages lol.

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I think LGBT is for anyone not monogamous, heterosexual and cisgendered. I think that's completely cogent.

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How we do or don't group ourselves is NOT going to change people's ignorance. The only thing that will is education.

When I tell people I am deaf I get people asking me how I can speak, asking me how I can think, how I can like music...etc. People will be people no matter what we do. We should just try to focus on educating others and gaining visibility, and if that means jumping on the LGBTQ boat, then so be it.

Nika

Have you been deaf all your life or do you remember what things sound like? I only ask, because I'm curious what it is like when people who have always been deaf think. Most hearing people, so far as I know, have a kind of internal 'voice' of whatever language they're used to speaking, but if you've never heard words spoken, or don't remember it, I wonder how that translates over.

Completely off topic, but it's something I've wondered about for ages lol.

I've only been deaf for 9 months now. I have an internal voice, but I also think in sign language cause I've known American Sign Language for 3 years now. The people I've talked to who were either born deaf or went deaf early often tell me they think in sign language, printed word, independent of language (e.g. in images), or a combination thereof.

Anyway I was trying to make a point that people will be ignorant no matter how we frame asexuality. We should be more concerned with how we educate people than who we happened to be grouped with. People use their own system of categorizations that often override any sort of system of categorization we may try to make for ourselves. Just as many Deaf people emphasize all day that they're a sociolinguistic community not a physically disabled one, the mainstream still can't stop viewing them as physically disabled. Likewise, even if we spend all day saying "we're asexual, not gay or trans" etc., the mainstream will choose to view us however they do.

Nika

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I've only been deaf for 9 months now. I have an internal voice, but I also think in sign language cause I've known American Sign Language for 3 years now. The people I've talked to who were either born deaf or went deaf early often tell me they think in sign language, printed word, independent of language (e.g. in images), or a combination thereof.

That's absolutely fascinating, to me! I think I understand what you mean: I work as an EMT, and sometimes while I'm taking a patient's pulse, a family member will ask me a question. I found out that I can talk to them without loosing count if I "count" by visualizing the numbers in my head with each beat. That way, my verbal reasoning center can carry on a conversation while my visual-spatial reasoning keeps counting. It's even easier if, instead of visualizing numbers, you envision some graphic representation of that number, like the dots on a set of dice. I.E., visualize one dot, then two arranged diagonally, then three, than one in four corners, etc.

Now, when I'm using that technique, I find that I'm less aware of other visual stimuli. Sort of like how having an "internal voice" makes it harder to pay attention to music or a conversation. My question, then, is whether or not deaf individuals who think in terms of visual cues would have similar difficulty (I imagine it'd be hard driving, for example).

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I've only been deaf for 9 months now. I have an internal voice, but I also think in sign language cause I've known American Sign Language for 3 years now. The people I've talked to who were either born deaf or went deaf early often tell me they think in sign language, printed word, independent of language (e.g. in images), or a combination thereof.

That's absolutely fascinating, to me! I think I understand what you mean: I work as an EMT, and sometimes while I'm taking a patient's pulse, a family member will ask me a question. I found out that I can talk to them without loosing count if I "count" by visualizing the numbers in my head with each beat. That way, my verbal reasoning center can carry on a conversation while my visual-spatial reasoning keeps counting. It's even easier if, instead of visualizing numbers, you envision some graphic representation of that number, like the dots on a set of dice. I.E., visualize one dot, then two arranged diagonally, then three, than one in four corners, etc.

Now, when I'm using that technique, I find that I'm less aware of other visual stimuli. Sort of like how having an "internal voice" makes it harder to pay attention to music or a conversation. My question, then, is whether or not deaf individuals who think in terms of visual cues would have similar difficulty (I imagine it'd be hard driving, for example).

Good analogy. For someone whose language is visual, their "internal voice" will take a visual channel.

As for multitasking, that depends. Some people can handle multiple channels, but only if they're in different mediums (watching something and listening to someone). Some people can handle two or more channels in the same medium (e.g. listening to music and talking at the same time). Some people can't even handle two channels in different mediums (e.g. reading a book and listening to music with lyrics). So I imagine that varies from individual to individual.

Nika

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I think LGBT is for anyone not monogamous, heterosexual and cisgendered. I think that's completely cogent.

I know a good deal of LGBTQ people that feel no association to the idea of polyamory, and a great deal more who are offended by it. I can easily see people arguing over whether polyamorous individuals should be included in the LGBTQ community, especially since it can occur within any orientation or gender identity, much like asexuality.

Nika

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I think LGBT is for anyone not monogamous, heterosexual and cisgendered. I think that's completely cogent.

I know a good deal of LGBTQ people that feel no association to the idea of polyamory, and a great deal more who are offended by it. I can easily see people arguing over whether polyamorous individuals should be included in the LGBTQ community, especially since it can occur within any orientation or gender identity, much like asexuality.

Nika

yeah I realise, I just don't think LGBT is about what gender people are attracted to, it's about promoting tolerance and offering support for people who might feel alienated/excluded by society's heteronormative paradigm.

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  • 2 months later...
rebekka1954

If I may put in my poor 2 cents. I have been an out & open lesbian, for about 20+ years, and an out & open asexual for 5-7 years, though I do advertise either, as for joining the communities together, to be truthful, it does not matter to me if they do, or don't, I will still be a lesbian & asexual.

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