anyone past 50 on here?

[cdrdash]

I'm finding that just about every time I take a "liking" (as in possible sqish, or maybe just a pm buddy) to someone on AVEN, it turns out that they are 19-24ish. Most of the time is says age unknown, but with some minor searching, age is revealed elsewhere or discussion of being in uni comes up. No biggie, but a little disheartening.

Also if not an age thing, it's an already taken kind of thing. I don't want admit or post in that thread that I have a squish on someone who is already spoken for or deemed age inappropriate.

Sounds a bit disheartening. I never think of AVEN as being a place where I am searching for a squish or someone who is free to be in a relationship with me. I do like certain people on AVEN but I can't say I'm ever concerned whether they are taken or worried about their age. I just like to interact with them online.

I do confess that I might meet someone through AVEN but since that is not my intent for being here I have a different mind set and have not gotten disheartened about things like this. Although I did go to ACE book, the dating site for asexuals, and I did get disheartened there with the lack of folks like me and near my age.

Cathy

p.s. added link to ACE book for folks who don't know about it.

[daveb]

Soxfan, I'm not surprised so many are in that age range as it seems like the (vast?) majority of AVENites are young. My experiences are much the same as Cathy's. I do have an acebook account, but I've had very little activity there - only a handful of messages, the majority of which were spam, and the rest of which fizzled out very quickly. But I rarely even check there anymore. I've reached a point in my life, especially with retirement and relocation coming up relatively soon, where I'm not really looking to establish any sort of relationship. Although I'm not against making friends if it just happens. And meeting up with people can be good, just to say hi and hang out for a little while. :)

Still, I can understand your feelings. It feels just like that where I work - the single women are much younger and everyone else is attached, or so it seems. Not that I'm looking for a relationship there either.

[tase]

I'm finding that just about every time I take a "liking" (as in possible sqish, or maybe just a pm buddy) to someone on AVEN, it turns out that they are 19-24ish. Most of the time is says age unknown, but with some minor searching, age is revealed elsewhere or discussion of being in uni comes up. No biggie, but a little disheartening.

Also if not an age thing, it's an already taken kind of thing. I don't want admit or post in that thread that I have a squish on someone who is already spoken for or deemed age inappropriate.

Sounds a bit disheartening. I never think of AVEN as being a place where I am searching for a squish or someone who is free to be in a relationship with me. I do like certain people on AVEN but I can't say I'm ever concerned whether they are taken or worried about their age. I just like to interact with them online.

I do confess that I might meet someone through AVEN but since that is not my intent for being here I have a different mind set and have not gotten disheartened about things like this. Although I did go to ACE book, the dating site for asexuals, and I did get disheartened there with the lack of folks like me and near my age.

Cathy

Thanks Cathy

I most definitely did not join AVEN with the intention of searching for any type of relationship. Possible friendship maybe. But sometimes if I start to feel a connection with someone and feel the urge to communicate with said someone, I run into the above mentioned issues. Like I said no biggie. I guess I was just having a lonely moment, it has now passed.

Glad you are home safe and sound. Too bad the driver acted unprofessional, but nice you tipped him regardless. Also I sending good thoughts that your parents remain in good health.

[tase]

Soxfan, I'm not surprised so many are in that age range as it seems like the (vast?) majority of AVENites are young. My experiences are much the same as Cathy's. I do have an acebook account, but I've had very little activity there - only a handful of messages, the majority of which were spam, and the rest of which fizzled out very quickly. But I rarely even check there anymore. I've reached a point in my life, especially with retirement and relocation coming up relatively soon, where I'm not really looking to establish any sort of relationship. Although I'm not against making friends if it just happens. And meeting up with people can be good, just to say hi and hang out for a little while. :)

Still, I can understand your feelings. It feels just like that where I work - the single women are much younger and everyone else is attached, or so it seems. Not that I'm looking for a relationship there either.

Thanks (as always :))daveb

I too joined acebook around the same time as joining AVEN. I've never had any response and never check anyway. I'm not even sure a relationship of any kind is what I really want. Like I have mentioned in other threads, and even this one, I just feel lonely sometimes, and with maybe one irl friend it compounds it a tad. I guess I will just continue to give hugs and take the pleasure I feel trying to make others feel better, and hopefully brighten someone's day.

[Cayce]

Glad to hear you are back Cathy, tipping in that situation is the best bet unfortunately, you never know if you'll get the same driver next time. I agree that the most exhausting part of caregiving for a parent is the emotional part, regardless of whether the relationship is good or not, there's just something about it.

Soxfan, I have found that the AVEN community and some other online interest based groups (depending on topic) can be overwhelmingly young, I think part of it is the timeline that socializing this way is "younger", I never had a computer until my early thirties and I was an early adopter! These last couple of generations grew up with it and it is a primary way of communication.

daveb, I'm in the same boat that it seems with pending relocation and other significant life changes, I really can't see how a relationship would fit into that. It's always fun to meet new folks and make friends though. :)

I hope Spot is unpacking and settling in, let us know how you're doing when you take a break, okay?

Welcome to the new folks and have some cake!

[daveb]

I think I can empathize with your feelings, Soxfan. I really don't have any local friends, just co-workers, and I rarely see any of them outside of work. There are times when I feel a bit lonely. Not often, but occasionally, especially special occasionally (like birthdays and holidays). I find it helps if I plan to do things for myself for those occasions (and also send out gifts and cards to hopefully brighten someone's day, too). I still also sometimes feel like others don't reciprocate as well and try my best not to let that disappoint me. It's not always easy. Best wishes to you!

So, Cayce, thinking about relocating? Any thoughts about where, or is it more idle thought at this point? Of course, if you don't want to say anything that's fine. Also best wishes to you!

[cdrdash]

Back from a very pleasant relaxed hike with Sharon. Pictures: https://picasaweb.google.com/105234689104952250166/Arastredero_10_10_15?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCP-UrvSK6N-DlgE&feat=directlink

[Tja]

Yes, the people here are too young for serious squishing/relationships. *I'm not knocking them. They're wonderful*

Also, only a handful of homoromantic males.

I had a younger person approach me here (early 30's), within 3 weeks was talking about moving in with me, and marriage! :o

Broke it off with me when I mentioned him on the squish thread and decided I wasn't being serious about our "relationship".

The relationship was, apparently, all in his head. I was barely aware of it. :P

Relationships have never, nor will ever, be in the cards for me, and I'm fine with that. The loneliness is intermittent and doesn't last long.

I'm never home long enough for friends, or a serious relationship.

AVEN meets all my requirements. ;)

[tase]

Yes, the people here are too young for serious squishing/relationships. *I'm not knocking them. They're wonderful*

Also, only a handful of homoromantic males.

I had a younger person approach me here (early 30's), within 3 weeks was talking about moving in with me, and marriage! :o

Broke it off with me when I mentioned him on the squish thread and decided I wasn't being serious about our "relationship".

The relationship was, apparently, all in his head. I was barely aware of it. :P

Relationships have never, nor will ever, be in the cards for me, and I'm fine with that. The loneliness is intermittent and doesn't last long.

I'm never home long enough for friends, or a serious relationship.

AVEN meets all my requirements. ;)

Yikes Tja that's pretty scary. I'm definitely not looking for anything like that. Intermittent Loneliness is pretty much what I feel. Sometimes it's worse than others.

You never know what the cards may hold, but it's great you are happy right here. :)

[Cayce]

Yes, daveb, I am thinking of relocating again. This was my first try at a mid-sized city out of several on the list, I decided to give it two years and see if it was the place. I've learned a lot this year, and there is much to be said for where I am, but I'm refining what's in an end point for me. Some things I wondered about and some things surprised me, but I know a lot more about this whole thing than before that's for sure. I have spots all around the country that are enticing in one way or another and it's a lot to consider. I've come to learn how important it is for me to be around cultural diversity (I thought that might be an issue) and am surprised at how important it is for me to be around historical architecture. Living up and down the west coast I was taking for granted the economic impact of timber and gold and how the cities were built, it didn't occur to me that there would be places without it. I know, *facepalm*. At this point in life I need to consider taxes and medical access, those sorts of things too. It's quite the research project.

I've been gone so much this last year that I want to give it more of a shot, but some of these things are becoming clearer. I'll tell you what though, if I've got to be in this kind of summer heat, it should come with beaches and palm trees! :lol:

Hey Tja, I did one similar to that about four years ago (not on AVEN), I thought we were on our fifth date and she thought we were getting married! Yikes.

[daveb]

It does look like a pleasant hike, Cathy. How was the weather? We're having some heat.

eep, Tja! Marriage talk!? Well, I guess it seems right for some people and I'm not opposed to marriage myself, but I'd take it pretty slow, I think. Not that I've had to worry about it. :P

That's good, Cayce. Live and learn. :)

I know from living in my current house, the first house I've lived in since I was a kid (my other residences as an adult were apartments) and the first house I've owned, I now have a better idea of what to look for in a house. I think the only way I could live in a condo is if it were a townhouse with no upstairs or downstairs neighbors and good thick walls between units, but I'd still prefer a standalone single house.

[cdrdash]

daveb, The weather on the hike was around 79 or 80 in the sun so not too bad. It was an OK day to hike in the late morning early afternoon. We did treat ourselves to ice cream after the hike but more because Sharon had a coupon than because we needed to cool off. I had a two scoop hot fudge sundae with black walnut ice cream for $2.99 instead of the usual $5.19.

Cathy

[RoninA]

Lots of activity while I've been away - welcome and to our new members.

Spot - pleased to see that your move went off without too many hitches. I hope you're all settling in OK. Cathy - good job with your parents. I understand the emotional pressures caring can bring, so I'm pleased your efforts paid off OK and your mum is home and doing OK.

I was interested in this 'acebook' thing - it has never occurred to me that people on Aven might be here to find partners or get into relationships, although I'm conversant with the spectrum. It sounds like a couple of people have had a 'Play MIsty For Me' moment... ;)

I'm back from a week or so away in Ireland and points rural in England and Wales. Did some whale-watching (saw lots of common dolphins and a couple of teasers where whales were feeding), and I thought of Cathy while looking for the standing stones at Cashelkeelty. Access was up the side of a steep hill via a heavily wooded area, then a long long walk round the ancient track called the Old Green Road (now part of a network of walks called the Beara Way), to find a site with two or three circles in fairly close proximity. I'm not much of a hiker, but this felt like a hike to me. Looks like if I'm hunting for more sites on future visits, it'll be on foot. Forewarned is forearmed...

My sister and I viewed a flat in the village near where our mother was born, and we're going to take a shot at buying it. We'll all (her, her husband, their dogs) move there, me to retire, she hopefully to finish her working life and then retire, and the flat would be a first base and a source of income once they have a house. Although I was born and raised in London, I know eventually I'll want to downshift. Sounds like a plan.

Hope everybody has a good Sunday, and a good week :)

[Tja]

I suppose, developing a platonic relationship with someone would be nice. Living together, to share expenses would be a good option, as I have nothing prepared for retirement.

I bought into that "buy a house and sell it to help with retirement", but that went to hell in a handbasket.

[Myssterry]

Had a lovely walk with Dog in the autumn sunshine. The colours are good this year, and should develop even more with luck.

On our return I drank tea and ate some lemon drizzle cake. Do things get much better than this? :)

[tase]

Had a lovely walk with Dog in the autumn sunshine. The colours are good this year, and should develop even more with luck.

On our return I drank tea and ate some lemon drizzle cake. Do things get much better than this? :)

That's really beautiful Miss Tricky

[Tja]

Had a lovely walk with Dog in the autumn sunshine. The colours are good this year, and should develop even more with luck.

On our return I drank tea and ate some lemon drizzle cake. Do things get much better than this? :)

Only if I had been there. :P

[Spotastic]

Hey everyone,

Still working on getting things unpacked and settling in. The game room is still full of most of our stuff, but things in the bedroom are starting to get more stable. Finally have all of our clothes out and sorted. The rest should go a bit quicker.

My wife is loving living on the farm, but is having some trouble adjusting to living with everyone else. My sister and one of her kids have ADHD and go bouncing about from one thing to the next, which leaves my wife feeling rushed and unwanted. She also hasn't lived with kids since she was one with her sister, so having three that are 7, 11, and 16 is a lot to adjust to. I think she'll be okay in time, but with everything else, this is another overwhelming factor and a trigger for her PTSD. I'm trying to keep her stable, but I'm honestly not great at the emotional comfort stuff.

One step at a time, I guess.

[Ndp salford]

Just throwing this out there.

I conduct most of my internet activity on my phone. I found Acebook so frustrating, my photos were always to large to upload, so I ended up deleting my account.

I'm still poking along on Aven, trying to ween myself off of Facebook.

It's almost 3pm and I'm still in bed with the dogs, searching the internet for ideas for my mom's 90th birthday on Thursday. She says she doesn't want a fuss. I don't talk to any of my siblings, and since they ignored her on Mothers Day, I doubt any of them have any plans. Anybody have some low key ideas? I would take her out for a meal, but I'm afraid she wouldn't be able to climb into my truck. The whole thing makes me sad.

[daveb]

RoninA, I'm envious of your jaunt to Ireland and rural points in England and Wales! The housing plans sound good, too. Good luck with the flat!

Tja, chuckling at your devil dog avatar...

Miss Tricky, love your Halloween name and avatar, too! Your autumn walk picture looks lovely. And the tea and lemon cake does sound good. :)

Ah, Spotastic, that does sound a bit rough on your wife. I get similar feelings (without the ptsd of course) around my mom. She can't seem to sit still long and has to get up and do little things around the house from time to time when I visit her. It's a little like being in a whirlwind. Not the most calming atmosphere. Hopefully it will get better there for your wife. Does she have some quiet place she can get to if need be? I find that helps me (but it's not really possible at my mom's house - when I was a kid my quiet retreat was the public library or sometimes one of the local canyons).

Ndp salford, my mom doesn't like to go out to eat anymore. Last time me and one of my sisters wanted to take her out for an occasion (Mother's Day or maybe her birthday), my mom just said, "oh, you 2 go ahead without me". My mom really doesn't want any fuss. What can you do?

These days I try to do things like bring her things to read (books, science magazines I get) and money. Reading is one of the pleasures she still engages in, and she can always use some extra money being on a fixed income (but she doesn't want charity, so I give it to her as a gift, to do what she wants). Maybe there is something simple you can do for your mom that addresses something she enjoys (or needs)?

[Ndp salford]

daveb- Mom wants to go to Wendy's. I'll make a trip to the drive-through. She has plenty of money, but no access to it, as my sister is POA. That's a whole 'nother can of worms my therapist is pulling her hair out over.

Anyways, I do like your book suggestion, she needs large print. Probably too late to order from Amazon, I'll be hitting the book stores on the way down (she lives about an hour from me).

90 is such a milestone though......

[daveb]

That's true, 90 is a good milestone. Just remember, it's her milestone, so what makes her happy is good. Wendy's and a large print book sound like a good plan. :)

[Finding myself]

Ndp salford: Hi, how about buying a cake with happy birthday on it? or some flowers? Just ideas in case they help.

[Michealinga]

Im 50, and new to this site.......excuse me while I stumble around finding my way... :)

[Ndp salford]

Finding myself - Yes, I may just do that to cover my bases. I'll end up eating the cake, though.

😬

Hi Michealinga - I'm new here too and finding it great place!

[Tja]

Welcome Ndp salford and Michaelinga! Enjoy AVEN.

[Skycaptain]

Michaelinga welcome , stumble around AVEN and have fun here

[tase]

Welcome Michaelinga :)

[Cayce]

Hey Spot, I'm glad your settling in a bit. I'm sorry your wife is getting triggered by the activity. As someone who generally is the one bouncing around, I can assure it isn't calming for the person doing it either. She will have to find quiet spots and maybe you can work that out with your sister?

I can't imagine being around kids at all so three of them at various stages must be quite a challenge.

Welcome Michaelinga and Ndp salford!

[daveb]

Welcome, Michealinga! Have some

I have to do some traveling for work, maybe once or twice a year. And occasionally some traveling for "fun". But I'm getting to the point where I don't look forward to the travel at all. To the point of starting to dread it (well, dread might be a little strong). The closer it gets to the time to travel the more I think about ways to get out of it or start hoping something will happen that requires the travel to be canceled. It's not that I dislike seeing new places. I think it's more that I am getting increasingly disillusioned and weary of the way public transportation works. I'm including things like airline travel even though it's private industry. The point is, you're still crammed in with lots of strangers, in uncomfortable surroundings, with little control over anything. And, in my case at least, often very alone amongst the crowds. I'm not even a big fan of long drives, but at least if I'm driving I have more control over the situation and being alone without strangers in close proximity is more tolerable.

The old ideas of ocean liners, train travel, and newer things like cruises seem better. At least in those modes you can have your own space to retreat to (assuming you can afford the accommodations). And newer ideas like self-driving cars or public transport pods sound good to me. With the self-driving cars you can avoid the tedium of driving if you want to or need to. Maybe even sleep while getting to your destination. The public transport pod idea (not sure what the correct term is) is that there are these individual pods that can be attached/detached as needed into a sort of train. So you have your own pod or compartment, that can be attached to a longer train for the main lines of a route and detached to peel off to specific destinations.

The best world, as far as I'm concerned, would be some sort of transporter, where you cut out the travel and just go from your departure point to your destination. I imagine that if that could ever become a reality that at least at first they would have some sort of central depot you would have to go to be transported to and from. Sort of a Grand Central Station for transporters.

In the meantime, I'll keep dreaming about maybe doing some train travel or car trips. :) (I can even see the appeal of some sort of small motorhome (more likely around van size would be enough for me) where you could set it up to be somewhat home-like and familiar; even take a pet or 2 along)

Then again, I may just do a few more trips (once more to Europe, maybe once to Aus. and NZ, and some "local" US trips), and then be more stay at home as I get older.