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Autumn Sunrise

Cathy, I'm sorry to hear you've been having so much worry about your parents - it's never easy, is it? I lost both my parents a few years ago - mum aged 87 and dad 94 - but we (i.e. my siblings and I) had some dramas with their health in the couple of years before that. It's true that you would have less worry about your parents if they moved into an assisted living facility, but I can understand their wanting to live in their own home for as long as they can, and I'm sure they appreciate that you are so understanding and caring of them.

I hope things get better soon - try not to stress too much :wub:

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Thanks Tja, spooktastic, daveb, and Autumn Sunrise.

Its really helpful to vent on this thread and I appreciate the stories of other's who have experienced this or are experiencing it.

Cathy

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I'm 62 and totally astonished by that number. Where did the years go? It's like I went to bed one night when I was maybe 40 and woke up the next day in my 60s. I know this isn't uncommon, but it certainly feels weird to me.

When people ask me my age,I generally tell them, "My body feels about 80, my mind feels 16-24 and my spirit is ageless. Take your pick."

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Aisntllecxtual

Cathy, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom and the challenging situation concerning care for your Dad. :( My Mom (72) and Dad (75) are still quite young but as daveb said they days will eventually come. My wife's father died a couple of years back (was devastating to her and still traumatically reverberates to this day). After he died, her mother's near blindness became total. She asked her (my wife) for both of us to move in with her temporarily after her husband's death because of grief, I think, primarily. Her Mom has since isolated (communicated we would assist her - be her eyes - but has never stepped out of her apartment in, I think, at least two years. Now, it has become a self-fulfilling prophesy - even with our help, I wonder if she could take a mere step down the stairwell. She has become nearly totally dependent: walk very short distance to the bathroom, feed herself, yes, otherwise, capable of very little.) Anyway, the temporary move has become permanent - has been more than two years since we moved in with her. Although my wife had an extremely warm close relationship with her father, this is not the case with her mother - seems downright dysfunctional, a lot of argument and much yelling. Our marriage already was under huge stress (that would sink almost any union) before the move. Now, well, it is the Titanic. She seems to have largely given up on the desire to continue living - communicated the wish to die. She does not wish to go to the state-managed nursing home here (which seems like a good place) but has reluctantly communicated she needs to go. The week before the nurse came to the apartment to interview her and take her vitals. Thereafter, she was transported via lift chair to the hospital for a thorough check-up. The papers have been signed to enter the home, but the wait may be long.

This experience with my wife's parents make me wonder how long in regard to my own parents... I wish to spend every little precious moment with them. I send you my heartfelt wishes, Cathy, for the well-being of your mother and father. And if relaying our stories are helpful to you in this difficult time, I hope my story adds to the lightening, knowing that others are facing the trials and tribulations of aging parents and the care challenges that inevitably arise, if, that is, we are fortunate to still have them with us.

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Aisntllecxtual, thanks for your story.

The nurse at the hospital reports that my Mom does have an obstructed bowel but surgery is not necessary. She does have to stay in the hospital another night at least. They are removing the obstruction through non-surgical methods. Its not comfortable but its not life threatening. Apparently they have her up walking around to help break up the obstruction and are amazed at the energy of my 86 year old Mom. No news of how Sandy is doing taking care of Dad. I hope to hear from Sandy soon with a report but I really don't know her so I can't be sure how often she is going to communicate with us or manage to visit Dad and get the message to us via their email (my Mom and Dad's email). I'm going on the thought of no news is good news and Dad is doing fine. My Dad mostly needs help with being sure he takes all his medicine, getting his c-pap machine on at night, and having someone cook meals for him. Otherwise he is pretty good at taking care of himself from what I could tell when I visited in September.

Cathy

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Good news, Cathy!

Your folks sound more active than me :o I'm tired just hearing about them ;)

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Welcome, SIMI! Have some :cake:

Went to the eye doctor today - while I am nearsighted (and have been for decades) he said otherwise my eyes are very healthy. Now I just need to order new glasses - thinking of getting the kind that darken, but with clip-on sunglasses for extra darkness (which I could really use around where I live). (thanks to Cathy for that idea!) :)

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Autumn Sunrise

Glad to hear there is better news about your Mom, Cathy. Hopefully she'll soon be back home and feeling better!

Your parents sounds pretty amazing for their ages :rolleyes:

I'm 62 and totally astonished by that number. Where did the years go? It's like I went to bed one night when I was maybe 40 and woke up the next day in my 60s. I know this isn't uncommon, but it certainly feels weird to me.

When people ask me my age,I generally tell them, "My body feels about 80, my mind feels 16-24 and my spirit is ageless. Take your pick."

Simi, welcome, from one Newbie to another :cake: I know what you mean about the different ways we perceive our age: sometimes my body feels really old, but I'd be more worried if it was my mind or spirit - my daughter calls me "young at heart" and I'd like to think she's right. Anyway, I think you have the right attitude to that question :)

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A few weeks ago, I was browsing youtube and came across 'Bookends' (Simon and Garfunkle) and the line 'How terribly strange to be 70' - took me back so many years (when I was in my late teens) and singing along to it. Then 70 was a lifetime away, I could never imagine being so old. Now it's just round the corner.

*Been trying to get a link but Youtube is playing up - will try later :) *

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Finding myself

cdrdash : Really sorry you have had this emergency and associated stress and anxiety. It is just so difficult when our parents need support in order to stay in their own homes. When one of them is taken ill or has a fall, it certainly increases the pressure hugely. So pleased that it seems like your Mum will be returning home very soon. Also, very pleased that your parents have a neighbour(s) who have helped support your Dad.

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A few weeks ago, I was browsing youtube and came across 'Bookends' (Simon and Garfunkle) and the line 'How terribly strange to be 70' - took me back so many years (when I was in my late teens) and singing along to it. Then 70 was a lifetime away, I could never imagine being so old. Now it's just round the corner.

*Been trying to get a link but Youtube is playing up - will try later :) *

I loved Simon and Garfunkle music but I can't remember how Bookends went. It amazes me how time goes so fast the older you get and I'm only 53. The speed of time seems to increase exponentially with age! I still remember at 10 years of age when having to wait an hour seemed just ages and ages and tortuous. Now if you tell me I have to wait an hour it doesn't seem like a long wait at all.

Cathy

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My sister, Cecily, has decided to visit Mom and Dad flying there on Sunday. That makes me feel so relieved that one of us (the siblings) will be there to help. And we heard from Mom's friends that the caring for my Dad is gong well and he is fine. I'm assuming he misses and worries about Mom though. So things are positive at this point. I'm feeling more upbeat knowing my big sister will be there on Sunday to help. Hopefully Mom will get to come home from the hospital before Wednesday so Cecily can help Mom get settled at home before she has to return to her home. However, I don't know how long it takes to treat a bowel obstruction so it could be Mom might be in the hospital for all of Cecily's visit. But its still good to know Cecily will be there to take care of Dad and visit Mom in the hospital and send news to her other three siblings: me, Bob, and David!

Cathy

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Happy Birthday, Westcoaster! :cake: :cake: :cake:

You're on the ball Tja! Did you see Westcoaster's birthday on the main page or did she post that her birthday was today?

Happy Birthday from me too Westcoaster! :cake::cake::cake::cake: :)

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Happy Birthday, Westcoaster! :cake: :cake: :cake:

You're on the ball Tja! Did you see Westcoaster's birthday on the main page or did she post that her birthday was today?

Happy Birthday from me too Westcoaster! :cake::cake::cake::cake: :)

I always check the main page ;)

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Happy Halloween to all! (The weather forecast says we could get some rain overnight!) :)

And Happy Birthday and :cake: to Westcoaster! I hope it's a happy one. :D

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Autumn Sunrise

And Happy Birthday (slightly belated) from me too, Westcoaster :cake::cake::cake::cake: (I hope you LOVE cake!)

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Got my new glasses today (with transition self-darkening and added clip-on dark lenses). Always good to get new glasses. :)

And we did get some rain! In fact, it was pouring down on my drive to the optometrist's. While waiting for the glasses I stopped in the bookstore and got a couple of books and some greeting cards.

A nice day. :)

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Aisntllecxtual

Nice to hear Cathy that the situation with your Mom and Dad is progressing positively. by the way we are less than a year apart. I just turned 54 last month.

daveb - Outside of my mania for books (that have all been recently given away, ouch!!) and weakness for creatively stylish glasses - love the process of shopping for them (have seven pair: single vision, reading, sun, and transitions) - I have few wants. Have fun looking around for your specs. I am envious!

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Went hiking with my friend Sharon today. We got rained on a bit at the start but soon the rain ended. We shed our rain gear after lunch. We did get a few drops here and there after lunch. The clouds passing over the hills made for some great views. We also saw deer and a California newt.

Canada Del Oro hike pictures: https://picasaweb.google.com/105234689104952250166/Canada_Del_Oro_11_1_14?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIeVwt6X-oDH5wE&feat=directlink

Cathy

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Went hiking with my friend Sharon today. We got rained on a bit at the start but soon the rain ended. We shed our rain gear after lunch. We did get a few drops here and there after lunch. The clouds passing over the hills made for some great views. We also saw deer and a California newt.

Canada Del Oro hike pictures: https://picasaweb.google.com/105234689104952250166/Canada_Del_Oro_11_1_14?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIeVwt6X-oDH5wE&feat=directlink

Cathy

Nice! Cool newt, too. I've never seen one in the wild.

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Autumn Sunrise

Went hiking with my friend Sharon today. We got rained on a bit at the start but soon the rain ended. We shed our rain gear after lunch. We did get a few drops here and there after lunch. The clouds passing over the hills made for some great views. We also saw deer and a California newt.

Canada Del Oro hike pictures: https://picasaweb.google.com/105234689104952250166/Canada_Del_Oro_11_1_14?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIeVwt6X-oDH5wE&feat=directlink

Cathy

I wasn't even sure what a newt looks like - you learn something new every day :rolleyes:

Great views, Cathy!

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Finding myself

It has been half term from college this week just gone. I have found it very difficult. The loss of my parents is hitting hard at the moment. But my life goes on.

One day I went to a mosaic supply shop over the other side of London. I needed to drive because I was intending to make some heavy-ish purchases. Travelling around London from north to south took 90 mins (55 miles) and coming back, I opted to go through the middle, and it took 150 mins (16 miles). Horrendous! So much traffic! Still I got many goodies that I will enjoy using for mosaics. It was worth the journey, and having now been to the shop and seen the selection of things first hand, I will order online for a good while!

College resumes tomorrow.

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Went hiking with my friend Sharon today. We got rained on a bit at the start but soon the rain ended. We shed our rain gear after lunch. We did get a few drops here and there after lunch. The clouds passing over the hills made for some great views. We also saw deer and a California newt.

Canada Del Oro hike pictures: https://picasaweb.google.com/105234689104952250166/Canada_Del_Oro_11_1_14?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIeVwt6X-oDH5wE&feat=directlink

Cathy

I wasn't even sure what a newt looks like - you learn something new every day :rolleyes:

Great views, Cathy!

Glad I contributed to your education ... the California newts tend to come out when its rainy.

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It has been half term from college this week just gone. I have found it very difficult. The loss of my parents is hitting hard at the moment. But my life goes on.

One day I went to a mosaic supply shop over the other side of London. I needed to drive because I was intending to make some heavy-ish purchases. Travelling around London from north to south took 90 mins (55 miles) and coming back, I opted to go through the middle, and it took 150 mins (16 miles). Horrendous! So much traffic! Still I got many goodies that I will enjoy using for mosaics. It was worth the journey, and having now been to the shop and seen the selection of things first hand, I will order online for a good while!

College resumes tomorrow.

Sounds as bad as driving in Los Angeles, which I why I avoid it "like the plague".

Sorry about your sadness. Hopefully it will get better with more time. That's good about the mosaics shop, though. Sometimes it's fun to go and see items in person and get an idea of what's available and what it's actually like. As you said, now you have a better idea when you want to order stuff online (and avoid the London traffic!). Best wishes!

I need/want to see about getting a haircut today. I put it off while I was sick, but it's doing its weird curls that stick up all over - now I'm feeling up to it (mostly just a bit phlegmatic and slightly hoarse these days).

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I had to pop in and make my presence known again :D The Musings and Rantings forum has been getting a bit overwhelming (or is it underwhelming?) and I need to pop back here again. It was a busy week as usual with job demands keeping me busy as well as studying for my FCC commercial license. I took two of the three required exams I need for my license on Thursday morning and passed both with 100% (Radio Law, Operations and Safety plus RADAR Theory, Operations and Repair). I now have one more exam to pass that I am studying for now that will take another few weeks to master. Thankfully this is something I am doing on my own so there is no deadline to get it accomplished other than the satisfaction of knowing I did it. Hopefully it will be a good fallback position if/when my software job comes to an end. After 30 years in the computer industry, I am basically too old to find another job in the field, even with a BS in Computer Science, but the electronics field is still viable and I see job postings around.

Time crawl back into the wood work!

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After 30 years in the computer industry, I am basically too old to find another job in the field, even with a BS in Computer Science, but the electronics field is still viable and I see job postings around.

Its a shame that the computer industry doesn't value the senior folks in the field. When I walk to work past the Google complex, most of the people arriving to work on the buses look to be in their 20s or 30s -- not too many old faces walking around. I work in the flight software division of SSL, a satellite manufacturer. I'm hoping my job lasts another 12 years (when I plan to retire at age 65). I think I could find a job if I lost this one, but being 50+ would be a negative factor. I do have an engineering background rather than a computer science background and I think that helped me get my current job where I patch the flight software on satellites. I also have a secret clearance and so can look at jobs that require clearances. I hate job searching and all the networking it requires but I still do keep my linkedin profile updated and go to conferences and maintain my membership in professional organizations (like IEEE) in the sad event that I'm laid off from SSL. I have been laid off twice in my career so far.

I hope you can keep your current job for a while or your new skills will help you find a different job if you lose it!

Cathy

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Good luck on your third exam, Techie! Sounds like you will do well.

And good luck to Techie and Cathy on the job front (as in, not having to search for a new job! I do not like job hunting either). I'm lucky in the company I work for. Plenty of "old-timers" (people who have worked there for many years - I've been there about 16 years and there are a good number of people who have been there longer than that), as well as new and/or young people (not all of the new hires have been young people, although many are just out of college some have also come from other jobs/careers). It's a stable company, no layoffs in its long history. So I hope and expect to remain there until retirement, too (hopefully less than 8 years to go, and maybe as few as 4 years).

My "mission" for today was accomplished - haircut and I didn't even have to wait. Just the way I like it.

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Cathy, I moved back to the U.S. at age 49, at the peak of the Great Recession. Just divorced, having spent the last 15 years supporting the husband's overseas career (as well as procreating), left me with a VERY under-developed CV. I moved back to my small hometown, and there were NO jobs available. NONE. I had been taking some online classes in web design, and had one friend in town who was a small business owner and she really needed a new website. She couldn't afford to pay me, so I built a new website and got the employee discount at her health food store. Five years later, I currently am working for eight local small businesses, as their web designer, blogger and social media manager. And for one business, a boutique fitness studio, I'm the business manager.

I'm busy! And I'm so happy with my life! I was really scared for a few years, but I'm so happy to not be a part of the corporate world and I enjoy the freedom of working freelance. I can maintain this level of work for quite a few years.

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