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Does sex really feel *that* good?


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#1 Raccoons & Arca N.H.

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 08:44 PM

[b]This is a question for people who enjoy sex. Does it really feel that good? Why does it feel so good and whats so attractive about it? Its just like....sticking a pole up there, if anything it would be painful?

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#2 prettyeyes

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 09:17 PM

It feels... Like being warm. :lol: I can't really explain it much better than that. And that's if it doesn't hurt. If they go on too long it feels like... Torture.

#3 Tristy

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 11:11 PM

Why bother trying to understand it? Assuming you are asexual, you cannot understand it, and shouldn't waste your efforts trying. If an alien race with an inherent incapability of recognising beauty asked you "What's so nice about a sunrise? It's just the earth rotating to allow the Sun's light to reach the part of the planet in which your visual range is occupying. It's just like... light and warmth. If anything it would be blindingly irritating?", what would you say? Irrelevant of whether or not you like sunrises, they are a popular pleasurable visual imagery amongst humans in general, so that is what I'm using as an example. Obviously sexuals derive pleasure from sex more than just in the act itself, and asexuals obviously lack whatever beauty appreciation/perception that sexuals have. I don't see much use in trying to comprehend it.

#4 RandomDent

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 02:44 AM

Sex is marmite.

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#5 Hallucigenia

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 02:44 AM

I think FelineHuggles was asking (at least partly) for asexuals who enjoy sex. Those do exist, although I imagine they enjoy it in a rather different way from sexuals.

As for "if anything it would be painful": If you just randomly stuck a pole up there, then of course it would be painful. But when most people who know what they're doing have penetrative sex, they do things to make their bodies react in ways that make it not-painful. Mainly (in the case of females) through lubrication and through processes that make more room up there.

Not all sexuals enjoy penetration, though. Some people only enjoy external stimulation, but they're still plenty sexual. So talking about "sticking a pole up there" is a bit of a red herring. Even sexuals who enjoy penetration usually want some external stimulation at the same time to go with it.

Any further explanation on my part might run into the inevitable sexual-asexual communication barrier. Basically, most people are sensitive down there and the right kind of touching feels good to them, and trying to explain why that is can get very circular. And then, of course, there's the emotional pleasure that can be gotten with a partner, which is even harder to explain. :D At some point, you'll just have to trust us on this.

#6 evanescence

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 03:37 AM

Quote: Basically, most people are sensitive down there and the right kind of touching feels good to them, and trying to explain why that is can get very circular.

I keep coming back to arousal. In my very limited experience of true sexual arousal (i.e., feeling mentally turned on and physically engorged), arousal heightens sensitivity at least 10-fold. Normally when I masturbate it's a purely mechanical process and it takes me about 2 minutes to come. On the handful of occasions in my life when I've actually been turned on, being touched felt completely different and I came within seconds. So when some asexuals wonder whether they lack sensitivity in our genital nerve endings, I doubt very much that's the case. It's rather that, in the absence of arousal, the "nether regions" are literally, physically less sensitive.

E.

#7 Sally

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 04:28 AM

In the absence of arousal, the nether regions don't want to be touched at all. Touch then can cause either the sensation of tickling (not pleasant), irritation, or actual pain.

TMI:

If a woman doesn't want to have sex with someone (actively doesn't want it, not just being bored/indifferent), it's irritating physically and then the next time it happens, it's even more irritating, because without arousal the area doesn't become lubricated and the tissues can become injured. Each subsequent time makes it worse. Some people go through this for years to please their partners.

I don't have the energy to do PMs.


#8 ghosts

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 03:13 PM

I think FelineHuggles was asking (at least partly) for asexuals who enjoy sex. Those do exist, although I imagine they enjoy it in a rather different way from sexuals.

As for "if anything it would be painful": If you just randomly stuck a pole up there, then of course it would be painful. But when most people who know what they're doing have penetrative sex, they do things to make their bodies react in ways that make it not-painful. Mainly (in the case of females) through lubrication and through processes that make more room up there.

Not all sexuals enjoy penetration, though. Some people only enjoy external stimulation, but they're still plenty sexual. So talking about "sticking a pole up there" is a bit of a red herring. Even sexuals who enjoy penetration usually want some external stimulation at the same time to go with it.

Any further explanation on my part might run into the inevitable sexual-asexual communication barrier. Basically, most people are sensitive down there and the right kind of touching feels good to them, and trying to explain why that is can get very circular. And then, of course, there's the emotional pleasure that can be gotten with a partner, which is even harder to explain. :D At some point, you'll just have to trust us on this.

This. I identify as asexual, but I can definitely enjoy sex. It's all about how you go about it - lubrication helps, arousal can certainly help, & stimulation during penetrative sex also helps quite a bit. It *would* hurt if something was just rammed up there all of a sudden.

I often don't feel like I'm aroused, but perhaps I am physically & just don't really notice it. But I'm still able to enjoy it.

#9 Sally

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 05:50 PM

[quote name='ghosts' date='05 February 2010 - 07:13 AM' timestamp='1265382805' This. I identify as asexual, but I can definitely enjoy sex. It's all about how you go about it - lubrication helps, arousal can certainly help, & stimulation during penetrative sex also helps quite a bit. It *would* hurt if something was just rammed up there all of a sudden.

I often don't feel like I'm aroused, but perhaps I am physically & just don't really notice it. But I'm still able to enjoy it.
[/quote]

The "how you go about it" is true for some asexuals. For others, me included, it doesn't matter how someone goes about it -- it's not a method issue. It's unwanted, unpleasant, and there's no arousal, and thus it hurts.

There's a lot of variation among asexuals about how actual penetrative sex feels, just as there's variation among asexuals about whether they want any kind of bodily closeness. Some do, some don't.

I don't have the energy to do PMs.


#10 PiF

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 05:53 PM

the only part I enjoy is making the person I'm with ..happy

the physical feelings ..I'm sorry to say there are non for me..it's just an act of motions similar to washing the dishes...a means to an end

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#11 CBC.Radio.Girl

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 06:03 PM

the only part I enjoy is making the person I'm with ..happy

I think that's a common feeling amongst many asexuals. (At least those who aren't repulsed and/or antisexual.) For a lot of people, there's an enjoyable mental aspect to doing something for someone you love.
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#12 ghosts

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 06:35 PM

The "how you go about it" is true for some asexuals. For others, me included, it doesn't matter how someone goes about it -- it's not a method issue. It's unwanted, unpleasant, and there's no arousal, and thus it hurts.

There's a lot of variation among asexuals about how actual penetrative sex feels, just as there's variation among asexuals about whether they want any kind of bodily closeness. Some do, some don't.

I'm well aware of that - I was just answering from the point of view of someone who does like it & why (& also, why it could be painful/unpleasant if it wasn't approached in certain ways). Specifically me. I think that kind of discussion/advice can be useful for anyone who is interested in having sex. I know that if I hadn't have known this type of stuff going into a sexual relationship, it certainly wouldn't have been as pleasant of an experience. But obviously different people can experience sex differently.




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