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what is aromantic? help my mate out.


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#1 deletethisplease

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 04:38 AM

My friend is wondering if he would be aromantic. He says he only likes friendship. He doesn't mind the term love, but touching people makes him upset. ive seen it happen. He is almost 20 now and its really upsetting him. I told him that aromantic means you don't want any relationship except friendship. even if u don't touch in that relationship. And i went into an example of my relationship. And i said that he may not be aromantic, but he doesn't know. (im still trying to convince him to get an AVEN acount but he is really shy).

I know my stand with relationships. I love someone, i am very emotionally attracted to her, but i don't need physical contact to show her.

What would be a good example of an aromantic person?

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#2 knout

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 10:13 AM

It's either someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction, or someone who doesn't want to be romantically involved.

#3 Sciatrix

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 01:26 PM

Most of the actual self-identified aromantics who speak up when we go and define the terms out fall in with the first definition, by the way. It's not necessarily not wanting to be in a relationship, but it's not being able to be romantically interested in any specific person.

Other bits about what being aromantic is to me: I actually really crave emotional intimacy, but I don't fixate on one person for it and the idea of being in a romantic relationship with one of my friends is unappealing to me. I don't get crushes. I love people quite strongly, but not in the context of romantic love. I don't mind romance in fiction and will actually sometimes seek it out, but I can't imagine myself being in one.

There's an old thread about defining aromanticness here, if you felt interested in reading it.

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#4 Guest_member25959_*

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 08:34 PM

A person with almost zero romantic attraction. You could be with anyone and feel............nothing really. You may want to form friendships, but not relationships.

#5 Orion

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 11:14 PM

I'm aromantic. I'm not sure how I can explain it for you exactly. I love my friends but I don't love my friends. Here, imagine your best friend (someone not romantic to you). You would help if they're in trouble. Care for them if they're sick. Etc. Well, that's how I feel for my friends and that's it. I'm not sure what is exactly meant by "love" for a romantic interest. I just don't have a clue what people are talking about. And I don't even want to hug, kiss or cuddle with my friends or with anyone else. Also, part of aromantism may be not feeling lonely for a partner in that way. Yes, I do want to hang out with my friends and I feel a little lonely to go out and play now and then. But really don't feel as if I'm missing out. I just don't feel any need to have a boyfriend. If anything, it would feel like a burden to me to have one. Maybe if your friend feels that way, they might probably be aromantic.
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#6 deletethisplease

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 04:16 AM

I'm aromantic. I'm not sure how I can explain it for you exactly. I love my friends but I don't love my friends. Here, imagine your best friend (someone not romantic to you). You would help if they're in trouble. Care for them if they're sick. Etc. Well, that's how I feel for my friends and that's it. I'm not sure what is exactly meant by "love" for a romantic interest. I just don't have a clue what people are talking about. And I don't even want to hug, kiss or cuddle with my friends or with anyone else. Also, part of aromantism may be not feeling lonely for a partner in that way. Yes, I do want to hang out with my friends and I feel a little lonely to go out and play now and then. But really don't feel as if I'm missing out. I just don't feel any need to have a boyfriend. If anything, it would feel like a burden to me to have one. Maybe if your friend feels that way, they might probably be aromantic.

But romance isn't limited to physical touch now, is it?

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#7 Orion

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Posted 06 February 2010 - 11:57 PM

But romance isn't limited to physical touch now, is it?


No. It isn't. And, that's the part that I don't understand.
I agree with you. I was trying to explain in my previous post both physical and emotional sides of the issue for me.
Romance is more than a physical connection. So what separates love for a friend and love for a romantic partner? I've never experienced even a slight inclination for the latter. Usually, when a friend shows interest in creating a romantic connection I withdraw because I don't want that and don't feel that at all. Can a romantic ace here explain what it is like to love a partner?
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#8 Moondragon007

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 01:15 AM

I'm aromantic, so I'm qualified to answer.

Think back to the time when you were a kid and you thought boys/girls had "cooties". That's the way being aromatic is. Except that the opposite sex doesn't have cooties any more. But you still don't want to be more than friends. I hope you understand what I'm saying, cos I don't know if I'm saying it right. :wacko:
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#9 hml1014

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 04:34 PM

Hmm, well I'm aromantic and I wouldn't say being aromantic is just not wanting a relationship, it's that I've never even felt the desire for one. I've never had a crush or felt romantically attracted to anyone I know. I'm happy just being friends with people. :)
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