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Well, *when* you start having sex...


AVENCakes

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*sighs* I hate it when people make that assumption. My therapist was telling me the importance of getting pap smears or whatever to check for cervical cancer and that it was and STD. I said I wasn't sexually active. After over a year of dating my partner. She paused and said "Well, when you and your partner start having sex..." *groan*

Not only that- but since it's an STD, it's pretty unlikely my virgin partner has it either.

Not a giant deal and it's good to be aware of this stuff and watch out for it and yes I know it's a good idea to get checked just in case, but I really hate that people assume you will be having sex.

I didn't get into that I'm asexual because I don't like the implications people take from that, especially in terms of gender (If one more person says "We'll see how that changes when you start T *hurrhurr*"... Yeah, I HAVE A LIBIDO THAT ISN'T THE PROBLEM). So it's not a major aggravation, and an understandable idea... but I don't like that it's not "if" it's "when".

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

If any health professional, mental or otherwise, knows a damn thing about me and still tells me I'm going to eventually have sex, I'm going to have a very hard time not flipping him or her off.

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I hate that too. It makes me uncomfortable to think that most people must look at you and assume you're having/are planning on having sex. Ew, don't associate me with that! :(

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I don't really have a problem with them assuming that I would (I'm not repulsed and I have a sexual boyfriend), as long as they don't think it's possible I would with them. Especially in spite of being indifferent asexual AND insanely in love with someone... :angry:

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I'm mostly repulsed that someone who spent how many years going to college and should know how to talk to patients and have a decent 'beside manner' still refuses to actually LISTEN to his/her patients and refuses to acknowledge or is ignorant that there's a large and varied sexual spectrum.

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*sighs* I hate it when people make that assumption. My therapist was telling me the importance of getting pap smears or whatever to check for cervical cancer and that it was and STD. I said I wasn't sexually active. After over a year of dating my partner. She paused and said "Well, when you and your partner start having sex..." *groan*

Lots of sexual people make that assumption, just like lots of parents assume that everyone else wants to or will have kids.

If I were you, I'd get a new therapist. Obviously, she's not listening to you or taking you seriously.

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warehouse_eyes
*sighs* I hate it when people make that assumption. My therapist was telling me the importance of getting pap smears or whatever to check for cervical cancer and that it was and STD. I said I wasn't sexually active. After over a year of dating my partner. She paused and said "Well, when you and your partner start having sex..." *groan*

Not only that- but since it's an STD, it's pretty unlikely my virgin partner has it either.

Not a giant deal and it's good to be aware of this stuff and watch out for it and yes I know it's a good idea to get checked just in case, but I really hate that people assume you will be having sex.

I didn't get into that I'm asexual because I don't like the implications people take from that, especially in terms of gender (If one more person says "We'll see how that changes when you start T *hurrhurr*"... Yeah, I HAVE A LIBIDO THAT ISN'T THE PROBLEM). So it's not a major aggravation, and an understandable idea... but I don't like that it's not "if" it's "when".

My doctor always does this. That or she thinks i am lying when i tell her i don't have sex with my partner.

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I thought that there was also a virus that wasn't sexually transmitted that could cause cervical cancer? At least, that's what people from random walks of life and the television have been telling me.

If it's only a STD, well, fuck the pap smear then. I don't want someone prodding my vagina to tell me that I don't have a disease that I already knew I couldn't catch in the first place.

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Meh. It's annoying, but to be fair, we are a minority: most people will have sex at some point in their lives, often many, many times. To assume that the person you're speaking to will, at some point, start having sex isn't so much bad or wrong as it is a usually fair generalisation. The fact that it's off the mark once in a blue moon is just something those on the wrong end of it will just have to live with.

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I've not too long ago encountered something that I found puzzling. I told an older christian lady from church that I do not plan on ever marrying. She then proceeded to talk about "when" I marry, and told me a story about a lady who married late, etc.

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I've not too long ago encountered something that I found puzzling. I told an older christian lady from church that I do not plan on ever marrying. She then proceeded to talk about "when" I marry, and told me a story about a lady who married late, etc.

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I thought that there was also a virus that wasn't sexually transmitted that could cause cervical cancer? At least, that's what people from random walks of life and the television have been telling me.

If it's only a STD, well, fuck the pap smear then. I don't want someone prodding my vagina to tell me that I don't have a disease that I already knew I couldn't catch in the first place.

Interestingly enough, when I went in to a gynecologist's office last month for my first pap smear (I'm 30), my NP told me I did not need one since I had not had intercourse, ever. She seemed completely unphased by it and just did a breast examination and discussed menstruation. The only reason I went for a pap smear was because for years doctors had recommended all women have one whether or not she had sex. Now that the guidelines have changed, many (or at least my NP) don't do it. Which is fine by me. ^_^

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Meh. It's annoying, but to be fair, we are a minority: most people will have sex at some point in their lives, often many, many times. To assume that the person you're speaking to will, at some point, start having sex isn't so much bad or wrong as it is a usually fair generalisation. The fact that it's off the mark once in a blue moon is just something those on the wrong end of it will just have to live with.

In general I agree with this, but once you have said you will never have sex/are asexual they should not automatically assume you will change your mind and become "normal", which is what I believe most of us are talking about.

If I EVER have to explain asexuality to someone twice, I'll ... probably sit them down and try to be even clearer, actually.

But mentally, if I EVER have to explain asexuality to someone twice, I will have unpleasant thoughts. Particularly unpleasant thoughts.

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Herr Joseph von Löthing
I thought that there was also a virus that wasn't sexually transmitted that could cause cervical cancer? At least, that's what people from random walks of life and the television have been telling me.

If it's only a STD, well, fuck the pap smear then. I don't want someone prodding my vagina to tell me that I don't have a disease that I already knew I couldn't catch in the first place.

The same virus can be contracted via physical contact with infected surfaces, IE changing room seats/toilet seats and anywhere else you might sit on naked. It's not as big a risk though.

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I thought that there was also a virus that wasn't sexually transmitted that could cause cervical cancer? At least, that's what people from random walks of life and the television have been telling me.

If it's only a STD, well, fuck the pap smear then. I don't want someone prodding my vagina to tell me that I don't have a disease that I already knew I couldn't catch in the first place.

The same virus can be contracted via physical contact with infected surfaces, IE changing room seats/toilet seats and anywhere else you might sit on naked. It's not as big a risk though.

Whoa... I am so happy that I've always been weird enough about germs to use multiple seat covers. :ph34r:

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There are rare cases of cervical cancer that aren't a result of the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). It's worth it to get a Pap smear every few years just in case.

The commercials on TV and in magazines will try to convince you that if you get a vaccination for HPV, you will never get cervical cancer. They are commercials put out by drug companies who want to sell their stuff. They can't always be believed. Your doctor's a better source of info.

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If I were you, I'd get a new therapist. Obviously, she's not listening to you or taking you seriously.

I would, but it's not worth it. I'm only seeing her so I can get a letter saying I'm mentally healthy enough to get a surgery I need anyways, so it's not like I really care if she's taking me seriously so long as I get the letter. Changing therapists is a hassle and, in my experience, most people feel the same way.

It's just so annoying that it's an accepted "truth" that everyone will have sex. If I weren't in a long term, monogamous relationship with another asexual- maybe I could understand it. But we aren't even planning on having sex to have a kid. <_<

The same virus can be contracted via physical contact with infected surfaces, IE changing room seats/toilet seats and anywhere else you might sit on naked. It's not as big a risk though.

Who sits on changing room seats naked? I mean- I'm sure some people do, but I don't even take off my underwear to try on swimsuits.

I might get a test.... if I feel up to it... I really should, but it just sounds so owie.

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I don't even take off my underwear to try on swimsuits.

Good, you're not supposed to! They usually even have signs warning against that!

I might get a test.... if I feel up to it... I really should, but it just sounds so owie.

The test is beyond unpleasant. It hurts like I-don't-know what, and the doctor always gives me one of those "Oh, crap, this is going to be a challenge" looks when I tell her I've never been sexually active. I only make myself go every few years under the most extreme duress, just to be safe since any kind of cells can become cancerous, even if they aren't likely to.

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The same virus can be contracted via physical contact with infected surfaces, IE changing room seats/toilet seats and anywhere else you might sit on naked. It's not as big a risk though.

Hmm. The NP I saw last month told me it was untrue that you could get HPV from a toilet seat or changing room. She asserted that it was only via sexual contact.

HPV--Can you get HPV from a toilet seat?

Can We Catch HPV from Toilet Seats?

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