LonePiper Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I keep trying to tell myself I'm not a ZP fanboy (not least of all because I get the feeling Yahtzee would hate that, ironically making it all the more likely), but it's hard for me to believe that when I consistently find myself agreeing with absolutely everything Ben Croshaw says. This has been further demonstrated by this post from his personal website: On second thoughts, let's not call it being 'asexual'. That feels a wee bit pretentious. 'Celibate' will do. I can still see the appeal of emptying one's grubby little speed bag, I'm just lost on why it's so important that you catch the residue in another person's organic waste paper basket.But having made the decision to not pursue any of this sex business anymore I've discovered a strange new world I never knew existed. It's like I've eaten spam a few times from a few popular brands and in a few serving suggestions, and found I'm not really keen on spam, 'cos it's salty and slimy and looks like something you might find in the alien queen's litter box. But I've found myself in a world that's completely obsessed with spam. People spend their entire lives in pursuit of spam. Every single advert on TV sells their product by placing it alongside spam. Movies have to work in at least one spam scene to reach the broadest audience. People break up and get divorced because they don't exchange enough spam. Soldiers are given time out to go have some spam. Low-risk prisoners are given spam visiting rights. People die for spam. Entire economies have been based around spam. Selling spam is the world's oldest profession. The lack of spam has been linked to mental disorders. The only thing getting teenagers through difficult puberty is the thought of one day getting to have spam of their very own. And when I explain to people that I'm not that into spam they tell me I must be some kind of hopeless cissy girl, or that I just haven't found the right spam yet. It feels like when a theist says "I'll pray for you." Or when a parent of some hideous mewling womb dropping says "You'll understand when you have one of your own." Quite infuriating. It's just tinned meat, guys. But on the other hand, as a white middle-class anglo-saxon male between the ages of 18 and 35, it's fun to be in a minority for once. Finally I've got my very own thing I can get offended at. This must be why gay chaps always seem to be having such a good time. http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/ He really nailed it, didn't he? Bloody hell! I don't think anybody on this site has said it better. I've thought about emailing him a link to AVEN, but, you know, I'm not a fanboy. (His main claim to fame, however, if you didn't know, are his witty and cynical videogame reviews: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation) Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 An excellent quote. This man continues to grow on me like some disgusting parasite that I've befriended and called Barry. :P I've thought about emailing him a link to AVEN, but, you know, I'm not a fanboy. If not you, then someone should. Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 And thus I did. Link to post Share on other sites
LonePiper Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 Good stuff! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Beardless Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I've only watched a little ZP, but oh squee, actual famous person! Having constructed actual extended metaphor! Link to post Share on other sites
Inevitable Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Incidentally, this is a response to one of his earlier posts which I brought up here: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?showtopic=42116 Just for some background. Please don't reply to that thread, it's now officially outdated. Link to post Share on other sites
KeevaCaereni Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Ooooh, where did he say this exactly? I can't find it in his archives! *is totally Yahtzee fangirl* Link to post Share on other sites
The MoUsY spell-checker Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 His metaphor is a bit like the eyebrow metaphor in this article, is it not? Spot on though. Link to post Share on other sites
Inevitable Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Ooooh, where did he say this exactly? I can't find it in his archives! *is totally Yahtzee fangirl* 20/9/09 is that one. The first one is 5/7/09 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyxity Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Never heard of him, I don't get what you mean by Yahtzee, but... That was bloody fun to read. I loved it! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation Link to post Share on other sites
Kino Posted November 21, 2010 Share Posted November 21, 2010 Sorry to drudge up such an old thread, but he made another great post about asexuality/ aromanticism again: "And finally, a thought for the day: a 'relationship' occurs when two people run out of things to say to each other, so they shut each other up by putting their genitals in each other's mouths. A break up comes about when they run out of things to do with those, too. " A tad cynical, but definitely more than a hint there. Link to post Share on other sites
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