Jump to content

Any older asexuals who have never been married?


Guest Tabula Rasa

Recommended Posts

Guest Tabula Rasa

It seems to me that most older asexuals are/have been married. My guess is because it was the appropriate thing to do in previous generations.

Any who have not ever been married?

Link to post
Share on other sites

here!...67 and never married, AND never really had a bf!! I had this "wall" around me that the fellows never took the time to try to penetrate. Due to things that happened in childhood. (grade school)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Today social has made it VERY easy for people not to be in a committed relationship and that's why most people don't get married as much.

Late 30's and never married

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 52 and never married. I've only had one relationship that lasted more than a handful of dates (not the fruit! :lol:). I'm also very shy (less so now than when I was younger, but still...). Not good at meeting people or making friends in general. And enough of a loner that I often haven't tried very hard to meet people. I like hanging out at home, reading, working on hobbies, etc.

I wouldn't be surprised if the percentage of older asexuals who are married or were married at some point is not very different from the percentage of sexuals of the same age who are married or were married at some point.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 54 and never married. Also never had a girlfriend. Just one of those things that never happened.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 55 and have never been married. Like daveb, I was pretty shy when younger, and I was very insecure. These days I guess I just don't give a rat's butt anymore :P

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 48 and have never been married or in an established relationship. After much reflection, I think it's because I didn't recognize the signs when someone was interested in me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

mid 30's and never married ,but i would like to if i met a woman with similar values,but being asexual its unfortunately quite difficult. :rolleyes:

Link to post
Share on other sites

To be honest, I dream of marriage. I am a romantic and the boyfriend I live with right now is an animal lover from the country, and I've had some serious considerations for spending the rest of my life with him. I know that I'm young and something could always happen, but we have been through a lot of things together. I lived with him when he was with his abusive father and he's stuck with me through my darkest mental breakdowns. We're talking about renting a house when our lease is up. I would love to move out to the country and raise animals with him. Our apartment is already a zoo. D: 2 house rabbits, 3 turtles, countless fish, 4 sugar gliders, and we're currently watching his mom's dog. We have 4 small rooms and that's it lol.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 48 and never been married. However, I have been domestic partners with a woman. Actually ... still am ... but we are officially separated and in the process of getting a dissolution of our domestic partnership. If I had wanted to marry my domestic partner, I only had a small window in which to do it before California passed proposition 8 limiting marriages to opposite sex couples. I wasn't sure enough about my partner at that time to take the dive and marry her.

Cathy

Link to post
Share on other sites
It seems to me that most older asexuals are/have been married. My guess is because it was the appropriate thing to do in previous generations.

Any who have not ever been married?

I never married. Just turned 57. Still a virgin also.

Yes, there was some subtle pressure to marry when I was younger, but I have always been a stuburn boy so the pressure never worked. For the most part I am happy with my decision to never marry. I did think about it, but I also thought about how could I tell a future wife that if we got married there wouldn't be any sex? I could have not told her, but that would NOT have been fair. She would have needs that I could not fulfill. So staying single has been the right thing for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Asterion Orestes
I'm 52 and never married.

Same here. FWIW I've noticed recently on some non-A sites that there some others who list themselves the same way without any obvious reference to A-ness.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I'm in my early forties and have never been married. Had just one relationship which floundered, because at the time I didn't realise that I was actually asexual. In hindsight, I think I probably knew I was 'different' in my teens, but back then I had no idea what asexuality was!

I would like the companionship of a fellow asexual in my older years, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Maybe there's hope for me yet! :)

Isiscat

Link to post
Share on other sites
jay williams

I am 50 sumpin, and getting scarily close to the big 6.

Never married. Had a woman live with me for circa a year. She promised she would move on unless I got busy with the humping and bumping. The rest of the story is that she kept her promise.

Also had a great girlfriend and we had an awesome 6 months of sexfree courtship...and then my asexuality clashed with her horneality. End of that story.

I did try to do the sex thing, but it just had too little appeal for me. Telll me again, why do people like it? Oh....never mind!

Now my doctor has me taking some male hormone blocker for the health of my prostate gland, and...well...now let me tell you that "what goes down must come up" is a false statement.

I don't care what you ladies say, I think the existence of santa claus, the easter bunny, the virgin mary and asexual women are all figments of the imagination. An asexual man is just a loser when it comes to the fair sex. I have corresponded with and become friends with some women who claim to be asexual...and it appears that sex is the ultimate glue required for people to form and maintain a relationship.

I would like the companionship of a fellow asexual in my older years, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Maybe there's hope for me yet! :)

Isiscat

Link to post
Share on other sites
godsbabygirl
It seems to me that most older asexuals are/have been married. My guess is because it was the appropriate thing to do in previous generations.

Any who have not ever been married?

That would be me! 46 and never been married. I've never had any desire to get married and have kids. Being married means having to do the sexual thang...YUCK!

Link to post
Share on other sites
...and it appears that sex is the ultimate glue required for people to form and maintain a relationship.

If you go looking for dates at local meetings of 'Nymphomaniacs Anonymous', then this may be true. However, in general the situation is more complicated. Why do so many marriages fail so rapidly despite a great sex life? The answer may be that your statement is only half right - sex is a powerful impetus for forming a relationship, but not a great way to maintain one.

Given that any relationship involves compromise, it comes down to what the parties involved are willing to sacrifice to sustain the relationship. In my experience, even lovely hypersexual women are willing to sacrifice great sex if there are enough other benefits to keep the relationship alive (of course, my SOs may have engaged in recreational activities on the side that I wasn't aware of ... :rolleyes: )

So, I'm not quite as negative about the whole situation as you are. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

It sounds to me like you have never dated a real asexual, Jay.

We do exist, though -- honest!

-GB

Link to post
Share on other sites

42 and never been kissed!

Nor any of the stuff that can happen after kissin'...

If I ever write my memoirs, the title will be "I Don't Drink Coffee." That's how I answered a guy many years ago when he asked if I was interested in having some coffee sometime.

The sad part is that, although NOW understanding the intention, if asked again today, I would probably STILL answer that way. I can be reflexive that way. Cuz I still don't drink coffee! :twisted:

Link to post
Share on other sites
It sounds to me like you have never dated a real asexual, Jay.

We do exist, though -- honest!

-GB

You are right, I have never met (in person) an asexual woman, much less dated one. One reads accounts by asexuals here, and in such places as Ann Landers (or those ask-the-expert columnists), but I have never met an asexual. I have certainly met sexuals, and I have even met hypersexuals.

Nice to hear that asexuals exist. I suspect that asexuals participate very little in singles-seeking-singles venues.

Link to post
Share on other sites
It sounds to me like you have never dated a real asexual, Jay.

We do exist, though -- honest!

-GB

You are right, I have never even met (in person) an asexual woman. Oned reads accounts by asexuals here, and in such places as Ann Landers (or ask the expert columnists), but I have never met an asexual. I have certainly met sexuals, and I have met hypersexuals though.

Nice to hear that asexuals exist. I suspect that asexuals participate very little in singles seeking singles places.

Jay,

For me even knowing that other asexuals exist and being a memeber here on AVEN for 3 years, and knowing that the asexual women here are honest people and feel about sex the same way I do:

All that being accepted, I couldn't even try an asexual relationship, because my mind can't wrap around it.

I guess I am too old and have lived with this sooooo long, I can't get over the feeling that the other person will be wanting and expecting more from me than I can give. So I cannot be comfortable in an asexual relationship even though it would be a great thing.

I hope that younger asexuals can experience asexual relationships before their brains wrap around fears that don't exist.

Ziff

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ziffler,

Your post just explain why I'm ALWAYS going to be single. Most asexual or sexual men over 35 that i meet are set in their ways and won't give women like me a chance.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ziffler,

I keep trying to look for a relationship. For me, asexual relationship and relationship are one and the same. I do not even contemplate having sex with somebody. It is a silly idea to me. I have had sex, and I have tried sexual relationships, and I know it is not for me. It has been well over 20 years since I have had sex. But I still try to think that something is possible. It does seem like the impossible dream though.

I think it is a good thing that guys are posting here. I have seen a number of posts by women who say, in essence, that asexual men are scarce as hen's teeth. If women think that there is no such thing as an asexual man then women won't believe a man who says he is asexual and won't bother to look. The more that men post, the more the message gets out that asexual men exist in significant numbers.

Jay

It sounds to me like you have never dated a real asexual, Jay.

We do exist, though -- honest!

-GB

You are right, I have never even met (in person) an asexual woman. Oned reads accounts by asexuals here, and in such places as Ann Landers (or ask the expert columnists), but I have never met an asexual. I have certainly met sexuals, and I have met hypersexuals though.

Nice to hear that asexuals exist. I suspect that asexuals participate very little in singles seeking singles places.

Jay,

For me even knowing that other asexuals exist and being a memeber here on AVEN for 3 years, and knowing that the asexual women here are honest people and feel about sex the same way I do:

All that being accepted, I couldn't even try an asexual relationship, because my mind can't wrap around it.

I guess I am too old and have lived with this sooooo long, I can't get over the feeling that the other person will be wanting and expecting more from me than I can give. So I cannot be comfortable in an asexual relationship even though it would be a great thing.

I hope that younger asexuals can experience asexual relationships before their brains wrap around fears that don't exist.

Ziff

Link to post
Share on other sites

Newgirl,

I find it hard to believe that there are no eligible men over the age of 35

For me, my biggest problem is a lack of getting out there and interacting with the public. Too often I sit home and keep to myself. I used to think that meeting folks in cyberspace is a great way to go. But I think, chances are, that those we meet in cyberspace are also folks who are scared to go from cyberspace to reality.

A smart thing to do would be to join a club or a group with mutual interests. There are lots of political groups out there. Ecology, nature, collectors, churches and on and on. Years ago, I used to go to bars to meet women. A typical bar has vastly more men than women. It is true that you do not want a relationship with a drunk, nor should you go to bars if alcohol consumption is or will be a problem for you. But if we get out more we will see real people.

The above is what I preach. I need to practice what I preach myself. :)

Jay

Ziffler,

Your post just explain why I'm ALWAYS going to be single. Most asexual or sexual men over 35 that i meet are set in their ways and won't give women like me a chance.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Jay ,

Everytime i meet men over 35, the men had a bad experience with a woman and want no girlfriend/wife or these sexual men just want casual sex from me. No man over 35 wants to give me a chance so i now realize i'm force to be single. The more i meet men over 35,It's the same old tune. i don't want any commitment or attachment, i want to be alone, or i just want casual sex. Same old tune so why even bother to socialize with men anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Over 35 covers a huge age-range. In fact, I daresay it covers the majority of men.

Are you visiting men in the same pool, for example twice divorced country western musicians?

The singles ads in cyberspace strongly suggest that there are zillions of men looking for a relationship.

Of course, there are many married men looking too.

Sometimes if a woman (apparently) has nothing to offer except female sex organs, then the only thing a man would want from her is access to the only thing that she apparently has. What is the main objection that men have with you?

Jay

Jay ,

Everytime i meet men over 35, the men had a bad experience with a woman and want no girlfriend/wife or these sexual men just want casual sex from me. No man over 35 wants to give me a chance so i now realize i'm force to be single. The more i meet men over 35,It's the same old tune. i don't want any commitment or attachment, i want to be alone, or i just want casual sex. Same old tune so why even bother to socialize with men anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Jay,

I have something to offer men but it's not my fault that men want and see my breast and butt first(i wear jeans and shirt). Jay , I let men know I'm not interested in casual relationship or sex and that's when things go down hill . The men over 35 that i meet,these men just want me for casual sex or verbal emotional support without a girlfriend/wife commitment . I'm at the point now, most men over 35 are set in their ways so why even bother. All i hear from these men " i want to be alone" ," i just want casual sex or relationship so i don't have to be attach to a woman". What happen to long term committed relationship?What happen to men romancing or courting a woman? I guess it's dead and that's why I'm FORCED to be single.

P.S I meet men at work, public bus/train or online.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe the men you are not meeting, NewGirl, are like Jay and me. I don't get out and meet people. I do enjoy my alone time and time for hobbies and all. But I would also like a committed relationship (and definitely don't want sex, casual or formal :) ). I'm open to it (committed relationship), but not really actively seeking it. If it happens, great! If not, I'll continue to enjoy life as it comes. :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

daveb,

I'm just looking for a sexual or gray asexual man who's emotional available, romantic, wants a long term relationship, loyal, and respect me. Daveb when it comes to men, outercourse and intercourse , I can't find a man who fits in the middle(gray asexual man). I don't want a man who is OBSESS with sex but i don't want a man who is 100% not obsess with sex either. I want a man who is not afraid to hug,kiss,cuddle ,engage in outer course or intercourse. I don't feel the need to act out sexually right now but if I'm in a long term committed relationship. I want some type touching via outercourse or/and intercourse in my relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...