My mom has told me that my hatred of periods means I also hate being a woman.
In fact, I have such a hatred of periods, I 'd almost rather die then experience them. It's a quality of life issue.
My qualm with that is that ALL types of women hate periods, all throughout the spectrum even at those who love being girly and feminine and even having babies and what not. It's generally from varying degrees a very
unpleasant experience, so why would someone hating it automatically make them hate being a woman? It's like saying that you hate being human or hate being alive because you have to go through life doing bodily functions that keep you alive but otherwise serve no purpose and are potential nuances. That's just my take on it.
Next on my mind since the presence of periods always made me feel like a hunted animal. So from my experiences= periods= predotory..
I mean when I was subjected to periods, I felt alert for them to attack me. Does that mean feminity is about predatory responses?.
When I went on medication, it took a long time for me to become less alert...
It took a while to realize OK, I CAN MAKE plans...I don't have to think in my mind anymore, here's my healthy week and after that.. I dunno periods could strike at any moment and make me sick so I better not make any plans,I better stay home.
It was like an animal that knows a predator is lurking around and now the predator has been removed...BUT the critter is so used to being alert for the predator that the alertness continues. I would keep telling myself, the predator has been removed, YOUR"E SAFE"...You can turn off your instincts of feeling alert for the predator.
Other times, it felt like like being stalked with no safe place to go where the stalker could not follow.Periods were experienced as vectors of violence. Everywhere I would go, the stalker would follow and become violent and abusive towards me.
Like an abuser who wanted to ruin my life. Medication is the restraining order for the stalker to keep me safe.
So once again...I wonder is violence = feminity.
If periods are about feminity , then what?. Then feminitiy is about violence, being hunted , predatory issues, being disease prone, wasting time, being sendentary, then is being masculine about being safe, active, doing meaningful activities and being healthy?.
Oh well there you have it.
To a certain degree I think I understand what you mean there. To me, I see what you mean about the almost stalking, predatory feeling of periods because its like you're going life month thru month trying to almost enjoy when it's not going to be there. I, for example, hate making plans only to have my period show when I'm just about to go out with friends. I just can't cancel, but it's just there now and you know it's presence is just going to ruin your day, maybe even entire week.
Periods to me, I hate them with a passion. Sure, I do want to have kids in the future but I do feel a bit of irrationality for having to suffer for it... thirty odd years? Just for nine months of your life to carry a baby some women might not even want to have? I swear the whole pregnancy should have an on/off switch if it went my way but I digress.
I just don't see why, while embracing your feminimity (spl?), a girl just can't plain hate her period. Being frank, depending on the degrees of which a girl may have suffered from it (me myself being on the higher end of the pain spectrum), it's just plain terrible! You feel safe for about a few weeks until you realize man, it's probably going to come soon. Sometimes you're prepared, sometimes it's late, or worse case scenario it sneaks up on you and now you have a potential wardrobe malfunction. You always have to be armed with pads or tampons no matter what or feel paranoid it's coming after you, not wear any bright colored pants when "it's" coming or already here, and then sometimes you get those horrible cramps that make you feel nausceous before the darn thing has even started, to the point of missing out on schoo/work/fun ect. due to the pain and like in my case, nothing short of serious painkillers do anything for you. (Midol or Pamprin just aint cutting it
) And then once it actually does start, you walk around worrying constantly about leaks or anything, worrying you reek of blood, worrying people just know because now your angry and emotional despite how you're trying not to 'act-like-you're-on-your-period.) Finally, anywhere from three days to a week of heavy bleeding and ruined underwear later, you finally feel safe... for about another two or three weeks. Although you're never 'totally' safe, because the female body is a crazy one and the one day you forget to carry an extra pad in your purse... it'll be back. Oh, it'll be back alright. With a vengance. Multiply this times twelve months and how many years until you hit like fourty-five, and it sounds like a down right horror story.
So yeah, I think if anything we should be allowed the satisfaction of hating it, since there isn't jack else we can do about it (well besides those who're on the pill and stuff, I'm actually kind of scared to take it 1. because asking my mom to get on birth-control would be the equivilant to me telling her "hey, I'm gonna go have sex now." when in all reality I feel sex is vile and 2. because I get scared that in anyway altering or stopping my period will screw my body up. It probably won't, but I'm a scary person in reality.)
I think that's it now... sorry about my unintentionally-long horror story-esque rant.