Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

ChaliceFlame

Periods and being feminine.

59 posts in this topic

Ok, this one always had me wondering. Some people like periods because it makes them feel feminine?.

If they don't have periods, they don't feel feminine anymore so they want to keep them. Anyone like that here?. I'll try not to put you down if you are the period lovin' type.

My mom has told me that my hatred of periods means I also hate being a woman.

In fact, I have such a hatred of periods, I 'd almost rather die then experience them. It's a quality of life issue.

In my mind, I'm going periods+ immune system surpression+ violence+ disease= feminity?.

Of course like any other gender issues, I had trouble wrapping my mind around this one.

So....end result is that getting sick is being feminine?.

I recall the time blocks that periods took away from other activities and what waste of time it was. I kept thinking about how meaningless this activity was. And how sitting around feeling sick wasn't terribly compatible with my other life goals, besides sitting on the internet and watching TV.

I recall just wishing time would pass quickly. So then, feminity is about wasting time, being sendentary and a loss of meaning?.

Next on my mind since the presence of periods always made me feel like a hunted animal. So from my experiences= periods= predotory..

I mean when I was subjected to periods, I felt alert for them to attack me. Does that mean feminity is about predatory responses?.

When I went on medication, it took a long time for me to become less alert...

It took a while to realize OK, I CAN MAKE plans...I don't have to think in my mind anymore, here's my healthy week and after that.. I dunno periods could strike at any moment and make me sick so I better not make any plans,I better stay home.

It was like an animal that knows a predator is lurking around and now the predator has been removed...BUT the critter is so used to being alert for the predator that the alertness continues. I would keep telling myself, the predator has been removed, YOUR"E SAFE"...You can turn off your instincts of feeling alert for the predator.

Other times, it felt like like being stalked with no safe place to go where the stalker could not follow.Periods were experienced as vectors of violence. Everywhere I would go, the stalker would follow and become violent and abusive towards me.

Like an abuser who wanted to ruin my life. Medication is the restraining order for the stalker to keep me safe.

So once again...I wonder is violence = feminity.

If periods are about feminity , then what?. Then feminitiy is about violence, being hunted , predatory issues, being disease prone, wasting time, being sendentary, then is being masculine about being safe, active, doing meaningful activities and being healthy?.

Oh well there you have it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know why your mother thinks that since you hate having your period means you hate being a woman... I don't know any woman who likes having her period. It's a nuissance. You need to drive to the pharmacy & buy a package of "feminine products" which set you back four bucks, then you feel ill for the rest of the week, and things annoy you more than they usually do, and you need to get out of bed and get ready for work, even though you feel like crap... why would anyone like this condition?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who the heck is your mom to define what being a woman means to you?

I think blood and pain and stoic suffering could be seen as masculine. Maybe you're just really, really feminine and therefore don't want to become a grunting, bleeding brute every month. (Holy cow, I am suddenly much happier about the prospect of getting my period.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Who the heck is your mom to define what being a woman means to you?

Agreed.

I totally feel the same way, as far as being disgusted by periods. My hatred of anything of that nature is incredibly extreme... I was very happy when, as a result of my anorexia, I had no period whatsoever between the ages of 16 and 22. (I now have severe osteoporosis, but even that seems better than periods... :mellow:) At 24, they're still very irregular, despite the fact that I weigh around double what I did at my thinnest. I'm still dealing with the eating disorder, and my weight goes up and down -- and to be honest, the loss of my period is about as great a motivation factor for losing weight as the fact that I feel more comfortable with myself when I'm underweight.

I also have no gender issues, in that I'm fine with the fact that I'm a female. I don't want to be a guy, I don't want to look genderless... I just can't stand things that are supposed to make a woman a woman -- breasts, hips, curves, monthly umm cycles (ewww I can't even write it...), pregnancy -- it all repulses me to a great extreme. Which is, I guess, why it ties in with the eating issues. I want to look like a female... just a pre-pubescent one. :mellow:

Anyway, sorry for rambling about myself; I'm not sure if I'm making much sense. And I'm definitely not suggesting you have the 'issues' I do. I can just relate to the feelings of disgust and hatred, A LOT, and I'd be very happy to be rid of all that nonsense forever. But yeah... I agree that it doesn't make you any less of a female. Women are all different. If there are certain parts about being females that we hate, that doesn't make us 'bad' at being women, or mean that we'd rather be guys. (And as far as the relation to violence, being hunted, etc... well, I can see where you're coming from, I guess. I'm not sure what my own feelings are on that, yet... :unsure:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not true. I never really like having mine, but I do like being a female.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Meh, I think it's all about personal perception, not to mention a bit of a generational thing as well.

My grandmother was beside herself when I had my breast reduction. Why on earth would I want to do that? I should celebrate my breasts as part of being a woman. If that's all that makes you a woman, then I know some small cupped ladies who are in bad shape ;) It's so much more then any one thing, menstruation included.

That's fine, she can go celebrate her own breasts, I celebrated when I could play pool unimpeded again... :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Periods to me have to be THE most unfeminine thing ever. If theres anything to make you feel un frilly, girly, lala its a period <_<

I took the pill for a few years so never really paid them much mind, but now im off it my hormone levels are all over the place and I get so angry all the time, plus all those painful physcial symptoms :( Also my random bouts of faux-depression keep coming on, something that happened alot pre-pill and then stopped once on it.

Im going back on once I can get to the docs and plan on taking it continuously. Well, once ive done more research...

I want to look like a female... just a pre-pubescent one. :mellow:

:blink: Dude, I relate.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can sort of see where that sort of thinking comes from, for people whose periods aren't too bad--it's physical sign your body gives that you're a healthy, adult female. I know for some sexually active women it's also a relief in that it means they're not pregnant.

Personally, I also had heavy, long periods accompanies with cramping--and for a couple years, I couldn't even take most painkillers because of medication I was on--so when I went on birth control and they stopped completely, I was thrilled. One tiny pill every morning, and an entire month's worth comes in a tiny packet I can put in my *pocket* if I need to go somewhere overnight! No more carrying stuff around with me all day to do maintenance every few hours, or getting caught 'unprepared' anywhere... just one little pill, and if I miss it, I take it later.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I can sort of see where that sort of thinking comes from, for people whose periods aren't too bad--it's physical sign your body gives that you're a healthy, adult female. I know for some sexually active women it's also a relief in that it means they're not pregnant.

Personally, I also had heavy, long periods accompanies with cramping--and for a couple years, I couldn't even take most painkillers because of medication I was on--so when I went on birth control and they stopped completely, I was thrilled. One tiny pill every morning, and an entire month's worth comes in a tiny packet I can put in my *pocket* if I need to go somewhere overnight! No more carrying stuff around with me all day to do maintenance every few hours, or getting caught 'unprepared' anywhere... just one little pill, and if I miss it, I take it later.

*raises a glass to the pill*

:lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know I'm pretty lucky in that my periods don't come with any complications - the main problem I have with them is that I usually end up ruining some underwear each month. I tend to be pretty happy as my period has arrived, as I tend to be quite depressed beforehand. It gives me a reason why I was gloom.

I don't see how periods make you feminine - like our sexual organs, we are conditioned to hide the fact it's that "time of the month". For many people, your period means you can't behave like you usually do. And given people tend to try to do things that they like, periods mean pausing doing what you like.

Submitting to an outside force is very feminine... ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Due to my intersex condition, I was given a choice to take hormones and go through puberty. So far, I have not, because I just don't want to menstruate. As if I didn't have enough problems without having to worry about a bleeding vagina every month. Mind you, I can never have children so I have no reason to menstruate in the first place. If that makes me unfeminine, then I welcome that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd rather not have periods too. But I don't mind looking feminine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Periods don't make me feel feminine, I do like them though. I like that this is an experience I share with women around the world, and I hate the way that girls are made to feel ashamed or dirty about periods. I don't see how they're disgusting really, but then I am a bit of a feminist health nut and think hating your period is part of the over sanitised patriarchal culture we are forced to live in and as such is BULLSHIT.

However if you are experienceing a lot of pain with your periods I think you shuld speak to your GP and get a hormone based pill to help relieve it a bit. I also heear that magnet based natural remedies can be pretty effective.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Due to my intersex condition, I was given a choice to take hormones and go through puberty. So far, I have not, because I just don't want to menstruate. As if I didn't have enough problems without having to worry about a bleeding vagina every month. Mind you, I can never have children so I have no reason to menstruate in the first place. If that makes me unfeminine, then I welcome that.
You have no idea how envious I feel reading that.

I don't know anybody who likes their period. And they all seem pretty certain and content with their identity as female.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I HATE having periods. I was talking about this to my friends tonight actually - if I could magically never have another one ever, I would be soooo happy. I don't want children, so they seem so useless, and definitely don't make me feel feminine. They make me feel disgusting and/or unhygienic and/or grumpy, which to me is not feminine. I've heard people say that they would feel weird if they didn't have periods, but it's usually more to do with the regularity of like the cycle of your body (can't word that right) than with it making you feel female at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think blood and pain and stoic suffering could be seen as masculine. Maybe you're just really, really feminine and therefore don't want to become a grunting, bleeding brute every month.

LOL... I used to joke when I was younger that my periods turned me into a man, because they'd always make me want a steak and a beer (I guess that makes sense, though... iron depletion + pain and all that).

when I went on birth control and they stopped completely, I was thrilled.

What kind are you taking?? :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate my period. I have to take painkillers just to be able to stand up for a full 36 hours. Plus I get bloated really bad, plus the pointless depression (and sometimes short fuse) that comes along with it.

I am mixed on the whole feminine thing. I like to dress quite girlie occasionally...lots of times androngynous...I'm a bit all over the place on if I feel more like a girl or a guy. But no matter what...I STILL hate my period.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am one of the very lucky girls whose period doesn't bother them that much! (You can start hating me now :D ). I do get cramps at the beginning of my period, but one little painkiller in the morning and I'm fine for the rest of the day. I remember that the first tampon I ever used was absolute agony (Does that mean my hymen's broken? :huh: ) but I quickly got used to them, so the actual event isn't hard to manage. I'd prefer not to have them, but they don't really disrupt my life at all. I've had a few holidays coincide with my period and it didn't wreck 'em at all.

I like that I share something with every other woman in the world. They don't make me feel any more or less feminine as I see femininity as something I control - I can decide how feminine I want to be that day when I get up in the morning, and dress accordingly. I don't get grumpy, either!

Sometimes I do complain about them though, given that I never want kids so there's no real reason for me to have periods at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always compared it to sex. Something unpleasant that I didn't like but felt pretty powerless over.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If your period is so painful that all you can do is sit, you should probably see a doctor and get checked out. If you already have, feel free to ignore this (well, you can ignore it either way, but thought I would just mention the possibility).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Some people like periods because it makes them feel feminine?.

If they don't have periods, they don't feel feminine anymore so they want to keep them. Anyone like that here?

I have met middle-aged women who do mourn the loss of their periods. They said it's like saying good-bye to their youth.

However, I've never heard a woman say that her period makes her feel "feminine." Grumpy, cracky, unable to participate in many activities, sick to her stomach, and annoyed - yes! Feminine, though? Never!

I guess I don't hate mine at this point, but I certainly don't enjoy it, either. In a perfect world, I would rather not have it, but this world is far from perfect. :(

Of course, my mom says that, by not having kids, I'll probably hit menopause faster. I hope! My poor mom menstruated for something like 42 years before she stopped!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Who the heck is your mom to define what being a woman means to you?

Exactly.

Why would you have to like your periods to feel feminine?

Do you think all men like waking up to find they had a wet dream or getting unexpected erections in public? Of course not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heh, moving on a side road away from the period thing, I know women who think you're unfeminine if you don't want to have a baby. That's just as bad in my opinion!

Okay, so you get a reward at the end (if you consider babies a reward, I personally don't) but I can't imagine several hours of diabolical pain, injections, bleeding, weeing and pooping and then having your vagina tear / stomach cut open would ever be the ultimate feminine experience. Not to mention the pregnancy itself. But some women will insist it's the most magical time of their life, as they huff and wheeze and waddle towards you. Magical maybe, rewarding possibly, feminine hell no.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
when I went on birth control and they stopped completely, I was thrilled.

What kind are you taking?? :o

My sister takes a pill for her acne and she only gets her period when she wants. If she takes her pill everyday she won't get them but her pills also include sugar pills for if she wants to get her period (for some reason - my sis usually does it to check that everything is working properly).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Periods don't make me feel feminine, I do like them though. I like that this is an experience I share with women around the world, and I hate the way that girls are made to feel ashamed or dirty about periods. I don't see how they're disgusting really, but then I am a bit of a feminist health nut and think hating your period is part of the over sanitised patriarchal culture we are forced to live in and as such is BULLSHIT.

However if you are experienceing a lot of pain with your periods I think you shuld speak to your GP and get a hormone based pill to help relieve it a bit. I also heear that magnet based natural remedies can be pretty effective.

I have to admit this is the only post in this thread I really relate to. Yes my periods are sometimes painful, yes they can get a bit messy, yes they have a habit of turning up at awkward times (menstruating at a festival = complicated :lol:), but I'm a woman, and periods are part of that. I'm not ashamed of the fact that my uterus sheds every month (as it's trying to do right now, and quite painfully at that), and I get really wound up when women and girls are made to feel like it's dirty or shameful to menstruate.

As for them making me feel feminine, I suppose they do, insofar as there's nothing like a period to bring it home, on quite a powerful level, that I'm a woman and everything that entails. It reminds me that, should I ever choose to, I'm capable of carrying a child and giving birth to a completely new human being and, seeing as I'm coming up to the sort of point in my life where I'm going to be thinking about that within, say, ten years, that's a very powerful notion for me now. I may have some serious problems with gender roles and expectations, but I am actually proud to be biologically female, and I embrace everything that comes with having a female body, good and not so good.

I also echo what other people have said - if your periods are interfering with your life to that extent, there are things that can be done. I occasionally have very, very heavy periods that last for over a week, and I've got medication to take when that happens. As for really excruciating period pain, I've never met a doctor that won't prescribe suitably hefty pain relief for painful periods, and the same goes for nausea/sickness and all of the other problems associated with menstruation. If they're extreme and interfering with your life, a good doctor will prescribe whatever medication is necessary to deal with them. So please, please go see a doctor. And if that doctor won't help you, go see another one!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My periods are light, but I still would happily ditch them. I know there are women who love their periods because it proves there feminine, because obviously having a vagina wasn't enough. :rolleyes:

Really, I think its foolish to define one's gender on a few physical characteristics alone. And while I don't want to hate on the women that love their periods or anything, I seriously have to wonder why vaginal bleeding should be so glorified, and not say, runny noses.

I don't find periods to be impure, just obnoxious. I hate periods for the same and precise reason I hate explosive diarrhea and snot running down my face--I hate having uncontrollable body fluids. I don't like the sensation of constantly leaking. Why we should sing the praises of vaginal bleeding, and yet slather on deodorant to stop the equally natural function of sweating is beyond me. It strikes me as hypocritical. So long as both sexes share the same annoying body leakages, its okay to try and get rid of it. However, if it only happens to one gender, this leakage is then supposed to be treasured and revered. <_<

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Really, I think its foolish to define one's gender on a few physical characteristics alone. And while I don't want to hate on the women that love their periods or anything, I seriously have to wonder why vaginal bleeding should be so glorified, and not say, runny noses.

I don't find periods to be impure, just obnoxious. I hate periods for the same and precise reason I hate explosive diarrhea and snot running down my face--I hate having uncontrollable body fluids. I don't like the sensation of constantly leaking. Why we should sing the praises of vaginal bleeding, and yet slather on deodorant to stop the equally natural function of sweating is beyond me. It strikes me as hypocritical. So long as both sexes share the same annoying body leakages, its okay to try and get rid of it. However, if it only happens to one gender, this leakage is then supposed to be treasured and revered. <_<

Hear, hear! :lol: :cake: :cake: The same thing seems to happen with male leakages, too... we've had at least one thread here about spam emails selling products to increase the amount. :blink: IIRC, my response was similar to yours...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My periods are light, but I still would happily ditch them. I know there are women who love their periods because it proves there feminine, because obviously having a vagina wasn't enough. :rolleyes:

Really, I think its foolish to define one's gender on a few physical characteristics alone. And while I don't want to hate on the women that love their periods or anything, I seriously have to wonder why vaginal bleeding should be so glorified, and not say, runny noses.

Just to clarify my previous post, I find periods quite a powerful reminder of my sex, not my gender. They don't make me feel feminine, but the do make me feel female ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Periods are like a rude awakening sometimes. Personally I feel rather androgynous, so when my period comes around and reminds me that I am (supposed to be) a fully female baby-making machine, it's kind of an insult. I am fully female of course, but I don't embrace my own feminine side too often.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They're inconvenient, painful and messy.

I actually tend to stall them for as long as I can and just keep taking the yellow pills until I inevitably get a "breakthrough bleed" and start spotting. I can usually go two or three months, though.

P.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.