Why won't people let boys where dresses/skirts?

[Cupcake_Master]

I don't see a problem with it. It's just an article of clothing. Same with pink stuff, it's just a color.

Action figures are dolls, yet people won't let their sons play with dolls, or stuffed animals(after a certain age).

I'd let my son wear a dress, or skirt, if he wanted. People let girls wear pants?

[daveb]

no argument here :D

I think that as long as women are not truly considered equal to men some people will have problems with the types of things you described. Equality for women is important for everyone!

I think it would even be cool if we broguht back some of the men's fashions from older times (thinking in terms of centuries - some of the old military uniforms of the 18th and 19th centuries were very colorful and full of adornments, just to mention one example.)

[M.H.]

i don't know about all families in general, but my mom was perfectly fine with my one little brother having baby dolls (just like she had no problem with me having cars), and my little brother is 9 yrs old and he still has a million stuffed animals and my mom has no problem with them. I think that my mom is pretty open when it comes to toys.

There was also the case of me and my mom dressing both my little brothers up in "girl's clothes" on a couple of occasions when they were little...but that was for fun. I know if my mom would be so open to the idea now...though we my little brother decided for about 20 min while we were in wal-mart that he wanted to be a girl, my mom simply told him that he could ask his daddy to buy him the pretty bra :lol:

A lot of guys will go ahead and wear pink now, so i think that that one has at least to a certain extent lost its power.

I really don't see any problem with guys wearing skirts or dresses, but small individual views only go so far when facing society as a whole -_-

[Cupcake_Master]

I think it would even be cool if we broguht back some of the men's fashions from older times (thinking in terms of centuries - some of the old military uniforms of the 18th and 19th centuries were very colorful and full of adornments, just to mention one example.)

Yea, unbreeched boys were adorable! Pink used to be for boys, and blue for girls, too. Though, I would like if both colors were considered gender neutral.

*sigh*

[M.H.]

blue isn't gender neutral? I thought that that color had lost it's gendered position

[Shockwave]

I see men wearing kilts around here all the time. Not quite the same but still...

[Kelly]

I was in Samoa earlier this month, and took this pic of schoolkids on their way home. All boys and girls wear skirts to school. The colors depend on the particular school.

[sakura_alice]

I think these guys in skirts are hot.

Miyavi in a skirt

Gothic boy in skirt

I looked on google for more, but others weren't as impressive. So...maybe it's just these two pictures that I find cool, lol.

Oh yeah, wait! Hey Arnold! Not that I think he's "hot", lol, but it looks good on him. Hey Arnold! They even comment about it in an episode or two. "Why do you wear a skirt?" "It's not a skirt, it's a 'kilt'"

This one family I babysat for, their little boy wanted to paint his fingernails, and I thought it would be funny (harmless fun and all that) and wanted to do it, so asked his mom for permission, but the dad said, "absolutely not!" <_< party pooper, lol

[Oka-sama]

I don't know, There isn't really a reason why they can't. But...

I have no idea why, but I do find men that wear very feminine things creepy...But not women wearing masculine things. I just can't get over it...

Sorry if I offended anyone, you can go ahead and wear whatever you like.

[sakura_alice]

I forgot about Zoog from Angelspit!

Zoog!

And...I want to post the music video of Miyavi wearing the skirt ^^; pv link

[Cupcake_Master]

blue isn't gender neutral? I thought that that color had lost it's gendered position

By that, I meant, blue is gender neutral, but pink is considered feminine.

[AVENCakes]

Sorry if I offended anyone, you can go ahead and wear whatever you like.

The problem isn't people finding it creepy, the problem is people saying "I find it creepy, so don't you dare do it!". You're allowed your own preferences, what matters is that you let other people have theirs.

[Vampireseal]

I remember in Aiken, S. Carolina, (the town I grew up in), the local police had a charity pageant in which the men dressed up as women.

Most people thought it was harmless fun, but inevitably some people wrote the local newspaper that these men were promoting moral corruption by violating the Biblical law against men wearing women's clothing. <_<

Geez, lighten up people.

I don't give a rip if boys wear dresses or girls wear pantsuits. It's just fabric, folks, nothing more. In fact, I think girls look cute in tuxedos! And guys can look really cute in dresses, too.

[GirlInside]

I don't see a problem with it. It's just an article of clothing. Same with pink stuff, it's just a color.

Action figures are dolls, yet people won't let their sons play with dolls, or stuffed animals(after a certain age).

It's called male culture. People want boys to learn how to behave properly as a man, even if only so the boy can get along in the male world and marry a woman. Not that I agree with it, but that's how it is.

I'd let my son wear a dress, or skirt, if he wanted. People let girls wear pants?

I hope you don't mean you'd let your son wear a dress in public. He would be bullied for wearing such feminine clothing, and he could get badly hurt. To compromise the safety of your child for any reason is irresponsible. In addition, it could seriously put a damper on his social life.

I say this as a 25-year-old biological male who plays with baby dolls and Disney Princess toys, watches cartoons for little girls, and reads books starring teenage girls. I am completely in the closet about this (except to close friends).

[AVENCakes]

I hope you don't mean you'd let your son wear a dress in public. He would be bullied for wearing such feminine clothing, and he could get badly hurt. To compromise the safety of your child for any reason is irresponsible. In addition, it could seriously put a damper on his social life.

I'm going to let any child of mine wear whatever the fuck they want, and I'm going to make damn sure that they're safe at the same time. To assume that wearing pants will keep your child safe is far more negligent than allowing personal expression. My partner had a brick thrown at their head, and that was while dressing fully male and not doing anything wrong, skirts weren't involved there and yet they were still badly hurt. Clearly conforming to social standards is not the bullet-proof vest you want to pretend it is.

The fact is that a kid is likely to get beat up because they want to wear a skirt simply because they act different than they're supposed to, the skirt will aggravate it but it's not the cause. Kids zero in on differences and weaknesses and pounce. The solution isn't to teach a child that boys have to be manly, so act like it- the solution is to find a better solution to make sure they're safe at all times, like you should be doing anyways.

[AllyCat]

I hope you don't mean you'd let your son wear a dress in public. He would be bullied for wearing such feminine clothing, and he could get badly hurt. To compromise the safety of your child for any reason is irresponsible. In addition, it could seriously put a damper on his social life.

I'm going to let any child of mine wear whatever the fuck they want, and I'm going to make damn sure that they're safe at the same time. To assume that wearing pants will keep your child safe is far more negligent than allowing personal expression. My partner had a brick thrown at their head, and that was while dressing fully male and not doing anything wrong, skirts weren't involved there and yet they were still badly hurt. Clearly conforming to social standards is not the bullet-proof vest you want to pretend it is.

The fact is that a kid is likely to get beat up because they want to wear a skirt simply because they act different than they're supposed to, the skirt will aggravate it but it's not the cause. Kids zero in on differences and weaknesses and pounce. The solution isn't to teach a child that boys have to be manly, so act like it- the solution is to find a better solution to make sure they're safe at all times, like you should be doing anyways.

Yes, this! Also, the idea that you should bully your child into performing traditional masculinity before somebody else bullies them into performing traditional masculinity strikes me as pretty perverse.

[C.nick]

Oh yeah, wait! Hey Arnold! Not that I think he's "hot", lol, but it looks good on him. Hey Arnold! They even comment about it in an episode or two. "Why do you wear a skirt?" "It's not a skirt, it's a 'kilt'"

Well, Arnold was not actually wearing a skirt or kilt, it was his shirt tails sticking out of his sweater.

[Astryda]

People're ok with girls wearing pants because in XIX Century due to social changes feminsts begun to fight for women's rights. Still, a male was seen as dominating gender, so it was rather seen as 'woman improvement' (they were also allowed to participate in sport games etc.) to equal or almost equal to man (because wearing pants, practising sports etc. were men's privilages and when women were allowed to do it, they were seen as woman with more rights, thus something more than just a woman). For that reason (that women were 'improved' but still 'worse' than males) noone fights for men's right to wear skirts/dresses, because 'true men don't wear them', and if someone would request it, they would be seen as someone who isn't worth to be a male, because he would be 'downgraded' to female gender and noone wants to be seen as someone worse.

Besides, in Scotland men wear (or wore) skirts called kilts, and people laugh at them.

Why's all of that? Because males and females are equal only on a paper (in my country's case in a Constitution), but people's minds mostly haven't changed.

Regards

[C.nick]

Kilts are not skirts, they most likely evolved out of the belted plaid, which was masculine. No one I know laughs at people in kilts, they just laugh at what they wear under them.

[TheMuffinMan]

I probably wouldn't let my son wear a skirt, just because it's not pragmatic.

[AVENCakes]

I probably wouldn't let my son wear a skirt, just because it's not pragmatic.

I assume you also won't let your daughter, then. In which case it isn't an issue of gender equality- it's an issue of trying to pass personal fashion choices onto your children.

Yes, this! Also, the idea that you should bully your child into performing traditional masculinity before somebody else bullies them into performing traditional masculinity strikes me as pretty perverse.

It really is. I bet that's the main reasonw e have such rigid gender roles for men- fathers are convinced that if they don't toughen their kids up, then they're kid'll get hurt- so they force their children to conform to traditional masculinity rather than letting the child be themselves while ensuring they learn how to stand up for themselves.

Also, they're probably a bit scared that they (the fathers) will face the same bullying for having a feminine male child, so it's likely spurned more by their insecurities than fear for the child's safety.

[TheMuffinMan]

Well no, it's perfectly pragmatic for a girl to wear a skirt, because it's socially acceptable, and not likely to get them to be an outcast/cost them opportunities.

[AVENCakes]

Well no, it's perfectly pragmatic for a girl to wear a skirt, because it's socially acceptable, and not likely to get them to be an outcast/cost them opportunities.

What age range are you talking about for oppurtunities, exactly? 0-13, there aren't many oppurtunities in general- it shouldnt matter what they wear. As soon as they move out (let's say 18), you don't have any say in what they wear or do- but that's when they're going to have the most oppurtunities to risk. The teenage years are naturally rebellious stages, so telling them they can't do something isn't much of a deterrent- and, again, what oppurtunities is your average 14/15 year old going to miss out on by being themselves? 16 on, they might want a job and that's a concern- but there's a difference between never wearing a skirt and dressing nice for a job interview, then wearing whatever you want when you're at home. What social ostracizing will they face for wearing skirts at home, anyways?

Also, are you going to force your children to conform completely just so that they won't be outcasts, even if they'd be much happier alone as themselves than being popular with people who'll only accept them if they completely hide who they truly are? What kind of values are you teaching them? That it's better to be liked than happy? That it's better to conform, even if it makes you miserable? That being socially acceptable is worth completely repressing who you are?

And, no, I'm not taking this out of proportion. Iv'e seen a lot of guys have serious identity crises and other problems because they happen to like women's clothing or wanted to crossdress as a child and had to do it in secret because their parents would never allow it. How much happier would they be if they'd been taught that it's okay to like something different and there's nothing wrong with those desires?

[lynlaas]

I generally think dressing children in skirts is a bad idea, maybe on special occasions?

The reason why I think it's a bad thing, is that children needs the opportunity to run around and get dirty without having to worrying about if they do something their skirt might go up, and their underpants/stockings will be visible.

[TheMuffinMan]

Well no, it's perfectly pragmatic for a girl to wear a skirt, because it's socially acceptable, and not likely to get them to be an outcast/cost them opportunities.

What age range are you talking about for oppurtunities, exactly? 0-13, there aren't many oppurtunities in general- it shouldnt matter what they wear. As soon as they move out (let's say 18), you don't have any say in what they wear or do- but that's when they're going to have the most oppurtunities to risk. The teenage years are naturally rebellious stages, so telling them they can't do something isn't much of a deterrent- and, again, what oppurtunities is your average 14/15 year old going to miss out on by being themselves? 16 on, they might want a job and that's a concern- but there's a difference between never wearing a skirt and dressing nice for a job interview, then wearing whatever you want when you're at home. What social ostracizing will they face for wearing skirts at home, anyways?

Also, are you going to force your children to conform completely just so that they won't be outcasts, even if they'd be much happier alone as themselves than being popular with people who'll only accept them if they completely hide who they truly are? What kind of values are you teaching them? That it's better to be liked than happy? That it's better to conform, even if it makes you miserable? That being socially acceptable is worth completely repressing who you are?

And, no, I'm not taking this out of proportion. Iv'e seen a lot of guys have serious identity crises and other problems because they happen to like women's clothing or wanted to crossdress as a child and had to do it in secret because their parents would never allow it. How much happier would they be if they'd been taught that it's okay to like something different and there's nothing wrong with those desires?

I'm teaching them the value of ambition. Happiness is nothing compared to that.

[GirlInside]

I hope you don't mean you'd let your son wear a dress in public. He would be bullied for wearing such feminine clothing, and he could get badly hurt. To compromise the safety of your child for any reason is irresponsible. In addition, it could seriously put a damper on his social life.

I'm going to let any child of mine wear whatever the fuck they want, and I'm going to make damn sure that they're safe at the same time. To assume that wearing pants will keep your child safe is far more negligent than allowing personal expression. My partner had a brick thrown at their head, and that was while dressing fully male and not doing anything wrong, skirts weren't involved there and yet they were still badly hurt. Clearly conforming to social standards is not the bullet-proof vest you want to pretend it is.

Did I say it's a bullet-proof vest? No. But why make things harder over an article of clothing?

I think everyone's getting worked up over this because it's gender-related. There are no threads titled "Why can't businesspeople go to work in clown suits?" And for most people, a biological male in women's clothing is just as serious an offense. And since it's such a small thing, I'm not going to argue with society over it. Since women already accept me as "one of the girls" and I present as male, I see no need to step outside the rules of male clothing. (Besides, lots of genetic girls create quite a nice feminine look without using anything exclusively feminine.)

The fact is that a kid is likely to get beat up because they want to wear a skirt simply because they act different than they're supposed to, the skirt will aggravate it but it's not the cause. Kids zero in on differences and weaknesses and pounce. The solution isn't to teach a child that boys have to be manly, so act like it- the solution is to find a better solution to make sure they're safe at all times, like you should be doing anyways.

There's a big difference between wearing a skirt and acting feminine. If I had a son, I'd let him act feminine (and probably even encourage it), but I would teach him that the world will accept him better if he at least makes an effort to look normal; part of what people see when a person dresses strangely is the lack of effort to look normal.

Of course, all this is moot for me, because I'm only going to raise girls (even if I weren't adopting, there are ways to choose a baby's sex).

[daveb]

Some of the responses here have astounded me!

I grew up in the 60's with a father who was the typical macho male of the time. He teased me constantly because I was interested in art and "intellectual" things like reading! He also used the excuse that his teasing would make me tougher for when I went out into the "real world". Fortunately that was a long time ago and he has matured a bit since then. I still wouldn't care to tell him I would like to wear skirts though.

Another attitude that mystifies me is those people who say or imply you should try to pass as a girl or a woman if you're going to wear skirts or dresses. Why? Women wear jeans, trousers, and all sorts of menswear and menswear-inspired fashions with few, if any, people saying they should try to pass as men when they do that. There is nothing inherently "feminine" (whatever that is) about any article of clothing or personal adornment. Yes, most women's wear is cut to fit female proportions (even if they don't fit all or even most female proportions). But if they were cut for male proportions and sold in the men's section of a store you wouldn't be able to tell they weren't what a given culture considers menswear unless you had some knowledge of that culture. It has nothing to do with pragmatism or practicality. It has to do with social constructs meant to divide people by gender. Sure, in some situations skirts may not be the most practical garment to wear. On the other hand cultures where men do/did wear skirt-like garments didn't necessarily switch to trouser-like garments for some things.

As for keeping it hidden away, women didn't earn the option to wear trousers by hiding it away.

If I had the guts I would wear skirts openly. I have worn kilts (and even great plaids) on the rare occasion. I do wear my hair long and when I got my ears pierced back in the 80's I did both. None of this "which ear should I do", "which one means you're gay"? I have not had any problems because of either the long hair or the earrings. I got my current job with both intact and in place. The only time I remember any negative reaction was an old lady at my grandfather's retirement home about 12 or so years ago. And that was just a disapproving comment to her neighbor that I just happened to overhear.

I don't act feminine or call myself by female names or female pronouns when I'm wearing my hair long and have my earrings on, or even if I'm wearing some items bought from women's departments. I have only tried to "pass" a handful of times, just to see how good I could look. More often I'll mix and match, wearing a skirt and t-shirt around the house, or a nice lightweight cotton nightshirt to bed in the summer, for example.

I suspect more men would wear skirts occasionally if it were more socially acceptable. So many seem to jump at the chance when they can do it in a socially acceptable way, such as as a joke or a pay off a bet, as a costume for Halloween or other occasions, in entertainment, etc.

[Blerdivor]

It's not socially acceptable. There was a guy at my highschool who wore skirts, but he was transgender so I'm not sure if that counts.

[AVENCakes]

As for keeping it hidden away, women didn't earn the option to wear trousers by hiding it away.

If I had the guts I would wear skirts openly. I have worn kilts (and even great plaids) on the rare occasion. I do wear my hair long and when I got my ears pierced back in the 80's I did both. None of this "which ear should I do", "which one means you're gay"? I have not had any problems because of either the long hair or the earrings. I got my current job with both intact and in place. The only time I remember any negative reaction was an old lady at my grandfather's retirement home about 12 or so years ago. And that was just a disapproving comment to her neighbor that I just happened to overhear.

I have nothing to add to this, but QFT.

[KayleeSaeihr]

You'll never change anything if you keep conforming.