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Male Lesbians


Gatto

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Swap the word 'femininity' with 'masculinity' and I ask the same questions.

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  • 1 month later...
InfiniteConciousness

I wonder if male lesbains are transvestites. These are cisgendered people who get kicks out of cross dressing for the purposes of sexual pleasure. Some have said they like the female life role and I take that into account.

Just wondering as I'm a transwoman who once liked women in that way (now asexual) so in a very loose sense I might have been a male lesbian since I haven't transitioned. I still have aesthetic attraction to women and not guys and being hit on by guys creeps me out to no end.

For a transwoman cross dressing isnt really cross dressing. It's being you at least in my eyes.

Allso why are transwomen called perverts. Thats something I cannot understand since we identify as female and those who are out and can transtion now occupy a female body. Maybe its just a me thing but I cannot work that one out.

Heres a question directly for the male lesbians. Do you suffer from any gender dysphoria and do you have a mental idea of your female identity that is there permantly. If the answer is yes its fairly possible you are trans if not its fairly possible to be a male lesbian. I have worded this in such a way that I don't get nailed for telling people what they are.

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I haven't read all of the comments and if I do may contribute more.

My husband and I have talked about gender a lot and our own personalities, etc. and he has said that he is a lesbian in a man's body. That is what drew me to this thread.

He knows what clothes and jewelry he would wear if he had a woman's body, but has no desire to dress that way in his male body, no desire to transition, does not consider himself trans and he is repulsed by men. Sometimes he feels very feminine, other times masculine, often neither, but he's always content in his body, other than wanting to lose some weight, and has no desire to transition. Many of his preferences, behaviors, mannerisms, etc. would be considered stereotypically feminine while almost nothing about him is stereotypically masculine. When he was growing up many people thought he was gay due to his feminine qualities. He always had a thing for a certain type of woman and told me that he recently had the realization that he was drawn to them because on some level he wanted to be them. It was in this conversation that he reaffirmed his repulsion of men and then said he sometimes feels like a lesbian in a man's body.

Even before these conversations our friends would often say that I was the boyfriend and he was the girlfriend, just because of how we come across (I often feel much more masculine than feminine, but don't consider myself trans). Sometimes we tease each other as being of the opposite sex, other times he says "I'm not a lady" or something similar.

Reading the article excerpt really reminded me of him and our conversations.

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Now I've read through the thread (not every post, but most) and there are some comments asking how the types of people described in the article and otherwise identified by some as male lesbian can find a happy relationship. I don't think it's any more difficult than for anyone else to find the right person. My husband is not a "typical" male and I'm not a "typical" female and we just found each other through the normal course of life, no special effort required.

Some people theorized they may have the best luck getting relationships with bi or pansexual females. Others mentioned that some bi prefer the gender and sex to "match" so even they may not be a good fit. I think any relationship just takes two people that see and love each other for who they are and exact sex/gender identity/pairing/whatnot is not necessarily important. There are so many combinations and shades of all of this (sex, gender, orientation, etc. etc.) that in general I think it best to mostly just consider people individuals instead of trying to find a box or group for everyone. No matter how many categories and classifications we make, there will be people that just don't fit and other people that love them just the way they are. It can be helpful to know that there are other people out there that share some characteristics, but I think some people fall too easily into making that one characteristic account for far more of the individuals personhood than it really does.

It's late and I feel like I'm getting rambly... hope this isn't too ranty and nonsensical...

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I wonder if male lesbains are transvestites. These are cisgendered people who get kicks out of cross dressing for the purposes of sexual pleasure. Some have said they like the female life role and I take that into account.

Just wondering as I'm a transwoman who once liked women in that way (now asexual) so in a very loose sense I might have been a male lesbian since I haven't transitioned. I still have aesthetic attraction to women and not guys and being hit on by guys creeps me out to no end.

For a transwoman cross dressing isnt really cross dressing. It's being you at least in my eyes.

Allso why are transwomen called perverts. Thats something I cannot understand since we identify as female and those who are out and can transtion now occupy a female body. Maybe its just a me thing but I cannot work that one out.

Heres a question directly for the male lesbians. Do you suffer from any gender dysphoria and do you have a mental idea of your female identity that is there permantly. If the answer is yes its fairly possible you are trans if not its fairly possible to be a male lesbian. I have worded this in such a way that I don't get nailed for telling people what they are.

I am not going to say I'm typical of all Male Lesbians, but to answer your question, the answer is no, I have never felt the desire to crossdress. I think I have already explained my personal reasons why I self-describe as a Male Lesbian, but it goes far beyond an aesthetic attraction into something more emotional.

As for transwomen being called perverts, sadly I have heard this, and much worse besides. A good friend of mine is a transwomen who is at least five years post SRS, yet is sill called "that bloke in the dress" behind her back; on the more personal level is difficulties I face having a partner who is a FtM ...

Whether I experience gender dysphoria is a very difficult question to answer, and I suppose depends on how one defines it. If you mean to the extend where I wish to live full time as a women, and undergo steps towards transitioning, then the answer is no. However, if you mean in terms of if I had choice as to what gender I was born as, would I have chosen to been female, then the answer would be yes on both counts.

Now I've read through the thread (not every post, but most) and there are some comments asking how the types of people described in the article and otherwise identified by some as male lesbian can find a happy relationship. I don't think it's any more difficult than for anyone else to find the right person. My husband is not a "typical" male and I'm not a "typical" female and we just found each other through the normal course of life, no special effort required.

Some people theorized they may have the best luck getting relationships with bi or pansexual females. Others mentioned that some bi prefer the gender and sex to "match" so even they may not be a good fit. I think any relationship just takes two people that see and love each other for who they are and exact sex/gender identity/pairing/whatnot is not necessarily important. There are so many combinations and shades of all of this (sex, gender, orientation, etc. etc.) that in general I think it best to mostly just consider people individuals instead of trying to find a box or group for everyone. No matter how many categories and classifications we make, there will be people that just don't fit and other people that love them just the way they are. It can be helpful to know that there are other people out there that share some characteristics, but I think some people fall too easily into making that one characteristic account for far more of the individuals personhood than it really does.

It's late and I feel like I'm getting rambly... hope this isn't too ranty and nonsensical...

I find it personally ironic that I can agree with you on finding a relationships. Roughly this time last year, I was single, and feeling doomed to a life of being single. Now I am in my first significant relationship, which,like yours, just seemed to have happened with no real effort on either of our parts.

As you being rambly; not really, in fact, I would say you make a great deal of sense.

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carried in bags

I'm more androgynous then anything, by how i feel and how I dress. Out of all what I've read on gender androgynous seems to lable me best. I think I'd of prefered to of been born a girl, I think I could of been myself a lot more - especialy in my teen years. I would never try to pass off as a woman, or want to be called "she". People often say I'm femanine, flamboyant, "a gay straight"- which doesn't bother me ofcorse.

often talks about being a male lesbian, he is someone I identify strongly with. I have a strong romantic connection with females, but I very much like time with the lads. I'd hate to be stuck in a work or living setting with all boys or all girls! Morally I don't think there is much difference. I HATE how society secregate the sexes/gender. The media is full of it and it brainwashes the masses
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I haven't read all of the comments and if I do may contribute more.

My husband and I have talked about gender a lot and our own personalities, etc. and he has said that he is a lesbian in a man's body. That is what drew me to this thread.

He knows what clothes and jewelry he would wear if he had a woman's body, but has no desire to dress that way in his male body, no desire to transition, does not consider himself trans and he is repulsed by men. Sometimes he feels very feminine, other times masculine, often neither, but he's always content in his body, other than wanting to lose some weight, and has no desire to transition. Many of his preferences, behaviors, mannerisms, etc. would be considered stereotypically feminine while almost nothing about him is stereotypically masculine. When he was growing up many people thought he was gay due to his feminine qualities. He always had a thing for a certain type of woman and told me that he recently had the realization that he was drawn to them because on some level he wanted to be them. It was in this conversation that he reaffirmed his repulsion of men and then said he sometimes feels like a lesbian in a man's body.

Even before these conversations our friends would often say that I was the boyfriend and he was the girlfriend, just because of how we come across (I often feel much more masculine than feminine, but don't consider myself trans). Sometimes we tease each other as being of the opposite sex, other times he says "I'm not a lady" or something similar.

Reading the article excerpt really reminded me of him and our conversations.

Probably be most happy in that kind of relationship; me being the man-woman and he being the woman-man. ;)

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  • 1 month later...

I have a very hard time connecting with very feminine women but have a romantic connection with feminine males and other masculine girls. I identify as a boromantic ace for this, but I do wish I were a male and a gay male.

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Ditto Azul

Well... I didn't read all the posts, but I think that the difference between a MTF lesbian and a "Male Lesbian" is that a MTF lesbian identifies as female and the "Male Lesbian" identifies as a male that wishes to be in a lesbian relationship... That's how I feel :P

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Well... I didn't read all the posts, but I think that the difference between a MTF lesbian and a "Male Lesbian" is that a MTF lesbian identifies as female and the "Male Lesbian" identifies as a male that wishes to be in a lesbian relationship... That's how I feel :P

Naturally, its a lot more complicated than that, but in the essance of what you just said, you may well be correct.

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  • 2 months later...
7thNavigator

It's the first time I've seen the term male lesbian. The thread was very interesting to read.

I've a few times read in this thread that male lesbians are repulsed by other males, which I don't fully understand. It seems to be generally known that female lesbians have no trouble interacting with men, and vice versa, male gays seem to understand women pretty well. Likewise, straight men are not repulsed by other males in general, rather they're only repulsed by gay sex, or so I gather. So why would a (male) lesbian be repulsed by other males, if he felt like a lesbian woman? Or is companionship and emotional love and having sex perhaps being confused here? Or am I confusing things (would not be the first time in my life)?

Anyway, I've myself many times thought, that in my next life I'd like to be born as a female and be lesbian. Strange thing is, my mother has once told me she always wished she had a daughter, but I don't think this information has affected me. I know only that I don't behave like other men in the presence of women, although this might be linked to me being more like Demi than sexual.

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