Names

[Shinnok]

Maybe this is a late night rant or something. I swear I haven't posted a topic like this before but if I have I'm so sorry and feel free to delete it if it's too repetitive >___<

Ok well for anyone who's transgendered or identifies with some kind of gender that isn't their birth sex has probably started going by a different name than the one they were given. I see all these people just choose a name and be done with it. They don't really seem to have a hard time picking a name. Maybe they do but I haven't really seen too many people talk about it. I have been trying to choose a name for over a year!1 Lord there's just so many cool names out there to choose from I just don't know which one to pick. When I first came out as trans I chose the name "Edward" or "Eddie" for short. Yeah....to me that's too common of a name so I've been through about a ton of names since then. Right now I'm trying to choose over "Luis" or "Vincent". I have no idea which one would sound better.

Ok end rant. Is this a common dillema or is it just me?

Anyone else have this problem or heard of it being a common problem in non-binary gendered people? (that was the right way of saying it, right?)

[Min Farshaw]

I didn't really have that problem, but do understand. I mean, I went back and forth over quite a few names, but deep down already knew which one I wanted, simply because it had been a name I had loved for years (no idea why). I can imagine it would be very hard if that obvious choice wasn't there... I mean, it must be hard to feel like any name sounds natural if you haven't 'worn' it before.

[mad_scientist]

If you're really having trouble deciding, why not masculinise your birth name if possible? It'd make it much easier to get used to the name, wouldn't it?

[Min Farshaw]

That also has the side effect of making it easy for people to slip up 'by accident.'

[Astryda]

Most transgendered people I know just choose the opposite sex version of their name (like FtM- Christina to Christian) (in my language it's very easy, as most of male names become female if you add 'a' at their ends, or have more complex but obvious versions), or some just have their favourite names and use them.

I'm genderless and really dislike my name, yet I don't identify with it, that's why I made my nicknames myself (also signs in my username are there for ome reason, not to make it looking more 'childish' or whatever).

I like Vincent more but it's up to you to choose name. Maybe something in different language would be more adequade?

[mad_scientist]

That also has the side effect of making it easy for people to slip up 'by accident.'

Ah, didn't think about that. That would be quite annoying and probably lead to arguments.

[Lego M]

In high school and for a while afterwards I always referred to my male side as Seth, for two reasons - one, it starts with the same letter as my real first name does, and two, it's what I would have been named if I'd been born male.

I have issues with that name now though due to problems I have with a certain person named that, so I haven't thought of myself as Seth in quite a while. I've sorta switched to Chris recently; it's nice because it's neutral (Christopher, Christina) and I like the name anyways.

Who knows how long that'll last me though... I'm sure, given time, I'll get tired of it and want something new. That's just my personality though, I can't keep the same thing for too long or it gets old and stale to me.

[Elliott Ford]

It really isn't just you. I've changed my name SO MANY times it's quite silly - and that started before i knew i was trans. I've lived under literally dozens of names and i haven't lived under a single name at a time since i was about 12.. :)

Anyway, ultimately, the name you should have is the name that feels right to you. A name that you are happy to be known by and that you feel adequately represents you. I knew that my name truly WAS my name when i found myself calling myself that in my head.

[Lego M]

I knew that my name truly WAS my name when i found myself calling myself that in my head.

My name must be Lego then, because that's always how I refer to myself mentally! :lol:

I wouldn't mind being called that IRL though. I've always enjoyed it whenever I've spoken to internet friends in real life and they've called me that.

[Shinnok]

My mom said that if I was born a bio male she would've named me Andrew. Even if I was born a bio male I think I would've got my name changed because I really don't like the name Andrew. I don't really know why but yeah.

I haven't found a name that I call myself mentally. I'm gonna stick with Vincent for a while and see how that turns out. I've always wanted to try it but I never thought to try it til recently

[Kelly]

Vincent is a cool name. And you do seem like a Vinvent.

And one of my favorite peeps is a Vincent:

From Wiki, we see that "Vincent" is derived from the Latin name Vincentius meaning "conquering" (from Latin "vincere" - "to conquer").

[Shinnok]

Vincent Price x3 Good ol' actor from House of Wax

[Charlieee]

Oh I have a long history with the name "Charlie." It was originally an RP character of mine, before I realized I was trans, and over time I sort of adopted it and yeah.

If I had actually given thought to what name I'd have...... hm, I think I might have picked something else. But it's no matter, because I do like my name a lot.

If you have any close friends you would trust with this, can you ask them to call you by whatever name for a few days? See if you like it or not. Experiment.

[Kelly]

Good idea, Charlie.

And, will you pick "Charles" when you get a legal name change?

[Guest]

I've hated my birth name for my entire life. It's entirely too plain, and far too girly. I've been trying to decide on a nickname for years. About a year and a half ago, I was pretty sure I wanted to go by Andromeda, or Andi for short as a pretty androgynous name. In fact, my SO and his best friend call me that. But somehow when they call me Andi, it just doesn't feel right to me. So, recently I've decided to go by Mech, which is short for Mechanism Unknown (my username at a multitude of places), and which I feel far more comfortable with, and to which I am far more attached. Because it's not an actual name, I think it'd be hard for people to assign a gender to it. So far only my sister and a couple Starbucks baristas XD know this, but I hope it will be easier to fit into this "new me" once I move out and on my own.

Personally, my favorite nicknames are ones that aren't actually names. I know people "named" Zeek, Magic, Socks...

[oneofthesun]

If you're really having trouble deciding, why not masculinise your birth name if possible? It'd make it much easier to get used to the name, wouldn't it?

I started out by doing that, but I had to change it because even the masculinized version of my name started being used by women. Girls keep taking over boy's names, it's annoying!

[Charlieee]

Good idea, Charlie.

And, will you pick "Charles" when you get a legal name change?

Yep. Charles Robert Lastname. :)

Although, had I been born male, I would have been Aaron Ross, which is very nice yeah but it's not me.

[Fi_Loubet]

It took me a long time to decide upon the name Josephine; I went through trialling countless other names (including extremely abstract genderless names) that didn't quite feel right.

When you find the name that 'fits', you'll know. I'm planning to legally change my name (first and last too) in the near future.

[that_american_kid]

Good idea, Charlie.

And, will you pick "Charles" when you get a legal name change?

Yep. Charles Robert Lastname. :)

Although, had I been born male, I would have been Aaron Ross, which is very nice yeah but it's not me.

I love the name Charlie. It's always been one of my favorites. I actually know another trans guy named Charlie, by the way. And he's way cool, so I feel vindicated in liking the name. :)

Back when I thought I might be trans (I've decided I don't have a gender) I was going to call myself Jeremy, another name I've always liked. I'd figured on changing my last name, too, though I don't know why exactly, to a family name that got lost a couple generations back and then it would've been Jeremy Campbell, which I like the sound of.

I'll be done rambling after I mention the fact that I like the name Vincent, and the fact that it lends itself to nicknames should you want one or should a friend want to stick you with one.

[Charlieee]

I love the name Charlie. It's always been one of my favorites. I actually know another trans guy named Charlie, by the way. And he's way cool, so I feel vindicated in liking the name. :)

Awesome, haha.

[Shinnok]

The only nickname I can get from Vincent is Vinny or Vince

[SorryNotSorry]

Mine has nothing to do with transgender issues, but I hate my first & last name enough to want to get them legally changed... especially the last name, because poor readers think it's "Gross", which I only am when I'm eating (hmm, maybe my new last name can be "Belcher"?).

I was considering Clarence for a first name, but then settled on Zendon (Kurdish for "jail"). Will need to wait until one last financial issue from my late mother's estate is resolved before I can file, though.

[Guest]

If you're really having trouble deciding, why not masculinise your birth name if possible? It'd make it much easier to get used to the name, wouldn't it?

I started out by doing that, but I had to change it because even the masculinized version of my name started being used by women. Girls keep taking over boy's names, it's annoying!

Argh, I hate that so many boys names nowadays are being used by girls! My youngest sister knows girls who are named Cori, Tyler, and Taylor. -_- My least favorite is Mackensie - it's means "son of Kensie," for god's sake. <_<

</rant>

Anyway, I really want to legally change both my first and last names for various reasons when I get older, and when I actually decide on a good name to which to change it. Mechanism would be a little odd for a first name :P , but I might do it - "Mechanism Hawthorne," anyone? I've always liked the name Anastasia, too, and was thinking Anastasia Hawthorne would make a good alias were I to get my book published, but it's a little too feminine...

[Charlieee]

If you're really having trouble deciding, why not masculinise your birth name if possible? It'd make it much easier to get used to the name, wouldn't it?

I started out by doing that, but I had to change it because even the masculinized version of my name started being used by women. Girls keep taking over boy's names, it's annoying!

Argh, I hate that so many boys names nowadays are being used by girls! My youngest sister knows girls who are named Cori, Tyler, and Taylor. -_- My least favorite is Mackensie - it's means "son of Kensie," for god's sake. <_<

</rant>

I am not a fan of gendered names. I don't like being able to "tell" someone's gender just from knowing their name, and nothing else about them. That seems a little bit unfair. I like that so many "boy names" are now becoming "girl names." That fucks up people's perceptions and assumptions about gender and I approve of that.

[AVENCakes]

I still haven't got a name. I'm starting to wonder if I just don't have one- everyone else found one so quick or had one already. It's a bit disconcerting, especially since people are weird about how important names are. :/ I had an ex ask who she dated because I changed my name halfway through and don't technically have a name, and my friend got really offended that we changed the body's name to a communal name as if it was destroying my individuality. I just don't care about name that much.

I am not a fan of gendered names. I don't like being able to "tell" someone's gender just from knowing their name, and nothing else about them. That seems a little bit unfair. I like that so many "boy names" are now becoming "girl names." That fucks up people's perceptions and assumptions about gender and I approve of that.

I wish it went the other way more as well. The only names I can think of that was a girl's name and is now a boy's name is Douglas, and I don't knwo if that's true or not.

[Shinnok]

I really want a Spanish first and last name. If I ever had a Spanish last name I know I would choose Armando because I've stuck with that last name for over a year now

Girls seem to be able to use boys name but it usually doesn't go the other way around. I wonder if it ever will

[AVENCakes]

Girls seem to be able to use boys name but it usually doesn't go the other way around. I wonder if it ever will

Yes... but not very much. The only guys I can think of with female names are Artemis Fowl and Jayne Cobb. And, of course, A Boy Named Sue, which I think sums up why it's not very common at all. :/

[mad_scientist]

I am not a fan of gendered names. I don't like being able to "tell" someone's gender just from knowing their name, and nothing else about them. That seems a little bit unfair. I like that so many "boy names" are now becoming "girl names." That fucks up people's perceptions and assumptions about gender and I approve of that.

I agree, although a reverse trend at the same time would be nice.

I'm female with a girly name, and last night I dressed up (girly top, jewellery, makeup -- very unusual for me) for a friend's birthday. When taking our orders, the waitress asked for our names, and on impulse I decided to give her my last name instead -- Rocco. The double-take was priceless.

Now I want to try something unmistakeably male, like Jason.

[Elliott Ford]

Actually, in America at least, the trend seems to be reversing - see here.

I have a plan for my kids as i can't justify doing anything to them that might place gender expectations on them. They will be named thus Gender-Neutral Name Birth-Gender Name Other-Gender Name Surname.

And i'm planning on bringing them up androgynously until they TELL me what gender they'd like to be treated as and i'll go with what they want, whether it matches their birthgender or not. The only person i trust to tell me what gender my child is - is my child themself. No one else.

Edit - I forgot to write this before.

Also, this is not very relevant but...

I have dolls, i've always had dolls (this confuses people, an FtM with dolls?..) and i had one called Toby.

Toby had short hair and blue clothes and i'd bought Toby to rectify the fact that most of my dolls were girls. I bought Toby so i could have another little boy. This didn't work. Toby was a girl. The first time "he" wore a dress... there was no going back. This isn't really relevant except that she was still called Toby, i just never made her wear boy's clothes again. My doll was MtF... and she wasn't even the only one. Chris(sy) was FtM and a few others actually changed their names... Yes, i'm strange enough to have allowed my dolls to transition :)

[Kelly]

"Mechanism Hawthorne," anyone?

Anything Hawthorne is cool. A person (possibly a distant relative) that lived arounf here was named Nathaniel Hawthorne and was very cool (and told some interesting stories). 8)