AVENguy Posted July 20, 2002 Share Posted July 20, 2002 Ok, so maybe I'm the only one who thinks about this stuff. One of the song lyrics made me think of it, though it's a different enough topic that I think it deserves its own thread... Just towards the end of this year, I got sick of having to be tame all the time. This notion that sexual relationships are and intense in a way that nonsexual ones aren't. Sexual relationships have all of this tension/powerplay stuff, which admitedly sucks, but I think would be useful every once and a while. I don't know if I'm describing what I mean at all. Alot of sexual people get edgy around sexuality, they don't know what it means emotionally but they know it means SOMETHING big, and so it makes for all of this dramatic power dynamics. 99% of the time I feel like they can keep their melodramatics, thank you very much, but it would still be nice to have a way in relationships to turn the intensity level up a notch or two. Any ideas? Prolonged silent eye contact works... Link to post Share on other sites
Luisa Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 "Folks are dumb where I come from, We ain't had any learnin', Still, we're happy as can be, Doin' what comes naturally!" --Irving Berlin, "Annie Get Your Gun." ----------------------------- What does this song lyric have to do with anything? Well...after mulling over your post for awhile, I began thinking that I, personally, am a very "intense" person in most every facet of my life. As an artist of many natures, I can say that when I'm painting, I'm totally committed to that, and lost in that world. And it's the same thing with music, or a song/dance, or whatever. No matter ~what~ the project is, I treat it intensely, because that is my nature. I suppose that it must make me happy, somehow. I am also "intense" by nature when I am with someone. People have noticed this a lot throughout my life, in both positive and negative ways. Some people have requested that I NOT be so intense (read: not myself.) I wonder if a person can, deliberately, change their "level of intensity" to a great degree, or whether it is something that is part and parcel of who you are. (It is likely that everyone has a range of "least intense" to "most intense." Probably, my "least intense" would overlap their "most intense.") As far as the heightened feelings that sexual people associate with being sexual together, all I can say is that this is the ~one~ area of my life where I am not intense...except about abstaining from it! :-) No real answers here...just a few thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
unkn0wn9 Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 I think that asexuality can be totaly intense. especially if you are in a relationship with a sexual person. If you want to talk about intense see how worked up someone gets over a nice back massage or even kissing and calming down someone or taking control in that manner that is very intense and an emense power play. With other asexuals turning up the valume I dont know how far some of you go or want to but have you ever tried to breath through someone or make yourselves as harmonious to eachother as you can. Working out the emotional and physical parameters of being together controlling your bodies to see if yo can make them as compatible as your emotionality sitting there reading together realising the other person is thinking about you and your thinking about them. Ever tried to guess what someone is thinkg, like really tried. Ever calmed someone from an extremely excited state or listened to someone breath. I dont knwo if some of these things may be too intimate for some. I mean there are so many physical and emotionally stimulating things to expereince far and beyond sexual relations. Ever kept someone up so late that yo both are becoming so drowsy and physically and mentally taking yourself to the limits and talking through your feelings owrking on what is truly going through your head being able to trust someone enough to let them see you when all the pretense and facade fades away. These are the things that i want to share with a person the darkest and ligtest and all the shades between of my personality and what has beent here and then knowing the person will accept everything all of ur true emotions comparing how you expereince love to what they expereince love knowing that one emtion your personal construction of an emotion differes from that of your partner. So yeah sexual people may have sex but there problem is they are blinded by the thought that that is the top of expereince what happens when that gets old. People never run out of thoughts, ideas, perceptions, misperceptions, and emotions but sexual positions there are only some many ways you can bend your body. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 Those sound very intense and like great answers, unknown9, thanks for the ideas. Luisa, I'm with you. I am similarly an extremely intense kind of person in every facet of my life (I often worry that I am weirding people off with my intensity but I try to not think of that and be myself), and personally, I've got all the intensity that I could ever ask for :) Kate Link to post Share on other sites
coralleane Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 I don't know about changing an intensity, but hiding it is something I'm used to having to do around a couple of friends of mine... ~Coral Link to post Share on other sites
unkn0wn9 Posted February 28, 2003 Share Posted February 28, 2003 Yay fun none sex inter-personal fun!! I think we should keep this up, coming up with none sexual possibilities to physical intimacy. I know there are many possibilities to emotional connections meditations and some rather interesting energy exchange practices that could be more intimate :) But if anyone has any new ideas i think we should keep adding to the list mayb make a seperate link something like Things To Do In Bed without doing it hehehe Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis Posted February 28, 2003 Share Posted February 28, 2003 Your post is full of ideas, Unkn0wn9, I think they're great. Link to post Share on other sites
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