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On Pronouns.


arisa

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I've got some questions about pronoun usage! In real life I haven't encountered who's raised a funk about pronoun usage. But around the Internet, I've seen some debates and the like. I'm just wondering how you guys think.

- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

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I'm stuck back in the days of he/she, or s/he.

I don't think any more complex system will catch on. I think people have to cut others a little slack since we can't always know how others want to be labeled, if at all.

When I worked in an AIDS advocacy group in the 90s, we went to visit a University researcher and afterwrds people made fun of him for saying "people with color" instead of "people of color." He didn't mean anything pernicious in doing that and probably just misspoke, but they were incensed. That's not pronoun usage but it's kind of the same situation.

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KayleeSaeihr

I'm not a fan of the currently existing neutral pronouns, but I like the idea behind them. For myself I tend to prefer feminine pronouns, so I wouldn't use neutral ones for myself.

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oneofthesun
I've got some questions about pronoun usage! In real life I haven't encountered who's raised a funk about pronoun usage. But around the Internet, I've seen some debates and the like. I'm just wondering how you guys think.

- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

It depends on the person and their tone. If they've already said they're OK with me being trans then I let it go. If not I ask them to please use the other pronouns.

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heatdissipation

I've never really had to deal with this problem outside of the Internet, but I don't know how to refer to neutrois or people of the third gender. First of all, I use pronouns based on general appearance (if it's a stranger, that is), so I don't know how I'd avoid offending someone, short of them wearing a sign declaring their actual gender.

I've asked before, but I would really like to some sort of guideline for non-binary third-person pronouns. Lacking that, I use s/he or they.

Zir? Xe? Very confused here.

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Lord Happy Toast

For someone of unknown gender, I use 'they'. I haven't had too many opportunities where I had to refer to someone who doesn't identify as he or she, but I think I would prefer to use 'they' in those situations as well. I guess I think of 'ze' and the like as kind of silly because they are attempts to create gender neutral pronouns when English already has one. And English has had gender neutral pronouns for centuries. Shakespeare used it. The King James Bible used it. I hear that most of the major English authors use it. Pretty much everybody in everyday language uses it. But some language pedants say it's bad, and so people, feeling a need to gender neutral pronouns other than the ones English already has, create new ones.

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- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

I pass about half the time. When it's someone I don't know, I'm angry but not offended. Depending on my mood I may or may not correct them. If it's someone I know, I get very offended (unless they've given me reason not to be - mental issue or whatever).

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

No. I used to use ze. Became too complicated. Made a short documentary on this issue from a sociological/linguistic standpoint....

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

Yes and yes.

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

Only if that person prefers gender-neutral pronouns. Or if I don't know the person's preferred pronoun. (Though I may just use singular 'they' in that case.)

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

Uh, of course. Why wouldn't I?

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

I see that as an issue of mispronouning someone. If someone requests a specific pronoun, that pronoun should be used, regardless of what it is.

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I've never really had to deal with this problem outside of the Internet, but I don't know how to refer to neutrois or people of the third gender. First of all, I use pronouns based on general appearance (if it's a stranger, that is), so I don't know how I'd avoid offending someone, short of them wearing a sign declaring their actual gender.

I've asked before, but I would really like to some sort of guideline for non-binary third-person pronouns. Lacking that, I use s/he or they.

Zir? Xe? Very confused here.

"Hi. My name is Charlie, and I use male pronouns. What about you?"

The easiest way is to ask, of course. Just not in a way that makes it seem like you're singing the 'OMG TRANS PERSON spotlight' on them. *shrug*

On the internet, at least, the most commonly-used gender neutral pronouns I've seen are ze/zir.

This is a very helpful chart explaining the pronoun declension. The entire FAQ in general is great, though it uses ey/em instead.

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I use the singular 'they' because she/he just looks stupid and unnecessary when there's a singular "they". I know some people who use 'it'- but that's only okay if the person asks, it's just too offensive for it to ever catch on. All the others look weird to me, I wish they didn't. I hate singular/plural being the same. That's why "you" pisses me off- it's caused me a bit of trouble at various points in time, and I've gotten snapped at by idiots assuming I menat singular "you" when I meant plural "you". >_<

So, basically, I'd like for a singular gender neutral to catch on (and a singular second person)- but don't know when/if it will.

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I know some people who use 'it'- but that's only okay if the person asks, it's just too offensive for it to ever catch on. All the others look weird to me, I wish they didn't.

There's a professor at my (US) school who is very enthusiastic about "it" becoming a gender neutral pronoun. Her first language is Turkish, which has one third person pronoun - "o." It is used for everything - males, females, animals, chairs, whatever. In her mind, she always translates that as "it," and has trouble not calling people by that pronoun. (She also confuses "he" and "she" all the time - sometimes on purpose. ;) ) So she advocates for "it" because she doesn't really see the point of distinguishing between animacy and inanimacy, in terms of pronouns. She thinks it's as irrelevant as gender....

Just another opinion to throw out there.

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I know some people see it as fine- I did point out that I know people who prefer to be referred to as 'it'- but most people use 'it' as derogatory when they can't figure out what sex a person is or because they know they're trans, no matter how well they pass. First we'd have to make sure that gets cleared up, or I'm sure a lot of people will be uncomfortable with it. I mentioned it to a transguy friend of mine- and he was vehemently against it because, as I mention, people use it as a derogatory pronoun for transpeople and he's had it directed at him.

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thecynicalromantic

The singular "they" has actually been around for a very long time. At some point a bunch of perscriptivists decided it was "incorrect," like splitting infinitives, and so now it seems a bit weird in certain circumstances and when people are paying attention, but if you listen real carefully you can usually catch any given anti-singular-they person using it eventually.

I'm very much not in favor of creating new pronouns and hoping they catch on, simply because they won't. People who invent new pronouns might know stuff about gender but they know *nothing* about linguistics--pronouns are the single most difficult part-of-speech class to introduce new words to. (And if you invent a new pronoun to be used just for yourself, like some people try to do, that's not a pronoun--it's a nickname.)

"They" might not be perfect, but it's winning. (I'd like to see a return to differentiated singular and plural 2nd person pronouns, but this is not likely. I'd also like to see a differentiated inclusive and exclusive "we" in English, but this is even less likely.)

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There's a professor at my (US) school who is very enthusiastic about "it" becoming a gender neutral pronoun. Her first language is Turkish, which has one third person pronoun - "o." It is used for everything - males, females, animals, chairs, whatever. In her mind, she always translates that as "it," and has trouble not calling people by that pronoun. (She also confuses "he" and "she" all the time - sometimes on purpose. ;) ) So she advocates for "it" because she doesn't really see the point of distinguishing between animacy and inanimacy, in terms of pronouns. She thinks it's as irrelevant as gender....

Just another opinion to throw out there.

This example made me think of languages that use more than three genders (male, female, and a neuter). There are plenty like that, though I haven't studied one personally. Are their words for someone outside of the gender dichotomy? I have something to read up on...

The singular "they" has actually been around for a very long time. At some point a bunch of perscriptivists decided it was "incorrect," like splitting infinitives, and so now it seems a bit weird in certain circumstances and when people are paying attention, but if you listen real carefully you can usually catch any given anti-singular-they person using it eventually.

I'm very much not in favor of creating new pronouns and hoping they catch on, simply because they won't. People who invent new pronouns might know stuff about gender but they know *nothing* about linguistics--pronouns are the single most difficult part-of-speech class to introduce new words to. (And if you invent a new pronoun to be used just for yourself, like some people try to do, that's not a pronoun--it's a nickname.)

"They" might not be perfect, but it's winning. (I'd like to see a return to differentiated singular and plural 2nd person pronouns, but this is not likely. I'd also like to see a differentiated inclusive and exclusive "we" in English, but this is even less likely.)

I agree with you on all of these points. I personally back the singular they, and from what I've been seeing, it's becoming more acceptable. (The "prescriptivist" notion is losing power, I think.)

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There's a professor at my (US) school who is very enthusiastic about "it" becoming a gender neutral pronoun. Her first language is Turkish, which has one third person pronoun - "o." It is used for everything - males, females, animals, chairs, whatever. In her mind, she always translates that as "it," and has trouble not calling people by that pronoun. (She also confuses "he" and "she" all the time - sometimes on purpose. ;) ) So she advocates for "it" because she doesn't really see the point of distinguishing between animacy and inanimacy, in terms of pronouns. She thinks it's as irrelevant as gender....

Just another opinion to throw out there.

This example made me think of languages that use more than three genders (male, female, and a neuter). There are plenty like that, though I haven't studied one personally. Are their words for someone outside of the gender dichotomy? I have something to read up on...

The only language I can think of off the top of my head that is like that is German, with er=he, sie=she, es=it. I don't speak German, so I don't know if it's used in that context. I will be starting classes this coming fall, though, so I could come back and give an update? I don't know. Any German speakers here?

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The only language I can think of off the top of my head that is like that is German, with er=he, sie=she, es=it. I don't speak German, so I don't know if it's used in that context. I will be starting classes this coming fall, though, so I could come back and give an update? I don't know. Any German speakers here?

I took german, and it's a highly gendered language thanks to the articles and adding -in to make it female. Der Pilot die Pilotin, der Freund die Freundin, etc. Oddly- die is both "the" female and plural. Also, thanks to suffixes, words for women (such as Mädchen, girl) are neuter. I believe all words from english (ex. Jeans, CDs, etc) are female.

I didn't ask, but I didn't see a way to use gender neutral language for peple. Das Pilot? It just looks like you messed up the article. I also don't know if es is acceptable to use on humans, but it'd be curious because you can shorten (sag es -> sag's), but I didn't get very far- only 2 years, I could be wrong.

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mort paradis
- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

Yea, I get offended...I don't correct people usually, but I really wish I did.

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

I find myself in common usage, using they..people already know what it means and even if they don't like it they know what it means.

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

Yes, and I really really hope so.

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

More often than not, yes.

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

Yes, otherwise how could I expect them to honor my wishes to be called a certain pronoun.

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

It's insensitive, and you won't win people over to using GNPs by using them on people that don't want it and have no need for it themselves.

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Elliott Ford

I just did a really long post about this on another thread.

My pronoun is "he" because I am a trans man. You might also see this written as FtM, F2M or Female-to-Male. It is exactly what it sounds like it is, I am a female-bodied man.

Similarly, some of my closest friends are trans women. This is also written as MtF, M2F or Male-to-Female. Their pronouns are "she" as they are women, even if they are male-bodied.

It is very offensive to (knowingly) refer to trans women as "he" or trans men as "she".

Some people do not count themselves as being either "men" or "women". They may see themselves as being both (typically called bigender), neither (this could possibly be called agendered, neutrois or genderless), a mixture (could be called androgyne, genderqueer, genderfluid etc)or something completely different (often called third gendered or genderqueer).

Some WILL use the pronoun of their sex or the opposite sex, others will prefer to go by "they", some switch pronouns, some use "sie" and "hir" or "ze" and "zir" or another system of gender neutral pronouns and some use no pronouns at all.

If you do not know the gender of a person you are trying to refer to, i suggest you either use "they" or avoid using pronouns at all, rather than trying to guess.

In my experience, non-binary trans and genderqueer people are a lot less likely to be offended by pronouns than binary trans people but i thought it was worth explaining just so no one's confused by my insistance on refering to my partner as "sie".

I refer to lots of people as "they", mainly because that's how they refer to themselves, sometimes to protect their identities (I have a welfare role here and sometimes discuss situations with my colleagues without disclosing the gender of the person involved). I do use "sie" and "hir" to refer to my partner online but not usually in real life except when i'm with other trans people. I find it difficult, actually, to refer to hir as "she" eventhough i know sie doesn't mind in the slightest. I cannot see hir as female so it feels very odd to refer to hir as if that's what sie is. If i do, I'll probly refer to hir as "he" in the next breath to make up for it! Sie doesn't mind whatever pronouns people want to use to refer to hir. When talking about hir in real life, i just avoid pronouns. Hir name's only one syllable, it's not like i'm wasting breath using it repeatedly :) lol

When i was unsure about my gender, i was known to use "they" but stopped because it reminds me too much of my mental diificulties (I have periods of being a multiplicity. I call the other people in my head "visitors" because they never stay longer than a few weeks and therefore see refering to myself by a supposedly plural pronoun is unhelpful once i return to being a singularity) but i don't think very many people have this association with the word "they" and so i am more than willing to use it for other people if they ask me to :)

Hope this is in some way helpful :) :cake:

Also, yes i do correct people. i wouldn't say that i find female pronouns "offensive" exactly.. I can't really blame anyone who sees me as a dyke-y looking female but i also cannot cope with being refered to incorrectly for any period of time so i try to politely correct them without making a fuss. Most people are willing to refer to you with the pronouns you ask for, even if they can't understand why.

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- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

I identify myself as genderless, but when they use 'she' or 'they' to refer to me, it's fine by me. I don't correct them, because 'she' is the way my body is, and I still feel rather feminine than masculine inside (probably because of my body's sex), but when someone refers to me using 'woman', I tend to tell them than there's no woman here.

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

It's first time when I hear about those pronouns. I even don't know which refers to which gender, and still I'm not sure if the person wants me to use those pronouns while referring to them, so I think the most secure way is like this:

When someone I know is transgendered, I refer to them using pronouns according to their gender, not sex, or use 'they' or just don't use pronouns at all and call them by their name (that's the easiest way, I guess). I think I would just ask if I had any doubts.

As far as I know, some transgendered people prefer others to refer to them according to their body's sex, because they don't want other people to know about them being transgendered, so it's not always offensive when person still refers to someone 'she' when this person is FtM (for example). Again, the best way is to ask.

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

Personally, I don't need those pronouns, but I know that some people need them, so I would support the idea. I'm not sure if they will 'catch on', but I hope they will.

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

Yeah.

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

Like person A disrespects person B.

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Elliott Ford

As far as I know, some transgendered people prefer people to refer to them according to their body's sex, because they don't want others to know about them being transgendered, so it's not always offensive when person still refers to someone 'she' when this this person is FtM (for example). Again, the best way is to ask.

I should have remembered this, i know quite a few people to whom this applies!

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As far as I know, some transgendered people prefer people to refer to them according to their body's sex, because they don't want others to know about them being transgendered, so it's not always offensive when person still refers to someone 'she' when this this person is FtM (for example). Again, the best way is to ask.

I should have remembered this, i know quite a few people to whom this applies!

Crap, I really shouldn't post here if I'm in hurry, what a horrible 'style' (or rather, lack of it). <_< Sorry for that.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out that sometimes people don't know how to act when they know that someone is transgendered but there're other people around. Sometimes using gender- neutral pronouns in public doesn't mean this person is rude, but rather confused, and uses those pronouns because it's the most secure way.

I'm glad you understand me, Elliott :)

Regards :)

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Elliott Ford
Anyway, I just wanted to point out that sometimes people don't know how to act when they know that someone is transgendered but there're other people around. Sometimes using gender- neutral pronouns in public doesn't mean this person is rude, but rather confused, and uses those pronouns because it's the most secure way.

I'm glad you understand me, Elliott :)[/color][/font]

Yeah, when i wasn't entirely sure whether i was "female," "male" or "something else" (never, most of the time and often :) ) I used genderless pronouns to refer to myself in writing but found it far too strange to use them in real life as they drew too much attention to the fact that i'm transgendered. But i didn't like being referred to exclusively as female so got everyone to mix pronouns for me.

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- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

I identify as both, so you can use any pronoun you'd like for me and I'm not offended. I typically get "she" in real life and "he" on the internet, and both are fine.

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

I actually forgot about "they" until I read this thread! I prefer being referred to as "they", however I'd never correct anyone who doesn't refer to me that way.

The only time I've ever been in love was with someone who, throughout the entire relationship, referred to me as "they" and I did the same with them. It was the most amazing thing to me because no one else had ever done that... I can probably thank them a LOT for my understanding of myself now. They were the first person to introduce to me the idea that gender might not actually matter so much.

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

I seriously doubt much other than "they" will ever catch on, though for the sake of everyone who wants other neutral pronouns, I hope something else does.

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

If I'm unsure, then yes. I used to work in an environment that put me close to a lot of transsexual individuals, you learned very quickly there to not just assume.

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

Certainly, whatever they prefer.

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

It seems disrespectful and honestly rather rude. If the situation were switched, you would want Person B to refer to you as the pronoun of your choice; why not show them the same respect?

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mad_scientist
I've got some questions about pronoun usage! In real life I haven't encountered who's raised a funk about pronoun usage. But around the Internet, I've seen some debates and the like. I'm just wondering how you guys think.

- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

I don't get offended. I usually correct them because my (biological) gender is known on the forums I frequent, and if I don't someone else will, probably with unnecessary enthusiasm. But I don't really care.

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

I usually use "they" -- I prefer other systems, but am unpractised in their usage and thus afraid I'll apply them wrong.

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

I think we need gender-neutral pronouns. I do not have the appropriate understanding of sociology to hazard a guess as to whether they'll catch on.

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

Yes. It's not really an issue for me.

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

Like a silly internet fight over nothing. Why do either of them care enough to argue about it?

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GirlInside
- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

Never, for both. I think of the usage of "he" for people like me in the same light as I think of the fact that you would say "he" for a masculine noun in French even if describing a woman.

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

I use the singular "they" because it's the most commonly understood.

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

I only campaign for their usage by example. I think the word "they" will eventually become singular, just as the word "you" has (it was once plural).

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

Only when I don't know the person's gender.

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

Sure, why not?

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

I don't like that Person A made such a big deal over it and refused to honor a small, simple request from Person B.

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One day when i was with my mom a person in the drive-thru window liked my hat, but couldn't tell whether i was male or female. according to my mom she said, "i like their hat."

i thought it was completely awesome...mostly because i am typically so obviously biologically female, so it is such a rare experience for people not to figure out whether i'm male or female.

I don't really have a problem with the usage of "they/their"...though it sounds a little weird initially the pronouns are usually used to indicate plural. I do not recommend the use of "it" because it is usually viewed in a negative way...i mean, we are to a point that if you know an animal's sex you don't call the animal "it"...the usage of it seems to put the people on the same playing field with inanimate objects (at least, that's how i feel)

i think that it would be great if we were able to adopt a gender neutral pronoun system...though in reality i don't see such a system coming into popular use anytime soon...probably using "they/their" works the best...or as was mentioned earlier, ask the person...though the is indeed an interesting conversation starter :lol:

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mort paradis
the usage of it seems to put the people on the same playing field with inanimate objects (at least, that's how i feel)

then we see so many people using gendered pronouns and terms for inanimate objects, like calling ships and cars she, etc :rolleyes:

I've also noticed that many people don't seem to have a problem calling a baby or a fetus "it"

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I've also noticed that many people don't seem to have a problem calling a baby or a fetus "it"

Even Pro-Lifers?

Recently, on Laura's, a questioning person posted that they were an 'it', quite fine with their own word for describing themselves, and were met with a disapproving frown from a transwoman, which bugged me (and, apparently, them as they commented on it later). It's too bad people have a hard time accepting that 'it' can be used in a non-offensive way.

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I've also noticed that many people don't seem to have a problem calling a baby or a fetus "it"

Even Pro-Lifers?

I feel like I can respond because I consider myself in that camp. :P Personally, I wouldn't refer to babies (born or unborn) as "it" if their sex was known to me. (Actually, I get offended when people refer to my pets as "it" when they know the sex.) If the unborn fetus is too young to tell the sex, I think I would refer to it as 'it'. (See, I just did it.) That doesn't mean I think it is any less worthy of life, though.

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mad_scientist
I've also noticed that many people don't seem to have a problem calling a baby or a fetus "it"

Even Pro-Lifers?

I feel like I can respond because I consider myself in that camp. :P Personally, I wouldn't refer to babies (born or unborn) as "it" if their sex was known to me. (Actually, I get offended when people refer to my pets as "it" when they know the sex.) If the unborn fetus is too young to tell the sex, I think I would refer to it as 'it'. (See, I just did it.) That doesn't mean I think it is any less worthy of life, though.

Everyone in my family refers to my femal baby cousin as "it". Including her mother. I don't know why, it's just the way we talk about babies.

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I've decided I'm gonna respond to the questions now that I've posted in here. :blush:

- If you are identify with a gender that's not readily apparent, do you find yourself offended if people use the "wrong" pronoun to refer to you? Do you correct people?

Until about a month ago, I would have told you that I'm perfectly okay with being female (assigned-at-birth-sex). When the gender discussion forum came up, the more I read, the more I found myself questioning myself... hadn't really considered gender vs sex before. I don't experience dysphoria (aside from the fact that I've always hated my breasts, I suppose) but I've never really resonated with "female" as a gender identity, so...

BACK TO THE QUESTION. I haven't really explored gender in terms of presentation, so no one has ever used anything but "she" for me. It doesn't bother me. I feel like part of me is female. Same time, I wouldn't mind someone calling me "he" either. (Or anything neutral. Actually, I'd probably prefer neutral.)

- Do you use a system of pronouns other than the usual he/she distinction (gender-neutral and/or "invented" pronouns), what do you use? The singular "they"? "Ze"? "Xe"? Why?

I'm still questioning right now, but I feel drawn to 'bigendered' as a label so I'm still seeing how well it fits. I have started using "s/he" for myself (with the slash), but I think I'm likely to switch between binary pronouns (depending what I'm identifying as at the time) and neutral ones until I decide which label fits best.

- Do you campaign for the usage of gender-neutral pronouns? Do you think they will ever catch on?

Campaign, no. I use them when I know that's the preferred pronoun of someone.

I have doubts that they'll catch on.

- Do you consistently use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to other people?

I usually use singular "they" if I don't know their gender.

- Hypothetical situation time! If you use gender-neutral pronouns in reference to someone who then says, they'd rather you use a gendered pronoun, would you comply?

Yep. I believe everyone should be able to define themselves however they want and no one should question that, so in any situation that someone corrects me, I'd comply with what they want.

- In regards to the previous question, I've seen this happen somewhere and a debate followed. Person A was so insistent in their usage of gender-neutral pronouns, they would not use a gendered pronoun to refer to Person B, even upon request. How does seem to you guys?

Same as the opposite situation -- refusing to use a gender-neutral pronoun for someone who requests it: rude.

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