• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
Elliott Ford

What it feels like to be trans, genderqueer or genderless

Recommended Posts

mad_scientist
Hi there,

I'm new here, just discovered this website and thought I would register as it sounds like me.

I have always felt different, I'm female, I look female physically, I have the mind more like a man I think (well, what is generally

considered to be stereotypically male-creative, spatial awareness, sense of humor, hate shopping etc etc). I wouldn't be seen dead in a dress or skirt, I would kind of feel like I was in drag!

I'm not gay or straight, kind of neither, but I definitely prefer the company of males more, not the 'blokey' type of male, the

more 'arty' type. I have some good female friends too, they are usually bi, for some reason, not 'girly' or 'tomboyish'.

I have no desire to 'find a man' or have kids (yuck-babies!), no sex drive (it scares me and I'm terrified of getting pregnant-my worst nightmare!).

I'm independent and a shy, pessimistic personality type,though I love to have interesting, funny conversations, with close friends of either gender, that is what I value most - friendship and having fun.

Anyway, just thought I'ld ramble on a bit and introduce myself. Not really sure what I'm classified as, non-gender? I don't know, don't care really, it just makes life harder, ostracized, friends drift away and settle down, it's hard to plan a future/get a mortgage/go on holiday etc when you're single, co-workers assume you're gay (it's obvious with their 'subtle' questions and comment)

Anyway, bye for now, good to see I'm not alone:-)

You might like this site:

http://www.whatisgender.net/phpBB3/index.php

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ixtli13

I do not strongly identify with either gender. My body is female. I let people treat me like one.

I have discovered that if I could look any way that I wanted to look, I would like to not have breasts. They are a nuisance. I dislike them. I do not want to be a male though. I just don't like having breasts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mad_scientist
I do not strongly identify with either gender. My body is female. I let people treat me like one.

I have discovered that if I could look any way that I wanted to look, I would like to not have breasts. They are a nuisance. I dislike them. I do not want to be a male though. I just don't like having breasts.

Me too!

I have nothing against breasts (I think they look quite nice on women, actually), but they're inconvenient on me and make it hard to find nice clothing that fits properly, especially since I like men's shirts and ties. They get in the way and are frustratingly sensitive.

They do, however, provide the near-impenetrable Binary Assumption Armour; everybody just assumes I'm female because I have them and, since I don't want to come out about neing agendered, that works well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mad_scientist
I do not strongly identify with either gender. My body is female. I let people treat me like one.

I have discovered that if I could look any way that I wanted to look, I would like to not have breasts. They are a nuisance. I dislike them. I do not want to be a male though. I just don't like having breasts.

Me too!

I have nothing against breasts (I think they look quite nice on women, actually), but they're inconvenient on me and make it hard to find nice clothing that fits properly, especially since I like men's shirts and ties. They get in the way and are frustratingly sensitive.

They do, however, provide the near-impenetrable Binary Assumption Armour; everybody just assumes I'm female because I have them and, since I don't want to come out about neing agendered, that works well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Princely One

I know I'm agender; however, I have no clue how to explain this weird need to be more neutral or at least how I HATE to be thought of as female. as much as i don't like looking like a manly man... i'd rather be a man than a woman. why i wish i knew- it's driving me insane.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mad_scientist
I know I'm agender; however, I have no clue how to explain this weird need to be more neutral or at least how I HATE to be thought of as female. as much as i don't like looking like a manly man... i'd rather be a man than a woman. why i wish i knew- it's driving me insane.

It might be that, because you've been treated as female all your life, you associate masculinity more with neutrality. That's what happens to me, anyhow; I'm agender, and I feel more comfortable in boy's clothing using male body language. Since I'm treated as female, the injection of masculinity seems to bring me closer to a happy compromise. It'd be nice if people didn't apply the silly labels at all, but that's not going to happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Princely One
I know I'm agender; however, I have no clue how to explain this weird need to be more neutral or at least how I HATE to be thought of as female. as much as i don't like looking like a manly man... i'd rather be a man than a woman. why i wish i knew- it's driving me insane.

It might be that, because you've been treated as female all your life, you associate masculinity more with neutrality. That's what happens to me, anyhow; I'm agender, and I feel more comfortable in boy's clothing using male body language. Since I'm treated as female, the injection of masculinity seems to bring me closer to a happy compromise. It'd be nice if people didn't apply the silly labels at all, but that's not going to happen.

That very well may be- I've certainly thought it before. Too many people in my life treat it like I hate the stigma of being female in appearance, or that I hate women- but I already went down that road and I don't. D: I mean, I certainly hate the stigma, yes.

I'm exploring other options for why I sometimes feel too masculine for my own good.. literally. It fades sometimes, and other times it's really strong. There's also times where I do things I have complete control over- and I just can't stand some of the things I do. Hard to explain that part.. lolz

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest penerod
I do not strongly identify with either gender. My body is female. I let people treat me like one.

I have discovered that if I could look any way that I wanted to look, I would like to not have breasts. They are a nuisance. I dislike them. I do not want to be a male though. I just don't like having breasts.

Me too! My thoughts exactly!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sakura_alice

I've really enjoyed reading this thread. It seems I've come a long way on the AVEN forum. First I found out I'm asexual, and now after much thought, I also want to say that I'm bigendered. At first I thought I might be genderless, but then I realized I enjoy being both a boy and a girl. Which is really weird for me to say right now, because I just thought of it like 5 minutes ago. I think I read someone else saying the same thing or something similar. All growing up I would ask my parents, "why do the guys get all the cool clothes?" and they'd look at me like, "...what are you talking about?". I do like some girl clothes, just not the ones that are overly feminine (especially that show off cleavage or midriff) Thinking on it some more, I guess I like the clothes where I can be either a girl or a boy. So is this genderless? But I don't want to have zero gender, I want to be both at the same time. I don't want to be the gruff skirt-chasing guy, and I don't want to be the tee-hee naive girl, I want to be the middle that rocks out and plays hard but also looks good in skirts and jewelry. Maybe this is genderless?

I was just wondering, does anyone know of any manga character, novel character, game character, or any such that has this trait? I would like to read about a character I can relate to. I think Utena is one such character, but I was wondering if there were others. If not, I may have to make one. :)

One example of someone I can think of is Shinya from Dir en Grey.

Shinya2.jpg

But is this genderless? Of course this is Japan, so it would probably just be "normal cool guy". But I'd like to pull off this look too, so maybe it's bigender for me? I think I'm confusing myself with bigender and genderless now... :( Maybe I am genderless, I don't know. -_-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kino
I was just wondering, does anyone know of any manga character, novel character, game character, or any such that has this trait? I would like to read about a character I can relate to. I think Utena is one such character, but I was wondering if there were others. If not, I may have to make one. :)

I'm fairly certain that the character Kino, from the anime Kino no Tabi (Or Kino's Journey) is gender neutral. Aside from the fact that Kino's biological sex isn't revealed until the fourth episode, Kino also seems to dislike the idea of being called a 'boy' or a 'girl' instead replying with "Please don't call me 'little boy/girl', my name is Kino.".

Just thought I'd mention.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sakura_alice

^ :blink: omg, thank you! This is exactly the kind of thing I've been looking for! And it looks really interesting too. I'm going to travel to my "local" Japanese bookstore sometime soon and see if they've got it. Thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kino

And thus, my work here is complete.

*Puts sunglasses on, mounts motorbike, and drives off into sunset.*

Before I go however, and slightly more on topic, I've always been curiosu about the term 'transman'/ 'transwoman', I've heard it around but never been able to determine whether this would mean an MtF or FtM either way.

EDIT: I must admit i've never been able to get hold of the manga, just the anime, and I've heard they're quite different from each other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sakura_alice

They sell the books on Yesasia.com! I get several of my hard-to-find manga/shousetsu from there. If my bookstore doesn't carry Kino, I'll get it from that website.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Elliott Ford
Before I go however, and slightly more on topic, I've always been curiosu about the term 'transman'/ 'transwoman', I've heard it around but never been able to determine whether this would mean an MtF or FtM either way.

"Trans man" and "trans woman" are short forms of "transsexual/transgendered man" and "transsexual/transgendered woman".

A trans woman is an MtF because she is a woman. A trans man is an FtM because he is a man.

All terms for trans people refer to their gender rather than their birth sex.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mad_scientist
I was just wondering, does anyone know of any manga character, novel character, game character, or any such that has this trait? I would like to read about a character I can relate to. I think Utena is one such character, but I was wondering if there were others. If not, I may have to make one. :)

I recently watched an old scifi parody series called Quark. One of the main characters is Gene/Jean, a transmute (a person with a full set of male and female chromosomes -- yes, I know the science here is terrible, but it's an old scifi, run with it). I don't think they're a particularly accurate representation, but... come on, it was the '80s. The gender confusion results in two distinct, very stereotypically gendered personalities -- Gene is an engineer and very aggressive soldier who absolutely detests the Gorgons (designated series enemies) and throws himself into danger and action whenever possible. Jean is a girly-girl pacifist who continually apologises for her male side's behaviour and emphasises how communication can solve all problems and violence is never the answer. They switch at apparent random, without warning.

I thought zhe was pretty cool, anyway (when I wasn't busy being obsessed with Ficus... but that's another topic).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Salyiha

I love this thread - finally somewhere I can speak my mind!

I HATE BEING A WOMAN

I hate my body for as long I can remember and especially since puberty.

I've never been a girl - I hate skirts, dresses and make-up. I'm always wearing wide shirts and jeans. My body is too bulky with broad shoulders, heavy bones and it's very easy for me to put up muscles. I've always had short hair and until I was 12 I've generally been mistaken for a boy. I even found an old picture of my dad. At the age of 13 we could have been twins! And then I got my glasses and all of the sudden I looked like a girl! I hated it!

I had no idea how to handle it and so I started hating myself. There isn't a day without me cursing my damn girly body and the weakness he is.

There are so many things that disgust me about myself I can't even count them.

I've never had really good female friends, because their interests are so different from mine. It would have been impossible to find a consens in our daily activities. Unfortunately the boys always regarded me as a girl and so I didn't have any male friends, too... I was very lonely and nobody seemed to care.

At the moment life's a little bit better. I took a job where I'm 95% surrounded by men and I've finally found a buddy I can hang out with without thinking every minute about myself and my fucked up life. He accepts me as I am, although he often tags me as "weird". I know he just doesn't know a better way to name my odd behaviour.

That doesn't stop me from hating myself and my body and everything connected to it, but at least it makes it bearable at the moment.

God, how I hate my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jacob

I love that there's such a vast trans community within AVEN, it feels so liberating to talk to people who understand you and not have to justify feelings to people just because they aren't the norm within society :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gray_imagination

in my very particular case (which I'm currently calling ungendered) this is how it feels:

My body isn't wrong, I am. And not that I need to be corrected, it's a fine body, but I just existent as a person on much more intellectual and emotional plane. I'm disconnected from the physical world not just my body. I think and feel internally and that is what I am, the body is like a house. I've had it for a long time and I might want to redecorate, but I'd never move. Still, the house is not WHAT I am.

Apart with lacking anything resembling a sex drive, I lack the biological imperative to procreate. It made me a little sad when I realized I could probably never get to the point where I would consider myself a fit parent, but as far as I know I am completely physical capable of having children, but, I have never, ever in 25 years felt the desire to HAVE or MAKE let alone NURSE a child. The very most I would ever want is to adopt. I'm much happier though being an aunt, that's fulfills my need to commune with children.

I don't have sex, I don't have any desire to have or nurse children. What then, is the use of breasts or a uterus? As it is, the breasts get me unwanted attention, are hard to accommodate in clothing (I am petite but 34DD/F) and I get dreadful cramps sometimes in addition to the messiness of periods. This body is inconvenient and uncomfortable. Male bodies, from all accounts, are as well. But if it is part of who you are, then, I imagine either body is more of a trade off and less of a pure annoyance. But I have no use for these inconvenient features. They gain me nothing.

Women when they cannot have children or have to have female parts removed for medical reasons suffer greatly, and while a great deal of it may be cultural pressures, there seems to be something underlying it, something they feel fundamentally robbed of as females. I lack the capacity to understand that. I am utterly terrified of needles and the idea of surgery, but, if I had to have my breasts off for example, I'd be sort of relieved. I'm not going to try to have them off, again, severe fear of needles, IVS, etc, but I've started binding to even things out a bit.

I have no idea what feeling feminine or like a girl is anymore than I can imagine what feeling like a guy is. I know what culture says about both, both older traditions and newer traditions, and stereotypes and roles from other cultures, but both genders just seem constraining and demanding to me. I don't want to BE either, and furthermore, I'm not.

I figured this out when, it really became time for me to be called a "woman". It bothered me. I hated it. Women are other people, I am absolutely not one. I can't explain how I know that, and at first I thought it was an age issue. But reflection caused me to realize that rather than being a perpetual girl or something, I'd never been one at all. I'd been living as an unwitting impostor.

I wish English had a pronoun for me. "It" has too many connotations of dehumanising, though, I wish it didn't since it is a gender neutral third person singular pronoun. As it is, I accept "she" as I am, after all, biologically female, so it is at least somewhat accurate.

ultimately what I want is to be able to be physically androgynous, though this is problematic with my very curvy body and distinctly feminine facial features. I'm not up for radical transformations, so, I am trying to content myself with being very odd but still obviously female. I suppose if society caught up with the fluidity of gender, perhaps I would not even mind so much.

so that is what it is like, at least for me, to be biologically female, but personally ungendered.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Princely One

I am biologically both sexes; however I look quite female with the breasts and such. I decided to let my "beard" grow in order to even things out and so people would stop seeing me as purely female. Wearing men's clothing just makes people think I'm a lesbian or just a macho woman. Neither one is accurate, and I doubt that being called the "bearded lady" will offend me. lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Library Cat

Today I actually realised I was genderless/neutrois. Everything makes perfect sense. Even when I was a little baby, I never played with dolls, and I never played with trucks. I played with animals, which are "neutral", according to my mom. When I was a young teen, I wrote a sci-fi novel about a sexless, genderless human who was born in a test tube, who fell in love with a girl who was very kind to them, but their heart was broken because she was in love with a man, and didn't think they could feel romantic attraction solely because they were sexless. However, they were very much in love with the girl, and it was a pure, romantic love, untampered by sexual desire/lust. Looking back, I think this story was really just me trying to express my agender/asexiness without me knowing. :unsure:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DisDwarf

Hi... I'm new here:) happy holidays everyone

I see myself as a female in a male body (but I seem to have got some female bones too? I'm still checking this up) and I experience dissatisfaction both with the way I'm treated by others and with my body. I sometimes try to find ways to feel happy, thinking that having a female heart in a male body can be a good thing, but it seems like dysphoria doesn't go away that easily, and I find myself dreaming of transition every day. I hope I can find some way to feel happy with the body I've got, as I'm very afraid of hormones/surgeries/etc and they are too pricey for me anyway.

The way I feel? RAPED.

Think of a rape victim who is ridiculed or victimized by society. That's how it feels to be a female trapped in a male body, and having no uterus etc. You feel as if a mad scientist created you as an experiment animal by transplanting some species' brain into another species' body.

Or think it this way: a human brain somehow attached to the body of a plant. How would you feel? You want to run and you can't. You want to talk with people and you can't. You want to express yourself in the world and you can't, because the body that connects you with the world isn't capable of creating a connection between you and the world.

The way I conceptualize it is that gender is a puzzle, there are pieces that make up your brain and pieces that make up your body and the pieces can be of any gender. I think there must be a critical brain piece that corresponds to your core gender identity ("I'm female" etc). If your core gender identity piece is female and your other brain pieces are mostly male while your body pieces are female then you probably are a tomboy but still feel and identify as female. The core piece tells you who you are, the rest of the brain pieces make you think in certain patterns or prefer certain activities etc, and the body pieces determine your looks... but if your body doesn't match the core gender identity piece of your gender puzzle, then you've got a problem which will likely surface as dissatisfaction with your body and the way you're treated by society.

It would probably feel a bit easier if we had a third gender role in society (but I see myself as female with male parts rather than a "third gender", albeit if I lived at a time with no gender-confirmation surgery/hormones available I'd probably have adopted the social identity of a "third gender" to feel and function more comfy in society). In my case I lived most of my life as more-or-less socially isolated, not because that's what I wanted but only because something made me unhappy being around people. I thought it was only shyness. But now I can understand it was hurting me pretending being a man, and with no gender role for me provided by society I was forced to be alone, hiding from the world so I could survive emotionally.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Princely One
Hi... I'm new here:) happy holidays everyone

I see myself as a female in a male body (but I seem to have got some female bones too? I'm still checking this up) and I experience dissatisfaction both with the way I'm treated by others and with my body. I sometimes try to find ways to feel happy, thinking that having a female heart in a male body can be a good thing, but it seems like dysphoria doesn't go away that easily, and I find myself dreaming of transition every day. I hope I can find some way to feel happy with the body I've got, as I'm very afraid of hormones/surgeries/etc and they are too pricey for me anyway.

The way I feel? RAPED.

Think of a rape victim who is ridiculed or victimized by society. That's how it feels to be a female trapped in a male body, and having no uterus etc. You feel as if a mad scientist created you as an experiment animal by transplanting some species' brain into another species' body.

Or think it this way: a human brain somehow attached to the body of a plant. How would you feel? You want to run and you can't. You want to talk with people and you can't. You want to express yourself in the world and you can't, because the body that connects you with the world isn't capable of creating a connection between you and the world.

The way I conceptualize it is that gender is a puzzle, there are pieces that make up your brain and pieces that make up your body and the pieces can be of any gender. I think there must be a critical brain piece that corresponds to your core gender identity ("I'm female" etc). If your core gender identity piece is female and your other brain pieces are mostly male while your body pieces are female then you probably are a tomboy but still feel and identify as female. The core piece tells you who you are, the rest of the brain pieces make you think in certain patterns or prefer certain activities etc, and the body pieces determine your looks... but if your body doesn't match the core gender identity piece of your gender puzzle, then you've got a problem which will likely surface as dissatisfaction with your body and the way you're treated by society.

It would probably feel a bit easier if we had a third gender role in society (but I see myself as female with male parts rather than a "third gender", albeit if I lived at a time with no gender-confirmation surgery/hormones available I'd probably have adopted the social identity of a "third gender" to feel and function more comfy in society). In my case I lived most of my life as more-or-less socially isolated, not because that's what I wanted but only because something made me unhappy being around people. I thought it was only shyness. But now I can understand it was hurting me pretending being a man, and with no gender role for me provided by society I was forced to be alone, hiding from the world so I could survive emotionally.

Hey, I understand what you mean, I really do. But as a victim of "actual rape" myself... you shouldn't throw that word around and claim it fits what's going on. I'm not the only one very uncomfortable with this post.

All I'm gonna say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oceania
Hi... I'm new here:) happy holidays everyone

I see myself as a female in a male body (but I seem to have got some female bones too? I'm still checking this up) and I experience dissatisfaction both with the way I'm treated by others and with my body. I sometimes try to find ways to feel happy, thinking that having a female heart in a male body can be a good thing, but it seems like dysphoria doesn't go away that easily, and I find myself dreaming of transition every day. I hope I can find some way to feel happy with the body I've got, as I'm very afraid of hormones/surgeries/etc and they are too pricey for me anyway.

~~~~

Or think it this way: a human brain somehow attached to the body of a plant. How would you feel? You want to run and you can't. You want to talk with people and you can't. You want to express yourself in the world and you can't, because the body that connects you with the world isn't capable of creating a connection between you and the world.

The way I conceptualize it is that gender is a puzzle, there are pieces that make up your brain and pieces that make up your body and the pieces can be of any gender. I think there must be a critical brain piece that corresponds to your core gender identity ("I'm female" etc). If your core gender identity piece is female and your other brain pieces are mostly male while your body pieces are female then you probably are a tomboy but still feel and identify as female. The core piece tells you who you are, the rest of the brain pieces make you think in certain patterns or prefer certain activities etc, and the body pieces determine your looks... but if your body doesn't match the core gender identity piece of your gender puzzle, then you've got a problem which will likely surface as dissatisfaction with your body and the way you're treated by society.

I feel similar. I too identify as female, but have a male body. Society somehow deems it wrong for a biological male to display feminine traits, and that they are to only present masculine traits. But it's not me, I tend to be quite feminine. It is also difficult when men tend to be negatively judged by females as being sex pigs, as that can make it harder to make female friends (many of whom are skeptical of your motives before they even know you), with whom I have always related with better than males. Being an asexual has made me feel further alienated from most men, as many carelessly talk about sex and women when they are under the impression that they are not in the presence of any females, subjects of which I have no care for, nor do I feel completely comfortable talking about.

And I quite like your description of the various pieces of the brain and body.

Hey, I understand what you mean, I really do. But as a victim of "actual rape" myself... you shouldn't throw that word around and claim it fits what's going on. I'm not the only one very uncomfortable with this post.

My deepest condolences, Lyalen. That must have been a most terrible incident. I'm truly sorry. :( I hope the evildoer was apprehended. And might I offer you some cake? :cake: :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
a sigh.

I have absolutely NO idea why I am transgender. None whatsoever. I wish I could feel like I am a girl, and then everything would be oke, and I wouldn't have strangers calling me "he" and people who know me as female getting weirded out, and I would have high self-esteem.

Girls are prettier. Girls have more freedom with style. Girls are more likeable. But I am male in a female body. Why?

I think people who were assigned to their correct gender probably feel the same way we do, except a little bit happier with their body :]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mookie

My boyfriend has asked me this a few times, I simply say "it feels right" then he asks "but how do you know?" and I say "how do you know you don't want a vagoo?" he says "because I dont..." "My point exactly."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
bugger

I think... I think I'm genderless. I feel flattered when someone calls me a boy (even if they're trying to be condescending, I secretly appreciate it), but I don't usually mind being called a girl. Excpet for titles like "miss," I hate that for some reason. I don't want a title or need a title, I'd rather just be called by my first name, maybe last if I like you enough or hardly know you. I am everyone's equal and don't need a title. I guess if I had to have a title, it would be "mister" because I tend to associate masculine with neutral, I think. So that's why I love wearing tuxes and suits and hate my long hair with a passion, because I know I can't change my breasts to be "less there" without being considered a man, but I would be able to at least let people recognise that I don't follow regular gender perceptions.

I wish my parents would let me cut my hair short; long hair's a drag and stressful... :( and just not me...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
smischmal

I'm kind of agendered I think. I kind of went with this because I was never able to get a good way of knowing what my gender identity was, no cisgender or normal (that is, strictly ftm or mtf) transgender person would ever say how they knew that they were their assigned gender, they just knew. I didn't know, I figured that if everybody else feels this thing (gender identity) pretty strongly then maybe I simply do not have it. A gender is just not one of my defining traits. My interests, idiosyncracies and habits define me, but the social construct that we call gender has always (or at least since I noticed it) been something that has been distinctively external, something imposed on me by the outside world.

To be honest it is so difficult to be able to say things of identity at all because they always have to be phrased in relationship to the norm and the various imperfectly relayed mental states of other individuals. If they cannot vocalize their own thoughts then what hope have I of knowing how different or in what way I am different from them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Frey

I don't think I "just knew" anything. I had gender drilled into Me from an early age (raised by an older man who believed in raising girls as GIRLS -- dresses and all) and I felt like I had no room to think otherwise until I pushed Myself out of My acquired transphobia and realized that I was simply rejecting what I had been taught to reject. When I started breaking down the wall, that was when I knew.

Wasn't any childhood "I'm a boy!" moments for Me or anything like that. Thinking back, I remember trying to do certain things that I was baffled and frustrated at My inability to do (like peeing standing up... yes, I tried valiantly as a young'un), and being frustrated at the "feminine" expectations put on Me that I wanted so badly to reject... but being closed off from the "progressiveness" of modern society, these behaviors were incidental and surreptitious.

So in that, I can't really relate to many trans-persons' experiences in that area. I was told I was a girl, so I was a girl. Faithfully (though I was not very good at it).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest member25959

I don't think I "just knew" anything. I had gender drilled into Me from an early age (raised by an older man who believed in raising girls as GIRLS -- dresses and all)

I never really knew what Gender was before 16 ( :blink: ) I just thought I was stuck with Sex. I didn't like my sex either though, I should have realized I was trans earlier, If I kew what trans was. I only properly knew what trans was at 16

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Frey

I don't think I "just knew" anything. I had gender drilled into Me from an early age (raised by an older man who believed in raising girls as GIRLS -- dresses and all)

I never really knew what Gender was before 16 ( :blink: ) I just thought I was stuck with Sex. I didn't like my sex either though, I should have realized I was trans earlier, If I kew what trans was. I only properly knew what trans was at 16

I didn't know what trans was until last year, really, and I'm 22. I mean, I knew it was part of the GLBT acronym after the age of about 19 (after being in New York City for a bit), but I kind of just thought "oh, drag queens" or something to that effect and didn't think about it anymore.

Guess those of you who didn't know what gender was (or didn't have one instilled into you) have a headstart of sorts -- sometimes not knowing a box exists makes it easier to think outside of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now