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What it feels like to be trans, genderqueer or genderless


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probably feels pretty normal cause thats who they are...

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25 minutes ago, miettaisace said:

probably feels pretty normal cause thats who they are...

What does that mean?

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9 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

What does that mean?

the question was 'What it feels like to be trans, genderqueer or genderless'

my answer was normal. 

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40 minutes ago, miettaisace said:

the question was 'What it feels like to be trans, genderqueer or genderless'

my answer was normal. 

What does “normal” mean? Obviously it’s the only thing we’ve ever known, but the question is intended to mean in the context of being  different by society’s standards, and the marginalization that comes with it- not to mention the dysphoria.

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2 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

What does “normal” mean? Obviously it’s the only thing we’ve ever known, but the question is intended to mean in the context of being  different by society’s standards, and the marginalization that comes with it- not to mention the dysphoria.

i interpret the question differently 

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11 hours ago, miettaisace said:

i interpret the question differently 

Good for you then?

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3 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

Good for you then?

just stating the facts. 

you disagree with how i answered and yet its my answer. 

 

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4 minutes ago, miettaisace said:

just stating the facts. 

you disagree with how i answered and yet its my answer. 

 

I don't believe I disagreed with the content of your answer, more so your interpretation of the question as someone who DID answer it the way it was intended to be asked, but if that's what you want to believe I can't stop you.

See the OP:



How else can / have you described what it feels like to be trans / genderqueer / genderless?

Or, if you are not trans / genderqueer / genderless, how would you describe knowing that your gender identity does match your body?

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  • 2 weeks later...

as someone who’s genderflux female, but very much on the agender side of things most of the time, i’d say that it truly feels like my brain in terms of gender is a blank slate. when i think about myself i don’t typically think of myself as “a girl”, just as... me. a person. when i do feel more female, how i think about and refer to myself changes.

 

in some ways, it makes me wonder if the female part of me is only there because of social obligation, or conditioning(?) with me being AFAB. but that’s true anyways, isn’t it? - gender, and any number of ways in which each of us perceive ourselves, is inherently tied to social conditioning and experiences we’ve had. just because i was “conditioned” to be female doesn’t mean that part of my identity is somehow invalidated.

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Mmm I have a question. What doese it mean to feel like a girl or boy? I mean whatever I do be it girlish or not I see it as a part of my personality not by gender. I am just confused on that....How conscious are you of your gender.

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I jumped the gun when I first posted here. I had to figure out first that I was repressing something, then had to figure out what I was repressing. I feel like I am bigender. After I let it out I was ready to present as a woman and and mix it straight into my life, but then that came crashing down when I finally realized for me what that would mean for me interfacing in the world. I've rebounded, and since then I feel myself involuntarily switching back and forth between a female gender and a male gender. Sometimes it feels like the switch can last minutes, other times seconds.

 

I know I've had these shifts throughout my life, but I'm actually happy now that I think I can identify it. I think one of the reasons why it was so hard to identify was because we have this positive (not in terms of value) model of what gender is, but feeling dysphoric is more of a void. Like "this doesn't fit", but you can't know what fills that void if you don't realize it exists in the first place. 

 

The last few weeks have been surreal. I feel like I'm LARPing Quantum leap (but in reverse or something)

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On 12/27/2017 at 3:48 AM, Copal_0 said:

I jumped the gun when I first posted here. I had to figure out first that I was repressing something, then had to figure out what I was repressing. I feel like I am bigender. After I let it out I was ready to present as a woman and and mix it straight into my life, but then that came crashing down when I finally realized for me what that would mean for me interfacing in the world. I've rebounded, and since then I feel myself involuntarily switching back and forth between a female gender and a male gender. Sometimes it feels like the switch can last minutes, other times seconds.

 

I know I've had these shifts throughout my life, but I'm actually happy now that I think I can identify it. I think one of the reasons why it was so hard to identify was because we have this positive (not in terms of value) model of what gender is, but feeling dysphoric is more of a void. Like "this doesn't fit", but you can't know what fills that void if you don't realize it exists in the first place. 

 

The last few weeks have been surreal. I feel like I'm LARPing Quantum leap (but in reverse or something)

You could be bigender, yes, but personally I think that what you're describing is genderfluid, or some derivative thereof. Then again, that may just be me... Take it or leave it, whichever fits you best... I'm not you, I don't know exactly how you feel. Look up the terms, decide which one, if any, fits you, and be awesome with plenty of cake...

Just sayin'. It could be who you are, it could not. Only you can know for sure. I'm not trying to force this on you, just giving a suggestion. Hopefully this helps

Tortuga. 

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On 21.12.2017 at 5:56 AM, :)(: said:

Mmm I have a question. What doese it mean to feel like a girl or boy? I mean whatever I do be it girlish or not I see it as a part of my personality not by gender. I am just confused on that....How conscious are you of your gender.

That's a good question. Whatever I do or like, whether it's girlish or boyish is my personality and not my gender. Gender is something constructed by the whole of society, i.e. most people nowadays think pink is a girlish color. That doesn't have to mean anything for you as a person at all. You like what you like, doesn't make you more of a girl or a boy, man or woman. 

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My fave color is orange. I say scr3w gender roles, I don't give two cents about what society governs I wear or act like. Never gonna be a cis/het, never gonna want to be one, for I am who I am

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Calligraphette_Coe
On 12/20/2017 at 11:56 PM, :)(: said:

Mmm I have a question. What doese it mean to feel like a girl or boy? I mean whatever I do be it girlish or not I see it as a part of my personality not by gender. I am just confused on that....How conscious are you of your gender.

I suffered 4 episodes of severe cranial trauma in my lifetime. Each time, I felt a little different afterward in how I saw, thought and how it affected memory, et al. But even knowing the before and after, you'd be hard pressed to guess what happened to me, and I couldn't give you any numbers like 'how many fewer engineering facts are you able to recall now'. 

 

But I know I'm no longer meeting OEM specs.

 

it's like a was taken prisoner as a baby by a whole different tribe, and to count coup on that tribe, they raised me to be one of them. I shouldn't know this, I just do, just as I know I'm not one of them, but it's all I've ever known. 

 

It's like I remember the Garden of Eden, but can' get back in to save my soul.  :(

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  • 3 weeks later...

So I had on a very gothic looking outfit yesterday to accompany my latest hair color and my mom said that I looked feminine for once ... From that my butt hole clinched a bit x_X

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  • 2 weeks later...

I used to have major dysphoria towards my body. I have quite a curvy body...wide hips, big breasts, a round butt. My face is quite round giving me an even more feminine appearance. My breasts bothered me a lot. I didn’t feel comfortable with growing my hair out either. At the moment, I don’t care how people read me. I know that gender is an irrelevant factor in my life. I’m not going to argue about gender with people. It’s a waste of time and energy.

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Someone on the first page of this topic mentioned the concept of being, "gender-uncommited."  I rather like that.

 

As for pronouns, just use my name.  

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2 minutes ago, GoblinLog said:

Someone on the first page of this topic mentioned the concept of being, "gender-uncommited."  I rather like that.

 

As for pronouns, just use my name.  

What if your name is He?

 

😝

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hi. i think i might be transgender. 

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_____-________-_

Hey Pink.. you think you might be Trans? how do you feel about your gender.. I myself have known i didnt fit in this stereotype i was given for a very long time.. only recently have i gotten the courage to show myself for who i am.. albeit this was 5 years ago now.. still struggling on the path towards my enlightenment. but we get there in the end.

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_____-________-_

Personally being trans is empowering. showing your true colors. who you truly are and being accepted for it is a great boost in self confidence.. my family have yet to accept it but ive often expressed myself as feminine around me friends and felt really good about myself.. however there are fears.. these being toilets and non acceptance and wondering who is gonna take things very violently with you is very scary

 

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  • 1 month later...

I guess I'm genderqueer. I'm still trying to explore who I am and how I feel. I ID as a demigirl, but it's still a bit hard to get used to.

 

For everyone out there who is questioning their gender, research it, explore yourself, ask people who are trans or genderqueer or whatever.

 

 

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On 5/30/2009 at 1:00 AM, Elliott Ford said:

If you do not know the gender of a person you are trying to refer to, i suggest you either use "they" or avoid using pronouns at all, rather than trying to guess.

We do this at my university's QueerSpace. Unless you absolutely know what pronouns a person uses, everyone is referred to with neutral pronouns. It's just a generally-known rule, which is good because we have quite a few genderqueer folks (including myself) that use the room regularly.

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Neutral nerd

As genderless I feel like just a person, and people coming up with expectations based on my 2nd X chromosome confines me to somebody less than myself... I remember reading a book in a world where only women were allowed to be scholars while men fought wars and acted as the "faces". One of the characters said something... I can't quite remember the quote so I'll try to paraphrase 

~"some scholars ask what role we, as modern women, play. They think themselves progressive in their denial of traditional roles. They are wrong, because it is impossible to make a single definition that encompasses half the human population. By its action alone it limits the infinite variety of womenhood."

Is this allowed? The book was Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson, if thats not enough citation someone tell me and I can change it. 

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Being raised in a small redneck town of Christian zealots it was hard being trans...Well for the longest time I didnt even know what the hell I was...

Gender roles were simple--men had to be strong, emotionless providers for the household and head of said household, women were supposed to care for their husbands, have kids, clean and cook until they die due to the prolonged exposure of Clorox bleach, merlot and misery....xD or so thats what I had observed growing up.

I never saw myself as a girl or woman, I tried wearing makeup twice--Once at a middle school dance and another time when my mom bribed me into a makeover with 50$--both times I hated it and it made me feel like a member of the Insane Clown Posse. People expected me not to play football, pick fights with guys or wear my brother's clothes but I just couldnt meet their expectations. I knew this person in the mirror was male...he was just hiding deep down. Honestly being trans almost feels like youre delusional....you can see what everyone else cant and no matter how many times to try to talk to someone about it 98% of the time they wont understand or even try to. My family is like that...they say theyre cool with it but now that im about to start HRT, theyre getting pretty hostile and distant. I know why, they dont even have to say anything...Some people treat you differently when youre trans...and those are the people who arent worth your time.

Its like youre this puzzle piece trying to fit in a different puzzle it doesn't belong to...but that doesnt mean you cant force it in there and make it stay put because goddamnit it looks good right there!...<.<

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PixleyDust✨
On 5/24/2009 at 5:16 PM, AllyCat said:

Being put into the female category often comes with belittling and low status, but there are qualities that might make a person choose that category nonetheless. It offers the opportunity for close friendships with other people in the female category, many of whom are totally awesome. Placing yourself in the female category can be one way of finding an erotic language that designates you as desirable and beautiful.

I think that people who are trans and masculine don't just want to be in the male category for the preferential treatment, but for subtler reasons. It can give you a kind of close relationship with other people in the male category that is hard to achieve otherwise. It makes it easier to conceptualize yourself and your body as strong.

I like seeing how many different places I can fit myself. I think there's a subtype of the female category that feels like "home" to me in some very specific settings (e.g., when I am surrounded by other women in the same subtype), but that I can't always access. It feels much less "home" to me in other settings (e.g., interacting with male friends, trying to find an erotic language that suits me).

Don't know if that's any help to anyone else; it's much more about gender than about body. My body has always cooperated with me more or less, and I don't know what it's like to have body dysphoria.

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS RESPONSE. 😍

 

And it’s fascinating, since this is pretty much the precise reasoning I identify as genderfluid. 

 

GOD. I can’t stop fangirling over this. THE YES IS TOO MUCH. 🤣

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PixleyDust✨
On 6/8/2009 at 2:31 AM, Fi_Loubet said:

Whenever this happens, it feels like they are referring to my sex, rather than my gender.

OH DANG. 🤯

 

I’m a genderfluid AFAB, and maybe this is why I’m usually cool with female pronouns/salutations (ma’am, lady, girl, etc.), what have you, and why I experience very little to no dysphoria when this happens. 

 

PHEW. I feel like a weight has just been lifted, so thank you for that. That’s one less thing to be confused about. 😊

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Calligraphette_Coe
On 3/26/2018 at 5:39 AM, Lars0fMars said:

 

Its like youre this puzzle piece trying to fit in a different puzzle it doesn't belong to...but that doesnt mean you cant force it in there and make it stay put because goddamnit it looks good right there!...<.<

In engineering, it would be something like this:

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interference_fit

 

Myself, I tend to think of it more as covert guerrilla warfare. And even though it often seems futile to go up against a firmly entrenched majority as a sort of insurgent? Guess what? The Big Guys, whom you would think always win? Nope, they only come out on top 63% of the time in modern conflicts. Sometimes all it takes to thwart a well-oiled bigotry 'tis a bit of sand in the gears trickled into the machine from inside the closet.

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