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Name Issues at University


mort paradis

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mort paradis

(This is both a request for some help in the form of experiences and anxieties, and a bit of a rant, if you want to skip to the question at the bottom I completely understand ^_^ )

I will be going to back to university this year; to a university where the student identification card is used for virtually everything. Now, my problem with this is my name- more specifically that my name, which I have used every day of my life these past two or three years, does not match my legal name. I simply can't afford a name change and I already know the fee waiver will be denied because that is what they did for my wife.* I could possibly use some of my fall financial aid, but i don't get it until that semester starts, so it won't help me with the summer or fall classes. And speaking of classes, my legal name gets to be on the class roster. So unless I want to go through hell, I get to out myself to all of my teachers. To sum it up- I'm outed to my professors, I'm outed every time I use my meal plan,** outed whenever I check out a book for a paper, and so on. This really is hell for me, it's one of the things that contributed to my breakdown which contributed to me dropping out in the first place.

I've talked to the director of the LGBT department at the university about this. She called around and found out that they can't change the name without a legal name change. So no she is going to meet with some people to try and change the policy. She has asked me to come up with a list of things that basically, I don't have the same access to as a trans-person. Things that have been problematic, that have or could cause issues. This is where me asking for some help comes in. I figure, if I can get some more people's experiences than it could have more of an impact when she brings these things to the university admins. The information I give her will have any names removed, for everyone's privacy. Also, I figure that maybe this could help someone else somewhere that is having a similar problem with their school.

*She is unemployed, but since we are married, she was required to put my income on the form.

**I work in the catering department, which is part of food services, so I talked to or worked with many of the cashiers and they don't know the "legal me" i.e. I'm stealth at work.

In short, the question(s) is:

In what ways does or did your legal/birth name and/or gender marker cause issues for you as a college or university student? What privileges and/or rights were you denied because of this? (If this does not apply to you hypothetical situations are also helpful.)

Thanks ^_^

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That sucks, my university said they would treat whatever name I chose as if I'd legally changed my name (I never did, thoguh I have legally changed it since them)

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Elliott Ford

for the most part, my uni's been good about it.

But it is more than just embarassing to have to correct my pronoun. I really would rather people didn't find out i'm trans in that way, it feels like making a fuss and shoving my trans-ness in everyone's faces if i have to do that. I'm not "that transsexual student" I'm just me. I'm Elliott (though they do know that my name is likely to change again). It feels like i'm making a point if i have to basically out myself in front of my class. Which i really don't want to have to do.

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I'm sort of at the same point with my college. My ID is used for everything, as well, but all I did was put a piece of tape over my name and write the correct name on top of it. :P Sure, it looks really fake and messy, but it lets people see my real name, and not my legal name.

My legal name shows up when I take out books, but usually the librarians have the decency to pretend they don't see my legal name, heh.

With teachers.... my college uses a special program for registering classes, etc (called PeopleSoft, I think?), and there's a space for a nickname, and you could ask that your name be entered there, if the same goes for your school. Also, I have emailed my professors before classes start to ask about books, and I've signed with my name and ID number, to indicate that I'm the same person as the legal name on their roster, but I prefer this name..... sure, that outs you to your professor, but if anything it doesn't out you to your classmates.

I hope that helped, and good luck. :cake:

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mort paradis
With teachers.... my college uses a special program for registering classes, etc (called PeopleSoft, I think?), and there's a space for a nickname, and you could ask that your name be entered there, if the same goes for your school.

My university uses PeopleSoft too, and I've seen a section where it can list different names you go by, and I honestly don't understand why they can't just put it in there. I'm hoping that the university changes their mind, from what I understand they wouldn't put anything in that section. Maybe I'll email and ask the assistant registrar, since she's the one in charge of PeopleSoft at the university, how I could get a nickname in there and what it would do exactly.

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With teachers.... my college uses a special program for registering classes, etc (called PeopleSoft, I think?), and there's a space for a nickname, and you could ask that your name be entered there, if the same goes for your school.

My university uses PeopleSoft too, and I've seen a section where it can list different names you go by, and I honestly don't understand why they can't just put it in there. I'm hoping that the university changes their mind, from what I understand they wouldn't put anything in that section. Maybe I'll email and ask the assistant registrar, since she's the one in charge of PeopleSoft at the university, how I could get a nickname in there and what it would do exactly.

That's a good idea, definitely do that. Or, if there's some sort of diversity/LGBT person who could advocate for you?

Good luck.

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mort paradis
That's a good idea, definitely do that. Or, if there's some sort of diversity/LGBT person who could advocate for you?

Good luck.

Yes:

I've talked to the director of the LGBT department at the university about this. She called around and found out that they can't change the name without a legal name change. So now she is going to meet with some people to try and change the policy.

She's also offered to contact my professors for me, but I would just like for once not to be out to what seems like everyone, especially as my trans identity is becoming less in the forefront of myself. (if that made any sense XD)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah, I understand about the identity being less in the forefront so you don't want to deal with the hassle of everyone wondering, misunderstanding, being surprised, whatever--you've got more important things to do with your life.

I have been planning to legally change my name this summer, but I am extremely lazy and disorganized and haven't gotten around to it. I haven't even looked into the local laws (I looked at the state I'm still officially a resident of, going to school out of state, and back home wouldn't work out b/c you have to go to court and book a date a month later, and I won't be home for a stretch that long ever). I hope it's not too expensive here.

I agree, having the birthname available to EVERYONE who works for the school, and on the roster, is really annoying. I'm in this fantasy land where I'm not visible as female to other people, and the most common thing to break it is someone calling me by the wrong name (they don't talk about you in third person as often). I wish people would use gender neutral pronouns on me, or mix up the he's and the she's... The diversity coordinator at my school keeps calling me "woman" and "she", even though I've told her that's not my preference. Otherwise she's very nice, though.

I'm a little worried about getting all my records in line when I do change my name legally, what with money and such, but I guess that's not getting any better the longer I wait... /depressed

Sorry I can't offer anything helpful. Just good luck, and hopefully they'll work something out--it really is your rights. (I'm NOT out as not-female at my school, mainly because I don't think people will understand, and you can't just pass for no gender. I'd prefer presenting as male if the choice were easy, but I take one look at my hips, or try to breathe after getting even a modest amount of boob-compression going on for a few days, or look at my face, etc, and I know the best I could get, optimistically and wearing bulky clothes all the time, is a few people wondering. And I don't want people to think, "Is that a girl or a boy?"--I want them to know ze's not either. But not even some of my closest friends are ready for that. *sighs*)

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