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do even asexual men masturbate?


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  • 3 months later...
guardianoftheblind

Have there been experiences of masturbation not being physically enjoyable? And have there been experiences of not being able or knowing how to do it well?

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orderinchaos

or the reverse - enjoying it so much that one doesn't need sexual stimulation from other sources?

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  • 2 weeks later...
guardianoftheblind

BUMP

The reasoning behind my question is I have never masturbated or attempted to do so. I know I don't have a desire to engage in sexually stimulating activities. I don't want to have sex, but the idea of it doesn't completely repulse me. But because of what I feel might be necessary for me to have a marriage with a sexual person somewhere down the road, I want to know whether I can tolerate sexually stimulating activities. I'm afraid to wait until I'm in a close relationship before trying things out, because if it doesn't go well I could lose an important relationship.

So I'm guessing a safe way to try things without endangering a relationship would be masturbation. But I'm afraid of that too. Since I don't internally want to do it, I'm not sure I would be able to completely figure it out. I've looked around at some other sites to see what I should do physically, but I'm still nervous about trying it. I'm also not to keen with the overall idea of masturbating, as it seems to me like it's satisfaction with no emotions involved, and I frown upon intercourse with no emotions involved. I guess I don't understand how one can masturbate for more than the potential physical pleasure.

Any advise or experiences would be appreciated.

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orderinchaos

quite simply, think about a person you like and imagine hugging them and stuff while you're doing it. if I can pass on one tip, I have a nice big quilt on my bed and I usually roll it up into a reasonably solid form and hug it while doing the deed :P

oh and have a few tissues ready nearby.

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Worthless Poster
Have there been experiences of masturbation not being physically enjoyable? And have there been experiences of not being able or knowing how to do it well?

Well! I'm a girl and all... but I'd hafta say that this is something I can very competently reply to. I'd have to say that I did try masturbating for awhile... not until I was almost 17, though. And I'd hafta say at first I had NO idea what to do and it wasn't good at all, so I stopped. Then I tried again a few months later and it was a lot better but it made me sick. I swear it actually made me uncomfy and ill. I kept trying for awhile because I figured that 1) there must be something wrong with me if I don't like it, so I had to mkae myself like it and, 2) I'd only like it if I went "all the way" but I never did, and I still don't like it. I feel a lot more comfy with myself as asexual now so I don't worry about it anymore, and I'm glad I didn't like it, cause I still think it was kinda gross.... (Okay, very...)

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guardianoftheblind

BOA, that's a helpful site. I've looked through a site similar to that awhile ago, but unfortunately I can't find it anymore. http://www.my-penis.org and http://www.myvag.net are sites giving personal accounts on masturbation and a variety of other genital issues.

Thank you for sharing, Ann. I'm 19 and have had no desire to masturbate. Masturbation is scarier for me than sex with another person. If and when I have sex, there will be someone with me who I feel very close to and who I know will help me along and be supportive. When it comes to masturbation, it's just me and my little buddy; no love being expressed and no support. Although I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience, it makes me feel a lot better knowing someone else out there has tried it and didn't like it.

I've considered how to be mentally stimulated, what to think about. Thanks for the suggestion OrderInChaos, but I don't believe I'm going to think about a person I know. I wouldn't feel right doing something like that, it bothers me just thinking about the idea of touching myself while imagining anything about a person I like. I guess the point of trying this out is more about physical stimulus than mental stimulus; I want to discover whether or not I can tolerate sexually stimulating activities to my body, so I have a better idea one way or another about what kinds of relationships are possible for me to pursue.

I'm probably thinking about this way too much, perhaps I should just shut up and do it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
guardianoftheblind

So then I shut up and I did it.

The good news is it wasn't the most horrible time of my life. I'm not sure if I enjoyed it or not, I was more surprised and in wonderment of the new experience. I did it late at night, I figured I would be less nervous and have seen lots of people talk about masturbating before they go to sleep. I wasn't thinking about any people, I played music that I really enjoy and just focused on the music. The physical sensations were unlike anything I've experienced before. The strangest thing to me was being sweaty and having my heart race, it felt like I was in a physical education class at school. :D

I think I'll be doing it again. It was hard to tell the first time whether it really was pleasant or if that came from the excitement of doing something new and different. But it wasn't horrible or too disgusting, which makes me happy. Gives me hope that maybe someday I'll be able to pursue the kind of relationship I want without having to worry about the unknown of sexual stimulation possibly being something I can't tolerate.

I feel a little let down in myself for engaging in sexually stimulating activity without having love involved or sharing the experience with someone I care about, but then I remember the reason for doing so is to make things clearer to me when I do have someone to love and potentially share myself with.

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I masturbate because I still have the urge to do that even though I don't have the urge to fantasise. In other words, I feel the need to masturbate because it feels good but it is not directed at any person, place or thing.

8)

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  • 6 years later...

But hEY, people!!, a fantasy is probprobprobabliest only hormones or other little thingies in our body. so a fantasy is actually organic. ok, i am a bit scient-y but it's so romantic....your bodily functions.

it's very western world-ish to make fantasy be the enemy or opposite of reality. i really don't share that. i am a fan of the theory of cellular memory....all your emotions are stored and saved in your cells. and your body reacts to every thought. i mean, come on (speaking to the boys in here now), if you FANTASIZE about sex, then you get hard, otherwise you wouldn't be able to masturbate.

which means that a thought kick-started a real action.

(o i am such a little-mr-knows-it-all! 8) but i like y'all!)

Not everyone fantasizes though, I don't. For me masturbation serves a twofold purpose, it gets rid of a distracting erection (which tends to arrive at random times and situations) and it also has potential health benefits (studies show that it drastically reduces the chances of getting heart disease, which is the #1 cause of death in america, so I'd like to avoid that.) I don't fantasize though, I tried it once, since that is the thing to do supposedly, but it didn't do anything for me, or speed it up or anything. For me it is a purely physical thing.

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I can`t remember if I posted a response here, but if I have - SORRY!!!!

(Maybe that is a direct reaction from long term maturbation during my early years???)

I am a guy and yes, I do masturbate. It`s normal to do so, otherwise you`ll wake up in a sticky mess and take it from me - that isn`t a pleasant thing to experience in the morning.

(Sorry for the graphic display there folks!)

Even when I was a kid it was a natural thing to do. Like everyone here, it was a way for me to get used to your body. I wanted to see what worked and what didn`t. I guess that you could say that I had an early fascination with it, when I was growing up.

You know what your limits are and that way, you can relate that to your partner. Or in some cases, show them directly how you like it.

I must admit, that in recent years I don`t do it as much as I used to when I was younger. "I guess the sensation of doing it has worn out over the course of time?" I haven`t gotten bored of it, because you don`t need to do it all the time. Just here and there to keep the body in check.

So yes, I am a guy and I like to masturbate. (Though, I don`t do it all the time!!!!)

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I understand some do and understand for most of those it's a release thing rather than a sexual thing

for me i can't be bothered to pull my pud...does nothing for me.. never has..i use me winkie to piss straight...ish and thats all

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I am a guy and yes, I do masturbate. It`s normal to do so, otherwise you`ll wake up in a sticky mess and take it from me - that isn`t a pleasant thing to experience in the morning.

(Sorry for the graphic display there folks!)

That's not true, at least not for everyone. I don't masturbate and I never had a wet dream in my life

That's not the first time I hear that kind of stuff thrown like scientific truth... Next thing you know, we'll get to the *blue balls* urban legend :rolleyes:

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Usually I masturbate on things I would never actually want to do in real life. They're appealing in fantasy, but not in reality. The actual real visceral truth of sex and the body parts and what it means is just too much for me. But I do masturbate.

Then again I'm a girl. I think it's weird how taboo it is for women to masturbate. And if we do masturbate it's depicted as this really hot sensual thing, whereas guys doing it is depicted as this gross boorish jerk thing. Like, if a girl masturbates she's naughty and dirty but kind of hot too, but if a guy does it there's something really creepy/loserish about it in popular imagery. It really makes no sense to me why that is.

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