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older asexuals - where do you live


halcro

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I'm from Delaware, but temporarily I'm Florida. Can't wait to move back north.

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I live near Olympia, Washington State. I sure wish this website enabled members to search by state. I am now 66, and would like to meet other older asexuals here, but the nearest active group (Meetup) is based in Seattle (2 hours away), and most of their members seem to be under 30.

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Bonjour,

J'ai découvert ce site à l'occasion d'une mission radio qui présentait le livre de Peggy Sastre: no sex

J'habite dans le centre de la France et souhaite échanger sur ce sujet. 

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14 hours ago, Diotime said:

Bonjour,

J'ai découvert ce site à l'occasion d'une mission radio qui présentait le livre de Peggy Sastre: no sex

J'habite dans le centre de la France et souhaite échanger sur ce sujet. 

Bonjour Diotime,
Bienvenue chez AVEN! Si vous ne parlez pas anglais, il serait plus avantageux pour vous de poster sur le forum francophone d’AVEN.
https://fr.asexuality.org/

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Southern California, the part that Disney owns. If there are others like me out here, they stay as low profile as I do.

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On 7/20/2019 at 10:45 AM, aiya said:

Southern California, the part that Disney owns. If there are others like me out here, they stay as low profile as I do.

I'm trying to find fellow  California asexual over 45. I live in Northern California.

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On 9/24/2019 at 10:54 PM, Kany58 said:

I’m 60 and live in Southern CA. 

Do you know of any  more Aces over 45 in Southern California.I live in Northern California and I can't find aces  near my age  49.

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On 9/29/2019 at 7:55 AM, newgirl said:

Do you know of any  more Aces over 45 in Southern California.I live in Northern California and I can't find aces  near my age  49.

No, I don’t, not yet anyway, I haven’t been searching long.

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lonewolf Nomad

40 yr old, Live in North Central Alberta Canada

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4 hours ago, lonewolf Nomad said:

40 yr old, Live in North Central Alberta Canada

Welcome to AVEN from southern Ontario :cake: :)

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@Linda60 Welcome to AVEN :cake: 😂 I, like you, was so happy to find out about asexuality. Did you just recently identify as asexual? I was 44 when I stumbled across a newspaper article about the identity.

 

I'm not out to the world, but have told a few close friends that I identify as asexual. They were all understanding and accepting of this.

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starting over

Linda60, Aloha! I too found out around 42... so much answered! I think you told my story too! So happy to finally be me! 

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Dances With Cats
On 10/27/2019 at 2:39 PM, Linda60 said:

My lifetime struggles all involve denying my orientation, feeling shame about it, and/or trying to change it.

I so feel you on this. I felt shame about my orientation for many years because I thought I was asexual due to being "damaged" and being afraid that people would think I'm immature or repressed (I'm actually VERY sex-positive and think no form of sex should be shameful) because of it. Now I've just run out of f*cks to give.

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Dances With Cats

I'm 51, live in Seattle and, oddly enough, I've found it hard to meet asexuals and demisexuals here because most of them seem to be a lot younger than me. That shouldn't be an issue, but ageism really is a thing, even in dating or finding friends who share my orientation. I requested to join an asexual meetup here, and I still haven't heard back from the organizer. 😞

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1 hour ago, Dances With Cats said:

I'm 51, live in Seattle and, oddly enough, I've found it hard to meet asexuals and demisexuals here because most of them seem to be a lot younger than me. That shouldn't be an issue, but ageism really is a thing, even in dating or finding friends who share my orientation. I requested to join an asexual meetup here, and I still haven't heard back from the organizer. 😞

That’s true where I live on the east coast as well.  I think a lot of it’s related to how broad, open discussion of asexuality is fairly new.  People who’ve grown up in the US in past couple of decades are much more likely to be aware of asexuality, demisexuality, etc.; it’s in the media, online, taught in sex ed, and so forth.  Most people who grew up prior to that point had to first realize something was “wrong” or unusual and then embark on individual research missions.

 

Some haven’t realized something’s wrong to start with, and others are in committed family units.

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@Dances With Cats, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂

 

For making friends the "Over 50's" thread is a good place to start 

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3 hours ago, Dances With Cats said:

most of them seem to be a lot younger than me

Same here (I'm 63).

 

Welcome and :cake: ! (great user name!) :) 

 

1 hour ago, Sleighcaptain said:

For making friends the "Over 50's" thread is a good place to start 

Good suggestion :) 

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19 hours ago, ryn2 said:

That’s true where I live on the east coast as well.  I think a lot of it’s related to how broad, open discussion of asexuality is fairly new.  People who’ve grown up in the US in past couple of decades are much more likely to be aware of asexuality, demisexuality, etc.; it’s in the media, online, taught in sex ed, and so forth.  Most people who grew up prior to that point had to first realize something was “wrong” or unusual and then embark on individual research missions.

 

Some haven’t realized something’s wrong to start with, and others are in committed family units.

In the couple of years that I've been on AVEN, I noticed that the older asexuals just seem to have come across asexuality randomly. They have known something isn't quite right, but don't really know what to do about it. Several members here that are in their 60s or 70s and have only recently found out about asexuality and how it described their identity. Whereas reading the accounts of asexuals that are in their 20s, they knew something was 'off' in their 'sexuality' and they dove right into the research.

 

Myself I got internet access in 1997 and found out about asexuality the old school way (a newspaper article) in 2005 (I was 44). Looking back I was aro ace during that time frame, but would have never thought to search 'Why am I not interested in sex?" on the internet...

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On 10/27/2019 at 5:39 PM, Linda60 said:

I'm 60 and live in Central Florida. Extremely happy about finding this site and the asexual community which has explained my entire life. Suddenly, everything makes sense. I've had no problems being asexual. There's nothing sad about it, nor is it a loss. My lifetime struggles all involve denying my orientation, feeling shame about it, and/or trying to change it. I apologized all my life for myself and much of that is just because the vast majority of humans aren't asexual. Can you non-asexuals even imagine if 99 out of 100 people were asexual? In other words, there were about 1% of you?   So the asexuals ran the world, made the rules, wrote the books, and constantly let you know that there was something wrong with you. Maybe therapy would make you right. Maybe you were abused and repressed it. But worst, they pitied you and denied you were painfully marginalized constantly. Imagine that for moment. Asexuality is a lifetime orientation, not an illness. Happy to be me.

Nor is it a choice, we are just who we are. And I'm quite happy to be me as well!

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2 hours ago, will123 said:

the older asexuals just seem to have come across asexuality randomly.

Exactly!  If you don’t know something exists it’s hard to identify with it.

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23 hours ago, Dances With Cats said:

I'm 51, live in Seattle. I requested to join an asexual meetup here, and I still haven't heard back from the organizer. 😞

Thanks for the reminder that I should sign up, too, especially if it takes time to get approved there. I am also in Seattle.

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On 12/3/2019 at 12:14 PM, Sleighcaptain said:

For making friends the "Over 50's" thread is a good place to start 

And it's for posters of any age who enjoy a more active thread.  We have regulars in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s, I believe.

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Dances With Cats
On 12/4/2019 at 9:58 AM, Catpaws said:

Thanks for the reminder that I should sign up, too, especially if it takes time to get approved there. I am also in Seattle.

I checked on Tuesday and it turns out I had been added to the group. I just never got a notification from Meetup. Probably ended up going in my Promotions folder or something so I didn't see it.

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