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Any hetrosexual asexuals out there?


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Any hetrosexual asexuals out there?? Who enjoy a hug and a kiss but have no desire for intercourse...

Yes - that's pretty much me.

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I consider myself slightly heteroromantic I guess, but mostly aromantic. Tho hugs are generally for people I've known for a long while, or family. I'll never initiate a hug, but I guess I'd be open to hugging someone if they wanted to.

I'm not at all experienced with kisses, but the idea is kinda meh. A family thing.

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Male hetero-romantic here. Hugs, cuddles, snuggling, caresses, kisses (no tongue), no sex. :)

same here !

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I've done enough reading on here to see that there are many "types" of asexuals. I don't know where I fit in here really and don't much care, I am who I am. And that is:

In the beginning of a relationship I desire sex with the object of my affections because (I have learned) it is a pathway for me. I am one of those that consider sex a bonding experience at the beginning of a relationship. I feel it is imperative at that point as it is one of the only ways to sew a particular thread in the tapestry of an intimate relationship. It -- to me -- is part of the weaving of trust and security and is one of the bricks that one lays down as the relationship is built. But after a time and once it has been used to sew the pieces together, I desire to lay that thread aside for good. It is as if it has performed its purpose and now it is on to the next phase!

There is another reason the oxytocin phase (I call it NRE for "New Relationship Energy") is vital to me. It is the only time that sex feels good to me -- i.e., before it becomes boring and vaguely disgusting.

I desire to be affectionate and loving and flirty.....all these things demonstrate my love and respect. I simply do not wish to be held accountable or responsible for the sexual satisfaction of another human being. I do not find sex compelling enough to even make the effort. Sex does nothing for me except make me slightly queasy. :)

This Romantically inclined, hetero-romantic asexual cuddle slut ...

has not found a better description of his attitude than this post.

:)

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Love the closeness, love the cuddles - hetero inclined...but when it gets to the 'I want to satisfy you first' ...well depended on how drunk I was. Only time I could do it, which was a pity I was very fond of my railwayman.

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I've done enough reading on here to see that there are many "types" of asexuals. I don't know where I fit in here really and don't much care, I am who I am. And that is:

In the beginning of a relationship I desire sex with the object of my affections because (I have learned) it is a pathway for me. I am one of those that consider sex a bonding experience at the beginning of a relationship. I feel it is imperative at that point as it is one of the only ways to sew a particular thread in the tapestry of an intimate relationship. It -- to me -- is part of the weaving of trust and security and is one of the bricks that one lays down as the relationship is built. But after a time and once it has been used to sew the pieces together, I desire to lay that thread aside for good. It is as if it has performed its purpose and now it is on to the next phase!

There is another reason the oxytocin phase (I call it NRE for "New Relationship Energy") is vital to me. It is the only time that sex feels good to me -- i.e., before it becomes boring and vaguely disgusting.

I desire to be affectionate and loving and flirty.....all these things demonstrate my love and respect. I simply do not wish to be held accountable or responsible for the sexual satisfaction of another human being. I do not find sex compelling enough to even make the effort. Sex does nothing for me except make me slightly queasy. :)

This Romantically inclined, hetero-romantic asexual cuddle slut ...

has not found a better description of his attitude than this post.

:)

I actually agree with Shaggy. :blink:

But I'm sure we'll get back to disagreeing again soon.

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Hetero-Ace here.

I'd only have sex to take a dive if I had a GF/Wife who really couldn't live without it. Casual sex?? NO. I hear it from my friends all the time and play along like it's something I'd want to do but really, I couldn't care less if I never had sex ever.

But I'm deeply romantic...Wrote a few songs about it in Open MIc if you ever want to see. Pretty clearly shows my stance on romance =O.

O yea...I also have some metalcore stuff/other poems written (thats besides the point though).

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Kiki Asexual Superstar

I'm in the everything but genitals category. When I'm in a relationship where I have a partner who understands my boundaries, things can be quite good. However, Communication is key to this working. Every guy who I have dated or been in a relationship with in the last 12 years or so knew the no-sex thing from the beginning. With one exception, they never tried to go beyond what I was comfortable with. Prior to that, I would have horrible panic attacks if a guy tried anything physical with me. I think, subconsciously, I thought that they would want more than I could give. A couple nice guys and a couple not-so-nice guys were sufficiently frightened by seizure-like panic attacks. Once, I knew who I was and was blatantly honest about it, I found that I could enjoy what I did like and refrain from what I didn't want.

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I consider myself hetero, insomuch as I seem to suffer an attraction to males. I'm not down with the touchy feely stuff though (like cuddles and hugs and kissing), however it's more indifference then an anti-touch type attitude so I'll go along with it if whatever dude that may have caught my fancy is looking for it. But I'd never seek it out of my own volition.

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I'm a female hetero-romantic, but not too romantic. I'm fine with kisses and hugs as long as it's not every minute. Holding hands or wrapping arms is fine, but I'd only do it for a few seconds, to show affection, then let go. I don't mind an arm over my shoulders in a 'buddy' sort of way, though.

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I know I'm all for hugs, snuggles, hand holding. But not sure about kissing yet.
Same here.
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Guest member25959

I'm not quite sure really...

I don''t mind being hugged or kissed (not on the lips though, yak), but i myself would'nt hug or kiss someone.

Although, i feel that if i was to have a relationship (i most likely won't), it would be with a girl rather than a boy.

one question could be, is it heterosexual asexual, or asexual heterosexual?

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one question could be, is it heterosexual asexual, or asexual heterosexual?

We typically say hetero-romantic asexual.

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  • 6 months later...

where can i find a hetrosexual asexual man who will like to explore outercourse but not intercourse,hmm(LOL).

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Another one here. I enjoy hugs well enough (more in a friendly than intimate way). Not interested in/repulsed by anything more.

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DarthMarth,

I think the number one problem that single romantic hetrosexual asexuals have in the dating world,What is our outercourse and/or intercourse limit. Most sexual men wants more then hugs,kissing and cuddling and asexual men are fine with kissing,hugs and cuddling. I haven't found a man who fits my "sexual" needs yet.

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jay williams

This is confusing to me. What are your "sexual" needs? I guess this involves "outercourse", but I am unclear what that is beyond cuddling. Are you saying that you like everything up to and EXCLUDING the sex act?

DarthMarth,

I think the number one problem that single romantic hetrosexual asexuals have in the dating world,What is our outercourse and/or intercourse limit. Most sexual men wants more then hugs,kissing and cuddling and asexual men are fine with kissing,hugs and cuddling. I haven't found a man who fits my "sexual" needs yet.

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Jaywilliams,

My "sexual" needs with a committed long term boyfriend or husband would be outercourse cybersex, phonesex, exchange erotic letters to each other , massage,kissing,hugging,cuddling, dry humping, light bdsm(without the pain and whips and chains), handjob,mutual masturbation (excluded anal,oral and vaginal sex).

Jaywilliam i have never meet an asexual or sexual man who could accept my outercourse only sexual needs. Sexual men wants intercourse or oral sex and asexual men just want to hug,kiss and cuddle only.

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Hetero-asexual here as well. I like hugging, handholding and cuddling with clothes on. Kissing (on the mouth - on the forehead, cheek, hand, etc. would be fine) and naked contact would be pushing it.

I think the kind of person I like only exists in fiction, though. :<

you totally expressed how i feel :)

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I am definitely one. I am a sucker for hugs, especially the ones that are like body to body. Nothing sexual... I just like really close hugs. Makes me feel more secure.

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Any hetrosexual asexuals out there?? Who enjoy a hug and a kiss but have no desire for intercourse...

Sounds just like me. I really enjoyed kissing the one time I got to do it, but the moment the guy stuck his hand up my shirt, I was bored. I wouldn't mind kissing again if I found the right person, but not much more than that. I can think of better ways of wasting my time. :lol:

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I notice more asexual are just fine with the basic hug,kiss and cuddling and not outercourse.

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